I would probably let my hypothetical kids live at home as long as they were actively progressing towards being independent. If they are going to a real school and getting a real degree, fine. If they are in their fourth year of community college or working some dead end hourly job because they flunked out, then I think it would be time for them to go live with their decisions.
So if your kids were doing fine on their own you'd help them out, but if they're having some problems in life you'd kick them out?
If my kids were being responsible I would help them out. If they were being fuck ups and taking me for granted, I would not. Part of being responsible is not flunking out of school.
Really with the whole in-law suite thing it comes down to the particular zoning office. Here in Virginia its not uncommon at all for there to be an accessory unit to a property. At the most it comes down to the ability of the home owner to rebuild in the case of destruction of the property. This is typically done by seeking a variance through the zoning department.
I see these things all the time in urban and rural environments. And don't forget, the zoning doesn't matter if the people building additional area are doing so without a permit with no real fear of being reported or caught.
Back to the topic, I am in a fairly precarious financial position that was brought on by having to find a place to live when my parents became unavailable. In fact I am still dealing with debt brought on by the sudden need to find new living arrangements. I take responsibility and don't blame my parents at all, but if I could have stayed with them even 6 months longer then things would be much different for me now.
I would probably let my hypothetical kids live at home as long as they were actively progressing towards being independent. If they are going to a real school and getting a real degree, fine. If they are in their fourth year of community college or working some dead end hourly job because they flunked out, then I think it would be time for them to go live with their decisions.
So if your kids were doing fine on their own you'd help them out, but if they're having some problems in life you'd kick them out?
If my kids were being responsible I would help them out. If they were being fuck ups and taking me for granted, I would not. Part of being responsible is not flunking out of school.
Because people only flunk out because they're lazy amirite?
Feral on
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
I would probably let my hypothetical kids live at home as long as they were actively progressing towards being independent. If they are going to a real school and getting a real degree, fine. If they are in their fourth year of community college or working some dead end hourly job because they flunked out, then I think it would be time for them to go live with their decisions.
So if your kids were doing fine on their own you'd help them out, but if they're having some problems in life you'd kick them out?
If my kids were being responsible I would help them out. If they were being fuck ups and taking me for granted, I would not. Part of being responsible is not flunking out of school.
Because people only flunk out because they're lazy amirite?
It's the same reason why we shouldn't have UHC. If they really wanted healthcare, they'd get off their asses and get a job.
Here in the midwest we can get by on one income just fine. The problem is the consumerist culture thats been bred over the years. Its amazing how much money i can actually SAVE when were not out buying crap all the time. The problem is no one can live within their means now a days. Im of the opinion that 50k a year in income for one family can afford a pretty cushy lifestyle as long as you're not trying to keep up with the Jones'.
Really? My fiance and I pull down nearly 100K a year. We own a house that we bought for 190K. We don't buy a lot of crap and neither of us has any CC debt (I do have student loans). It's still hard to save and get through the month sometimes because food/gas/utilities eat up a lot of our income. I guess the crux of it is that we live in MA where the cost of living is extremely high.
Here in the midwest we can get by on one income just fine. The problem is the consumerist culture thats been bred over the years. Its amazing how much money i can actually SAVE when were not out buying crap all the time. The problem is no one can live within their means now a days. Im of the opinion that 50k a year in income for one family can afford a pretty cushy lifestyle as long as you're not trying to keep up with the Jones'.
Really? My fiance and I pull down nearly 100K a year. We own a house that we bought for 190K. We don't buy a lot of crap and neither of us has any CC debt (I do have student loans). It's still hard to save and get through the month sometimes because food/gas/utilities eat up a lot of our income. I guess the crux of it is that we live in MA where the cost of living is extremely high.
Eastern Mass.
Out here we have a ridiculously low cost-of-living.
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HachfaceNot the Minister Farrakhan you're thinking ofDammit, Shepard!Registered Userregular
edited December 2009
My second two years of college I lived in an apartment with roommates. I paid the rent during the summer but my parents paid when I was going to classes. Right after I graduated I moved to Philadelphia, where for the past six months I've lived by myself in a studio apartment while working full-time.
