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It's a Family Affair!

Lost SalientLost Salient Z is for Zillahwho drank too much ginRegistered User regular
edited November 2009 in Social Entropy++
Much as some of you may have been excited to see a Sly & The Family Stone thread, this... is not it.

This is a thread devoted to something near and (sometimes) dear to us; something that drives us crazy, drives us to new depths of anger, and maybe drives us eighteen hours to see grandma every Christmas, too. Partially inspired by the approach of Thanksgiving in the U.S., and partially inspired by such sappy business as recent weddings and the movie Inglourious Basterds, this is the thread to talk about family.

Some people maybe don't get along with one or both parents, and in many cases this is totally justified. It is okay to not talk about them. Or maybe you can talk about them in disparaging terms.

I, personally, get along with my parents relatively well - well enough to have gracefully accepted this awful yellow sofa when they "donated" it to me years later:

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How about you? Hate your parents? Love your parents? Not know who they are? Or maybe it turns out that one of them is a Sith Lord, and your mom died at birth, but only your twin sister has any memories of her at all? Better not think about your sister when you're fighting your dad, then.

Speaking of siblings... got any? Or are you one of those strange alien creatures raised as only children, knowing only your own personal toys, never acquainted with the despair of "But I asked for that for Christmas!" I've got a brother I'm very fond of, who is currently the more well-adjusted of the two of us, and is at college in Arizona. I also have grandparents whom I admire more than anyone else in the world, and a variety of awesome aunts, uncles, and cousins.

The brother:
Spoiler:

The grandparents:
Spoiler:

How about you, SE++?



"Hey, Salient, you're a big penis in all the wrong ways. My family sucks and I have no good stories to share about my great-grandpa in the war. Also my sister punched my favourite pet cow in the face when she was 15 and the cow died and then she ran away to the Falkland Islands, thanks a lot for reminding me."

So maaybe you for one reason or another don't get along great with your kinfolks. Sorry to hear that! What've you got instead? Wife? Husband? Significant other? Downstairs neighbor whose every conversation is audible through your paper-thin walls? We all have people we're close to. I've made another sort of a family out of my friends from college; we initially bonded through mutual alcoholism, but thanks to youthful, innocent livers, we survived to become a group of semi-normal, mostly law-abiding taxpayers. Now we're spread all over the world, but we're still extremely close. I actually officiated the wedding of my freshman year roommate in September, and am proud enough of that to mention it here.

Tell us about the people who made you the way you are! Tell us your funny stories and your interesting histories and your shitty experiences with families. Tell them here... so that we may judge you accordingly.

(Also if people want to talk about Thanksgiving plans I am down for this.)

Lost Salient on
QuW2glN.jpg"Sandra's favourite movie is escape from new York because she cries when magpie and brain die because they will never be together." i read books sometimes
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Posts

  • T. J. Nutty Nub T. J. Nutty Nub Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    my mother doesn't give a damn

    and I broke her give a damn

  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User
    edited November 2009
    whoaaaa that's some unibrow


    i live with my parents so every day is thanksgiving

  • ZoelZoel Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    My mother lives in a ramshackle house that she was tricked into living in by her sisters. She can't take care of herself and packs shit upon shit upon shit, and doesn't do anything proactive about it. My aunts and cousins despise her as might be expected. When they argued over my grandfathers will, they ended up suing my mom and now she lives in said ramshackle to get back at them.

    I recently ran into one of my aunts at a book festival. She tried to hit me with a car once (not this time). When she asked me how it felt to cut off my family (yeah because I sued her) I told her it felt like it was five funerals I wouldn't have to bother going to. Six if her husband doesn't leave her.

  • FearghaillFearghaill Midgard I hear some secret agents only get cars.Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Salient, your grandfather on the right has a terrifying unibrow.

    Grandmother on the left was a pretty lady though.


    I just told my mother that she needs to get over her crazy grudge against my father and his family, or at least stop dwelling on it. They've been divorced for almost 3 decades, I barely have anything to do with them and she has nothing to do with them, and yet more often then not when I visit her, or when she meets someone new, she complains about them. She needs to let shit go, or at least not waste her time thinking about it.

