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Conflicted Kitty Dilemma, needing advice and opinions (Updated)
Neyla
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So I have a dilemma. I am so torn on what to do and I feel bad for my poor little guy, but where do you draw a line?
The Situation:
7 years ago I got a cute kitten who I named Salem whilst I was married. As time progress my marriage fell apart and I was unable to take Salem nor did my ex want to keep him. So I managed to find him a good home with a friend of mine and life goes on…
Fast forward now to several months ago. I get a call from the pound saying they have Salem. I have long lost touch with my friend but with my current situation we could take in another cat, so off I went and saved his furry butt from termination. And that’s where this all started…
Apparently while on the lamb he must have ingested something that caused him to “stretch” his rectal track. So what happens is that his feces gets balled up inside him to a point where he can’t push it out. After many Vet visits he is now on a medication (cisapride) that he needs twice a day that speeds up his digestive track (in order to prevent his fecess from drying up and getting stuck in him) and wet cat food only. He also has a laxative for anytime he really having troubles (and man that gets ugly).
It’s been a trying experience. As we stand right now, he gets locked up in our PC room while we are at work (10hrs) and over night. We already have another kitty prior to this situation that is currently on a weight loss food and she refuses to eat wet. So in order for her to eat, we have to lock Salem up… plus, Salem still has some issues, meaning what he can’t do naturally, he’ll go to a nice quiet spot (like a couch, kitchen, etc) and pull it out of himself with his paws and tongue.
There is a 99% (as the vet put it) he will never be normal and will depend on the meds and wet cat food for the rest of his life.
We love Salem, and he takes his meds well so no issues there… with this being said we have had some life altering experiences where I became pregnant but due to unfortunate circumstances I lost the baby little over a week ago. It made us think more of the future. The PC room where Salem currently occupies most of his time would have became the baby’s room leaving Salem no where to be locked up. This leaves us the fear of feces being left around the house (not often but he has had his “bad” weeks), and that is NOT ok for either being pregnant or for a new born.
Not only that, his medical routines now restricts us since finding someone to come over 3 times a day (early AM, afternoon and evening). Leaving us unable to leave the house for more then day at most (no vacations for us). Plus, I feel so guilty locking him up but I on the other hand it’s too much to clean carpets and wash down the couch on a weekly basis. Plus it can’t be good for us.
Now my vet would rather keep on his medicine then surgery, but she looked into specialists in our area. Here our options:
Dr 1: Done this before, prognosis of 80% of being normal again. Cost $2,240
Dr 2: High reputable vet, have never preformed this on a cat therefore can not give an accurate prognosis. Cost $900, plus blood work etc.
I am not sure how many people can afford such things, but as we stand we can’t afford and have no idea when or if we will ever be able to. It breaks my heart that he couldn’t heal,, but even more so when he cries because he is getting locked up. It’s not a way to spend his life honestly, and then what if the surgery fails? He doesn’t get better? Is it fair for him or us to live this way? We do want a child, and plan to try in a couple of years but it’s hard to think where that leave little Salem?
I feel so conflicted.
So I am looking for thoughts and opinions from fellow animal lovers. The circle of people I have are very black and white so I feel thier opinion is very...oh what's the word.. insensitive? Thinking I should just put him down. Thank you in advance.
The Situation:
7 years ago I got a cute kitten who I named Salem whilst I was married. As time progress my marriage fell apart and I was unable to take Salem nor did my ex want to keep him. So I managed to find him a good home with a friend of mine and life goes on…
Fast forward now to several months ago. I get a call from the pound saying they have Salem. I have long lost touch with my friend but with my current situation we could take in another cat, so off I went and saved his furry butt from termination. And that’s where this all started…
Apparently while on the lamb he must have ingested something that caused him to “stretch” his rectal track. So what happens is that his feces gets balled up inside him to a point where he can’t push it out. After many Vet visits he is now on a medication (cisapride) that he needs twice a day that speeds up his digestive track (in order to prevent his fecess from drying up and getting stuck in him) and wet cat food only. He also has a laxative for anytime he really having troubles (and man that gets ugly).
It’s been a trying experience. As we stand right now, he gets locked up in our PC room while we are at work (10hrs) and over night. We already have another kitty prior to this situation that is currently on a weight loss food and she refuses to eat wet. So in order for her to eat, we have to lock Salem up… plus, Salem still has some issues, meaning what he can’t do naturally, he’ll go to a nice quiet spot (like a couch, kitchen, etc) and pull it out of himself with his paws and tongue.
There is a 99% (as the vet put it) he will never be normal and will depend on the meds and wet cat food for the rest of his life.
