Allright, in an effort to not screw up the game for everyone, I've really been trying to be careful during my turn.
The real challenge would be to carefully arrange being utterly crushed on turn 51 ;P
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Overwatch: TomFoolery#1388 Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
(Retired) GW2 Characters (Fort Aspenwood): Roy Gee Biv
(Retired) Let's Play: Lone Wolf
Will be giving you a nice detailed writeup with screenies in a bit, after I crop my screens and all that good stuff, but, short version:
- Shaka is dead
- The Chinese are cowardly dicks
- We are the top dogs in the world
- We have the highest population by a huge margin
- Our economy is stable (!)
PMing Smaug with File as well so he can get started on his turn.
I think the ideas are really good, but they need serious AI help and more efficient use of computing power.
Civ4 isn't multithreaded so there are serious limits on how powerful of an AI you can develop before even a decent computer will bog down. Hopefully Civ5 will work something like Chessmaster where the core game is one executable, but the logic engine/AI is separate one and can be spawned multiple times depending on how many threads your processor can handle. Could really put one of those new Core i7 hyperthreaded 6 core processors to the test!
The following are excerpts from the Memoirs of Roman Ticund (Ed.) aka, Roman the Unexpected. Next in line of the great rulers of the Ottoman Empire following the James Dynasty, where the Empire was ruled by a succession of Jameses who were cursed with extremely short life spans. The last, and most well known of the Jameses was James the 8091st. What follows is an account of unlikely events that saw the end of the bloody James Dynasty, and the beginning of a Renaissance for the Ottoman people.
I have written here for posterity my account of the unification of the Ottaman City States into the one united Arcadian Empire. I was born in uMgungundluvu, shortly after its conquest by James the 7023rd, a product of an illicit love between an Ottoman schoolteacher and a slave Zulu Elephant dungsmith. My upbringing was very difficult, as I was beset at all times by questions of how a foreign slave dungsmith could ever debase himself to copulate with a schoolteacher, as educators, at the time of my birth, were seen as nothing more than a drain on Ottoman society.
Tempered by the jeers of my peers, I set out to prove that there was value in education and spent most of my formative years studying the book at the the Great Mud library of uMgung.
As I came of age, it became clear that I was, by far, the most educated person in the city, took on the title of Master of Education (or Ed. for short) and began my career by teaching the local troops which ends of their sticks were the pointy ones.
Then, one fateful year, James 8091 himself, self-declared ruler of everthing he sees, arrived in uMgungundluv with a host of Elephants and his royal guard, to inspect his holdings and show them off to his entire extended family as well as his entire cabinet. As the foremost expert in just about everthing in uMgungundluvu, the militia (the only effective government in uMgung) elected that I act as representative of the town, and address the despot.
I spent time explaining the day to day happenings of uMgung, but the king was bored by my exposition. He interrupted me by asking "So, are you one of them smart guys?" I answered in the affirmative, at which point he asked "Ok, so, like, if I make you minister of smart stuff, will you stop talking to me?" I confirmed that I would. The despot responded with "Allright, done, so now go do whatever it is that you smart guys do and fix this country."
So, that night, at a special banquet, I poisoned James 8091, his entire family, and the cabinet.
It was clearly for the best.
As sole surviving member of the cabinet, I set upon my task of unifying the scattered city states that were once the Ottoman Empire.
First, a look at the world as we knew it in 1050:
As you can see, the Empire was vast indeed, but neatly divided by what remained of the Zulu, my ancestral home's holdings.
Out struggles with the Zulu date back for centuries, but, in recent years, the Ottoman people's love of pointy things and sticking those pointy things into squishy things had taught the Zulu the price of hubris, and the Zulu have been reduced to nothing more than a scavenger state. They even sell their own people as slaves to the Ottoman, from whence I was born. Aside from the Zulu, we have enjoyed lukewarm relations with our other neighbors in the past, as can be seen here:
Obviously, the Zulu hate us, but our brothers in faith, Churchill and Sitting Bull, like us well enough. The chinese, fellow Jews, are nonplussed. Hammurabi, together with his vassal lapdog Mansa Musa, appeared to be our greatest threat at the time.
I knew, that if the divided Ottoman City-States were ever to survive as a unified nation, they would need to settle down and start thinking about bettering themselves, rather than continuously seeking to destroy that which they did not understand, which was, at that time in history, everything.
The Ottoman Empire was enormous, and on the verge of collapsing under it's own weight. I knew that if I did not move to change the course of history, then Civil War would emerge, and the mighty Ottoman Empire would fall into dust. I could not let that happen.
One of the benefits of having a giant empire is that we have access to a variety of treasures and goods. One of my first acts as new leader of the Ottoman Empire was to order huge majestic elephants to carry large casks of Incense and Sugar to Hammurabi, so that he would know that he should just relax, rather than consider what a waste it would be for him should he decide to incur the wrath of the Ottoman. Hammurabi graciously accepted the gift and let our envoy off on his way. Needless to say, the Sugar we gave him was actually a special mix of my own design; a blend of sugar and the special Ottoman "Nose Candy". This gift to Babylon would be sure to keep Hammurabi and his people too complacent to consider invading. To be sure, the Elephants stayed in Asshatan, on our Eastern border, just in case.
The matter with Babylon settled for the time being, I set out to tour our lands. I expected to find ignorant bumpkins everywhere I went, as the Ottoman people never valued education or knowledge. What I did not expect was the sheer laziness of the people. In some cases, cities took decades to build simple Hammams. Apparently, it wasn't just the Babylonians who were partaking of the Ottoman Nose Candy. Luckily, thanks to my upbringing, I knew just how to motivate such people.
After a hard day of educating the masses on the finer points of lacerations, a pigeon came from the sky and landed on my shoulder with the following note.
The pigeon pie that night was quite delicious.
Upon my travels, I was unsurprised to see that none of the cities had what anyone would call, any sort of governing bodies. All of the Ottoman Empire's cities were basically nothing more than ghettoes, run by crime lords who misappropriated the Empire's funds for themselves. While the whip worked wonders as a motivator for the masses, stricter measures would need to be taken to shore up this corruption. Thus, I ordered cities across the Empire to begin enforcing THE LAW (tm). Before long, every city in the empire would have the means to enforce [strike]MY[/strike] THE LAW (tm)
Just as I was beginning to admire my work, I received word that there was a large bald man wishing to speak with me. Churchill, ruler of the English, far to the north, took issue with my offering to the Babylonians.
The Ottoman people have always kind of liked the English (Mostly due to the fact that they were far away and we never really needed to deal with them), but, it was clear that Churchill didn’t know what the hell was going on, instead, I gave him some cows to keep him from going home empty handed.
I knew that if the Ottoman Empire was to flourish, then the most educated would need to be uplifted and given positions of power. Ironically (to me, anyways) believing in a giant, flying, invisible old man in the sky usually meant you were better educated than everyone else. Thus I decreed that the leaders of Judaism be recognized as priests and begin work on enriching the masses.
With Priests becoming leaders in their communities, I noticed that things started getting done a bit faster (Editor’s note: Priesthood unlocks the civic Organized Religion, which causes cities who have your national religion to build buildings faster)
Next, an advisor brought me a report on what we knew about our neighboring civilizations, including a large birch-tree-bark report on Shaka Zulu. Remembering that the Zulu people were but a shell of their former selves and any information on them was practically useless, I ordered our spies out of Zululand for them to focus on our still threatening neighbors further abroad.
