christmas in the ER (gross pictures on page 11)

World as Myth

last night I lopped off the end of my pinky chopping an onion with my new beautiful wusthof knives

we spent three hours in the emergency room

also I saw my own bone

now it looks like someone has sewn a pale white booger on the end of my finger, or perhaps like I am .04% zombie

tell me about your disgusting injuries or, better yet, make me feel better about ruining christmas by sharing how you have ruined christmas yourself

unintentional

Are you doing okay? That sounds really painful

Faynor

oh god gross

ahhh now I'm thinking about it AHHHHH

But, anyways, hope you're okay!

World as Myth

actually wusthof knives are so incredibly sharp that all I felt was surprise for a while

Fandyien

dear god

you should do infomercials for the brand

Marth

Sorry WaM. Sounds like you're okay, though.

Graves

I have what I would call a crevace on the tip of my right thumb, but it was 99% calloused skin so it didn't bleed too much.

I once tore my eyelid open on a sharp corner of a wall

I once got stabbed between my thumb and index finger with a 40oz bottle of malt liquor.

I once had my nose broken and a piece of my upper lip was torn and hanging down past my chin.

I once got a 5 inch gash above my right hip from falling on ice.

I once chopped off a chunk of my thumb cleaning a knife.

World as Myth

yeah I kept saying things to defend my poor knives at the ER

the doctor said I was the fifth knife-slicing-off-part-of-a-finger injury in a row that night, I guess everybody goes hog wild with new knives on christmas

Davoid

I got my aunt a wusthof a few years back

Satanic Jesus

Pics or it didn't happen

Spoiler:

seriously, don't post pics

Balefuego

dang WaM that sucks

I cut my thumb on a meat slicer pretty bad once, went right through the tendon and had to get that shit reattached to regain movement.

But I never cut off an entire section of a digit.

Did they give you percocet? They gave me percocet.

Monkeyfeet

I've tried to ruin christmas but I can never stop it from coming

Nickle

I sliced off the end of my finger a while back on one of those infomercial sliding chopping board dealies.

That was a thing. Didn't see any bones though.

So yeah, sorry to hear that.

This year, the worst I've done is fall on my ass. A lot. Like I forgot how to walk on snow/ice suddenly after 20 years of living here.

unintentional

If that happened to me I would absolutely forget that I shouldn't be typing with that finger every other word.

Graves

Nickle wrote: »

I sliced off the end of my finger a while back on one of those infomercial sliding chopping board dealies.

That was a thing. Didn't see any bones though.

So yeah, sorry to hear that.

This year, the worst I've done is fall on my ass. A lot. Like I forgot how to walk on snow/ice suddenly after 20 years of living here.

Word, I've been acting like I've never seen ice on the ground before.

satansfingers

my dad cut off the end of his pinkie at some point

bongi

one year i ruined christmas for my mum and my dad by telling them i'm gay

unintentional

a window fell on my dad's fingernail

PiptheFair

wam did you get those knives on my recommendation

plz advise

World as Myth

Balefuego wrote: »

dang WaM that sucks

I cut my thumb on a meat slicer pretty bad once, went right through the tendon and had to get that shit reattached to regain movement.

But I never cut off an entire section of a digit.

Did they give you percocet? They gave me percocet.

I got one measly vicodin, but they tried to send me out with just ibuprofen

I was like listen

redhead

augh, yuck/ow

if nothing else that'll make this an especially memorable christmas, though

Faynor

When I got vicodin for breaking my arm in fifth grade I kept telling everyone it was vagisil by mistake

unintentional

Faynor wrote: »

When I got vicodin for breaking my arm in fifth grade I kept telling everyone it was vagisil by mistake

ahahahahahahahahhh

Orikaeshigitae

kate, heather got these knives after this incident

i'm not sure if it functioned as a warning or a recommendation

Graves

When I couldn't run track because of my fucked up knees the coach told me to rub vagisil on them and to ask my girlfriend to please give me my balls back from out of her purse.

autono-wally, erotibot300

yeah, it may sound trivial, but really sharp knives are really damn sharp.. like, don't ever even think about forgetting about that fact while using them, no matter how long you've done it
still got a nice scar on my right ring finger from the one time I forgot

Graves

In the past few months I've gotten a good share of things stuck in my feet, from staples (the larger ones) to tiny nails to a huge nail that only pricked the bottom of my foot through my inch and a half thick timberland sole.

Airking850

Yep.

Roommate bought some Henkel knives a while ago and I'm cutting things and look down and oh hey my thumb is bleeding a whole lot

autono-wally, erotibot300

I always wanted a skate board
I BEGGED my parents for weeks and months to buy me one
then, after almost half a year of begging, I got one
Finally, my big day
I drove around for ten minutes before falling on concrete, tearing open my knee and elbow, causing scars still visible today
This was 20 years ago or so
Never touched that board again..

No Great Name

One time I busted open my lip and all the nerves were hanging out like bundled up pink floss but this wasn't on christmas

KetBra

That's pretty lame, WaM.

My uncle dropped a rather large knife point down, and it barely missed his foot yesterday. That was pretty freaky.

autono-wally, erotibot300

I guess you mouthed off a bit too much

No Great Name

That curb didn't like what it was hearing

Stale

I'm sorry Kate. Hugs.


One year I got shot right before Christmas, My mother had to come pick me up at the ER and since I was only 15, she had to explain to the Police that "these things happen to him a lot"

World as Myth

Orikaeshigitae wrote: »

kate, heather got these knives after this incident

i'm not sure if it functioned as a warning or a recommendation

hahaha this is pretty terrific

TheStig

Nickle wrote: »

I sliced off the end of my finger a while back on one of those infomercial sliding chopping board dealies.

That was a thing. Didn't see any bones though.

So yeah, sorry to hear that.

This year, the worst I've done is fall on my ass. A lot. Like I forgot how to walk on snow/ice suddenly after 20 years of living here.

Those things are made for slicing finger tips. I won't touch one without a glove or that plastic guard.

Rankenphile

awesome

you got a sick wicked scar for christmas?

that's metal as fuck

Arang

cut 3/4 the tip of my left index finger and it didn't even leave a scar

chicks dig scars

TheStig

pinky scars.

hell yes!

Rankenphile

gunna let you in on a little secret: bones heal, chicks dig scars and America has the best nurse to stuntman ratio in the world

WhiteZinfandel

Hmm.

It wasn't me, but two years ago my brother had a slow leak from his ruptured appendix from the beginning of December. He finally went in to the ER on... the 15th? Didn't get out of the hospital till the 23rd, and he still had a little drainage bag. One of the cards he wrote said "To Dad, From The Lame Horse".