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Australia - The Land of the Feral Koala Bear [Move Complete!]

2

Posts

  • mooshoeporkmooshoepork Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    (clearly it should have been Melbourne)

    Fixed

    Also
    We use Canberra to stockpile the nations politicians, fireworks and hardcore pornography

    I lol'd hard.

    This is pretty much true :P

  • Shorn Scrotum ManShorn Scrotum Man Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    And man do they have porn. I was in middleschool when I visited Australia... it was quite the revelation, porno wise. They have softcore on regular old tv over there!

    Obviously, there are many good reasons to visit Australia. But as a horny middleschooler, the ready availability of porn was the best reason.

    steam_sig.png
  • ruzkinruzkin Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Come to Canberra

    Don't go to Canberra. I was raised there. It's a one-horse town.

    Melbourne is a great place to live. Everything is organised and convenient, public transport is pretty cheap and consistent, the pubs are numerous and the ladies are pretty. That is, if you like the AZN'S. I sure do.

    Explore the alleys, even the dodgy looking ones. Melbourne is safe, despite what the news would have you think. Twice as safe as it was in 2003, apparently. Dive into the cuisine and the coffee shops and the secret hidden clubs. Don't drink coffee at Starbucks, you didn't come all this way to drink American piss-coffee. Hit up Lygon St, Brunswick Rd, Sydney Rd for all your quality cafe needs.

    If you'll be travelling in and out of the CBD regularly, invest in a monthly ticket. It's unlimited rides on all trains, trams and buses for a month, what more do you want?

    Also, bring one jumper/jacket. Just because it's summer doesn't mean we won't have a few cold/rainy days. This is Melbourne, the city of four seasons in a day.

    Check out the beach. We have good beaches and bad ones. St Kilda beach is nice-ish, but there's often a lot of garbage there. A few k's further down the road is Elwood beach, which is pretty much abandoned most days and is all clean and gorgeous.

    Try the burgers. Aussie's make the best burgers in the world and anyone that says otherwise is a dirty liar. Our burgers are CREATIONS, not just slabs of meat and processed cheese.

    Wear sunblock, even if you think you won't need it.

    Finally, drop into Of Science and Swords for all your science fiction and fantasy book needs! We're in the Strand Arcade, on the corner of Elisabeth and Lonsdale streets. Ask for Ruzkin and I'll shake your hand.

    KqOm9Bt.jpg
  • ruzkinruzkin Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    VB is a beer

    like having the inside of your mouth on a dirty boot, I enjoy it

    VB stands for Victoria Bitter. It has also been rumoured to stand for Very Bad, or Vomit Brew. We have so many incredible beers in Australia, don't waste your time on the cheap ones. Try Bluetongue, Little Creatures, Cascade, Boags, James Squire... all delicious and home-grown.

    Also, vegemite is delicious, if you realise in advance that it it's a savoury spread. It's not sweet. It's salty as fuck, but salty can be nice. Spread it very, very thinly on toast with some butter and build up from there. If you can't see the bread through the vegemite, you've used too much.

    KqOm9Bt.jpg
  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    And man do they have porn. I was in middleschool when I visited Australia... it was quite the revelation, porno wise. They have softcore on regular old tv over there!

    Obviously, there are many good reasons to visit Australia. But as a horny middleschooler, the ready availability of porn was the best reason.

    What? I have lived here my whole life and only seen some boobs and maybe something more interesting on SBS. You are crazy.

    Go to Hungary. They show porn on every channel from 11pm onwards. No joke.

  • psycojesterpsycojester Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    ruzkin wrote: »
    Come to Canberra

    Don't go to Canberra. I was raised there. It's a one-horse town.

    Melbourne is a great place to live. Everything is organised and convenient, public transport is pretty cheap and consistent, the pubs are numerous and the ladies are pretty. That is, if you like the AZN'S. I sure do.

    Explore the alleys, even the dodgy looking ones. Melbourne is safe, despite what the news would have you think. Twice as safe as it was in 2003, apparently. Dive into the cuisine and the coffee shops and the secret hidden clubs. Don't drink coffee at Starbucks, you didn't come all this way to drink American piss-coffee. Hit up Lygon St, Brunswick Rd, Sydney Rd for all your quality cafe needs.

