Debate and Discourse: AWESOME POST in "The Worst Presents You've Ever Recieved/Given", by

OptimusZed

OptimusZed has reported a post.

Reason:

Because the mental image of this kid finding out makes me laugh so hard I can barely read the story through the tears.

I'm a horrible person.

Post: The Worst Presents You've Ever Recieved/Given
Forum: Debate and Discourse
Assigned Moderators: Elki, ElJeffe, Irond Will

Posted by: illirica
Original Content:

Okay, mostly I lurk around here, but my husband tells me I have to post this story.

It was Christmas. My little brother was about seven years old. He's in Boy Scouts, and both he and I are on a "save the environment" kick. My grandmother decided that, for Christmas, she would give him a wolf.

There was a program, in which you could sponsor a wolf - raised / partially raised in captivity, released into the wild, etc. So, she sponsored a wolf in his name. The company would send him pictures of "his" wolf, and updates on where it had traveled from the tracking collar, and so on. Potentially, this was a neat idea, but...

Two months later, his wolf was shot and killed by poachers.

The company sent him a letter, telling him this, in great detail. He was devastated. He had opened his envelope from the wolf company expecting a happy update and some pictures, and instead there was a long and horrible story about how his Christmas present was now dead, and how the coat had been cut from its body to be used in illegal fur products, and how x% of wolves met this horrible fate.

Oh, and would he like to sponsor another wolf?

D:

Hachface

You are terrible, Zed.

one star.

OptimusZed

Hachface wrote: »

You are terrible, Zed.

one star.

If it helps, I really only hate children.

Antimatter

thanks for sharing this sad story, jackass

Darmak

ahahahahaha, oh god

Ringo

I wonder if Christian Children's Fund sends out similar letters when the child you're sponsoring joins the latest local revolution.

You 'n me Zed. Against the world. Against the children.

Donkey Kong

From the grandmother who inexplicably gives her straight grandson a book on finding a husband to sitting alone in a cold apartment, penniless and forgotten by your family and friends, that entire thread is hilarious and heart wrenching in turn. Occasionally it's both at once, like here.

Marth

To serve wolf?

OH MY GOD

OptimusZed

Ringo wrote: »

I wonder if Christian Children's Fund sends out similar letters when the child you're sponsoring joins the latest local revolution.

You 'n me Zed. Against the world. Against the children.

"We are dismayed to report that Onalanakanachaka has been spending your generous gifts on ammunition and heroin."

Donkey Kong wrote: »

From the grandmother who inexplicably gives her straight grandson a book on finding a husband to sitting alone in a cold apartment, penniless and forgotten by your family and friends, that entire thread is hilarious and heart wrenching in turn. Occasionally it's both at once, like here.

It truly is a excellent thread.

freelancerbob

Call me cynical, but I bet the "sponsor the x" companies do this sort of thing all the time. You sponsored x? Too bad some evil men shot it, give us more money?

Leitner

freelancerbob wrote: »

Call me cynical, but I bet the "sponsor the x" companies do this sort of thing all the time. You sponsored x? Too bad some evil men shot it, give us more money?

It's not a one off payement, it's multiple so it would be like someone getting you to cancel a subscription so you pick up another one. Kinda pointless, and risks you not starting another one. Unless they're bored and looking to screw around with kids or something.

Ringo

And we all know where that leads

Dubh

ahahahahaha

A duck!

This is the best way to cancel a subscription ever.