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I've never shit my pants

HoukHouk NipplesThe EchidnaRegistered User regular
So I was rushing to the bathroom yesterday, rushing because I had a very urgent package to deliver. And as I struggled with my eternal twin enemies, Button and Zipper, I realized something. Outside of diaper times, I have never, in my entire memory, shit my pants. One time, my grandma thought I had shit my pants, but this was because I decided I didn't like the pants I'd taken into the shower with me and asked her to bring me some new ones. Rest assured, I had not shit my pants.

Now this might not sound like much, but I am personally very proud that I've managed not to let feces fall from my anus into my trousers (this is excluding isolated skidmark incidents). To a lesser degree, I'm also proud that I got a decent job right out of college and haven't had to rely on family, government, or blowjobs to pay my bills.

So SE++, what have you done or not done that you're especially proud of? Or are you just some no-achieving deadbeat, dragging your goldbricking ass through quiet beachside communities and not drawing water anywhere? Let us consider this the converse to the bitter failures thread, a place to stand exalted in your triumphs!

Houk on
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«13

Posts

  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    You've never had a shart?

    You are a lucky individual.

    tonksigblack.png
  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Chareth Cutestory Lawyer of the SeaRegistered User regular
    ...

    I'm sorry, I wasn't listening

    NqIEeKP.png
    Xbox: UnbreakableVows | PSN/Wii U: UnbreakableVow | 3DS: 1521-3241-9354
  • BogeyBogey Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    You finally popped your thread cherry! :o

    XBox LIVE: Bogestrom
    PSN: Bogestrom

    R.I.P. Wampa Milk
  • RoloRolo Registered User regular
    Houk wrote: »
    So I was rushing to the bathroom yesterday, rushing because I had a very urgent package to deliver. And as I struggled with my eternal twin enemies, Button and Zipper, I realized something. Outside of diaper times, I have never, in my entire memory, shit my pants. One time, my grandma thought I had shit my pants, but this was because I decided I didn't like the pants I'd taken into the shower with me and asked her to bring me some new ones. Rest assured, I had not shit my pants.

    Now this might not sound like much, but I am personally very proud that I've managed not to let feces fall from my anus into my trousers (this is excluding isolated skidmark incidents). To a lesser degree, I'm also proud that I got a decent job right out of college and haven't had to rely on family, government, or blowjobs to pay my bills.

    So SE++, what have you done or not done that you're especially proud of? Or are you just some no-achieving deadbeat, dragging your goldbricking ass through quiet beachside communities and not drawing water anywhere? Let us consider this the converse to the bitter failures thread, a place to stand exalted in your triumphs!

    fuck you faggot

    nobody likes a bragger

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    hi5 bro

  • AirAir Registered User regular
    my cousin moved to india a few years ago and has also spent considerable time back home since then and was able to regale us with a tale of shitting his pants in public at an age approaching 30

    but thats india

    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • ThatDudeOverThereThatDudeOverThere Ymir owns. He fucking owns!Registered User regular
    but have you ever played don't shit your pants

  • FoodFood Registered User
    I'm proud that I pooped my pants several times during the course of my life. I find that those who haven't pooped their pants are boring individuals who are afraid to live life to it's fullest and really let it all go.

  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User
    Food wrote: »
    I'm proud that I pooped my pants several times during the course of my life. I find that those who haven't pooped their pants are boring individuals who are afraid to live life to it's fullest and really let it all go.

    literally

  • the Professorthe Professor PONY ROMNEY DOES NOT CARE PONY ROMNEY WILL CUT YOUR FUNDINGRegistered User regular
    Food wrote: »
    I'm proud that I pooped my pants several times during the course of my life. I find that those who haven't pooped their pants are boring individuals who are afraid to live life to it's fullest and really let it all go.

    one time i pissed and shit in my pants

    to my credit i was too drunk to care


    edit: also one time I peed in a sink

    the professor is the best poster this forum has ever had hth
  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User
    i once shat under a foot bridge!

  • TonkkaTonkka Impossible! They were doomed!Registered User regular
    Oh man.