    If you'll be travelling in and out of the CBD regularly, invest in a monthly ticket. It's unlimited rides on all trains, trams and buses for a month, what more do you want?

    Also, bring one jumper/jacket. Just because it's summer doesn't mean we won't have a few cold/rainy days. This is Melbourne, the city of four seasons in a day.

    Check out the beach. We have good beaches and bad ones. St Kilda beach is nice-ish, but there's often a lot of garbage there. A few k's further down the road is Elwood beach, which is pretty much abandoned most days and is all clean and gorgeous.

    Try the burgers. Aussie's make the best burgers in the world and anyone that says otherwise is a dirty liar. Our burgers are CREATIONS, not just slabs of meat and processed cheese.

    Wear sunblock, even if you think you won't need it.

    Finally, drop into Of Science and Swords for all your science fiction and fantasy book needs! We're in the Strand Arcade, on the corner of Elisabeth and Lonsdale streets. Ask for Ruzkin and I'll shake your hand.

    Because i'd rather give business to you guys than to borders i'm wondering, how much would shipping cost from Melbourne to Newcastle, and do you stock the Orbit Books paper back editions of the Dresden Files books, the editions you've got up on your website look too nerdy to be see in public with.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ruzkinruzkin Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    We usually stock the US covers, but if by the Orbit covers you meant these:
    Spoiler:
    then I can totally get them for you, $19.95 each. I can squeeze 3 kilos of books into a $10 next-day delivery bag, too. We only charge for shipping what it costs to get the postal bag. Chuck me a PM with whatever you want me to hunt down.
    Anyway, we're getting off topic. Go to Section 8 in town, it's a bar in an alley that's open-air, just shipping containers and pallets. Best place to spend a summer day.

    KqOm9Bt.jpg
  • firewaterwordfirewaterword Tighter than R. Kelly in his teens. Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    To play devils advocate, the war museum in Canberra was kind of neat. And the drive from Sydney was scenic. That said, I never would've gone if my cousin hadn't been going to school there at the time. And I only spent a day there, so, uh, yeah.

    I didn't find VB so bad, but I guess I got used to it. That's all they'll bloody drink in Maroubra.

    They're gonna bury you, they're gonna finish. They're gonna stand 'em up six by six by six.
  • theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    To play devils advocate, the war museum in Canberra was kind of neat. And the drive from Sydney was scenic. That said, I never would've gone if my cousin hadn't been going to school there at the time. And I only spent a day there, so, uh, yeah.

    I didn't find VB so bad, but I guess I got used to it. That's all they'll bloody drink in Maroubra.

    My friend tried to put a dent into their culture by introducing everyone to Tooheys Old.

    Mythbusters once cut a car in half and drove around in it to see if it would run. Even they were less poorly conveyed.
  • burntheladleburntheladle Registered User
    edited September 2009
    (clearly it should have been Melbourne)

    Fixed

    Also
    We use Canberra to stockpile the nations politicians, fireworks and hardcore pornography

    I lol'd hard.

    This is pretty much true :P


    Only they just banned fireworks, so we're down to pollies and porn.


    Canberra is pretty interesting if you want to learn more about Australian history. If you don't... not so much.

    What would Zombie Pirate LeChuck Do?
  • theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    (clearly it should have been Melbourne)

    Fixed

    Also
    We use Canberra to stockpile the nations politicians, fireworks and hardcore pornography

    I lol'd hard.

    This is pretty much true :P


    Only they just banned fireworks, so we're down to pollies and porn.


    Canberra is pretty interesting if you want to learn more about Australian history. If you don't... not so much.

    Ah, but you can merely substitute fireworks for weed.

    Mythbusters once cut a car in half and drove around in it to see if it would run. Even they were less poorly conveyed.
  • FlayFlay Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    The alleyways of melbourne are, I hear, really worth exploring. They have kickass graffiti everywhere, and quite a few big graffiti names have appeared on their walls. Hosier Lane, opposite Federation Square, is probably the most notable.

