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Social Entropy++: AWESOME POST in "OH SHIT GUYS I JUST WITNESSED A ROBBERY!", by GABBO GAB
ArtreusHey kids,want some drugs?Registered Userregular
So there I was, standing in the parking lot of 7-11, minding my own business with my slurpee and my red bull, when this car comes tearing ass into the lot. Immediately two masked guys leap out of the car, and run into the 7-11.
Now, 7-11, having big glass doors made it pretty easy for me to see what was going on. As I stood there, mouth agape I realized that my buddy Tibor was getting robbed. And I was witnessing it! I ducked behind the back of my truck because oh shit these guys had guns and ski masks and looked pretty fucking serious. So there I am, hiding like a little coward behind the back of my truck when the cops arrive.
All of a sudden there are like 5 cop cars in the parking lot, and as the cops begin pouring out of them they all draw their weapons and point them directly at the doors. The doors that I am in front of. So now I have dudes with guns behind me, dudes with guns in front of me, and oh god they want to kill each other. The guys robbing the place must have noticed the cops were there, because they weren't coming out, so the head cop picked up a bullhorn and shouted "Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Hey hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Go! Go! Go! You mixed up Siciliano. All you Calabrese do the mambo like-a crazy with the hey mambo! Don't wanna tarantella. Hey mambo! No more mozzarella. Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Try an enchilada with a fish baccala. Hey goomba! I love how you dance the rumba. But take some advice paisano learn-a how to mambo! If you're gonna be a square you ain't-a gonna go nowhere! Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano hey hey mambo mambo Italiano. Go! Go Joe! Shake like a tiavanna. E lo che se dice you get happy in the feetza when you Mambo Italiano! Hey chatrul! You don't-a have to go to the school. Just to make it with a big bambino. It's like vino. Kid you good-a looking but you don't-a know what's cooking 'til you - Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Hey hey mambo ! Mambo Italiano. Ho! Ho! Ho! you mixed up Siciliano. E lo che se diche you get happy in the feetza when you Mambo Italiano!"