Over the next several years my focus was simple: The Ottoman empire was the largest and most magnificent Empire run by a group of functionally retarded people. This needed to change. While the Jewish clergy was doing a passable job of educating the people of the Eastern Ottoman Empire, the west, lands formerly held by the ancient and defunct Sumerian Empire, was neglected, as they still followed the venerable Buddhist tradition of their ancestors, which had been founded by the Zulu, my ancestors.
Since, however, the Ottoman Empire has taken the Holy City of Drakkar Noir, and its coffers were being filled with tithes from the faithful both within the Empire and without.
I was contemplating the spiritual future of the Ottoman Empire, when an envoy from the lands of Native America arrived at my doorstep.
Clearly, having Jewish friends could be profitable as well. I accepted the Native’s offer and continued to debate my options.
Several years later, as I was overseeing the nation’s finances, I received a curious note from one of our spies in China. The Chinese government had decreed that all Chinese people shared equal rights. A ridiculous notion, to be sure, but, just the same, if the slaves of the Empire were to hear of this… Bah, it is of no concern. If any slaves get uppity, we’ll either whip them in submission or shower their owners with gold and incense to keep them complacent.
Eventually, my attention turned to the oft-overlooked realm of New Arcadia, on a small continent far to the East, which once belonged to the Sumerian people. Our warriors there discovered a small village, forgotten by time, where the descendents of this ancient people had continued to propagate.
It was a simple matter for our warriors to destroy this village utterly, and claim its meager riches for the greater good of the Ottoman Empire.
I looked upon the great and vast Ottoman Empire and knew that my work had been good and righteous. However, all was not well in the Empire. The schism between Jewish West and Buddhist East was growing, unaided by the fact that they were, literally divided by the remnants of Zululand. If the Empire was ever to unite under a single banner, I knew what had to be done, but it would not be an easy decision…
But a decision had to be made.
{Editor’s note: Stay tuned for more adventures of Roman Ticund (Ed.) and his crazy Ottomans, after this message from our sponsors!}
The Death of Shaka Zulu and the Chinese Reveal their true colors!
And so it came to pass that I decided that if the Ottoman Empire were ever to unite under a single banner, any obstacle simply had to be removed, and the Zulu were, quite literally, standing directly in our way.
I sent an emissary to Shaka Zulu himself, demanding that he submit to Ottoman rule or be destroyed. The proud fool, of course, declined, leaving me with no alternative but to declare WAR!
I returned to my home town of nMgungwhatever, and took up the reins of an ancient Mastodon, whose dung my father smithed ages ago. Leading the charge, we marched upon Nongoma.
Nongoma’s defenders were unprepared for our assault, and practically just laid down and died.
Within weeks, Balawaya fell in a similar fashion
Zululand was broken, all that remained was to mop up the remnants. I ordered our army to split up in Balawaya, to lay claim to the rest of Zulu lands. The brunt of our forces to were sent to take out Nodwengu, to the Northeast, but our infiltrators had informed me that Shaka Zulu himself had escaped to the SouthWest, to a small frozen outpost whose name has been lost to history.
Nodwengu fell just as easily as the rest of Zululand, but there, in the South, is where our forces finally met a challenge. In their desperation, the Zulu had managed to fashion new bows, as tall as men, which could shoot twice as far as regular bows. Shaka Zulu’s elite guards were able to fell many an elephant before we could even approach. Shaka’s final struggle was valiant, and spurred me to seek an audience with him personally once we inevitably breached his defenses.
Shaka had been cowering in a hovel when I arrived. It shamed me to realize that I shared ancestral blood with this coward, who had been leeching off of Ottoman spoils for decades.
“You are a Zulu warrior” I told him. “We are both descended from a proud race! Is this how you wish to be remembered? Cowering in your own filth?
“You speak to me as though you are Zulu! You share our dark skin, but you are not one of us!”
“You’re right,” I said, with disgust “I’m an Ottoman”
And then I took his head.
I then said my goodbyes to my home town of uMgungahforgetit, to return to Arcadia, to attend to affairs of state. I arrived to find my people in a state of panic. I asked the local Warlord, a man by the name of Beef Breath (He really liked beef, apparently) what the commotion was about. He explained to me that, while I was away fighting in the Zulu Wars, the Chinese, to the north, had declared war on us!
I immediately demanded a report.
“Well um…” said Beef Breath
“Well, out with it, man!”
“Well, there’s… nothing to report”
“What do you mean? Have they raided the countryside, tested our defenses, anything at all?”
“Well no, not really, they have chariots that just pop in and out of our borders and taunt us.”
“Taunt us, yes. Um, here is the translation I’ve gotten from our priests: *ahem*
Yo mama’s so fat and old, When God said "Let There be Light", He told her to move her fat ass out of the way.”
“I… see… I’ll settle this, assemble my men!”
I took a cadre of elite swordsmen with me to our northern bastion of Buttsexawayo, to await the next Chinese incursion. Sure enough, the foolish chariots came too close, and our men set upon them like old, fat mothers on Ottoman Nose Candy cookies.
I brought the general of the Chinese chariots in for questioning. His final words were “My bad…”.
I considered punishing the Chinese for this insult, but remembered that, as savage as Ottoman Warriors are, they are also mostly retarded, and have to grasp of technology beyond “do not hold swords by the pointy end”. Matters of state had not yet been settled to the point where the Ottoman Empire could afford a war, so I sent an emissary to Qui Gon Jinn or whatever his name is and told him not to let it happen again.
Yeah yeah, we’ll deal with you later, buster.
To seal the deal, we made a trade arrangement. We had a surplus of wine and Incense anyways, and The Empire needed all the cash flow it could get.
To celebrate our ultimate victory over the Zulu and our tenuous peace with the Chinese, the city of Shaftsbury commissioned a great National Epic.
Peace had come at last to the Ottoman Empire, but things were not resolved as of yet. It would be some time before the rift between East and West would heal, even with the Zulu gone, and we could never let our guard down against the Cowardly Chinese and the devious Babylonians. But, for now, the people of the Empire had to come first, and I set out to prove, once and for all, that the Ottoman Empire would be the greatest nation history would ever know!
(Editor’s note: Stay tuned for our next edition: The Golden age of Roman Ticund, or, Ottomania!)
The principle issue dividing the Ottoman City states was that of religion. The founding lands of Arcadia had adopted Judaism, the faith first taken up by the peaceful Native American people which was imported into our lands. Ever since, the entire western hemisphere had taken up the belief that there was one, all powerful old man in the sky which told us how we should live. However, after the ancient Ottoman dynasties forcibly took over Sumerian and Zulu lands, culminating in the capture of Drakkar Noir, there have been conflicting schools of thought across the Empire over whether Judaism was the one true faith, of if the ancient Zulu religion of Buddhism was the true path to enlightenment. This, above all else, was what kept the people of the Empire divided.
The Native American people had built a building called The Apostolic Palace. A palace where affairs of religion, in this case, Judaism would be settled, and all adherents to that faith were expected to follow its edicts. Having been born in nMgungwhatever, I was raised under the Zulu school of Buddhism, and thus had little concern over the matters of invisible old men. It came as a surprise to me, then, when Native American emissaries from this Apostolic Palace came to me, petitioning me to vote for whom I felt would best be suited to propose sanctions in the name of all Jews.