    Here's a sample...

    melbourne_graffiti.jpg

  • theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Oh, by the way:

    Adelaide is a horrible fucking place full of weird and unlikeable people. The city itself is comparable to a minor satellite of a much better city, except the much better city is nowhere to be found. It's also the serial killer capital of Australia.

    Mythbusters once cut a car in half and drove around in it to see if it would run. Even they were less poorly conveyed.
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    theSquid wrote: »
    Oh, by the way:

    Adelaide is a horrible fucking place full of weird and unlikeable people. The city itself is comparable to a minor satellite of a much better city, except the much better city is nowhere to be found. It's also the serial killer capital of the world.

  • IriahIriah Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    oh yeah -

    you know how people joke that everything kills you in Australia? It's not true for about every animal but the sun. Summer is just around the corner and if you do not wear sunscreen and at least a hat, you will get owned by UV rays. The ozone hole over the Antarctic makes us far more susceptible to sunburn, UV rays, skin cancer and so on than a location of equivalent latitude in the northern hemisphere.

    So get some decent 30+ SPF sunblock and lather up.

  • QliphothQliphoth Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Yeah the sun in Australia is fucked in summer. And if this summer is anything like the last its gonna be long and hot. Also be prepared for ridiculous heat, we had a 46 degree day last February, I'd make sure wherever you are staying has a good air conditioner.

    Also Melbourne has some fantastic bars down a lot of those random alley ways. If you like ocean beaches (ie waves) the closest beaches are down the Mornington peninsula about 90mins from the city, its pretty good down there if you can find somewhere decently priced to stay.

    You're extremely unlikely to come across any animal that can kill you in Melbourne.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • blahblah Registered User
    edited September 2009
    Adelaide is a crazy beautiful and amazing city. But that being said, there is nothing of interest here unless you know some locals who are willing to take you about. Otherwise its just a smaller, shittier Melbourne/Sydney/Brisbane/Perth. On the bright side we totally trump Canberra. That place is a hole. It would take 300k a year plus a massive pension to get me anywhere near there.

    The only thing that's going to kill you will be Aussie guys. If you're into the night life in Australia you may or may not find that Aussie guys have a 'don't stand down' attitude. This is especially true for Brisbane.

    Oh, Tuesday night is half price dinner at the Docklands. Go there.

  • firewaterwordfirewaterword Tighter than R. Kelly in his teens. Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    If you're there in the summer, I sure hope you like flies. Everywhere.

    They're gonna bury you, they're gonna finish. They're gonna stand 'em up six by six by six.
  • CyvrosCyvros Look behind you, a three-headed monkey!Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    ruzkin wrote: »
    If you'll be travelling in and out of the CBD regularly, invest in a monthly ticket. It's unlimited rides on all trains, trams and buses for a month, what more do you want?
    This. Bear in mind, though, that there are two ticketing zones in the metro area - Zone 1 is the CBD and pretty much everything within about 10-12 kilometres of it, and Zone 2 is all the outer suburbs. There are also overlap zones, where you can use either a Zone 1 or 2 ticket. If you're living in Zone 1, best thing to do is to get a Zone 1 monthly ticket, because it lets you travel in both zones on weekends.
    ruzkin wrote: »
    Try the burgers. Aussie's make the best burgers in the world and anyone that says otherwise is a dirty liar. Our burgers are CREATIONS, not just slabs of meat and processed cheese.
    Also, make your way to Lord of the Fries at some point. There are two in the CBD and a few more slowly opening up in the suburbs. They do completely vegan burgers that taste better than most beef burgers I've had.

    Oh, and, of course:
    ruzkin wrote: »
    Also, vegemite is delicious, if you realise in advance that it it's a savoury spread. It's not sweet. It's salty as fuck, but salty can be nice. Spread it very, very thinly on toast with some butter and build up from there. If you can't see the bread through the vegemite, you've used too much.