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  • Lost SalientLost Salient Z is for Zillah who drank too much ginRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    There is a mighty unibrow that is passed around to varying degrees on my mother's side, it is true

    But I am not sure every day can be Thanksgiving if you don't watch football and eat stuffing, too

    QuW2glN.jpg"Sandra's favourite movie is escape from new York because she cries when magpie and brain die because they will never be together." i read books sometimes
  • ZoelZoel Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    you don't have to watch football as long as you're grabbing your crotch

  • BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Lost I had no idea you were 1/4th caveman

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • I Win SwordfightsI Win Swordfights fuck tough be coolRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I have a family they are the best family fuck your family

  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    my folks are awesome and my brothers are rad and my nephews are adorable

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  • YaYaYaYa Rick and Morty forever and ever 100 years! a100timesRickandMorty.comRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I love my family

    my girlfriend's family are all irrational crazybags of stupid

    her 18 year old sister chucked a fucking spaz at her family because Big W (kinda like aussie Walmart) asked her to work 4 4 hour shifts a week

    this is apparently an unacceptable amount of time, and directly cuts into her doing nothing

    also her mother's only solution to a conflict is yelling and acting like a 14 year old, and whenever my girlfriend or I express a relatively complex opinion we're dismissed as, quote, "uni students"

    yeah

  • ZoelZoel Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    imo if you can't fill a team for family feud you should just consider yourself an orphan

  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    would it be wrong to insult your grandfather and express a desire to bone you grandmother

    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • Lost SalientLost Salient Z is for Zillah who drank too much ginRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    But that fourth is the best fourth!

    It's pretty great now that my grandfather is older because it's all salt-and-pepper bristly

    Maybe somewhere down the line I'm related to Colin Farrell?

    QuW2glN.jpg"Sandra's favourite movie is escape from new York because she cries when magpie and brain die because they will never be together." i read books sometimes
  • BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    also I'm assuming that first picture is your parental units and your dad is totally rockin the shredded knees on his khakis

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • CptKemzikCptKemzik Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I am, in fact, disappointed that this isn't a Sly & The Family Stone thread.

  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    YaYa wrote: »
    I love my family

    my girlfriend's family are all irrational crazybags of stupid

    her 18 year old sister chucked a fucking spaz at her family because Big W (kinda like aussie Walmart) asked her to work 4 4 hour shifts a week

    this is apparently an unacceptable amount of time, and directly cuts into her doing nothing

    also her mother's only solution to a conflict is yelling and acting like a 14 year old, and whenever my girlfriend or I express a relatively complex opinion we're dismissed as, quote, "uni students"

    yeah

    go read an encyclopedia smartboy

    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • YaYaYaYa Rick and Morty forever and ever 100 years! a100timesRickandMorty.comRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Air wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    I love my family

    my girlfriend's family are all irrational crazybags of stupid

    her 18 year old sister chucked a fucking spaz at her family because Big W (kinda like aussie Walmart) asked her to work 4 4 hour shifts a week

    this is apparently an unacceptable amount of time, and directly cuts into her doing nothing

    also her mother's only solution to a conflict is yelling and acting like a 14 year old, and whenever my girlfriend or I express a relatively complex opinion we're dismissed as, quote, "uni students"

    yeah

    go read an encyclopedia smartboy

    actually it's spelled encyclopaedia

    wait

    touche

  • DarmakDarmak Godking of the Snerkywizards Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I love my family. I am very close to my grandparents who raised me and even though I hardly see either of them I love my mom and I love my dad and stepmom. I had an older brother who passed away 7 years ago and we were close as well. I also love my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. I even love my wife's family, her sisters and mother and aunts and grandmothers, though I've never met her dad.

    PIZTDhW.jpg
  • BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I get along with my mom infinitely better now that I only see her like every other month, as opposed to every day.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MoobertMoobert __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    YOU SHOULD TRY SLEEPING WITH YOUR SISTER

    -big mike

    andarphone.gif
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    excellent job Big Mike

    you're really showing us

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  • BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Moobert wrote: »
    YOU SHOULD TRY SLEEPING WITH YOUR SISTER

    -big mike

    you are awful at this

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    you ruined the incest thread

    so much wasted potential

    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2009
    Moobert wrote: »
    YOU SHOULD TRY SLEEPING WITH YOUR SISTER

    -big mike

    lol noob

    zappsigsm.jpg
    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
  • T. J. Nutty Nub T. J. Nutty Nub Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Balefuego wrote: »
    Moobert wrote: »
    YOU SHOULD TRY SLEEPING WITH YOUR SISTER

    -big mike

    you are awful at this

    That made no impact upon me

  • DarmakDarmak Godking of the Snerkywizards Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    See, I always felt like I was doing something wrong because everyone I knew growing up always fought with their parents or whatever and I always got along really well with my grandparents. Like, I'd sometimes just stay at home and chill with them and have a good time and shit. I still do that sometimes, I'll go over to their house and hang out and eat food or clean for them or mow their lawn or watch tv with them or whtaever.

