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Why is shit so fragile in the Metroid continuity?

bluefoxicybluefoxicy Registered User regular
edited September 2009 in Social Entropy++
Planet Zebes: Blows up.

Planet SR388: Exterminate entire species (fail).

Planet Zebes: Blows up AGAIN.

Chozo colony on Zebes: Leaves before planet is invaded and subsequently blown up.

Chozo colony on Talon IV: Nearly destroyed, survivors leave.

Chozo colony on Elisa: Leaves for Talon IV.

Remaining Chozo: Gets the hell out of the galaxy, possibly to avoid a complete genocide of their own race, which isn't doing so hot despite possessing the most advanced technology and societal structure (fuck you, Alimbic) in the universe and multi-planet/multi-system colonization.

AI race on Elisa: Complete genocide.

Bryyonnian race on Bryyo: Complete genocide of entire sentient race, devolved savages remain.

Luminoth: Space-faring, yet complete genocide except for about 12 in stasis plus 1 (U-Mos) left awake.

Ing: Complete genocide.

All Phazon-based life: Complete genocide.

Alimbic: Space-faring race inhabiting multiple planets, yet Complete genocide.

X-Parasite: Complete genocide.

SR388: We're back. This time, blow up the whole fucking planet. Complete genocide of everything.

What the hell?!

People call me Wood Man, 'cause I always got wood.
bluefoxicy on

Posts

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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    samus aran's suit is made from pure panda

    Nuzak on
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    Ginger MijangoGinger Mijango Don't you open that Trap Door!Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Nuzaks face is made from pure ugly.

    Ginger Mijango on
    Steam
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    bluefoxicybluefoxicy Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Ginger Mijango wrote: »
    Nuzaks face is made from pure ugly.

    Careful he doesn't teabag you with his ugly nutzak.

    bluefoxicy on
    People call me Wood Man, 'cause I always got wood.
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    MagicPrimeMagicPrime FiresideWizard Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    The Galaxy is at peace.

    MagicPrime on
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    CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Getting the "Metroid is a rad dude" joke done early

    It is kind of funny that every single game ends with some kind of escape with a planet or something exploding

    I really need to get the redone Prime trilogy

    Crashmo on
    polar-bearsig.jpg
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Why is shit so fragile in the Metroid continuity?
    Because explosions are sexy. Almost as sexy as Chico.

    Platy on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Ginger Mijango wrote: »
    Nuzaks face is made from pure ugly.

    the last scotsman is in captivity

    the galaxy is finally sober

    Nuzak on
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    tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I never got into the metroid games

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Metroid is all about spite and hatred towards the fucker that took my copy of super Metroid when he moved and left me with the shittastic "Vortex"

    Fuck That Game.

    bwanie on
    Yh6tI4T.jpg
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    oh no

    a scotsman, he has latched onto my face in order to drain my life

    somebody get his bony mandibles off me

    Nuzak on
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    THEPAIN73THEPAIN73 Shiny. Real shiny.Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    tsplitter wrote: »
    I never got into the metroid games

    Me either and I gave it a legit shot.

    THEPAIN73 on
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    LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    i don't think it's that things are fragile so much as all things (great and small) are for some reason rigged to explode.

    Langly on
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    Ginger MijangoGinger Mijango Don't you open that Trap Door!Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Nuzak wrote: »
    oh no

    a scotsman, he has latched onto my face in order to drain my life

    somebody get his bony mandibles off me

    Clearly lies, no one wants your life.

    Ginger Mijango on
    Steam
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    The Sneak!The Sneak! Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Symphony of the Night is better.

    The Sneak! on
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    bwanie wrote: »
    Metroid is all about spite and hatred towards the fucker that took my copy of super Metroid when he moved and left me with the shittastic "Vortex"

    Fuck That Game.
    What a coincidence. My copy of Super Metroid actually belongs to someone else.

    Platy on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Ginger Mijango wrote: »
    Nuzak wrote: »
    oh no

    a scotsman, he has latched onto my face in order to drain my life

    somebody get his bony mandibles off me

    Clearly lies, no one wants your life.

    it beats haggis

    Nuzak on
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    tsplittertsplitter Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    wouldnt it be metroid mythos instead of metroid community

    tsplitter on
    FqmsaJ6.png
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    bluefoxicybluefoxicy Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Langly wrote: »
    i don't think it's that things are fragile so much as all things (great and small) are for some reason rigged to explode.

    Yeah but huge, powerful races are routinely victim to genocide. Chozo get almost totally destroyed. Multi-planet super psychic races get totally wiped out. Advanced species with space travel stay on one planet and destroy it and themselves.

    bluefoxicy on
    People call me Wood Man, 'cause I always got wood.
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    because samus aran is laura croft in a metal suit

    kill kill kill big tits big ass kill kill

    Skull Man on
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    GameGrrlGameGrrl Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    if you beat the game in under 15 minutes and without getting hit you get to see samus naked

    GameGrrl on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Sonwhat you're saying is that Michael bay is the perfect director for a metroid movie

    starring megan fox

    lostwords on
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    ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    The sequences in Fusion where you had to run like fuck while your vastly more powerful double chased you were terrifying.

    Butler on
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    RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    Sonwhat you're saying is that Michael bay is the perfect director for a metroid movie

    starring megan fox

    Megan Fox gives me such a wettie

    Redeemer on
    25jyxzr.jpg
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Megan Fox has a weird thumb. If anyone remembers.

    Platy on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Platypus Beirut wrote: »
    Megan Fox has a weird thumb. If anyone remembers.

    I don't want to stick my dick in her thumb, so it's a moot point for me.

    Hunter on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Butler wrote: »
    The sequences in Fusion where you had to run like fuck while your vastly more powerful double chased you were terrifying.

    oh god yes

    i was so scared to fight it at the end

    Nuzak on
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I played through Fusion three times in a row when it first came out. The controls are so slick and the game flows so well.

    Platy on
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    Ginger MijangoGinger Mijango Don't you open that Trap Door!Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Nuzak wrote: »
    Ginger Mijango wrote: »
    Nuzak wrote: »
    oh no

    a scotsman, he has latched onto my face in order to drain my life

    somebody get his bony mandibles off me

    Clearly lies, no one wants your life.

    it beats haggis

    Shut up, haggis is delicious.

    Ginger Mijango on
    Steam
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    bluefoxicybluefoxicy Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Platypus Beirut wrote: »
    I played through Fusion three times in a row when it first came out. The controls are so slick and the game flows so well.

    I did it in 4 hours first run.

    bluefoxicy on
    People call me Wood Man, 'cause I always got wood.
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