It honestly wasn't the best idea. My job is entry-level and not that great; I barely make enough money to cover living expensives and service my debt, and I have zero savings. I have also had a hard time meeting people.
So I'm going to move back to the Boston area, which entails living with my parents for a while. Given the cost of living in east coast cities and the low pay of entry-level jobs, it really makes a lot more economic sense to stay with my parents until I've saved a decent emergency cushion. I don't expect to move in to my own place again for at least a year.
I think if someone has managed to get a job that they can at least potentially sustain themselves on, there's nothing wrong with living at home for a year or two to save money. In a lot of cases it's the best thing to do. I think there is a problem with someone being in their 20s and not at least progressing towards being able to sustain themselves. Being unemployed for years or working a low paying job without either going to school or looking for better work would be problems in my eyes.
I understand not everyone makes it through school and into a job on the first try, but the backup plan shouldn't be playing video games at mom and dad's house and complaining about how there are no jobs.
I would probably let my hypothetical kids live at home as long as they were actively progressing towards being independent. If they are going to a real school and getting a real degree, fine. If they are in their fourth year of community college or working some dead end hourly job because they flunked out, then I think it would be time for them to go live with their decisions.
So if your kids were doing fine on their own you'd help them out, but if they're having some problems in life you'd kick them out?
If my kids were being responsible I would help them out. If they were being fuck ups and taking me for granted, I would not. Part of being responsible is not flunking out of school.
Because people only flunk out because they're lazy amirite?
I think what he's saying is that it's not okay to let your kids sponge off you for their entire lives if they're not making the effort to improve the situation. There's a difference between having a hard time at life and just not trying. If someone quits college and/or is making no apparent effort to find a job that they can actually live off of, then why is it the parent's responsibility to care for them for their entire lives? You're not kicking them out into the wilderness to die, but you're not going to tolerate being taken advantage of indefinitely.
Here in the midwest we can get by on one income just fine. The problem is the consumerist culture thats been bred over the years. Its amazing how much money i can actually SAVE when were not out buying crap all the time. The problem is no one can live within their means now a days. Im of the opinion that 50k a year in income for one family can afford a pretty cushy lifestyle as long as you're not trying to keep up with the Jones'.
Really? My fiance and I pull down nearly 100K a year. We own a house that we bought for 190K. We don't buy a lot of crap and neither of us has any CC debt (I do have student loans). It's still hard to save and get through the month sometimes because food/gas/utilities eat up a lot of our income. I guess the crux of it is that we live in MA where the cost of living is extremely high.
Yeah, the cost of living differences are very dramatic. I college I made ~730 a month and saved up several thousand dollars over the course of 3 years. Living in philly I don't think I could find an apartment for that little, let alone live on it.
I had several friends buy 1500-2000 sqft homes for 60-70k. Larger if they were willing to live 20min outside of town.
Kistra on
Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
I think if someone has managed to get a job that they can at least potentially sustain themselves on, there's nothing wrong with living at home for a year or two to save money. In a lot of cases it's the best thing to do. I think there is a problem with someone being in their 20s and not at least progressing towards being able to sustain themselves. Being unemployed for years or working a low paying job without either going to school or looking for better work would be problems in my eyes.
I understand not everyone makes it through school and into a job on the first try, but the backup plan shouldn't be playing video games at mom and dad's house and complaining about how there are no jobs.
It's true in a lot of places at the moment. At other times it's not necessarily a valid excuse, but there are hundreds of people going for every job right now.
I think if someone has managed to get a job that they can at least potentially sustain themselves on, there's nothing wrong with living at home for a year or two to save money. In a lot of cases it's the best thing to do. I think there is a problem with someone being in their 20s and not at least progressing towards being able to sustain themselves. Being unemployed for years or working a low paying job without either going to school or looking for better work would be problems in my eyes.
I understand not everyone makes it through school and into a job on the first try, but the backup plan shouldn't be playing video games at mom and dad's house and complaining about how there are no jobs.
It's true in a lot of places at the moment. At other times it's not necessarily a valid excuse, but there are hundreds of people going for every job right now.