Naturally, I picked myself and dismissed the envoy.
Imagine my surprise, then, when the envoy returns a few months later to announce that I had been elected to speak for Jews everywhere.
It turns out that my nomination was supported by that strange, fat, man, Churchill, and our voices combined was enough to convince the Palace that I should be the one to lead.
While I acted as de-facto despot for the Empire, my power was limited to suggesting edicts to the local warlords and clergymen, but day-to-day rule was left mostly to each state’s own self-imposed Warlords. In the end, I was still a low-born son of a schoolteacher and a slave. However, now that my voice had been recognized as an international authority, combined with my decisive victory over the Zulu, I noticed that the level of respect I was afforded by our people had begun to grow.
In fact, a local troubadour had already written a song about my exploits called the “Romance of Roman”, which spoke of my exploits. I enjoyed it so much that I had the troubadour and everyone he knew sent to the Nose Candy mines as slaves while I took credit for inventing Music.
Before I could even take the time to bask in the glorious music I had “created”, Churchill burst into my office with the following offer:
I yelled at him for breaking me out of my reverie and sent him home empty-handed.
My efforts were not unrewarded, however, as my scribes informed me that a new age had begun for the Ottoman Empire, and I, for one, was going to take full advantage of it.
At this time, a warlord by the name of William Melville, known for his cunning and prowess, came forward before all of the Ottoman people, and declared that I, Roman Ticund, Ed., should be considered the first of the Ottoman rulers worthy of uniting the Ottoman Empire and a Golden Age was decreed!
Thus began the age of OTTOMANIA!!
China, chastised before my greatness, came to beg for the secrets of music. His offer of Feudalism was light, but we accepted, for I knew he would not be foolish enough to dare try and take me unawares again.
With my power solidified, I made a national decree: All city-states of the Ottoman Empire would stand united beneath a single banner, MINE!
I also abolished slavery, as I believe that it was partly due to over-reliance on the back breaking labor of others that our minds had been stunted. I ordered new efforts be placed on research. No longer would the Ottomans be seen as backwards brutes! A new age was at hand!
In celebration of the golden age of OTTOMANIA, a heroic epic was constructed in Funkytown!
During this age, the Ottoman empire made rapid strides in knowledge and education, developing tools for navigating the seas and building great monuments to gods and making paper out of wood pulp. World leaders had a new, legitimate respect for the Ottoman Empire, rather than just fear. They came to us offering to share their knowledge and wealth.
With the accumulated knowledge of all the world’s great nations, we finally had an almost complete map of the world.
Our coffers were overflowing, and our scribes were making unprecedented progress in knowledge. Using our funds, I upgraded our defenses, teaching our bowmen how to use Zulu longbows, in case the Chinese ever decided to get fresh again.
In this year, the Apostolic Palace’s emissaries came to me, requesting an edict for all followers of the Jewish faith to follow. I decreed that Jews could roam freely over all Jewish holdings. My edict was followed by unanimous approval. (Open borders between all Jewish nations)
Our nation’s progress was so rapid, so advanced, that, before we had even come to understand what the Scribes meant when they told us we were in a “Medieval” age, that they came back and told us that no, this was, in fact, a Renaissance:
I feel the weight of age begin to weigh on my shoulders… Even the greatest leaders must, at some point or another, acquiesce to the cruel blows of Time. I was contemplating plans for my twilight years, when an advisor came to my chambers bearing the following news:
If nothing else comes of the great Ottoman Empire, the fact that educators are no longer seen as a wasteful scourge upon the countryside alone, means that my efforts have been worth it. Wherever she lies, I hope my old, fat, teacher of a mother can rest in peace.
Thinking of my mother, I came to a realization. Despite the love I have for this Empire, and my mother, it is still Buddhist Zulu blood that runs in my veins. Drakkar Noir an Ottoman city, is the holy city of Buddha, yet we continue to call ourselves Jews. Judaism is a vestige of Arcadium’s despotic past. A relic of our ties with the Native Americans. But we are a new nation now, our own nation, united, at last beneath one king! A nation should not be divided among itself, it must assert itself as a single unit.
As one of my last acts as God-Emperor of the Ottoman Empire, I decreed that Buddhism be recognized as our Country’s religion, and I sent Monks out to all corners of the Jewish world to spread the one true faith.
(Editor’s note: This, which came to be knows as the Buddhist Proclamation, would come to be seen as the end of Roman Ticund (Ed.)’s golden age)
Hammurabi, Buddhist himself, visited to share information, with his lackey Mansa Musa in tow. In actuality, he wished to congratulate me on becoming as enlightened as he is. That Which we once feared as a potential threat to our empire, may now turn out to be a valuable ally.
Finally, the time had come for me to embrace my twilight years, and find a place to rest my weary bones. I bore no children, and thus did not have an heir to name. I no longer cared. The Empire will be fine without me now, I am sure. The Ottoman spirit is strong, and it will prevail, no matter what kind of silly goose were to assume power.
Dressed in traditional Buddhist Monk robes, I set out with a cadre of loyal men to found a new town on the western bank of Arcadia, where I could live out the rest of my days. People tell me that, for a man of my level of education and experience, they’re surprised at how I can’t properly spell the name of my town.
I don’t know what they’re talking about.
While resting in my Villa, an advisor came to me with some good news:
Drakkar Noir would serve as a second seat of power for my successor and, once again, the coffers would flow with gold thanks to the Printing Press
and I am sure that this Mikhael fellow will be a valuable advisor to whoever might choose to follow in my footsteps. But that would be a tale for someone else to tell.
(Editor’s note: Thus ends the record of Roman Ticund (Ed.). Since his passing, several Ottoman Cities have been renamed from their Zulu origins to something more closely matching Roman’s legacy:
What follows is a list of statistics relating to the state of the Ottoman Empire at the time of Roman’s passing:
And the Victory Screen:
Sorry this got a little long, everyone, I tend to enjoy adding a little narrative flair to my Civ games when I play, keeps it from being more than just a spreadsheet with graphics, if you know what I mean. I hope you at least found it enjoyable, all three massive posts of it!
Advice for Smaug and the rest of Team A:
I feel I’ve set us up for pretty much any victory we want. Our country is massive, our cities are huge and we have cottages all over the freakin’ place. At this point in time, I would say it’s up to you guys to decide which way you want to take the Empire from here on out, you’ll have the tools to win however you’d like.
If China gets fresh again, I recommend simply using the horsemen I built on our northern front to pillage and raid the countryside, crippling their economy. There’s no real point in taking any more cities unless you’re determined to go for a Domination/Conquest victory.
Note that there is still one civilization left to find off on that northeastern continent that appear to be somewhat developed. I think it’ll be a pretty simple matter to keep the Jewish Brohood of China, Native America and England in check, but Babylon (with their pet, Mansa Musa) and this unknown nation could prove to be a problem still.
Allright, I’ll shut up now and let someone else take the stage.
Foefaller got Dragon Age Origins: Awakening and disapeared for 3 whole days.
He should have his turn posted within 12 hours of now (got to go to work first...) if not, he will accept whatever bump, kick, or shift that is deemed worthy.
EDIT: speaking of my turn... should I let Sitting Bull capitulate? or wipe him off the map?
I would say take his capital (they are always pretty nice cities and I put you right at his gates ;P) then either let him vassal or crush him. Don't let him peace-treaty out.