We love Salem, and he takes his meds well so no issues there… with this being said we have had some life altering experiences where I became pregnant but due to unfortunate circumstances I lost the baby little over a week ago. It made us think more of the future. The PC room where Salem currently occupies most of his time would have became the baby’s room leaving Salem no where to be locked up. This leaves us the fear of feces being left around the house (not often but he has had his “bad” weeks), and that is NOT ok for either being pregnant or for a new born.
Not only that, his medical routines now restricts us since finding someone to come over 3 times a day (early AM, afternoon and evening). Leaving us unable to leave the house for more then day at most (no vacations for us). Plus, I feel so guilty locking him up but I on the other hand it’s too much to clean carpets and wash down the couch on a weekly basis. Plus it can’t be good for us.
Now my vet would rather keep on his medicine then surgery, but she looked into specialists in our area. Here our options:
Dr 1: Done this before, prognosis of 80% of being normal again. Cost $2,240
Dr 2: High reputable vet, have never preformed this on a cat therefore can not give an accurate prognosis. Cost $900, plus blood work etc.
I am not sure how many people can afford such things, but as we stand we can’t afford and have no idea when or if we will ever be able to. It breaks my heart that he couldn’t heal,, but even more so when he cries because he is getting locked up. It’s not a way to spend his life honestly, and then what if the surgery fails? He doesn’t get better? Is it fair for him or us to live this way? We do want a child, and plan to try in a couple of years but it’s hard to think where that leave little Salem?
I feel so conflicted.
So I am looking for thoughts and opinions from fellow animal lovers. The circle of people I have are very black and white so I feel thier opinion is very...oh what's the word.. insensitive? Thinking I should just put him down. Thank you in advance.
Neyla on
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My family has been through this with feline leukemia. Some thousands of dollars for radiation treatment that will probably work. She ended up getting put down because we could not afford it, and being financially stable and able to take care of your human family is more important.
Not that we don't struggle with that decision. She was a relatively young and healthy cat. My mom still thinks about it. My cat passed away about a year ago, she needed to be put down, and that still hurts.
We're animal lovers. Every animal that has passed away has been like a part of our family. But if you cannot financially afford it, and you can't find someone to take care of it, and the cat is suffering miserably- and probably will be suffering forever- then you need to do some soul searching on what the best course of action is.
He walks normally, runs, jumps, plays and generally has a great time when he is around people.
He has a good appetite, loves to chase the other cat around and always gets into mischief.
If he was noticably in any form of pain I would pull back the tears and have him put down...
Really, I think his only really point of contention is that he is lonely when we aren't around and he is locked away from the other kitty.
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We always took out cats to get shots, vaccines, whatever. But at the first sign of anything that might require surgery you put them down.
Oh for sure! We intend to keep him as long as we can! We both love the little gaffer so much!
Also...
Cat thread means cat picture.
It is pretty disturbing that you are wanting a baby when you don't have $2200, though. You seriously need to rethink your finances.
Personally, I'd keep it. My pet Zeke had some serious medical issues when I adopted him. I got a credit card to pay for his surgery and paid the credit card off.
Your choice is to go with meds as is, get the surgery, or pass the cat off to someone else or have it put down.
I don't understand why someone has to attend to your pet when you're gone. I had to administer medication to Zeke as well. I'm also gone 11 hours out of the day but administered it to him when I came home and left.
Cat's don't particularly mind solitude nor being locked up for brief periods of time.
Personally, I probably would end up destroying the animal. There's really no guarantee he'll get better with surgery and I'm sure the medication is really expensive.
The only snag I see with this is that some vets won't euthanize an animal if they think he's "okay" enough. I would talk to your vet about what their policy is. There are many ways to euthanize these days, including home euthanasia performed by a licenced veterinarian.
Or they do have it but they're saving it for their (future) children instead of on an animal that may not ever recover.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis
We were the same, but then farmers tend to be pretty cold like that. We were that farm where your pets were sent to live.
But anyway, as Sheep said, you know your issues. There are several options that might save the cat but you cannot really afford them. Perhaps you could as an act of penance take on a rescued pet if you decide to terminate the cat. It doesn't make up for letting your cat die but it helps an animal and might help assuage guilt
There are not a lot of people clamoring to adopt cats with medical problems. In my mind, the argument that "you must be prepared to spend thousands of dollars on surgery/radiation/etc if you adopt a pet" doesn't hold much water when there are so many pets that need homes. There's a certain level of basic care that a pet owner is responsible for providing, but $900+ surgeries are far beyond that.
In my opinion, you have every moral right to euthanize him rather than to spend money you don't have, restrict yourself from taking vacations, and run the risk of an unhealthy environment for yourself and your potential children.
EDIT: I own two cats of my own, and my family has always had cats - just FYI that I'm not a cat-hater by a long shot!
That said, there are usually low interest payment plans available for pet care. Just ask the vet about it. I had a $2,000+ vet bill and the payment plan was the only way I could afford it. It ended up being pretty manageable.