It's always tricky to talk about job openings vs. unemployment.
7 Mil. un/underemployed
4 million job postings (by a conservative estimate)
The issue is that the openings are in states where there aren't qualified applicants, such as in the nursing industry in one of the Carolinas.
There was a study, which I don't have now. I'll try to dig it up.
I think the important part is effort though. Even if the prospects are grim, are you making the effort to improve your life the best you can and eventually become independent? If so then you are welcome to stay at my house until you are able to. If you're just going to sit around and complain with no apparent desire to change your situation, then I can't support that kind of behaviour.
My parents let me live with them until I was able to get a permanent job and save up enough to comfortably live on my own. That doesn't mean they weren't pushing me to get a job during the year or so of unemployment I had to go through first.
For example.
I moved out when I was 19 to go to university. It marks the moment that I feel I became an adult. The responsibilities I had to take on, the skills I needed to learn - and the fun I had doing it all had a huge impact on me.
I'm about to marry an Indian girl, and have recently met a large number of men that have had an extremely different expeience. The times we've had good debates on the matter, have never been about physically living at home... Its about things like cooking. I have been laughed at because I can cook. By men who freak out when their wives leave for a few nights because they genuinely don't know how they will eat.
They laugh at me for doing "women's work", I laugh at them because "they can'y even look after themselves". Good times.
It's like the people who look down on someone living with their parents but what they do is immediately go from living with their parents to living with their spouse.
Personally, I think if it's possible then everyone should live alone for some period of time. You learn about all those little things that you never really thought about that are now your responsibility. You learn about how to take care of yourself. But I think most importantly you learn about yourself. What kind of things will you do when nobody is around? How will you spend most of your time? What do you really enjoy? Spending a couple of days alone when your housemate is away is very different than what your life would be like in a routine of living by yourself. It's a truly liberating experience.
Here in the midwest we can get by on one income just fine. The problem is the consumerist culture thats been bred over the years. Its amazing how much money i can actually SAVE when were not out buying crap all the time. The problem is no one can live within their means now a days. Im of the opinion that 50k a year in income for one family can afford a pretty cushy lifestyle as long as you're not trying to keep up with the Jones'.
Really? My fiance and I pull down nearly 100K a year. We own a house that we bought for 190K. We don't buy a lot of crap and neither of us has any CC debt (I do have student loans). It's still hard to save and get through the month sometimes because food/gas/utilities eat up a lot of our income. I guess the crux of it is that we live in MA where the cost of living is extremely high.
hence why i said Midwest. Mass. is way to expensive for its own good. If i made nearly 100k a year here i would live like a GOD!
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Moe FwackyRight Here, Right NowDrives a BuickModeratormod
edited December 2009
Cost of living in Cleveland is pretty low, compared to real major cities. Hell, you can practically buy a house for the price of a VCR. However, it's also a shitty place to live. I hope to leave this state for a better region, but pretty much anywhere desirable is going to involve a cost of living increase.
Cost of living in Cleveland is pretty low, compared to real major cities. Hell, you can practically buy a house for the price of a VCR. However, it's also a shitty place to live. I hope to leave this state for a better region, but pretty much anywhere desirable is going to involve a cost of living increase.
Chicago has close to the lowest cost of living of all the alpha-class world cities, and is way cheaper than New York or LA.
Cost of living in Cleveland is pretty low, compared to real major cities. Hell, you can practically buy a house for the price of a VCR. However, it's also a shitty place to live. I hope to leave this state for a better region, but pretty much anywhere desirable is going to involve a cost of living increase.
See, now why does everyone want to leave Ohio? Columbus and Cincinnati are decent. Sure, its not the most happenin state, but its not bad. Plenty of good places to live.
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Moe FwackyRight Here, Right NowDrives a BuickModeratormod
It isn't financially prudent nor possible for me to move out. I'm 32. My situation isn't necessarily typical, being that I'm living in my grandparents home. My grandparents live in Arizona for the majority of the year and my parents recently moved to the Phoenix area, as well.