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Overwatch: TomFoolery#1388 Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
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I would say take his capital (they are always pretty nice cities and I put you right at his gates ;P) then either let him vassal or crush him. Don't let him peace-treaty out.
hmm... I'll probably take a couple cites from around his capital before I try and make him my vassal, otherwise, it's going to starve with only 2 tiles to work on once it's done revolting.
EDIT: Why do we have a Great Prophet Idle in a city, when we have the Islamic Holy City?
Granted, said holy city is in the ass-end of nowhere, and is probably the only Islamic city the world, but still...
Though I'm tempted to consume him and the Great Artist we just got for a Golden age, and the chance to switch around some civics.
EDIT: Why do we have a Great Prophet Idle in a city, when we have the Islamic Holy City?
Granted, said holy city is in the ass-end of nowhere, and is probably the only Islamic city the world, but still...
Because he popped on my 47th turn or so and I wasn't sure what we wanted to do with him (rarely ever pop prophets in my own games). The prospect of getting him to the city through Zulu territory annoyed me and I had Janissaries to whip/draft!
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Overwatch: TomFoolery#1388 Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
(Retired) GW2 Characters (Fort Aspenwood): Roy Gee Biv
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If a civ is vassalized, you can work any tile in their territory, regardless of relative culture levels.
Your border basically always take precedence, regardless of tile culture. So as soon as the rioting in the city ends, set it to build culture to border pop asap.
EDIT: Why do we have a Great Prophet Idle in a city, when we have the Islamic Holy City?
Granted, said holy city is in the ass-end of nowhere, and is probably the only Islamic city the world, but still...
Because he popped on my 47th turn or so and I wasn't sure what we wanted to do with him (rarely ever pop prophets in my own games). The prospect of getting him to the city through Zulu territory annoyed me and I had Janissaries to whip/draft!
Well, I decided I'd consume him for a golden age, mostly to swap around civics (got Economics trading with now-vassal Sitting Bull) got it set to Representaion/Nationhood/Slavery/Free Market/Orginized Religon right now at the halfway point (at work atm), went organized so I could pump out some missionaries and spread some religion around before I change it to Rep/Free Speech/Slavery/Free Market/Free Religion near the end of the age.
Anyway, will probably now focus on enconomy/research buildings and tech, and update some of the units we have garrisoned on our borders... though I'm moving the army closer to the borders of the Chinese, Shaka, and Sumerians in case I see an oppertunity (especially against Gilgamesh, as pretty much everyone hates him, except the Chinese, and Churchill will be more than happy to keep them busy once thier peace treaty is up.
Hehe I'm partial to communism but yeah our civics needed some updating. China / Shaka / Sumeria is the logical next target if we want to go for a domination victory though. You should be able to get another Janissary stack of doom pretty quickly with Nationhood so you can strike China to the north and Shaka/Sumeria to the south/east.
Hrm, I'm actually not sure of the mechanics, since Shaka is vassaled to Sumeria, can we steal him as a vassal if we crush a city or two, or does he automatically vassal to us if Sumeria capitulates? IIRC, Sumeria looked like a pretty soft target when I left, its only real defense was its allegiance to China.
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Overwatch: TomFoolery#1388 Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
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Hehe I'm partial to communism but yeah our civics needed some updating. China / Shaka / Sumeria is the logical next target if we want to go for a domination victory though. You should be able to get another Janissary stack of doom pretty quickly with Nationhood so you can strike China to the north and Shaka/Sumeria to the south/east.
Hrm, I'm actually not sure of the mechanics, since Shaka is vassaled to Sumeria, can we steal him as a vassal if we crush a city or two, or does he automatically vassal to us if Sumeria capitulates? IIRC, Sumeria looked like a pretty soft target when I left, its only real defense was its allegiance to China.
A Vassal who capitulates is no longer a vassal when either
a.) it loses half it's land
b.) it's land and/or pop becomes more than half of thier master's
Since Sumeria probablly won't capitulate to us until he's at about Shaka's size, and keeping Shaka small enough to not trigger b.) will probably trigger a.) anyway, I say we just wipe out/capitulate Shaka before we strike hard in Sumeria.
England started a little war with China just a few turns in, Sumeria didn't send anything, but Shaka had a small 6-7 stack of macemen and crossbowmen he sent across our land (we have OB with him) to attack the Brits, so of the two, he's probably the one most likely to send an stack at us before we force him on the defencive.
Macemen (really any pre-gunpowder unit) should really pose no threat to us anymore, I say go for it!
I'm actually not sure we can catch up to Mansa unless we start stealing his techs, so domination may be the best bet toward victory.
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It is finished!! Just sent the save to enlightenedbum, and should have a SS-filled report by tommorow.
In summary:
Sitting Bull is our vassal.
Shaka is no more.
With can now make (and draft) Riflemen, and our catapults and trebuchets have been replaced with cannons
At war with China and Sumeria when I left. Sumeria hasn't done much of anything that the Jassanaries and Riflemen couldn't easily handle, but China has musketmen, grenadiers, AND Cavalery, more border for us to cover, and Churchill, who at least had the first two, made peace with them about 2 turns before the end, after being at war with each other for most of my turn.
Have a couple of Spies sitting on some Chiniese and Sumerian Cities, got to Commusnism first, so we have a great spy for the next player to use, and got the espionage points headed to China, Sumeria and Mana Musa (in case someone wanted to go for a tech grab)
Tech research is currently going towards steam power, feel free to switch it or stay and go for assembly lines for infantry or railroad for, well, railroads and MGs.
Also, while we can't cross ocean tiles, we, thanks to Sitting Bull, finally know which way is north.
EDIT: Oh, while it doesn't really matter in the long run, we're now ahead of Mana Musa, score wise.
EDIT2: Most of the workers are on "expand trade routes" automation, so if you need one for something, look around.
If we can draft riflemen we should have the advantage against China. The AI is terrible at drafting (just like whipping), and riflemen give the best hammer/cost ratio at it (one of the reason I love playing as the brits).
If we still have that spy I suggest the next player use it for direct espionage points against Mansa and just straight up steal tech, or against China to steal tech and block their spies.
Tag on
Overwatch: TomFoolery#1388 Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
(Retired) GW2 Characters (Fort Aspenwood): Roy Gee Biv
(Retired) Let's Play: Lone Wolf
Thinking of whipping, one of Sitting Bull's cities had a Slave Revolt the very turn I was going to lay seige to it, letting me go straight to the assault. so happy.
If only I got something like that when I was attack Shanghai...
Confirming that I've gotten the save from Foefaller, I'll see if I can get started on my turn tonight. Just fyi, I've got an exam and two papers due Thursday, so at the latest I'll have the turn completed and written up by sometime Friday afternoon. The hope would be completing it before then, of course.
When I arrived, Tag left me an army of Janissaries, so I figured I might as well use them!
Couple of turns latter, this guy showed up:
Turns out he's Churchill's new vassal, runs a couple of cites on some middle-of-nowhere island.
Gilgemesh loses a city to Hammurabi... by majority vote:
...and again, 14 turns later...
...which is why I voted Mana Musa in for the next election: cause Hammrabi has a city next to our borders, is probably our next target after China and Sumeria, and we don't need him voting the cities out from under us, do we??
Anyway, back at my 9th turn, the Native American city of Spiro had a slave revolt the same turn my army was ready to begin sieging, what are the odds of that?!:
Needless to say, victory was assured.