Edit: But, if you really can't afford the surgery even with a payment plan... I dunno. I'd have to think hard about a lifetime a medicine. Maybe, in that case, it's better to put the cat down.
I'd be happy to discuss the question of how far a pet owner is morally obligated to go in medical care for the animal, but I think that's another thread. I think for the purposes of this thread, we'll have to agree to disagree - the OP can decide what she thinks of each position.
If this was addressed at us (neyla and I) then we conveyed our message wrong.
I'm actively looking for ways I can get the money for our little guys surgery. The reason we have not had him put down is that he is in decent shape aside from the issue he has with movements when he was not on his pills.
I don't agree with dumping animals off, which is why we drove 300 kilometers to pick him up when the pound half way across our province called us after picking him up.
The last thing I want to do is give him up when there is a chance he can recover.
What Neyla is attempting to say was should we get called away for a funeral or something away from town. We have no family to fall back on here to come give our little guy his pills when we are away. It's not a "it happens a lot" it's a "What if?"
I used CareCredit to pay for a really large vet bill. The vet I'd gone to had application forms there. The interest wasn't terrible, plus we had 12 months no interest.
You can kennel the cat and they have no problem giving him his meds. I have to do this with our German Shepherd Janie.
Well said, I was thinking the same thing.
If you find it disturbing then that is your own opinion. We weren't planning to have childern and never really seriously thought of it. Till about 1 week before xmas when I first found out i was pregnant. Usually after something like that it tends to start making you think more long term. So in a couple of years we would like to try again.
I suppose it is also fair to mention to date we already spent in and around $2,000 on little Salem without regret. The first month we got him back he was seeing the Vet every 2 days for constant monitoring and as the vet says "de-poop", plus trying various meds to get him regulated properly. That was all in November and mojority in December, you know Xmas time. Plus we also bought this house recently, and was in the process of trying to get it renovated (it's an old house, but the market had little options for us at the time) before salem was introduced back to us. Plus, when we sold our old house to move here (job transfer) the city decided to hit us with permits we didn't know existed that were 5+ years old that the old owners had and never did properly. Fortunately our realtor company helps us abit there since the man who help us bought the house was dying of cancer (was also the one suppose to look into the history of the house and tells of these permits).
Needless to say it was a fantastic year that hit us hard, and we a getting back on your feet while taking care of what we have now. We welcomed salem back into our home hoping to give him nothing but the best, as jaded said it was not some small trip to save him from termination. I was thankful I never changed my cell number after all these years.
So if this makes us horrible people for even considering a child down the road, then I'm sorry. We still are. Take as you will, but I degress on the child subject. I am still raw over the loss. Unplanned never means unwanted.
This was the mind set I was starting to have, and having troubles with coming to terms beacuse either route I go I dont want to regret. I need to know I tried everything first. I just don't want to end up digging too deep in the process. Thus knowing when to draw the line?
As someone mentioned, a payment plan. you know honestly that has never come up with the vet so I just assumed it wasn't an option. Perhaps on next check up visit I will discuss it with her and try to see Dr.2 for $900. My vet did really speak highly of him.
As for the kenneling, my only concern is will they take in a cat with a medical condition? And watch for signs on him as required? Such as sometimes he needs abit of a cleaning with baby wipes when his tummy gets upset.
Some vets will kennel animals, one here does and they just charge an extra 5$ a day for medications and such, check around your area. And don't let people bring you down, you had a huge emotional loss. Hugs and love to you for even having the cat on your mind at that time. Really. Just hugs and love to you in general.
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No-kill shelters are hellholes and the cat is better off with a quick death, instead of being left to rot underneath the cages of other cats with Feline leukemia, FIP, rhinovirus and christ knows what else.
They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
I agree. Thank you for your kind words.
I'd say this as well. I don't know if I could do $900 in one payment, but on a plan I probably could. I've seen what happens when you get too obsessed with your pet when I saw my aunt lose her marriage and then her house over trying to keep her cat alive despite vet recommendations to let the cat go due to it's multiple medical issues.
Yeah, $900 really isn't too bad in the grand scheme of things, especially on a payment plan. And also get insurance if they'll give it to him, that way you're covered in the future.
When a vet tells you it's time to let go for the animal's sake, for the love of God let go. Until then I agree that you should try to do everything you can if you love the cat.
Neither feline specialists offer payment plans.
Looks like it's time to cash in some stocks for our little guy.
Before you do that, look into a 12 month signature loan from the bank.
Originally I didn't think so either.
This morning put a new spin on things.
Usually when we wake up and see Salem he runs straight to the kitchen once somenoe grabs his food dish, purring and nuzzling the whole way.
This morning he was just so... listless. Walking slow, sniffing his food but not really eatting it and he only ate half of his food last night which is unusual for him.
I guess my next question is can cats be depressed?