My life is currently in fluxuation. I may join the military or I may apply to graduate school. The only certainty is that I'm indebted to them and very grateful for having a family that is supportive.
My only desire is to become more dependent and financially stable and able to provide my parents with the same monetary assistance that they've provided me.
Cost of living in Cleveland is pretty low, compared to real major cities. Hell, you can practically buy a house for the price of a VCR. However, it's also a shitty place to live. I hope to leave this state for a better region, but pretty much anywhere desirable is going to involve a cost of living increase.
See, now why does everyone want to leave Ohio? Columbus and Cincinnati are decent. Sure, its not the most happenin state, but its not bad. Plenty of good places to live.
This may be a topic for a whole new thread, but I've met people from all over the country who just don't feel fulfilled until they've got the hell out of the place they grew up in. At first I thought it was just "the grass is greener" syndrome, but as I grow older I'm not so sure. Some people really are happier if they leave their provincial hometown: even if that "provincial hometown" is Manhattan or Toronto.
The best place in Ohio to live is the Cuyahoga Valley, BTW. Columbus is fun and definitely a top notch city, if lacking a top notch skyline and the historical depth you find in some places, but the Cuyahoga Valley is like living in New England, without the Kennedys.
All I know about the Valley is that they have nice bars. Columbus seemed a bit too sprawling and Cleveland is well alright in parts. I don't have any experience with Cincinnati but I visited Toronto just to experience the city two years ago (my goodness time flies) and all I could think of while I was there was that I needed that sort of life.
But hey i'm still in canton ohio and hating every second of it.
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Moe FwackyRight Here, Right NowDrives a BuickModeratormod
edited December 2009
The best parts about Cleveland are the parts that aren't actually Cleveland (Lakewood, Cleveland Heights, Shaker Heights, etc.)
But we should probably get back on topic. (that leaving hometown topic does look like good new thread material though)
I haven't the time to read through eight pages of posts, but I will say that if you're still living with your parents during or after the age of twenty-five, get out.
Seriously.
Doesn't matter if you're financially stable or not, it's just something that you need to do.
I haven't the time to read through eight pages of posts, but I will say that if you're still living with your parents during or after the age of twenty-five, get out.
Seriously.
Doesn't matter if you're financially stable or not, it's just something that you need to do.
Needlessly declaring bankruptcy is something that people need to do?
It's like the people who look down on someone living with their parents but what they do is immediately go from living with their parents to living with their spouse.
Personally, I think if it's possible then everyone should live alone for some period of time. You learn about all those little things that you never really thought about that are now your responsibility. You learn about how to take care of yourself. But I think most importantly you learn about yourself. What kind of things will you do when nobody is around? How will you spend most of your time? What do you really enjoy? Spending a couple of days alone when your housemate is away is very different than what your life would be like in a routine of living by yourself. It's a truly liberating experience.
Sounds pretty shitty, actually. People like me thrive on other people. If I'm alone most of the time, I just...couldn't be.
I thrive on other people, but also things. If I tried to live alone, it would be in a small apartment - the type of place where I can't have powertools or make lots of noise. Essentially the type of place where it turns out I go completely stir-crazy even if I do live with someone.
Plus, my parents have a huge house by the beach so in every conceivable way it makes no sense to move.
The people that I have seen critisize other people for living with their parents are:
Older people, from a time period in which parents and cildren were much different. I.E. "Do what I say or I will beat the shit out of you with this here belt" or "You're 18, get the fuck out." These people typically HAD to leave as soon as they were 18 (read: got kicked out) and, well, misery loves company. They couldn't live at home while they got their shit together and they want you to get out there and pick yourself up by your bootstraps too, kiddo. They also lived in a time when one could get a decent job with no qualifications, when we had a decent manufacturing base. These people typically work/worked in steel mills and automotive plants. They have no understanding of the economy, job market, or college today. They just know "they managed to do it, and you should too, punk."
God damn, you just described my parents to the tee.
"Blahblah I had a job as an assistant manager within a week of quitting an old job and simply walking in the store."
Sorry, recessions fucking suck and it doesn't work that way anymore.
