When you're the best of friends...having so much fun togetherrrr
So we're here to talk about this stellar game:
It is the sequel to this game that is also stellar or less-than-stellar, depending on whom you speak to:
Some shamelessly stolen Wiki info!
What is the Assassin's Creed?
Assassin's Creed II is a third person action-adventure video game developed by Ubisoft Montreal and published by Ubisoft. The sequel to Assassin's Creed, it was released on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 in November 2009. A PC version is scheduled for release on 20th November 2009. The player assumes the role of a young nobleman-turned-assassin named Ezio Auditore da Firenze who is seeking revenge on the rival families that murdered his father and brothers.
1. First, do no harm
2. You do not talk about the Assassin's Guild
The Story So Far (Assassin's Creed 1 spoilers)
What's the deal with the DLC?
Assassin's Creed is the story of Desmond Miles.
A (presumably) twenty-something bartender, Desmond wakes up one day to find himself strapped to a metal table of sorts. He has no recollection of how he got there, but he is being held captive by two scientists - Dr. Warren Vidic and Dr. Veronica Mars - that work for a scientific corporation called Abstergo Industries.
Vidic reveals to Desmond that the scientific team at Abstergo has uncovered the fact that memory is stored in DNA. So when you die, your memory will be implanted somewhere in your child's DNA, you have your father's memories in your DNA, so on and so forth. This accounts for "animal instinct" in lower life forms, such as the migratory patterns of birds in the winter. Bad news for Desmond, they reveal that not only do they know that Desmond was raised since birth to be an Assassin, but he is also the descendant of an Assassin who knew information they considered vital. Seeing as death sucks pretty badly, Desmond has to comply and be hooked up to a machine that will allow him to remember the life and times of an ancestor in 1191 Jerusalem, an Assassin named Altair. (Editor's Note: Altair means eagle. So does Ezio!)
In Altair's memories, he's kind of a dick. There are three simple rules to being a good assassin (a creed, if you will) and he manages to horribly fuck up all three in the span of one mission and also fails to kill his target, but yet we are led to believe that Altair was valedictorian of the Assassin school. Anyways, he kills an innocent, is not very discreet, and compromises the brotherhood. He tries to be a cock and lie about it, but one of his clan members exposes him, and also brings the treasure that they were sent to retrieve, effectively upstaging Altair. In retaliation, the target who was supposed to be dead, Robert de Sable, leader of the Knights Templar, leads an attack on the Assassins.
The Assassins are successful in defending their home. However, to make an example out of Altair and punish him for his terrible behavior, his clan leader, Al Mualim, fake-stabs him for some reason but then tells him that he can make up for his transgressions after all. I never really got the whole fake-stabbing thing 'cause it's not like he secretly
let him live, all the Assassins you meet afterward are all like "Oh hey Altair! You're a pretty cool guy."
, Al Mualim is all like "Hey, there are nine bad men out there. Kill them and you'll no longer be a novice. Also you'll remember some of the physical abilities you magically forgot when I demoted you." Since Altair lacks a personality and doesn't really have much else to do anyways, he agrees out of sheer boredom. Altair traverses through the three cities of Jerusalem, Damascus and Acre, picking off the nine targets one at a time. Upon meeting their end, each has time to give lengthy speeches that sometimes bores to tears and always successfully freeze time; upon the instant of their death, time unfreezes and guards start attacking.
They all say vague, cryptic things, and when Altair confronts his master about this, he spits out vague, cryptic things. Upon assassinating Robert de Sable, his target reveals that Al Mualim himself is a member of the Knights Templar. Altair confronts Al Mualim with this accusation, who responds with a resounding "Well duh
." He then brings out the treasure that was retrieved (by the lesser student) in that first mission that Altair botched, and reveals it to be a "Piece of Eden", which is apparently good for mass mind control in addition to looking pretty nifty. Remember when Bright Eyes parted the Red Sea so that he could let his people go?
Impossibilities like that (also the ten plagues of Egypt and Clash of the Titans) were apparently caused by the kind of mind control this thing delivered, so obviously it was being fought over by these two powerful groups of Assassins and Templars. Tired of the manipulative dickery he had been subject to his whole life, Altair shanks Al Mualim and takes the Piece of Eden. At which point, a holographic map shoots out of it and shows the locations of the other pieces.
This is the memory that Abstergo was looking for. After they retrieve the memory, Vidic tells Desmond he was ordered to be killed, but Veronica saves his life by claiming that they might still have more use for his memories. Vidic reluctantly agrees, and Dr. Mars looks at you and bends her ring finger down, a gesture showing that she's on your side (Assassins in the old days would have their ring fingers removed because they were fucking hardcore). As Desmond is left alone, he finds that he has received a new gift; he knows kung fu. Not really, but he can see stuff in Dayglo vision, which is also handy, as it lets him see stuff that is incredibly well-hidden and also reveals enemies and allies. As the game closes, he goes back to his room with his newly acquired skill and sees the walls covered in a bunch of crazy shit: a bunch of symbols on the wall all alluding to the end of the world on December 21, 2012.
Basically, stuff that was cut out of the game for time reasons. Make no mistake - AC2 is a plenty full game even without said DLC, and the extra missions apparently have little bearing on the plot. They could have just abandoned work on these segments and never released them at all. Be grateful.
The first of the two packs, The Battle of Forli, will be available on January 28, 2010, for the measly price of $3.99 or MS Points, depending on your system.
The second of the two, Bonfire of the Vanities, has yet to be dated but supposedly is appearing in February. Expect a similar small price point.
Both are reported to be roughly a gig in size, so here's hoping you either have a PS3 or aren't stuck with one of those old 20 gig 360s.
Is this game better than the first? I hope they changed X, because X sucked in AC1!
Yes, and they most likely did.
Mark your goddamn spoilers
We are getting into Lost and Battlestar Galactica territory here, folks. People use spoilers for jokes, I get that, so please mark if you're going to use the spoiler tag for actual spoilers, MARK IT SO. If you're not finished with the game, better to operate on the side of caution and just not click tags anyways.
Also, no fake spoilers. Crazy shit is happening, shit so crazy that if you were to pop in and say "The Animus was created by Wal-Mart in a bid to make everyone buy Miley Cyrus CDs!", some might have reason to believe it. Note: As far as I know, the Animus was not created by Sam Walton.
Are you stuck in a certain spoilery memory?
There's a section where you play as Altair, and apparently some people don't know that Altair/Ezio is, in fact, capable of jumping straight up. Hold RT/R2 and press A/X and he will grab the small light fixture above and pull yourself up.
I heard there was a giant squid in this game? Is this true?
What the fuck sense does that make?
None at all.
Help me find the feathers and treasures!
GamesRadar has a pretty good guide up for both.
Really though, you shouldn't need a guide for the chests...there are in-game maps.
What about those glyphs? And the crazy puzzles within?
GamesRadar to the rescue again
, with glyph locations, puzzle solutions, and statue locations (again, you probably don't need that one either).