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I've been pretty unhappy for the better part of the past two years. There's been a range of issues I've been working through--break-ups, deaths, surgeries, bad abroad experiences, etc--and I feel like I'm spending every week down about some new issue or another. This isn't a thread about depression, though. I had a stint on antidepressants for a year or so, but I was taken off them when they weren't really having any effect and it looked like things were turning up on their own. Anyways, I'm optimistic about where my life is going. I'm pretty sure things are going to turn up for me eventually, and in the meantime I'm trying all sorts of ways to get my mind out of the gutter and start thinking positively again.
This is a thread about what to do in the meantime, until I can sort my shit out enough where I'm not moping around a few times a week. I mean, everybody gets down from time to time, right? And normally it just helps to talk your shit out and complain. Two years ago if some new issue had me down, I might call up my mom, or my brother, or my girlfriend at the time. Unfortunately, my mom passed away last year, my brother has become distant, and I'm now single. I went through a phase a year ago when I tried to bond closer with my friends and let them know when I was going through some shit. But more and more they didn't seem particularly interested or caring or helpful or anything, and I just felt alone and unfulfilled. So I've stopped telling my friends about any of my depressed moods or whenever bad shit happens to me. It's gotten to the point where a few weeks ago an old friend of mine died and I felt like shit for a week but I just didn't tell anybody about it because I didn't want any of their half-assed sympathy.
This also isn't supposed to be a thread where I bitch about my friends. We get along great and we have fun when we hang out. They're just not interested in being an emotional crutch for me, and I totally respect that. And I don't want to find a girlfriend just so I can use her for emotional support. But sometimes I just feel like shit and I don't know where I'm supposed to go with it.
So I'm looking for suggestions as to how to channel those sorts of feelings and let them out, given that I don't have any people in my life right now that I can ever bitch to or anything. I kept a journal for a few months, and it helped, but I let it slide and stopped using it. Sometimes I go on drives by myself and try to talk my problems out aloud, but I feel like a creeper and it doesn't really help anyways. I've been to therapy, but I never found any real help there, and I suspect I'm looking for friendship, not therapy. I just want a few ways to cope with some shit when I get down. I really crave some interpersonal interactions at those times, but I don't really have anywhere to go with it and I feel guilty about using other people to cheer me up. Where do you go when tough shit happens to you? I've spent the past few weeks trying to figure out who I should've told about the friend that passed away, and I still can't think of anyone I could've talked to about it.
Any suggestions or personal anecdotes about what you do when something (e.g., an old friend's death) has you down but you're not sure who to talk to about it?