    I pretty much shit my pants on the 4th of July a few years ago..

    I had been at parties all day drinking shitty beer and eating hot dogs and whatnot.

    I had prepared myself to be super drunk so I had been taking the bus all day. So at the end of the night came and I had to get home, I hopped on a bus and away I went. The only problem was that to get to my apartment by bus is a bit of a pain. I had a transfer and was waiting for the next bus, it arrives, I get on and find my seat and about three blocks later I realize that I have to take a massive crap.

    Immediately.

    But the bus is very far from my stop.

    I find some way to hold this in until my stop comes, but when I get up to get off the movement slips a little. I waddle off the bus and have to make the eight blocks up the hill to my place. This was the most incredibly uncomfortable walk I have ever taken; I am sweating fucking bullets the entire way trying to keep my bowels from releasing like a breached dam all over myself and the sidewalk. I finally make it to my apartment, struggle with the key, get up the stairs to my floor, get down the hallway and struggle with the keys once again at my door, get in drop everything including my pants and almost jump onto the toilet seat.

    Sweeter release I have never experienced.

    I had to throw my underwear away.

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    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio!HEY SATAN!
  • the Professorthe Professor PONY ROMNEY DOES NOT CARE PONY ROMNEY WILL CUT YOUR FUNDINGRegistered User regular
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do

    the professor is the best poster this forum has ever had hth
  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User
    truthfully i would take "oh god it's going to blow" any day over "man my stomach hurts like hell and i FEEL it there but it would take a fucking jackhammer to get this shit out."

  • RoloRolo Registered User regular
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do

    disgusting

    you're fucking disgusting and a horrible person

  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    I shit my pants once

    I had a really bad stomach virus back in 2008 and stuff was flying out both ends

    I thought it had subsided but nope

    when I made it back to the bathroom my mom was in there and I just couldn't hold it

    poo errywere

    3DS: 3093 - 7107 - 5265 Steam: VALVeJunkie XBL/PSN: ValveJunky
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  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do
    everyone does.

    tonksigblack.png
  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User
    Rolo wrote: »
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do

    disgusting

    you're fucking disgusting and a horrible person

    you're peeing into a bucket under your desk aren't you

  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    I shat myself once a couple of years ago when I thought it was just a fart but no, phthththllthbtlbtl

    ever since I have been very concerned about this happening again and am very careful with my farting

  • TonkkaTonkka Impossible! They were doomed!Registered User regular
    Rolo wrote: »
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do

    disgusting

    you're fucking disgusting and a horrible person

    Yeah I've never been able to feel okay about that.

    Yuck.

    tonkkatrikesig.jpg
    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio!HEY SATAN!
  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    Callius wrote: »
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do
    everyone does.

    but people who piss in the pool need to be taken to fucking work camps

    3DS: 3093 - 7107 - 5265 Steam: VALVeJunkie XBL/PSN: ValveJunky
    m6eoUgQ.jpg
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    Tonkka wrote: »
    Yeah I've never been able to feel okay about that.

    Yuck.
    It's not like you're in a location specifically designed to clean you up.

    PEE AWAY! Sometimes, I'll turn on the shower and take a wizz INTO it while I'm waiting for the water to heat up.

    tonksigblack.png
  • ZephosZephos Registered User regular
    Callius wrote: »
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do
    everyone does.

    but people who piss in the pool need to be taken to fucking work camps

    what about in lakes or oceans?

  • DruhimDruhim Usagi's cuddlefish Registered User, ClubPA regular
  • TonkkaTonkka Impossible! They were doomed!Registered User regular
    Callius wrote: »
    Tonkka wrote: »
    Yeah I've never been able to feel okay about that.

    Yuck.
    It's not like you're in a location specifically designed to clean you up.

    PEE AWAY! Sometimes, I'll turn on the shower and take a wizz INTO it while I'm waiting for the water to heat up.

    I just...

    I just can't.

