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I've never shit my pants
Houk the Namebringer
NipplesThe EchidnaRegistered User regular
NipplesThe EchidnaRegistered User regular
So I was rushing to the bathroom yesterday, rushing because I had a very urgent package to deliver. And as I struggled with my eternal twin enemies, Button and Zipper, I realized something. Outside of diaper times, I have never, in my entire memory, shit my pants. One time, my grandma thought I had shit my pants, but this was because I decided I didn't like the pants I'd taken into the shower with me and asked her to bring me some new ones. Rest assured, I had not shit my pants.
Now this might not sound like much, but I am personally very proud that I've managed not to let feces fall from my anus into my trousers (this is excluding isolated skidmark incidents). To a lesser degree, I'm also proud that I got a decent job right out of college and haven't had to rely on family, government, or blowjobs to pay my bills.
So SE++, what have you done or not done that you're especially proud of? Or are you just some no-achieving deadbeat, dragging your goldbricking ass through quiet beachside communities and not drawing water anywhere? Let us consider this the converse to the bitter failures thread, a place to stand exalted in your triumphs!
Now this might not sound like much, but I am personally very proud that I've managed not to let feces fall from my anus into my trousers (this is excluding isolated skidmark incidents). To a lesser degree, I'm also proud that I got a decent job right out of college and haven't had to rely on family, government, or blowjobs to pay my bills.
So SE++, what have you done or not done that you're especially proud of? Or are you just some no-achieving deadbeat, dragging your goldbricking ass through quiet beachside communities and not drawing water anywhere? Let us consider this the converse to the bitter failures thread, a place to stand exalted in your triumphs!
Houk the Namebringer on
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Posts
You are a lucky individual.
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom
fuck you faggot
nobody likes a bragger
but thats india
literally
one time i pissed and shit in my pants
to my credit i was too drunk to care
edit: also one time I peed in a sink
I pretty much shit my pants on the 4th of July a few years ago..
I had been at parties all day drinking shitty beer and eating hot dogs and whatnot.
I had prepared myself to be super drunk so I had been taking the bus all day. So at the end of the night came and I had to get home, I hopped on a bus and away I went. The only problem was that to get to my apartment by bus is a bit of a pain. I had a transfer and was waiting for the next bus, it arrives, I get on and find my seat and about three blocks later I realize that I have to take a massive crap.
Immediately.
But the bus is very far from my stop.
I find some way to hold this in until my stop comes, but when I get up to get off the movement slips a little. I waddle off the bus and have to make the eight blocks up the hill to my place. This was the most incredibly uncomfortable walk I have ever taken; I am sweating fucking bullets the entire way trying to keep my bowels from releasing like a breached dam all over myself and the sidewalk. I finally make it to my apartment, struggle with the key, get up the stairs to my floor, get down the hallway and struggle with the keys once again at my door, get in drop everything including my pants and almost jump onto the toilet seat.
Sweeter release I have never experienced.
I had to throw my underwear away.
who pees in the shower?
i do
disgusting
you're fucking disgusting and a horrible person
I had a really bad stomach virus back in 2008 and stuff was flying out both ends
I thought it had subsided but nope
when I made it back to the bathroom my mom was in there and I just couldn't hold it
poo errywere
you're peeing into a bucket under your desk aren't you
ever since I have been very concerned about this happening again and am very careful with my farting
kpop appreciation station i also like to tweet some
Yeah I've never been able to feel okay about that.
Yuck.
but people who piss in the pool need to be taken to fucking work camps
PEE AWAY! Sometimes, I'll turn on the shower and take a wizz INTO it while I'm waiting for the water to heat up.
what about in lakes or oceans?
I just...
I just can't.
I will get out of the shower and take a leak if I have to go really bad.
but that was in my house, and i made it to the bathroom just in time
uuugughhhh
case by case
~ugu~
even the fish?
definitely the fish
and let's be honest it has probably happened to all of us at least once.
I know that this scenario is unlikely, and possibly even impossible, but it still freaks me out.
Once I was dared twenty dollars to drink a glass of my own urine
it was salty but refreshing
MY WORLD IS A BETTER WORLD
WITH SIGNIFICANTLY LESS MARINE LIFE