Meanwhile, Churchill declared war on China, who got Sumeria and Shaka to declare war on them. Both sides tried to get me involved, but I politely refused. Churchill and Gilgemesh/Shaka made peace pretty quickly, but England and China stayed at war with each other for pretty much the rest of my turn.
...Durning this, we took Mound City:
...and then forced Sitting Bull to Capitulate, giving us our first vassal... and his only other city beyond his capital:
...and someone to get economics from and won't use whatever tech we gave them against us in the future:
Also got scientific method just before that.
Around that time, we got a great musician, and with him and a great prophet we had, started a Golden Age, durning which I drafted more Jassanaries, researched Steel (which turned the 4-5 trebuchets I was building into cannons, several with only a turn or two left... how nice) and prepared to start a war against China, Sumeria, and Shaka!
On the eve of our twin assaults, I get Hammunabri to declare war on Gilgamesh, for a couple of econimic techs:
and then... war is declared.
The Christian holy city is the first to fall:
Followed soon by the Zulu capital:
While we do not have any way of seeing how Hammunabri, and later, Mana Musa fair, Churchill begins an assault of his own on China's Northern Cities:
...but the silly goose makes peace before he accually takes anything... chubby bastard.
Shaka's Cities fall quickly, but the push into China is hard and bloody. unable to intervine in time, we lose Nacogdoches, the city Sitting Bull gave us when he capitulated.
And then a breakthrough! Rifling! and with it, Riflemen!
and in my last turns, with Riflemen leading the way, we end Shaka's reign with the taking of Nodwengu..
...and after a bloody battle, captured the city of Shanghai.
Posts
The real challenge would be to carefully arrange being utterly crushed on turn 51 ;P
Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
(Retired) GW2 Characters (Fort Aspenwood): Roy Gee Biv
(Retired) Let's Play: Lone Wolf
I almost did it, but we're better off with the courthouses now that you fixed the army :P
File, in case anyone cares.
Will be giving you a nice detailed writeup with screenies in a bit, after I crop my screens and all that good stuff, but, short version:
- Shaka is dead
- The Chinese are cowardly dicks
- We are the top dogs in the world
- We have the highest population by a huge margin
- Our economy is stable (!)
PMing Smaug with File as well so he can get started on his turn.
Civ4 isn't multithreaded so there are serious limits on how powerful of an AI you can develop before even a decent computer will bog down. Hopefully Civ5 will work something like Chessmaster where the core game is one executable, but the logic engine/AI is separate one and can be spawned multiple times depending on how many threads your processor can handle. Could really put one of those new Core i7 hyperthreaded 6 core processors to the test!
I have written here for posterity my account of the unification of the Ottaman City States into the one united Arcadian Empire. I was born in uMgungundluvu, shortly after its conquest by James the 7023rd, a product of an illicit love between an Ottoman schoolteacher and a slave Zulu Elephant dungsmith. My upbringing was very difficult, as I was beset at all times by questions of how a foreign slave dungsmith could ever debase himself to copulate with a schoolteacher, as educators, at the time of my birth, were seen as nothing more than a drain on Ottoman society.
Tempered by the jeers of my peers, I set out to prove that there was value in education and spent most of my formative years studying the book at the the Great Mud library of uMgung.
As I came of age, it became clear that I was, by far, the most educated person in the city, took on the title of Master of Education (or Ed. for short) and began my career by teaching the local troops which ends of their sticks were the pointy ones.
Then, one fateful year, James 8091 himself, self-declared ruler of everthing he sees, arrived in uMgungundluv with a host of Elephants and his royal guard, to inspect his holdings and show them off to his entire extended family as well as his entire cabinet. As the foremost expert in just about everthing in uMgungundluvu, the militia (the only effective government in uMgung) elected that I act as representative of the town, and address the despot.
I spent time explaining the day to day happenings of uMgung, but the king was bored by my exposition. He interrupted me by asking "So, are you one of them smart guys?" I answered in the affirmative, at which point he asked "Ok, so, like, if I make you minister of smart stuff, will you stop talking to me?" I confirmed that I would. The despot responded with "Allright, done, so now go do whatever it is that you smart guys do and fix this country."
So, that night, at a special banquet, I poisoned James 8091, his entire family, and the cabinet.
It was clearly for the best.
As sole surviving member of the cabinet, I set upon my task of unifying the scattered city states that were once the Ottoman Empire.
First, a look at the world as we knew it in 1050:
As you can see, the Empire was vast indeed, but neatly divided by what remained of the Zulu, my ancestral home's holdings.
Out struggles with the Zulu date back for centuries, but, in recent years, the Ottoman people's love of pointy things and sticking those pointy things into squishy things had taught the Zulu the price of hubris, and the Zulu have been reduced to nothing more than a scavenger state. They even sell their own people as slaves to the Ottoman, from whence I was born. Aside from the Zulu, we have enjoyed lukewarm relations with our other neighbors in the past, as can be seen here:
Obviously, the Zulu hate us, but our brothers in faith, Churchill and Sitting Bull, like us well enough. The chinese, fellow Jews, are nonplussed. Hammurabi, together with his vassal lapdog Mansa Musa, appeared to be our greatest threat at the time.
I knew, that if the divided Ottoman City-States were ever to survive as a unified nation, they would need to settle down and start thinking about bettering themselves, rather than continuously seeking to destroy that which they did not understand, which was, at that time in history, everything.
The Ottoman Empire was enormous, and on the verge of collapsing under it's own weight. I knew that if I did not move to change the course of history, then Civil War would emerge, and the mighty Ottoman Empire would fall into dust. I could not let that happen.
One of the benefits of having a giant empire is that we have access to a variety of treasures and goods. One of my first acts as new leader of the Ottoman Empire was to order huge majestic elephants to carry large casks of Incense and Sugar to Hammurabi, so that he would know that he should just relax, rather than consider what a waste it would be for him should he decide to incur the wrath of the Ottoman. Hammurabi graciously accepted the gift and let our envoy off on his way. Needless to say, the Sugar we gave him was actually a special mix of my own design; a blend of sugar and the special Ottoman "Nose Candy". This gift to Babylon would be sure to keep Hammurabi and his people too complacent to consider invading. To be sure, the Elephants stayed in Asshatan, on our Eastern border, just in case.
The matter with Babylon settled for the time being, I set out to tour our lands. I expected to find ignorant bumpkins everywhere I went, as the Ottoman people never valued education or knowledge. What I did not expect was the sheer laziness of the people. In some cases, cities took decades to build simple Hammams. Apparently, it wasn't just the Babylonians who were partaking of the Ottoman Nose Candy. Luckily, thanks to my upbringing, I knew just how to motivate such people.
After a hard day of educating the masses on the finer points of lacerations, a pigeon came from the sky and landed on my shoulder with the following note.
The pigeon pie that night was quite delicious.
Upon my travels, I was unsurprised to see that none of the cities had what anyone would call, any sort of governing bodies. All of the Ottoman Empire's cities were basically nothing more than ghettoes, run by crime lords who misappropriated the Empire's funds for themselves. While the whip worked wonders as a motivator for the masses, stricter measures would need to be taken to shore up this corruption. Thus, I ordered cities across the Empire to begin enforcing THE LAW (tm). Before long, every city in the empire would have the means to enforce [strike]MY[/strike] THE LAW (tm)
Just as I was beginning to admire my work, I received word that there was a large bald man wishing to speak with me. Churchill, ruler of the English, far to the north, took issue with my offering to the Babylonians.