    I will get out of the shower and take a leak if I have to go really bad.

    tonkkatrikesig.jpg
    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio!HEY SATAN!
  • one time when i had some serious diarrhea i almost pooped my pants

    but that was in my house, and i made it to the bathroom just in time

  • RynaRyna Registered User
    Not only have I shat my pants, but then had to scoop it out of my underpants with my bare hands...

  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User
    uuuuuuugh


    uuugughhhh

  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    Zephos wrote: »
    Callius wrote: »
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do
    everyone does.

    but people who piss in the pool need to be taken to fucking work camps

    what about in lakes or oceans?

    case by case

    3DS: 3093 - 7107 - 5265 Steam: VALVeJunkie XBL/PSN: ValveJunky
    m6eoUgQ.jpg
  • RoloRolo Registered User regular
    Wallhitter wrote: »
    uuuuuuugh


    uuugughhhh

    ~ugu~

  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User
    Zephos wrote: »
    Callius wrote: »
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do
    everyone does.

    but people who piss in the pool need to be taken to fucking work camps

    what about in lakes or oceans?

    case by case

    even the fish?

  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Chareth Cutestory Lawyer of the SeaRegistered User regular
    What the hell is wrong with pissing in the ocean?

    NqIEeKP.png
    Xbox: UnbreakableVows | PSN/Wii U: UnbreakableVow | 3DS: 1521-3241-9354
  • i have a terrible bladder though, and am in constant fear of pissing myself while drunk or high

  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    Wallhitter wrote: »
    Zephos wrote: »
    Callius wrote: »
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do
    everyone does.

    but people who piss in the pool need to be taken to fucking work camps

    what about in lakes or oceans?

    case by case

    even the fish?

    definitely the fish

    3DS: 3093 - 7107 - 5265 Steam: VALVeJunkie XBL/PSN: ValveJunky
    m6eoUgQ.jpg
  • FoodFood Registered User
    I once tasted pee. I was pissing in a urinal and a drop bounced back and somehow landed in my mouth. It's really salty. What I'm saying is if you were swimming in the ocean and you somehow got a big mouthful of piss you'd never know it.

    and let's be honest it has probably happened to all of us at least once.

  • ZephosZephos Registered User regular
    I never spit in public toilets because i'm afraid that a microscopic line of spittle will trail down to the toilet bowl, then upon disconnecting with the main mass slingshot all sorts of nasties into my mouth.

    I know that this scenario is unlikely, and possibly even impossible, but it still freaks me out.

  • WallhitterWallhitter Registered User
    Wallhitter wrote: »
    Zephos wrote: »
    Callius wrote: »
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do
    everyone does.

    but people who piss in the pool need to be taken to fucking work camps

    what about in lakes or oceans?

    case by case

    even the fish?

    definitely the fish
    YOU FUCKING MONSTER!!!

  • the Professorthe Professor PONY ROMNEY DOES NOT CARE PONY ROMNEY WILL CUT YOUR FUNDINGRegistered User regular
    Food wrote: »
    I once tasted pee. I was pissing in a urinal and a drop bounced back and somehow landed in my mouth. It's really salty. What I'm saying is if you were swimming in the ocean and you somehow got a big mouthful of piss you'd never know it.

    and let's be honest it has probably happened to all of us at least once.

    Once I was dared twenty dollars to drink a glass of my own urine

    it was salty but refreshing

    the professor is the best poster this forum has ever had hth
  • VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    Wallhitter wrote: »
    Wallhitter wrote: »
    Zephos wrote: »
    Callius wrote: »
    Well well, look at us mature adult gentlemen, all discussing the last time we shat our pants

    who pees in the shower?

    i do
    everyone does.

    but people who piss in the pool need to be taken to fucking work camps

    what about in lakes or oceans?

    case by case

    even the fish?

    definitely the fish
    YOU FUCKING MONSTER!!!

    MY WORLD IS A BETTER WORLD

    WITH SIGNIFICANTLY LESS MARINE LIFE

    3DS: 3093 - 7107 - 5265 Steam: VALVeJunkie XBL/PSN: ValveJunky
    m6eoUgQ.jpg
This discussion has been closed.