In the first one, I was playing kickball late at night with some friends and my dad. We were playing it at the local school, and there were some indentations in the wall were the windows were.
My cousin happened to be hiding in one, and decided to walk out randomly while I was hauling ass. Instead of bowling him over, I instinctively turned myself. However, I went right instead of left, and to the right there was a brick wall.
So, basically, I ran into a brick wall and broke my arm.
The second one my dumbass stupid bitch of a neighbor pulled out in front of me on her bike while I was coasting down a hill really fast and I hit her, we tangled together and slid. Had really bad road rash and split my leg open and got like 7 stiches. There's still a small scar, and I can't really feel there.
Faynor on
do you wanna see me eat a hotdog
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
In the first one, I was playing kickball late at night with some friends and my dad. We were playing it at the local school, and there were some indentations in the wall were the windows were.
My cousin happened to be hiding in one, and decided to walk out randomly while I was hauling ass. Instead of bowling him over, I instinctively turned myself. However, I went right instead of left, and to the right there was a brick wall.
So, basically, I ran into a brick wall and broke my arm.
The second one my dumbass stupid bitch of a neighbor pulled out in front of me on her bike while I was coasting down a hill really fast and I hit her, we tangled together and slid. Had really bad road rash and split my leg open and got like 7 stiches. There's still a small scar, and I can't really feel there.
I've heard of falling for someone but that is ridiculous.
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
edited December 2009
where was the joke?
Weaver on
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
Oh here's another one: I was standing on a chair to read a thermometer because it was really hot and we wanted to know exactly how hot it was and whoops the seat bit fell out of the chair and I got a nail in my knee. Got a scar from that one, and a nearly matching one on my other knee from something I can't remember.
And that has just made me realise that I saw a swastika that some skinhead had presumably painted at the train station when I was really little and thought it looked cool (I was like 5-6 at the time). Hm.
I was playing tag with friends when I was in 4th grade. The local workers decided to lay a giant plank of wood across the dumpster near where we were playing. I was kinda moving backwards for a few steps and as soon as I turned around WHAM right into the plank of wood.
I was going pretty fast so I proceeded to flip up off of my feet and scrape the right half of my face across the board.
The corner of the plank was only about a centimeter from poking my eye out. And that's the story of my first black eye I hope you all enjoyed it.
We were visiting my aunt, who lived kinda out in the country at the time, and she had one of those downhill driveways. I meander out the front door and nobody stops me because it's 1983 in the middle of nowhere, Texas, what's he going to do, find an anthill in the front yard. I climb into the cab of my aunts pick-up and start pretending like I'm driving and it's a manual so I'm pulling and pushing on everything and whoops neutral.
Down the hill, across the street, through a farm fence, across a field and smack into a huge tree without a seatbelt.
We were visiting my aunt, who lived kinda out in the country at the time, and she had one of those downhill driveways. I meander out the front door and nobody stops me because it's 1983 in the middle of nowhere, Texas, what's he going to do, find an anthill in the front yard. I climb into the cab of my aunts pick-up and start pretending like I'm driving and it's a manual so I'm pulling and pushing on everything and whoops neutral.
Down the hill, across the street, through a farm fence, across a field and smack into a huge tree without a seatbelt.
I tried finding the calvin and hobbes strip where calvin does this but I can't find it. Imagine it is here though.
When I was a kid of say, 6 or so, I stepped on a rake in order to determine whether it would hit me in the head or not, as portrayed in Tom & Jerry cartoons. Smart, I know, but I was a kid and the TV made me do it.
I was barefoot.
It was a metal rake with the big curved teeth. Not like a leaf rake, but like for moving dirt around in the garden.
So I step on the dirty metal rake as hard as i can and watch for the end of the handle to come flying towards my face. The handles pops up an inch or two, and I look down at my foot, puzzled as to why the experiment didn't achieve the desired results.
I start screaming.
I managed to cut a huge gash in the skin between first and second toes. With a dirty metal rake.
My mom, who was about five feet behind me, gardening at the time, immediately jumps into action and gets me inside, cleans the wound, does some quick bandaging, and sets me up on the couch with my foot elevated so she can change her clothes befor driving me to the ER.
When she returns she tells me that it's time to go to the hospital and I need to get up. I was apparently in a bit of shock, because I told her to go with out me and I would be fine right there on the couch.
My mom tries to stifle a laugh and gets my step-father to carry me out to the car.
I got a bunch of stitches, but I don't remember much.
Dumb kid.
Same thing kind of happened to me, but ... opposite.
I DIDN'T mean to step on it - but I did - and it swung up and hit me, then it fell down and I tripped over it and fell right on top of it.
Doctors said I was very close to having a lung punctured. Missed narrowly, hoorah for luck.
are tetanus shots worse than meningitis ones? I can't remember how much the tetanus one hurt but the meningitis one was a motherfucker the next day and there were three of them.
are tetanus shots worse than meningitis ones? I can't remember how much the tetanus one hurt but the meningitis one was a motherfucker the next day and there were three of them.
the tetanus needle didn't even hurt, but the injection site feels like I got bitten by a snake or something
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edit - not like, her toenail. A hammer and nails nail.
that's about it for major injuries
I have been pretty fortunate
In the first one, I was playing kickball late at night with some friends and my dad. We were playing it at the local school, and there were some indentations in the wall were the windows were.
My cousin happened to be hiding in one, and decided to walk out randomly while I was hauling ass. Instead of bowling him over, I instinctively turned myself. However, I went right instead of left, and to the right there was a brick wall.
So, basically, I ran into a brick wall and broke my arm.
The second one my dumbass stupid bitch of a neighbor pulled out in front of me on her bike while I was coasting down a hill really fast and I hit her, we tangled together and slid. Had really bad road rash and split my leg open and got like 7 stiches. There's still a small scar, and I can't really feel there.
I've had one, but I don't remember it.
BWAHAH-I apologize.
but yeah, I've had one, but.. 4? sheesh,
Booooooo that was actually a pretty good joke boooooo
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
I've heard of falling for someone but that is ridiculous.
And that has just made me realise that I saw a swastika that some skinhead had presumably painted at the train station when I was really little and thought it looked cool (I was like 5-6 at the time). Hm.
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hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
I was going pretty fast so I proceeded to flip up off of my feet and scrape the right half of my face across the board.
The corner of the plank was only about a centimeter from poking my eye out. And that's the story of my first black eye I hope you all enjoyed it.
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
That got a decent laugh out of me.
We were visiting my aunt, who lived kinda out in the country at the time, and she had one of those downhill driveways. I meander out the front door and nobody stops me because it's 1983 in the middle of nowhere, Texas, what's he going to do, find an anthill in the front yard. I climb into the cab of my aunts pick-up and start pretending like I'm driving and it's a manual so I'm pulling and pushing on everything and whoops neutral.
Down the hill, across the street, through a farm fence, across a field and smack into a huge tree without a seatbelt.
Are you okay?
I tried finding the calvin and hobbes strip where calvin does this but I can't find it. Imagine it is here though.
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
k
But it's my cousin, you pervert
Whew, I thought maybe it was one of those things only I find amusing.
What?
It started bleeding...did it stop? Uh oh, I feel like someone's dad trying to be friends with their kids' friends when they come over for dinner.
What?
What?
What?
what?
Do they speak English in What?
Dammit, you got it to work, on accident.
Boy do I feel silly.
it's still sore
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I hope you heal quickly WaM.
the tetanus needle didn't even hurt, but the injection site feels like I got bitten by a snake or something
Onions are bulbs.