So - last night, a local forumer and I met up at a pub with about 6 of my friends. I will not mention names unless this person wishes to come forward.
Ha, right, so it was Darth.
Anyhoo. We meet at this English-style pub and Darth, sneaky weasel that he is, already has a hot chick that he apparently just met. Instantaneously, three things are very, very obvious about this girl:
- She's pretty goddamn drunk.
- She's fairly cute.
- She's dumber'n a bag of wet, hammered chickens
We shall, for sake of names, refer to her as Bluejay from here out.
Bluejay became a source of constant entertainment throughout the night. I am still trying to remember everything stupid that came out of her mouth, and my mind staggers.
We all caravaned to another bar, where Bluejay became even more inebriated, and at some point decided to move the party to our house. And that was where the real fun began.
ANYTHING you said to this girl, no matter what, transmogrified into something else in her brain. Seriously, seriously drunk AND stupid. Some gems:
ME: [walking staggering bimbo up front sidewalk to house] Okay, the rule is if you throw up in our house, we make you strip naked and roll around in it, ok?
BJ: But that would make my shoes hurt!
BJ: [watching capoeira video on a computer] Your wife does this?
BJ: Get her in here!
BJ: HAY MEL COME IN HERE AND DO CHUPACABRA
MEL: I can't do capoeira in here. This room is tiny.
BJ: How much space you need?
MEL: About three times as much space.
BJ: Well, scoot back!
[back porch, smoking with some of the partygoers]
BJ: [enters scenario] Brrrrr! It's cold out here!
ME: Yes, it is.
BJ: Too cold! [starts to go inside. It should be noted she gots some lungs, and is wearing a thin sweater]
ME: Hey, hold on. Stick your arms out like this.
BJ: [imitates Christ on the cross]
ME: Now jump up and down.
BJ: [Does so, boobies a-flyin around]
ME: Nah, you're not cold enough yet.
BJ: ......HA HA... what?
The one that we all thought was the epitome of just how dumb this twat was:
BJ: [VERY drunk, rearranging word magnets on fridge] Never...shave...a....ferret! LOLOLOL
ME: So what's your stance on ass to mouth?
[spoiler:602f482fae]BJ: Oh, I don't do drugs.[/spoiler:602f482fae]
All in all, Darthwaiter was a cool guy. A+++ WOULD BLOW AGAIN LOLOL
TL;DR= No, fuck you, learn to read, fag.