  • HeatwaveHeatwave I heard you, Hot ShotRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Cyvros wrote: »
    Oh, and, of course:
    ruzkin wrote: »
    Also, vegemite is delicious, if you realise in advance that it it's a savoury spread. It's not sweet. It's salty as fuck, but salty can be nice. Spread it very, very thinly on toast with some butter and build up from there. If you can't see the bread through the vegemite, you've used too much.
    Not enough lime in the whole world for this. We also have a milder version as well but it's entirely up to you whether you even want to try vegemite.

    Vm7lDjT.jpg
    Steam: Heatwave / Origin: Heatwave111 / FC: 4227-1965-3206 / Wii U: Heatwave111
  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    man, thick wads of vegemite on unbuttered toast is the only way to go

    sig_zps00ca6d07.jpg
  • theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Heatwave wrote: »
    Cyvros wrote: »
    Oh, and, of course:
    ruzkin wrote: »
    Also, vegemite is delicious, if you realise in advance that it it's a savoury spread. It's not sweet. It's salty as fuck, but salty can be nice. Spread it very, very thinly on toast with some butter and build up from there. If you can't see the bread through the vegemite, you've used too much.
    Not enough lime in the whole world for this. We also have a milder version as well but it's entirely up to you whether you even want to try vegemite.

    You mean Promite? Man, fuck that. I can down that shit with a tablespoon.

    <sprouts a vicious beard of B. Blessed proportions>

    Mythbusters once cut a car in half and drove around in it to see if it would run. Even they were less poorly conveyed.
  • KalkinoKalkino Buttons Londres Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Guys, you inspired to me buy some more vegemite. It has been 3 months too long dammit!

    Freedom for the Northern Isles!
  • ruzkinruzkin Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    theSquid wrote: »
    Heatwave wrote: »
    Cyvros wrote: »
    Oh, and, of course:
    ruzkin wrote: »
    Also, vegemite is delicious, if you realise in advance that it it's a savoury spread. It's not sweet. It's salty as fuck, but salty can be nice. Spread it very, very thinly on toast with some butter and build up from there. If you can't see the bread through the vegemite, you've used too much.
    Not enough lime in the whole world for this. We also have a milder version as well but it's entirely up to you whether you even want to try vegemite.

    You mean Promite? Man, fuck that. I can down that shit with a tablespoon.

    <sprouts a vicious beard of B. Blessed proportions>

    Naw, they've released a new version of Vegemite that's blended with cream cheese. It's... it tastes kinda like vegemite, but it's very inoffensive. Like Christian rock. I don't like it much, I prefer my spreads with actual bite.

    Also, ditto on Lord of the Fries. When I want a meat burger fit for a king I head to Miss Libertines or Grill'd, but when I want something healthy and cheap it's always LotF for me. So, so tasty.

    KqOm9Bt.jpg
  • SerpentSerpent Sometimes Vancouver, BC, sometimes Brisbane, QLDRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    My colleague told me that it's ok to eat vegemite straight

    I'm still planning how to get him back

  • theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Serpent wrote: »
    My colleague told me that it's ok to eat vegemite straight

    I'm still planning how to get him back

    Has he ever had wasabi?

    Tell him you'd give him $5 to eat a packet of that. Tell him its just a stronger version of horseradish.

    Worked on my friend like a charm.

    Mythbusters once cut a car in half and drove around in it to see if it would run. Even they were less poorly conveyed.
  • TrentusTrentus Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    theSquid wrote: »
    Serpent wrote: »
    My colleague told me that it's ok to eat vegemite straight

    I'm still planning how to get him back

    Has he ever had wasabi?

    Tell him you'd give him $5 to eat a packet of that. Tell him its just a stronger version of horseradish.

    Worked on my friend like a charm.

    I told my friend it was a Japanese sweet. However, before gaining her trust she wanted to watch me eat some. A small price to pay.

  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I want to live in Melbourne. Jealous. Go to as many bars as possible would be my advice. Cookie has the most amazing cocktails I've ever consumed.

  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 a.k.a. Nubmonger/Antaeus#1352, 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion Oakland, CARegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    OP has been updated. You guys have been awesome!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
  • VivixenneVivixenne aDAWRable! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    my first question would be will you be driving while in Melbourne?