See, now why does everyone want to leave Ohio? Columbus and Cincinnati are decent. Sure, its not the most happenin state, but its not bad. Plenty of good places to live.
This may be a topic for a whole new thread, but I've met people from all over the country who just don't feel fulfilled until they've got the hell out of the place they grew up in. At first I thought it was just "the grass is greener" syndrome, but as I grow older I'm not so sure. Some people really are happier if they leave their provincial hometown: even if that "provincial hometown" is Manhattan or Toronto.
The best place in Ohio to live is the Cuyahoga Valley, BTW. Columbus is fun and definitely a top notch city, if lacking a top notch skyline and the historical depth you find in some places, but the Cuyahoga Valley is like living in New England, without the Kennedys.
I lived the fabulous like of a military brat growing up. Setteled in Ohio in '88. So i grew up here since i was 8 years old. I always said i would move away, but after never having family around when growing up, i enjoy being a few streets over from everyone.
But the thought of moving to Washington and Oregon are still in the back of my head. I miss the mountains.
I've been living on my own since I was 18 (I'm now 30). My fiance is 24 and still lives with her parents. When she went to college, she lived with her parents. She has never NOT lived with her parents. I'm a little concerned that there will be alot of adjustment for her when we get married and she comes to live with me, however it's also been quite a blessing for us.
She has a TON of money saved up as a result of living with her parents. In this economy, living with your folks just makes sense, from a financial perspective. Still concerned about her not having the experience of living on her own, but that sounds like a separate topic altogether.
Also, Dayton is a hole, and is going to suck more now that NCR is moving it's Headquarters to Atlanta. I feel for you, Hydro.
Dayton proper sucks pretty hard. The only reason I go there from time to time is becuase Childrens Medical center and Miami Valley Hospital rock. The Dayton Dragons have a nice ballpark to visit in the summer. And Spaghetti Warehouse is soooooooooooooooooo tasty.
The 'farmers' market is lacking and i prefer to travel to columbus for theirs. The roads suck, the people are ok... but theirs nothing there. NOTHING!
I worked for NCR back from 2001-2003. Im glad to see them go, even if we're losing those jobs. That placed sucked.
It's like the people who look down on someone living with their parents but what they do is immediately go from living with their parents to living with their spouse.
Personally, I think if it's possible then everyone should live alone for some period of time. You learn about all those little things that you never really thought about that are now your responsibility. You learn about how to take care of yourself. But I think most importantly you learn about yourself. What kind of things will you do when nobody is around? How will you spend most of your time? What do you really enjoy? Spending a couple of days alone when your housemate is away is very different than what your life would be like in a routine of living by yourself. It's a truly liberating experience.
Sounds pretty shitty, actually. People like me thrive on other people. If I'm alone most of the time, I just...couldn't be.
If you can't live with yourself, then that's honestly really sad.
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Moe FwackyRight Here, Right NowDrives a BuickModeratormod
edited December 2009
I think we need a separate thread for all this "Ohio/my hometown sucks" talk, if nobody gets to it by the time I'm done dealing with the bank, I'll do it.
If you can't live with yourself, then that's honestly really sad.
Asiina, some people are extroverts and actually like and get along with having people they like around. Horrors, I know.
Anyway, just to chime in on this discussion;
I live in an area where $50,000 is not enough money for an 'average' person to be completely independent. I get by on much less, but I don't have a lot of wants or needs.
I moved out of my parents house 3 months ago. I was in college from 18 - 22, then traveled from 22 - 24, and have been working from 24 - 25. I worked full-time from when I was 18 until I started traveling. I have been responsible for all of my bills except rent and utilities since I got back from traveling when I was 24. The reason I didn't move out at 24 was because my life was in flux; I wanted to keep traveling / working abroad but I didn't know what to do. Was I just going to pack up and leave again? Join the Peace Corps? Go to grad school?
By not making a choice I made a choice; to work full time and do nothing interesting. That lasted for a year, and I've been plotting my escape since.