The Ottoman people have always kind of liked the English (Mostly due to the fact that they were far away and we never really needed to deal with them), but, it was clear that Churchill didn’t know what the hell was going on, instead, I gave him some cows to keep him from going home empty handed.
I knew that if the Ottoman Empire was to flourish, then the most educated would need to be uplifted and given positions of power. Ironically (to me, anyways) believing in a giant, flying, invisible old man in the sky usually meant you were better educated than everyone else. Thus I decreed that the leaders of Judaism be recognized as priests and begin work on enriching the masses.
With Priests becoming leaders in their communities, I noticed that things started getting done a bit faster (Editor’s note: Priesthood unlocks the civic Organized Religion, which causes cities who have your national religion to build buildings faster)
Next, an advisor brought me a report on what we knew about our neighboring civilizations, including a large birch-tree-bark report on Shaka Zulu. Remembering that the Zulu people were but a shell of their former selves and any information on them was practically useless, I ordered our spies out of Zululand for them to focus on our still threatening neighbors further abroad.
Over the next several years my focus was simple: The Ottoman empire was the largest and most magnificent Empire run by a group of functionally retarded people. This needed to change. While the Jewish clergy was doing a passable job of educating the people of the Eastern Ottoman Empire, the west, lands formerly held by the ancient and defunct Sumerian Empire, was neglected, as they still followed the venerable Buddhist tradition of their ancestors, which had been founded by the Zulu, my ancestors.
Since, however, the Ottoman Empire has taken the Holy City of Drakkar Noir, and its coffers were being filled with tithes from the faithful both within the Empire and without.
I was contemplating the spiritual future of the Ottoman Empire, when an envoy from the lands of Native America arrived at my doorstep.
Clearly, having Jewish friends could be profitable as well. I accepted the Native’s offer and continued to debate my options.
Several years later, as I was overseeing the nation’s finances, I received a curious note from one of our spies in China. The Chinese government had decreed that all Chinese people shared equal rights. A ridiculous notion, to be sure, but, just the same, if the slaves of the Empire were to hear of this… Bah, it is of no concern. If any slaves get uppity, we’ll either whip them in submission or shower their owners with gold and incense to keep them complacent.
Eventually, my attention turned to the oft-overlooked realm of New Arcadia, on a small continent far to the East, which once belonged to the Sumerian people. Our warriors there discovered a small village, forgotten by time, where the descendents of this ancient people had continued to propagate.
It was a simple matter for our warriors to destroy this village utterly, and claim its meager riches for the greater good of the Ottoman Empire.
I looked upon the great and vast Ottoman Empire and knew that my work had been good and righteous. However, all was not well in the Empire. The schism between Jewish West and Buddhist East was growing, unaided by the fact that they were, literally divided by the remnants of Zululand. If the Empire was ever to unite under a single banner, I knew what had to be done, but it would not be an easy decision…
But a decision had to be made.
{Editor’s note: Stay tuned for more adventures of Roman Ticund (Ed.) and his crazy Ottomans, after this message from our sponsors!}
The Death of Shaka Zulu and the Chinese Reveal their true colors!
And so it came to pass that I decided that if the Ottoman Empire were ever to unite under a single banner, any obstacle simply had to be removed, and the Zulu were, quite literally, standing directly in our way.
I sent an emissary to Shaka Zulu himself, demanding that he submit to Ottoman rule or be destroyed. The proud fool, of course, declined, leaving me with no alternative but to declare WAR!
I returned to my home town of nMgungwhatever, and took up the reins of an ancient Mastodon, whose dung my father smithed ages ago. Leading the charge, we marched upon Nongoma.
Nongoma’s defenders were unprepared for our assault, and practically just laid down and died.
Within weeks, Balawaya fell in a similar fashion
Zululand was broken, all that remained was to mop up the remnants. I ordered our army to split up in Balawaya, to lay claim to the rest of Zulu lands. The brunt of our forces to were sent to take out Nodwengu, to the Northeast, but our infiltrators had informed me that Shaka Zulu himself had escaped to the SouthWest, to a small frozen outpost whose name has been lost to history.
Nodwengu fell just as easily as the rest of Zululand, but there, in the South, is where our forces finally met a challenge. In their desperation, the Zulu had managed to fashion new bows, as tall as men, which could shoot twice as far as regular bows. Shaka Zulu’s elite guards were able to fell many an elephant before we could even approach. Shaka’s final struggle was valiant, and spurred me to seek an audience with him personally once we inevitably breached his defenses.
Shaka had been cowering in a hovel when I arrived. It shamed me to realize that I shared ancestral blood with this coward, who had been leeching off of Ottoman spoils for decades.
“You are a Zulu warrior” I told him. “We are both descended from a proud race! Is this how you wish to be remembered? Cowering in your own filth?
“You speak to me as though you are Zulu! You share our dark skin, but you are not one of us!”
“You’re right,” I said, with disgust “I’m an Ottoman”
And then I took his head.
I then said my goodbyes to my home town of uMgungahforgetit, to return to Arcadia, to attend to affairs of state. I arrived to find my people in a state of panic. I asked the local Warlord, a man by the name of Beef Breath (He really liked beef, apparently) what the commotion was about. He explained to me that, while I was away fighting in the Zulu Wars, the Chinese, to the north, had declared war on us!
I immediately demanded a report.
“Well um…” said Beef Breath
“Well, out with it, man!”
“Well, there’s… nothing to report”
“What do you mean? Have they raided the countryside, tested our defenses, anything at all?”
“Well no, not really, they have chariots that just pop in and out of our borders and taunt us.”
“Taunt us, yes. Um, here is the translation I’ve gotten from our priests: *ahem*
Yo mama’s so fat and old, When God said "Let There be Light", He told her to move her fat ass out of the way.”
“I… see… I’ll settle this, assemble my men!”
I took a cadre of elite swordsmen with me to our northern bastion of Buttsexawayo, to await the next Chinese incursion. Sure enough, the foolish chariots came too close, and our men set upon them like old, fat mothers on Ottoman Nose Candy cookies.
I brought the general of the Chinese chariots in for questioning. His final words were “My bad…”.
I considered punishing the Chinese for this insult, but remembered that, as savage as Ottoman Warriors are, they are also mostly retarded, and have to grasp of technology beyond “do not hold swords by the pointy end”. Matters of state had not yet been settled to the point where the Ottoman Empire could afford a war, so I sent an emissary to Qui Gon Jinn or whatever his name is and told him not to let it happen again.
Yeah yeah, we’ll deal with you later, buster.
To seal the deal, we made a trade arrangement. We had a surplus of wine and Incense anyways, and The Empire needed all the cash flow it could get.
[
To celebrate our ultimate victory over the Zulu and our tenuous peace with the Chinese, the city of Shaftsbury commissioned a great National Epic.
Peace had come at last to the Ottoman Empire, but things were not resolved as of yet. It would be some time before the rift between East and West would heal, even with the Zulu gone, and we could never let our guard down against the Cowardly Chinese and the devious Babylonians. But, for now, the people of the Empire had to come first, and I set out to prove, once and for all, that the Ottoman Empire would be the greatest nation history would ever know!
