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Santa Claus: Do/Should you let your kids believe in him?
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If faith is just a silent tribute, mine is just a desperate act.
Hey, spoilers!
So when my daughter started growing skeptical ("Wait, how can he fit through the chimney when it's so small?" "What about houses that have no chimneys?" "Hold on, he goes to every house in the world in one night?") we asked her what she thought. Does it seem reasonable? Does the idea of Santa make sense? She decided it didn't, and we told her that no, Santa doesn't really exist. And at that point, we told her about St. Nicholas, how Santa was based on a real person who used to give gifts, showed her the Wikipedia page for St. Nick and different facts about him.
Funny thing - she found out before Christmas last year that Santa wasn't real. This year, she was really sad that he was made-up. She was upset that we told her the truth so soon, because it was such fun to believe in Santa. She's jealous of her brother, who still believes (well, as much as a two year old can believe in something), because he'll be able to enjoy the fun of make-believe while she has to know the truth. She wishes we'd waited another year or two to let her know.
A couple days ago, she asked about the Tooth Fairy - is she real? I asked her if she really wanted to know the truth. She said yes, she wanted the truth, but she also communicated that she really didn't. She wanted to believe a little longer. So I told her the Tooth Fairy was real. She was quite happy, even if deep down she knows that's not really true.
I think that a lot of kids are sort of like Maddie, in that they want a chance to hold on to these myths for a little while. They want the fun of make-believe, they want the mythology to seem real. I just also think there comes a time when the child is ready to know the truth, and that pushing for fantasy past this time is a bad idea.
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
This doesn't mean that there aren't other ways of entertaining and enthralling your kid's sense of wonder, but as a tradition I don't think Santa Clause is at all detrimental(of course it depends on how you play it).
And plus, what's wrong with liking materials! I love materials. Why, I use materials every day.
Bingo on the "Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus" editorial. Santa Claus was taught in our household as the spirit of giving, how giving is a good thing and makes people happy. We also participated in Toys for Tots and the charity drives that sponsored christmas for families in need, etc. Receiving feels good, too, but sometimes we receive the things we need (thanks for yet another sweater, Mom, we know you're cold natured), rather than the things we want. The spirit of giving is something to embrace and aspire to, and when we grow up we can become Santa, ourselves.
That and my dad is a tall white haired man with a big white beard, and has a red suit he brings out on occasion. I believe in Santa Claus because he's my dad, and he's delivered delight and joy and mystery to the children of my friends on more than one occasion. Our flower girl and ring bearer figured my husband was VERY good, because he got a *wife* this year.
Of course! As long as you also teach them about the Krampus.
If anything, believing in Santa as a child and then learning he's not real may instill more doubt and skepticism in a person. One may come to realize that sometimes people tell you things for good reasons, that are not in fact true. Sometimes those people even completely believe the things they are telling you.
Honestly I think Santa is a great intro to epistomology for kids.
Because presents have to cost a lot of money, and poor people can't give gifts?
I know. It shouldn't be till 100 or 111.
He does not want to tell his children about sexing.
If faith is just a silent tribute, mine is just a desperate act.
Well, that was when I had sex ed as a kid.
It's undoubtedly earlier for everyone else (I went to a Catholic private school till grade 6), I guess, so I'll probably answer when they have their first health class, basically.
What's this?
The answer I got a lot during childhood was that they came out of mommy's tummy.
Yes, poor people possess no happiness and only misery throughout their entire lives. It is their destiny.
Also, I'm 19 and I don't know what Calvinism is - I believe the risk of introducing your kids to it through the concept of Santa is miniscule.
Instead of basing their behavior on an actual, real human performing charity (i.e. you), you're giving them this mythological model who rewards good and punishes evil to aspire towards?
Sounds about right. It's pretty much a matter of timing it properly. Too early and the kid's unnecessarily disillusioned; too late and it gets creepy.
And then hope some other kid doesn't spoil everyone.
Having a little sister born when I was three, I had a pretty good idea where they came from, but when I asked 'how are they made,' my mom told me I'd learn that in high school. To which I said, 'ok,' that apparently being a perfectly adequate answer, although I actually learned the whole truth one day when I was nine, and saw a particular episode of NOVA.
Your soul-sucking cynicism would destroy magic spells before they were ever completed if they existed.
You're like a Dementor from Harry Potter.
edit: tl;dr - You kill wizards.
I don't see why you need to lie by omission in how children are born. I never really understand the need for a Santa Claus with a gift giving holiday either.
Of course, if I could determine how my hypothetical child would be raised and educated, I'd probably end up having him/her educated in a manner similar to how John Stuart Mill was educated so I'm not exactly an ordinary person when it comes to how I view children.
My daughter apparently told some other kid that there used to be a Santa, but now he's dead.
Good job, Maddie.
Special Bonus Off-Topic Anecdote:
"Yeah," she said, "like they might teach us what sort of things to stay away from cause they'll eat us, and I won't be there, and then I'll get eaten by a zombie."
She knows there's no Santa, but she refuses to stop believing in the undead.
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
I think it's pretty clear that your daughter is pioneering the "Zombie Santa" school of Christmas.
You have raised your daughter wisely, Jeffe. Undoubtedly her vigilance will serve her well in the coming mutant apocalypse.
We're beginning to prune her possessions, and trying to ween her of her desire for material goods (including asking my mom to not get more than 3 or 4 things per occasion), and it's been helping, but it's very easy to unintentionally raise a kid overly concerned with stuff.
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
I tried to come up with a number of different things to add to this, but really I think the letter does a pretty good job of explaining when a tradition is sometimes more than just a tradition.
I suppose this could have something to do with reality, but it's a hell of a stretch.
Then again, I was always told that just because I asked for it, didn't mean Santa would get it for me and so I guess I learned early what sort of extravagance wouldn't fly.
That is one huge glurge. Summary: We need to make shit up because the world would suck if it didn't. Childlike faith is something to be encouraged because of this. What a myopic view of the world.
I had that problem myself (by which I mean I was such a child myself), and it's one of the reasons my mother's side of the family doesn't speak to us at all. The weaning was a little tough, but it ultimately solved itself in a way. I became a fairly voracious reader, so I was mostly getting a boatload of books, which isn't nearly as worrisome, apparently.
Have you got Maddie into the habit of giving gifts in return yet?
We went that route, too - Santa won't get you everything you ask for. We also never really harped on the "unless you're good, you won't get any presents" bit, because we didn't like the idea of her trying to be good just so she'd get shit. We've always taught her to be good because it's the right thing to do, and because being naughty will make others sad, or lead to her getting hurt.
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
I loathe you and all your soulless brethren.
Who would want to live in Dumbledore's castle with no electricity? Shit, the wizards didn't even have a magical equivalent of television, let alone the Internet.
She loves to give gifts. Usually things she's made - cards or pictures or story books. She makes presents for people all the time, and currently there are half a dozen presents under our tree from her. She generally makes her own wrapping paper, too.
Last night she made a Christmas card for Julie that said, "Dear Mommy, I just want to thank you for all the wonderful things you do. Love, Maddie."
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
But they have jelly beans that taste like vomit. So, win? I guess?
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"