Right now I'm the one of the only truly independent people in my social circle. I bought my own car, pay for my car and health insurance, pay my own rent, buy my own food and clothes, do all my own chores, etc. It's extremely common for people's parents to continue to help them out around where I live; paying for insurance, making car and rent payments, etc. Mostly because it's such an incredibly expensive area to live.
My parents (my mom at least..) was sad when I moved out. Since I am starting graduate school in January and will be stretched very thin, my mom wants me to consider moving back in, since it's the financially responsible thing to do.. and she loves having me around. I get along with them really well, or at least I have since my dad got really sick; he used to be a total bastard, like his parents, but has mellowed out a lot.
I never had a problem with girls and dating. My parents see me as an adult and as long as I respect their house and don't wake them up at 2AM bringing a girl home, they don't care what I do. Most women don't care about living with your parents around here, because... most people live with or are dependent on their parents well into their 20's.
The biggest problem with living with my parents- and the reason I'm glad I moved out- is that my parents live in the suburbs. Doing anything social required a long drive into the city, and a long drive home. I now live in a nice area, walking/biking/rail distance to everything my metropolitan area has to offer. My grad school is down the street, and my work is up the street. My commute is 10 minutes by car to work, 10 minutes by bike to school.
And that is why I don't see myself moving back in with my parents, in the suburbs.
Edit: though now I live with 4 other men, which was the topic of a certain "I'm going to kill my roommates if they don't clean up.." H/A thread. That's indicative of their not having grown up and still relying on their parents though..
If you can't live with yourself, then that's honestly really sad.
Asiina, some people are extroverts and actually like and get along with having people they like around. Horrors, I know.
Yes, because enjoying spending time by yourself is the same as being a shut in who hates having people around.
It's possible to both enjoy time alone and have a social life. It's pretty standard to think that someone who doesn't spend any time with anyone and prefers to be alone all the time has some pretty serious issues. I believe it also to be true that people who cannot stand to be alone with themselves and need others around constantly to be able to define themselves have similar problems.
If you cannot just "be" by yourself then I think that's really sad and I feel very sorry for you.
I wish I could still live at home. I'd have tens of thousands of dollars in the bank. I lived with my Mum for a few months before she moved overseas and saved a hefty wad of cash.
But I had to live a half hour drive from all my friends, in a suburb that has no character, few public transport options, lots of children, no local bars, no art scene, no late night supermarkets etc etc etc. And, you know, regardless of how juvenile it probably sounds, there's something about being told to tidy your room/walk the dog/put out the trash/etc when you're trying to wind down after work that really fucking sucks.
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If my kids were being responsible I would help them out. If they were being fuck ups and taking me for granted, I would not. Part of being responsible is not flunking out of school.
I see these things all the time in urban and rural environments. And don't forget, the zoning doesn't matter if the people building additional area are doing so without a permit with no real fear of being reported or caught.
Back to the topic, I am in a fairly precarious financial position that was brought on by having to find a place to live when my parents became unavailable. In fact I am still dealing with debt brought on by the sudden need to find new living arrangements. I take responsibility and don't blame my parents at all, but if I could have stayed with them even 6 months longer then things would be much different for me now.
Because people only flunk out because they're lazy amirite?
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
It's the same reason why we shouldn't have UHC. If they really wanted healthcare, they'd get off their asses and get a job.
Really? My fiance and I pull down nearly 100K a year. We own a house that we bought for 190K. We don't buy a lot of crap and neither of us has any CC debt (I do have student loans). It's still hard to save and get through the month sometimes because food/gas/utilities eat up a lot of our income. I guess the crux of it is that we live in MA where the cost of living is extremely high.
Eastern Mass.
Out here we have a ridiculously low cost-of-living.
It honestly wasn't the best idea. My job is entry-level and not that great; I barely make enough money to cover living expensives and service my debt, and I have zero savings. I have also had a hard time meeting people.
So I'm going to move back to the Boston area, which entails living with my parents for a while. Given the cost of living in east coast cities and the low pay of entry-level jobs, it really makes a lot more economic sense to stay with my parents until I've saved a decent emergency cushion. I don't expect to move in to my own place again for at least a year.
I understand not everyone makes it through school and into a job on the first try, but the backup plan shouldn't be playing video games at mom and dad's house and complaining about how there are no jobs.