(Editor’s note: Stay tuned for our next edition: The Golden age of Roman Ticund, or, Ottomania!)
The Reign of Roman the Diarist I think will be your title.
Are you not entertained? :P
It's coming, hold your horses.
Good writing so far, though!
Ottomania!
The principle issue dividing the Ottoman City states was that of religion. The founding lands of Arcadia had adopted Judaism, the faith first taken up by the peaceful Native American people which was imported into our lands. Ever since, the entire western hemisphere had taken up the belief that there was one, all powerful old man in the sky which told us how we should live. However, after the ancient Ottoman dynasties forcibly took over Sumerian and Zulu lands, culminating in the capture of Drakkar Noir, there have been conflicting schools of thought across the Empire over whether Judaism was the one true faith, of if the ancient Zulu religion of Buddhism was the true path to enlightenment. This, above all else, was what kept the people of the Empire divided.
The Native American people had built a building called The Apostolic Palace. A palace where affairs of religion, in this case, Judaism would be settled, and all adherents to that faith were expected to follow its edicts. Having been born in nMgungwhatever, I was raised under the Zulu school of Buddhism, and thus had little concern over the matters of invisible old men. It came as a surprise to me, then, when Native American emissaries from this Apostolic Palace came to me, petitioning me to vote for whom I felt would best be suited to propose sanctions in the name of all Jews.
Naturally, I picked myself and dismissed the envoy.
Imagine my surprise, then, when the envoy returns a few months later to announce that I had been elected to speak for Jews everywhere.
It turns out that my nomination was supported by that strange, fat, man, Churchill, and our voices combined was enough to convince the Palace that I should be the one to lead.
While I acted as de-facto despot for the Empire, my power was limited to suggesting edicts to the local warlords and clergymen, but day-to-day rule was left mostly to each state’s own self-imposed Warlords. In the end, I was still a low-born son of a schoolteacher and a slave. However, now that my voice had been recognized as an international authority, combined with my decisive victory over the Zulu, I noticed that the level of respect I was afforded by our people had begun to grow.
In fact, a local troubadour had already written a song about my exploits called the “Romance of Roman”, which spoke of my exploits. I enjoyed it so much that I had the troubadour and everyone he knew sent to the Nose Candy mines as slaves while I took credit for inventing Music.
Before I could even take the time to bask in the glorious music I had “created”, Churchill burst into my office with the following offer:
I yelled at him for breaking me out of my reverie and sent him home empty-handed.
My efforts were not unrewarded, however, as my scribes informed me that a new age had begun for the Ottoman Empire, and I, for one, was going to take full advantage of it.
At this time, a warlord by the name of William Melville, known for his cunning and prowess, came forward before all of the Ottoman people, and declared that I, Roman Ticund, Ed., should be considered the first of the Ottoman rulers worthy of uniting the Ottoman Empire and a Golden Age was decreed!
Thus began the age of OTTOMANIA!!
China, chastised before my greatness, came to beg for the secrets of music. His offer of Feudalism was light, but we accepted, for I knew he would not be foolish enough to dare try and take me unawares again.
With my power solidified, I made a national decree: All city-states of the Ottoman Empire would stand united beneath a single banner, MINE!
I also abolished slavery, as I believe that it was partly due to over-reliance on the back breaking labor of others that our minds had been stunted. I ordered new efforts be placed on research. No longer would the Ottomans be seen as backwards brutes! A new age was at hand!
In celebration of the golden age of OTTOMANIA, a heroic epic was constructed in Funkytown!
During this age, the Ottoman empire made rapid strides in knowledge and education, developing tools for navigating the seas and building great monuments to gods and making paper out of wood pulp. World leaders had a new, legitimate respect for the Ottoman Empire, rather than just fear. They came to us offering to share their knowledge and wealth.
With the accumulated knowledge of all the world’s great nations, we finally had an almost complete map of the world.
Our coffers were overflowing, and our scribes were making unprecedented progress in knowledge. Using our funds, I upgraded our defenses, teaching our bowmen how to use Zulu longbows, in case the Chinese ever decided to get fresh again.
In this year, the Apostolic Palace’s emissaries came to me, requesting an edict for all followers of the Jewish faith to follow. I decreed that Jews could roam freely over all Jewish holdings. My edict was followed by unanimous approval. (Open borders between all Jewish nations)
Our nation’s progress was so rapid, so advanced, that, before we had even come to understand what the Scribes meant when they told us we were in a “Medieval” age, that they came back and told us that no, this was, in fact, a Renaissance:
I feel the weight of age begin to weigh on my shoulders… Even the greatest leaders must, at some point or another, acquiesce to the cruel blows of Time. I was contemplating plans for my twilight years, when an advisor came to my chambers bearing the following news:
If nothing else comes of the great Ottoman Empire, the fact that educators are no longer seen as a wasteful scourge upon the countryside alone, means that my efforts have been worth it. Wherever she lies, I hope my old, fat, teacher of a mother can rest in peace.
Thinking of my mother, I came to a realization. Despite the love I have for this Empire, and my mother, it is still Buddhist Zulu blood that runs in my veins. Drakkar Noir an Ottoman city, is the holy city of Buddha, yet we continue to call ourselves Jews. Judaism is a vestige of Arcadium’s despotic past. A relic of our ties with the Native Americans. But we are a new nation now, our own nation, united, at last beneath one king! A nation should not be divided among itself, it must assert itself as a single unit.
As one of my last acts as God-Emperor of the Ottoman Empire, I decreed that Buddhism be recognized as our Country’s religion, and I sent Monks out to all corners of the Jewish world to spread the one true faith.
(Editor’s note: This, which came to be knows as the Buddhist Proclamation, would come to be seen as the end of Roman Ticund (Ed.)’s golden age)
Hammurabi, Buddhist himself, visited to share information, with his lackey Mansa Musa in tow. In actuality, he wished to congratulate me on becoming as enlightened as he is. That Which we once feared as a potential threat to our empire, may now turn out to be a valuable ally.
Finally, the time had come for me to embrace my twilight years, and find a place to rest my weary bones. I bore no children, and thus did not have an heir to name. I no longer cared. The Empire will be fine without me now, I am sure. The Ottoman spirit is strong, and it will prevail, no matter what kind of silly goose were to assume power.
Dressed in traditional Buddhist Monk robes, I set out with a cadre of loyal men to found a new town on the western bank of Arcadia, where I could live out the rest of my days. People tell me that, for a man of my level of education and experience, they’re surprised at how I can’t properly spell the name of my town.
I don’t know what they’re talking about.
While resting in my Villa, an advisor came to me with some good news:
Drakkar Noir would serve as a second seat of power for my successor and, once again, the coffers would flow with gold thanks to the Printing Press
and I am sure that this Mikhael fellow will be a valuable advisor to whoever might choose to follow in my footsteps. But that would be a tale for someone else to tell.
(Editor’s note: Thus ends the record of Roman Ticund (Ed.). Since his passing, several Ottoman Cities have been renamed from their Zulu origins to something more closely matching Roman’s legacy:
What follows is a list of statistics relating to the state of the Ottoman Empire at the time of Roman’s passing:
And the Victory Screen:
Sorry this got a little long, everyone, I tend to enjoy adding a little narrative flair to my Civ games when I play, keeps it from being more than just a spreadsheet with graphics, if you know what I mean. I hope you at least found it enjoyable, all three massive posts of it!
