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How about some awful jokes
Posts
I
but
we're two separate people
he's even jailed
Conjoined at the pinky
Antimatter has been sitting outside of my cell for over a month and a half
At half time, Brutus finally arrived "Sorry I'm late," he said. "The wheel came off the chariot, and I couldn't get it fixed. How's the game going?"
"It's been a fantastic game so far," Caesar replied.
"What's the score, then?"
"Eight-two, Brutus."
"Guys I am working very hard on time cards today but if you don't keep your time logged it is literally going to drive me insane."
My email:
"Are you cold? Maybe you should have worn your time cardigan."
My Boss's email:
"Well, I would just turn up the heat but I figured you must be roasting seeing as you're about to get fired."
This place was actually the first place I heard that joke.
I saved it in a text file named "awful jokes.txt"
She was confused and asked me why they'd all be Asian.
I told her it was because nobody wants to be Wong.
I approve.
Boooooooooooooooooo
ok that's pretty damn great
we are listening to mitch hedburg right now
"i got a solution for sweat shops -- air conditioning. problem solved."
You'll rise and shine.
You'd get very sick and likely die a slow and agonizing death.
People would wonder why you were eating that combination of food
A bleached whale
A bear walks in to a bar and says to the bartender, "give me a drink." The bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve bears." The bear says, "well, give me a drink or I'll eat that woman at the other end of the bar." The bartender says, "psh, go ahead." So the bear eats the woman and asks the bartender one more time to give him a drink. The bartender says, "we don't serve bears on drugs." The bear, clearly dumbfounded says, "what? I'm not on drugs." And the bartender says, "that was a bar-bitch-you-ate"
tumblr twitter old people with tats
satan, check this wishlist's rims out
it is the Omega Joke, the joke from which all others were wrought
tumblr twitter old people with tats
satan, check this wishlist's rims out
tumblr twitter old people with tats
satan, check this wishlist's rims out
which is called the Omega Hare
tumblr twitter old people with tats
satan, check this wishlist's rims out
e tu brute
fuckin educate yourself
tumblr twitter old people with tats
satan, check this wishlist's rims out
e:beaten
There was a chicken farmer who lived in a village in China. One year, his chickens were afflicted with a strange blight that caused them to lose their feathers. The farmer was deeply concerned about this, because winter was coming, and, if the chickens had no feathers, they would freeze to death.
So, the farmer decided to consult the two wisest men in the land. First, he visited Mr. Hing, the renowned scholar. Mr. Hing leafed through all his agricultural and medicinal texts and pored over books and scrolls well into the night. Finally, he returned to the farmer and told him that, if he crushed the leaves of a gum tree into powder, made it into tea, and fed it to his chickens, they would be cured.
The farmer then went to Mr. Ming, the great seer. Mr. Ming cast stones, read tea leaves, and poked through entrails until finally he came up with the answer: "As surely as gum causes a shoe to stick to the ground, tea made from gum leaves will cause feathers to stick to chickens."
Now the farmer was ecstatic. The two wisest men in the land had given him exactly the same prescription. So, as soon as he returned home, he took some gum leaves and made tea from them. He mixed this with the chicken feed and fed it to his chickens. But it didn't work. The chickens continued to lose their feathers, and, with the onset of winter, they all froze.
The moral of this story: "All of Hing's courses and all of Ming's ken couldn't get gum tea to feather a hen."
you should educate yourself too
tumblr twitter old people with tats
satan, check this wishlist's rims out
Et tu
so......yeah nice try though
at least e tu is italian for and you
eu isnt anything
tumblr twitter old people with tats
satan, check this wishlist's rims out
Yeah but I wasn't correcting anyone and trying to feel superior about it.
More bad jokes!
Most people know the legend of William Tell and his unique method of making applesauce, but not many know that he and his family were championship bowlers. Highly skilled, their team was sponsored eagerly by local merchants. To have "Tell's Terrors" represent your firm was a great honor.
Even now, to be able to claim that the Tells once represented your family business would be of great advertising value. Unfortunately, the old records have been lost, and today we can't be sure for whom the Tells bowl.
well i did both
so i win
tumblr twitter old people with tats
satan, check this wishlist's rims out
well obviously we know who they bowl for
the tells bowl for thee
tumblr twitter old people with tats
satan, check this wishlist's rims out