    PIZTDhW.jpg
  • YaYaYaYa Rick and Morty forever and ever 100 years! a100timesRickandMorty.comRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Moobert stop suiciding

    do it quietly at least

  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    My mom still thinks that I am 8 years old, despite significant evidence to the contrary.

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  • WeaverWeaver send help pirates have meRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I'm at a very high risk of losing my second marriage. I'm beginning to suspect that while I may be a good man, and a good father, that I am a horrible husband.

    ProfessionalandCommander_zps6c326307.jpg
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User
    edited November 2009
    moobert, i don't have a sister

    please advise

  • MoobertMoobert __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    Weaver wrote: »
    I'm at a very high risk of losing my second marriage. I'm beginning to suspect that while I may be a good man, and a good father, that I am a horrible husband.

    SEEK MARRIAGE COUNSELING. IF THAT DOESNT WORK: SUICIDE

    -big mike

    andarphone.gif
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2009
    Weaver wrote: »
    I'm at a very high risk of losing my second marriage. I'm beginning to suspect that while I may be a good man, and a good father, that I am a horrible husband.

    What happened, duder?

    zappsigsm.jpg
    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    my immediate family is the black sheep of the family tree. My mom is kind of the rebel, all of my aunts are homemakers and are good at cooking and none of them have been divorced...how come I didn't get the mom that could not only cook but liked to?

    JKKaAGp.png
  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    My mom cheated on my dad 3 times while they were married including with her best friends brother so we moved to the other end of the state because it was a small town and people talked. She also drove drunk with me and my 3 sisters in the car when we were real little, I barely remember telling the cop that of course my mom wasn't drinking from that bottle and of course I'm sure. She then divorced my dad not long after he beat cancer and moved in her new bf right away who wasn't a bad guy and my sisters and I got to like him. So then this March my dad gets diagnosed for lung cancer and my mom decides to divorce my stepdad overnight and moves in with her new bf (one of the guys she cheated on my dad with) the same day I found out about my dad's cancer.

    After my dad passes away I have to deal with my older half sister who is a fucking dumb, cheap, greedy, manipulative whore and she keeps fucking calling about what she gets from my dad's estate while I'm trying to make arrangements for his cremation, the service, make sure my sisters still have health insurance and apply to be the estate executor. Meanwhile this bitch couldn't be arsed to call my dad after finding out about his cancer being back, or calling after he had surgery to remove since she couldn't be bothered to visit and then doesn't get in touch with him in the two weeks after the surgery before he died. So fuck her.

    Yea, aside from my two kid sisters I don't care much for what's left of my living family. I love my mother but god does she piss me off.

  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Faricazy wrote: »
    moobert, i don't have a sister

    please advise

    I'm an only child. I am at a TOTAL loss as to whom I should sleep with. Don't even have a family dog.

    sig_lambo.jpg
  • DarmakDarmak Godking of the Snerkywizards Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Faricazy wrote: »
    moobert, i don't have a sister

    please advise

    I'm an only child. I am at a TOTAL loss as to whom I should sleep with. Don't even have a family dog.

    Fuck your dad/grandad/stray cat

    PIZTDhW.jpg
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    dang that is some rough stuff VoC :(

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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    VOC I remember that story. That is a terrible story.

    I hope your older sister is getting a whole lotta nothing from that estate.

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  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Words

    That sucks VoC, I hope things get better somehow :(

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  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I have good things though like my younger sister got engaged last Feb and her fiance was able to talk to my dad about it since he wasn't sick yet. And then I was he,ping her plan a wedding for this fall but she decided to push it back when my dad got sick. And then she got pregnant so I have a nephew coming this February and a wedding June. I'm pretty excited about that.

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