Advice for Smaug and the rest of Team A:
I feel I’ve set us up for pretty much any victory we want. Our country is massive, our cities are huge and we have cottages all over the freakin’ place. At this point in time, I would say it’s up to you guys to decide which way you want to take the Empire from here on out, you’ll have the tools to win however you’d like.
If China gets fresh again, I recommend simply using the horsemen I built on our northern front to pillage and raid the countryside, crippling their economy. There’s no real point in taking any more cities unless you’re determined to go for a Domination/Conquest victory.
Note that there is still one civilization left to find off on that northeastern continent that appear to be somewhat developed. I think it’ll be a pretty simple matter to keep the Jewish Brohood of China, Native America and England in check, but Babylon (with their pet, Mansa Musa) and this unknown nation could prove to be a problem still.
Allright, I’ll shut up now and let someone else take the stage.
Go team A!
Well, Golden Ages are nice like that.
Finishing game today, post tonight or tomorrow.
He should have his turn posted within 12 hours of now (got to go to work first...) if not, he will accept whatever bump, kick, or shift that is deemed worthy.
EDIT: speaking of my turn... should I let Sitting Bull capitulate? or wipe him off the map?
Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
(Retired) GW2 Characters (Fort Aspenwood): Roy Gee Biv
(Retired) Let's Play: Lone Wolf
hmm... I'll probably take a couple cites from around his capital before I try and make him my vassal, otherwise, it's going to starve with only 2 tiles to work on once it's done revolting.
EDIT: Why do we have a Great Prophet Idle in a city, when we have the Islamic Holy City?
Granted, said holy city is in the ass-end of nowhere, and is probably the only Islamic city the world, but still...
Though I'm tempted to consume him and the Great Artist we just got for a Golden age, and the chance to switch around some civics.
ANy thoughts?
Well, that settles it.
Because he popped on my 47th turn or so and I wasn't sure what we wanted to do with him (rarely ever pop prophets in my own games). The prospect of getting him to the city through Zulu territory annoyed me and I had Janissaries to whip/draft!
Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
(Retired) GW2 Characters (Fort Aspenwood): Roy Gee Biv
(Retired) Let's Play: Lone Wolf
Your border basically always take precedence, regardless of tile culture. So as soon as the rioting in the city ends, set it to build culture to border pop asap.
Well, I decided I'd consume him for a golden age, mostly to swap around civics (got Economics trading with now-vassal Sitting Bull) got it set to Representaion/Nationhood/Slavery/Free Market/Orginized Religon right now at the halfway point (at work atm), went organized so I could pump out some missionaries and spread some religion around before I change it to Rep/Free Speech/Slavery/Free Market/Free Religion near the end of the age.
Anyway, will probably now focus on enconomy/research buildings and tech, and update some of the units we have garrisoned on our borders... though I'm moving the army closer to the borders of the Chinese, Shaka, and Sumerians in case I see an oppertunity (especially against Gilgamesh, as pretty much everyone hates him, except the Chinese, and Churchill will be more than happy to keep them busy once thier peace treaty is up.
Hrm, I'm actually not sure of the mechanics, since Shaka is vassaled to Sumeria, can we steal him as a vassal if we crush a city or two, or does he automatically vassal to us if Sumeria capitulates? IIRC, Sumeria looked like a pretty soft target when I left, its only real defense was its allegiance to China.
Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
(Retired) GW2 Characters (Fort Aspenwood): Roy Gee Biv
(Retired) Let's Play: Lone Wolf
A Vassal who capitulates is no longer a vassal when either
a.) it loses half it's land
b.) it's land and/or pop becomes more than half of thier master's
Since Sumeria probablly won't capitulate to us until he's at about Shaka's size, and keeping Shaka small enough to not trigger b.) will probably trigger a.) anyway, I say we just wipe out/capitulate Shaka before we strike hard in Sumeria.
England started a little war with China just a few turns in, Sumeria didn't send anything, but Shaka had a small 6-7 stack of macemen and crossbowmen he sent across our land (we have OB with him) to attack the Brits, so of the two, he's probably the one most likely to send an stack at us before we force him on the defencive.
I'm actually not sure we can catch up to Mansa unless we start stealing his techs, so domination may be the best bet toward victory.
Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
(Retired) GW2 Characters (Fort Aspenwood): Roy Gee Biv
(Retired) Let's Play: Lone Wolf
In summary:
Sitting Bull is our vassal.
Shaka is no more.
With can now make (and draft) Riflemen, and our catapults and trebuchets have been replaced with cannons
At war with China and Sumeria when I left. Sumeria hasn't done much of anything that the Jassanaries and Riflemen couldn't easily handle, but China has musketmen, grenadiers, AND Cavalery, more border for us to cover, and Churchill, who at least had the first two, made peace with them about 2 turns before the end, after being at war with each other for most of my turn.
Have a couple of Spies sitting on some Chiniese and Sumerian Cities, got to Commusnism first, so we have a great spy for the next player to use, and got the espionage points headed to China, Sumeria and Mana Musa (in case someone wanted to go for a tech grab)
Tech research is currently going towards steam power, feel free to switch it or stay and go for assembly lines for infantry or railroad for, well, railroads and MGs.
Also, while we can't cross ocean tiles, we, thanks to Sitting Bull, finally know which way is north.
EDIT: Oh, while it doesn't really matter in the long run, we're now ahead of Mana Musa, score wise.
EDIT2: Most of the workers are on "expand trade routes" automation, so if you need one for something, look around.
If we can draft riflemen we should have the advantage against China. The AI is terrible at drafting (just like whipping), and riflemen give the best hammer/cost ratio at it (one of the reason I love playing as the brits).
If we still have that spy I suggest the next player use it for direct espionage points against Mansa and just straight up steal tech, or against China to steal tech and block their spies.
Black Desert: Family Name: Foolery. Characters: Tome & Beerserk.
(Retired) GW2 Characters (Fort Aspenwood): Roy Gee Biv
(Retired) Let's Play: Lone Wolf
If only I got something like that when I was attack Shanghai...
So... did you finish your turn? How'd it go?
Smaug is so nice, he gave me a Great Prophet AND a Great Builder.
So many new people form all the colonies developing. It was driving me crazy.
Was saving the great prophet in case the chinses didn't build their holy building for Taoism.
:-(
See?
When I arrived, Tag left me an army of Janissaries, so I figured I might as well use them!
Couple of turns latter, this guy showed up:
Gilgemesh loses a city to Hammurabi... by majority vote:
Anyway, back at my 9th turn, the Native American city of Spiro had a slave revolt the same turn my army was ready to begin sieging, what are the odds of that?!:
Meanwhile, Churchill declared war on China, who got Sumeria and Shaka to declare war on them. Both sides tried to get me involved, but I politely refused. Churchill and Gilgemesh/Shaka made peace pretty quickly, but England and China stayed at war with each other for pretty much the rest of my turn.
...Durning this, we took Mound City:
On the eve of our twin assaults, I get Hammunabri to declare war on Gilgamesh, for a couple of econimic techs:
Shaka's Cities fall quickly, but the push into China is hard and bloody. unable to intervine in time, we lose Nacogdoches, the city Sitting Bull gave us when he capitulated.
And then a breakthrough! Rifling! and with it, Riflemen!
and in my last turns, with Riflemen leading the way, we end Shaka's reign with the taking of Nodwengu..