I think what he's saying is that it's not okay to let your kids sponge off you for their entire lives if they're not making the effort to improve the situation. There's a difference between having a hard time at life and just not trying. If someone quits college and/or is making no apparent effort to find a job that they can actually live off of, then why is it the parent's responsibility to care for them for their entire lives? You're not kicking them out into the wilderness to die, but you're not going to tolerate being taken advantage of indefinitely.
Yeah, the cost of living differences are very dramatic. I college I made ~730 a month and saved up several thousand dollars over the course of 3 years. Living in philly I don't think I could find an apartment for that little, let alone live on it.
I had several friends buy 1500-2000 sqft homes for 60-70k. Larger if they were willing to live 20min outside of town.
It's true in a lot of places at the moment. At other times it's not necessarily a valid excuse, but there are hundreds of people going for every job right now.
It's always tricky to talk about job openings vs. unemployment.
7 Mil. un/underemployed
4 million job postings (by a conservative estimate)
The issue is that the openings are in states where there aren't qualified applicants, such as in the nursing industry in one of the Carolinas.
There was a study, which I don't have now. I'll try to dig it up.
My parents let me live with them until I was able to get a permanent job and save up enough to comfortably live on my own. That doesn't mean they weren't pushing me to get a job during the year or so of unemployment I had to go through first.
For example.
I moved out when I was 19 to go to university. It marks the moment that I feel I became an adult. The responsibilities I had to take on, the skills I needed to learn - and the fun I had doing it all had a huge impact on me.
I'm about to marry an Indian girl, and have recently met a large number of men that have had an extremely different expeience. The times we've had good debates on the matter, have never been about physically living at home... Its about things like cooking. I have been laughed at because I can cook. By men who freak out when their wives leave for a few nights because they genuinely don't know how they will eat.
They laugh at me for doing "women's work", I laugh at them because "they can'y even look after themselves". Good times.
Personally, I think if it's possible then everyone should live alone for some period of time. You learn about all those little things that you never really thought about that are now your responsibility. You learn about how to take care of yourself. But I think most importantly you learn about yourself. What kind of things will you do when nobody is around? How will you spend most of your time? What do you really enjoy? Spending a couple of days alone when your housemate is away is very different than what your life would be like in a routine of living by yourself. It's a truly liberating experience.
hence why i said Midwest. Mass. is way to expensive for its own good. If i made nearly 100k a year here i would live like a GOD!
Chicago has close to the lowest cost of living of all the alpha-class world cities, and is way cheaper than New York or LA.
See, now why does everyone want to leave Ohio? Columbus and Cincinnati are decent. Sure, its not the most happenin state, but its not bad. Plenty of good places to live.
I'd rather stay in Cleveland.
My life is currently in fluxuation. I may join the military or I may apply to graduate school. The only certainty is that I'm indebted to them and very grateful for having a family that is supportive.
My only desire is to become more dependent and financially stable and able to provide my parents with the same monetary assistance that they've provided me.
We're not Detroit.
The best place in Ohio to live is the Cuyahoga Valley, BTW. Columbus is fun and definitely a top notch city, if lacking a top notch skyline and the historical depth you find in some places, but the Cuyahoga Valley is like living in New England, without the Kennedys.
But hey i'm still in canton ohio and hating every second of it.
But we should probably get back on topic. (that leaving hometown topic does look like good new thread material though)
Seriously.
Doesn't matter if you're financially stable or not, it's just something that you need to do.
Needlessly declaring bankruptcy is something that people need to do?
Sounds pretty shitty, actually. People like me thrive on other people. If I'm alone most of the time, I just...couldn't be.
Plus, my parents have a huge house by the beach so in every conceivable way it makes no sense to move.
God damn, you just described my parents to the tee.
"Blahblah I had a job as an assistant manager within a week of quitting an old job and simply walking in the store."
Sorry, recessions fucking suck and it doesn't work that way anymore.
Hay, I live in the Dayton area. Columbus is a paradise.