  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 a.k.a. Nubmonger/Antaeus#1352, 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion Oakland, CARegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Good question!

    I won't have a car, so no driving. I also don't plan on doing any cooking.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
  • revolutionary beanrevolutionary bean Registered User
    edited September 2009
    VB isn't THAT bad, I have a case of em sitting in the fridge right now.. (granted it's been sitting there for a coupla weeks untouched)

    What do you guys think of MB?

  • simonwolfsimonwolf DEHUMANIZE YOURSELF AND FACE TO BLOODSHEDRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Listen, Australia has some damn fine beer, you don't need to resort to drinking piss like Carlton or VB. James Squire produces some of the best beer I've ever had, and I'm a man who has travelled the world samplin' beer.

    Also, desperaterobots is right - I used to work as a bartender at Cookie, and they really do some of the best cocktails you'll ever have.

    I live in Melbourne, by the way, so if you ever need a tour guide, let me know! I will show you exactly one thing that Melbourne has, and we will be done for the day. Then we start drinking.

    Uj3Ujoh.jpg
  • VivixenneVivixenne aDAWRable! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Good question!

    I won't have a car, so no driving. I also don't plan on doing any cooking.

    your priority then would be to find a place close to all sorts of public transportation

    train stations, tram lines, and buses

    I don't know Melbourne at all but if any of those locations are particularly close to transport, I'd put that high on my list of preferences

    plus any location that is walking distance from where you can buy groceries, stop at the post office, etc... those would be good too

  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    blah wrote: »
    Adelaide is a crazy beautiful and amazing city. But that being said, there is nothing of interest here unless you know some locals who are willing to take you about. Otherwise its just a smaller, shittier Melbourne/Sydney/Brisbane/Perth. On the bright side we totally trump Canberra. That place is a hole. It would take 300k a year plus a massive pension to get me anywhere near there.

    I live in Canberra, and say that this is just plain untrue

    I grew up here, and I can safely say that no, it isn't a hole. As for as crime goes, we are fairly carefree. We aren't the serial killer capitol of Australia for example.

    The road organisation is superb, getting around isn't much hassle at all. There are museums galore.

    The War Memorial, national museum, national art gallery, Questacon (which is ballin') and if you can get a hotel room near civic then you are set as far as nightlife goes

    sig-1.jpg
  • CyvrosCyvros Look behind you, a three-headed monkey!Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    As for as crime goes, we are fairly carefree. We aren't the serial killer capitol of Australia for example.
    Quite true. The homicide rate in the ACT over the past decade is around 1 in 100,000, compared to 3-4 in Victoria and about 11 in the Northern Territory.

    As a few people have pointed out already, be prepared for all sorts of weather. Earlier in the week, I was wearing just a polo and a jacket. Today? Not long ago, I was wearing thermals, pyjamas, a dressing gown, a scarf, gloves and a pea coat. Obviously, that's quite extreme (I need more body fat on me :D), but the point is that the weather can vary incredibly in a short time.

  • KalkinoKalkino Buttons Londres Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I am jealous, winter is getting close here in the North. I don't know how long it will take me to get used to the idea of winter being at the end of the year and summer not being Christmas:(

    Freedom for the Northern Isles!
  • The CatThe Cat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2009
    hmmm. Your first choice is kind of fugly, but the bedroom seems larger than the others and you've got a guaranteed bathtub. Our priorities may differ, though :P

    tmsig.jpg
  • ruzkinruzkin Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I would kill for any of those three locations. They're all about 10 mins walk from every cool place in the CBD. Don't you dare complain.
    If you get the Collin's St address, then we're having a PA-forum housewarming.

    KqOm9Bt.jpg
  • TrentusTrentus Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Man, am I jealous of you. That's a tough choice... I think that personally, given the choice, I'd want somewhere with my own laundry. They're all in great locations, but having a top level apartment in the city would be so damn cool. I quite liked the look of the Russell Street place though.

    God damn I wish I hadn't come home this weekend... big motherfucking white-tale on the wall beside my bed... gonna be so paranoid about spiders being in my clothes and bed now...

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