I lived the fabulous like of a military brat growing up. Setteled in Ohio in '88. So i grew up here since i was 8 years old. I always said i would move away, but after never having family around when growing up, i enjoy being a few streets over from everyone.
But the thought of moving to Washington and Oregon are still in the back of my head. I miss the mountains.
She has a TON of money saved up as a result of living with her parents. In this economy, living with your folks just makes sense, from a financial perspective. Still concerned about her not having the experience of living on her own, but that sounds like a separate topic altogether.
Also, Dayton is a hole, and is going to suck more now that NCR is moving it's Headquarters to Atlanta. I feel for you, Hydro.
The 'farmers' market is lacking and i prefer to travel to columbus for theirs. The roads suck, the people are ok... but theirs nothing there. NOTHING!
I worked for NCR back from 2001-2003. Im glad to see them go, even if we're losing those jobs. That placed sucked.
If you can't live with yourself, then that's honestly really sad.
edit: here it is http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=108491
Now back to your regularly scheduled living with your parents thread
Asiina, some people are extroverts and actually like and get along with having people they like around. Horrors, I know.
Anyway, just to chime in on this discussion;
I live in an area where $50,000 is not enough money for an 'average' person to be completely independent. I get by on much less, but I don't have a lot of wants or needs.
I moved out of my parents house 3 months ago. I was in college from 18 - 22, then traveled from 22 - 24, and have been working from 24 - 25. I worked full-time from when I was 18 until I started traveling. I have been responsible for all of my bills except rent and utilities since I got back from traveling when I was 24. The reason I didn't move out at 24 was because my life was in flux; I wanted to keep traveling / working abroad but I didn't know what to do. Was I just going to pack up and leave again? Join the Peace Corps? Go to grad school?
By not making a choice I made a choice; to work full time and do nothing interesting. That lasted for a year, and I've been plotting my escape since.
Right now I'm the one of the only truly independent people in my social circle. I bought my own car, pay for my car and health insurance, pay my own rent, buy my own food and clothes, do all my own chores, etc. It's extremely common for people's parents to continue to help them out around where I live; paying for insurance, making car and rent payments, etc. Mostly because it's such an incredibly expensive area to live.
My parents (my mom at least..) was sad when I moved out. Since I am starting graduate school in January and will be stretched very thin, my mom wants me to consider moving back in, since it's the financially responsible thing to do.. and she loves having me around. I get along with them really well, or at least I have since my dad got really sick; he used to be a total bastard, like his parents, but has mellowed out a lot.
I never had a problem with girls and dating. My parents see me as an adult and as long as I respect their house and don't wake them up at 2AM bringing a girl home, they don't care what I do. Most women don't care about living with your parents around here, because... most people live with or are dependent on their parents well into their 20's.
The biggest problem with living with my parents- and the reason I'm glad I moved out- is that my parents live in the suburbs. Doing anything social required a long drive into the city, and a long drive home. I now live in a nice area, walking/biking/rail distance to everything my metropolitan area has to offer. My grad school is down the street, and my work is up the street. My commute is 10 minutes by car to work, 10 minutes by bike to school.
And that is why I don't see myself moving back in with my parents, in the suburbs.
Edit: though now I live with 4 other men, which was the topic of a certain "I'm going to kill my roommates if they don't clean up.." H/A thread. That's indicative of their not having grown up and still relying on their parents though..
Yes, because enjoying spending time by yourself is the same as being a shut in who hates having people around.
It's possible to both enjoy time alone and have a social life. It's pretty standard to think that someone who doesn't spend any time with anyone and prefers to be alone all the time has some pretty serious issues. I believe it also to be true that people who cannot stand to be alone with themselves and need others around constantly to be able to define themselves have similar problems.
If you cannot just "be" by yourself then I think that's really sad and I feel very sorry for you.
But I had to live a half hour drive from all my friends, in a suburb that has no character, few public transport options, lots of children, no local bars, no art scene, no late night supermarkets etc etc etc. And, you know, regardless of how juvenile it probably sounds, there's something about being told to tidy your room/walk the dog/put out the trash/etc when you're trying to wind down after work that really fucking sucks.