How to make the girl feel safe on the streets?

Deusfaux

My friend, whom is a girl, often has to go out along the streets because she lives on campus and doesnt have a car. This is often alone.

Tonight for example, she was honked at by 4 different cars (even a guy on a motorcycle) and she DOES NOT dress with lots of skin showing.'

She really hates that, and she's not even from around here, so she gets really nervous and worries alot about what could happen.

I live quite a ways from her, so I can't always be taking her everywhere.


I was thinking of giving her something to feel more protected.. any ideas?

Anyone know where you can get pepper spray? Do you need a licence? Maybe a pay-as-you-go cellphone?

Any other ideas?

Doc

For pepper spray, it depends on the State.

http://www.udap.com/defense.htm

Harry B

I'm a big fan of women not walking around alone at night. Are there any friends or neighbors she can walk with? A criminal is far less likely to strike more than one person.

Failing that, get pepper spray, a pocket taser, one of those sonic thingies, or a pistol. Whatever she gets, make sure she's trained in the use of it.

moniker

and

Deusfaux

Doc wrote:

For pepper spray, it depends on the State.

http://www.udap.com/defense.htm

any links for canada? most of this stuff you cant jsut get, like a pistol or whatever...

Tube

Get her a cellphone and tell her to stick to well lit areas, preferably with a fair few people around. If you resort to carrying weapons around with you, you've already lost.

Iacobus

Cardboard Tube wrote:

Get her a cellphone and tell her to stick to well lit areas, preferably with a fair few people around. If you resort to carrying weapons around with you, you've already lost.

And if you pull a weapon and don't know exactly how to use it, you're probably dead.

Kaharz

Most campuses usually have a volunteer security escort for students who have to walk a ways to their car at night.

moniker

Carry a lethal and/or non lethal device. Get trained in self defense. Walk in well lit, populated areas. Walk in a group. That's basically all that you can do to help deter an assault beyond calling a cab or using a bus. Check with your college, they may offer a free taxi service for girls at night.

Dog

are you feeling lucky punk?


Seriosly I dont think anything will happen to her either way. See the media pumps us with so much fear we blow things out of propotion like this. A gun Would probly cause more troble than its worth.

AbsoluteZero

Most tasers and stunguns are legal. She can pretend its force lightning!

pteeew! pteeew! psheeeeeeww!!

Yar

I don't know where you guys are from, but something can happen. A lot college campuses are like crime zones for women. Parking decks at colleges are often referred to as "rape centers" and what-not. Even at a small, gated, expensive private school in the South like the one I went to, we had multiple violent sexual assaults every year.

I'm not trying to scare anyone or anything. I mean, statistically it's more likely nothing will happen, I guess. But deus is totally correct to be looking for an answer here... she is at risk. If she's up for firearms training and is cool with that, then a little gun wouldn't be terrible, though they are rather inconvenient in this day and age since they are so not PC. The better solution is probably to work out a system where she isn't walking alone. Most schools offer buddy programs or shuttle servies for this type of thing.

Dog

You have a good point.

I dont think any woman should walk completely alone in the middle of the night.

But the reason why a gun might not be a good idea is that she might shoot someone thats acctually innocent (it happens).

Richy

Failing that, I'd sign her up for a martial arts class. It will give her better reflexes and train her to defend herself without resorting to weapons. Which is pretty useful, considering your girlfriend might not always remember to carry her weapons with her, or might not have time to get them out if she’s attacked by surprise. And since, like several people mentioned, giving her a weapon without proper training is almost like giving her no weapon at all.

Failing that, I’d say a pepper spray. Non lethal weapons are best in my opinion; if she gets jumpy and shoots an innocent, pepper in the face will only sting for a few minutes/hours, while a bullet in the head will have more lasting effects, both on the victim and on her. And I’ve seen a bottle of pepper spray (my dad got one for my mom), it seems simple enough to use. It’s not that different from a regular spray.

Yar

Oh, I just remembered: Walk confident.

Tell her to learn how to walk like she's confident and arrogant as hell. A woman who walks with her head down and her arms crossed is much more likely to be victimized than one who walks with her head up, arms swaying at the sides, etc. It's certainly not 100% effective, but it's very true that it makes a difference.

FyreWulff

I would recommend the old conceal carry permit + .45, but since Canada lacks a 2nd Amendment.. well.. mace. and Canadian Maple Syrup.

Harry B

The best advice here is not walking alone. Martial arts classes are good for what they are, but they're not going to give her the ability to fend off a man twice her size. Mace and pepper spray are good, but they aren't 100% either, and since you live in Canada, a nice .22 in the purse isn't an option. It's a shame, but women walking alone at night aren't safe and the best solution is for them not to walk alone at night.

Corvus

Deus, is this on Campus that she's having problems? Most universities have some sort of safe-walk progam where a volunteer will walk with you. My school has some van patrol that will pick people up at night and shuttle you around campus.

But as others have said, get her to avoid walking alone unless there is no other option, teach her to walk tall, be aware of her enviroment (no fumbling with her purse that sort of thing. Looking distracted makes you a more attractive victim). A cell phone may be a good idea. Also, using different routes is advisable, as people who always use the same route are easier for predators to track.

Having trouble finding the legal status of pepper spray up here. While I've seen it for sale in many places, I am assuming that it is being sold as "animal repellent"

This doesn't clarify the issue much
As others have said, unless you girl is very confident and poised in a crisis, weapons of any sort are probably a bad idea, and may be more likely to be used against her. If you dont think your girl can stab, shoot or pepper spray somebody, dont get her a weapon.

Andrew_Jay

I have to repeat the safe-walk advice, those services are great and her school should have one. Or if she can walk with a friend, two people (regardless of how "defenseless" they may be) is better than one.

Other than that, stick to well lit areas and busier streets (actually, it's alreay been mentioned, but she might be better off if she's somewhere with plenty of cars, even if they are honking) and if possible stay inside for as much of the walk - at my campus, with tunnels and skywalks, you can walk from one end to the other without venturing outside - and I'd feel a lot safer indoors.

Also, add a whistle to any mace/pepper spray etc.

Deusfaux

while she has used safe walk before, she is kind of embarassed to call on them somtimes.. (which i can work on)

but like with today, she had to technically go "off campus" where safe-walk doesnt go


it seems there is no way to avoid jerkwad men in cars who honk at females, no matter what.

its like some comic said. men who honk at women are just plain out of ideas. they have none. nothing.

Quid

You could always console her with the knowledge that men are three times more likely to be assaulted. I need to find the book that has that statistic, but anyway, the point is the media and society tend to pump it into our heads that women will get beaten, raped, and cut into tiny pieces if left to fend for themselves. Most guys honking horns or whistling aren't dangerous. And college rape has been getting blown out of proportion lately too. Yes, it could happen, but it's not likely.

But if that's not good enough, then most places allow anyone over eighteen to own mace. A gun would be a bad idea since from the way you make it sound, she seems nervous and the last thing a nervous person should have is a firearm. Walking confidentally in the first place would deter most possible attackers. All of my friends, girls or guy, walk around confidentally if they're in an area they're unfamiliar with or think is unsafe. Most people assume that if you look confident, you probably have a reason to be. Otherwise she should just not go out at night if she doesn't feel safe. It's a bitch, but if she doesn't like the risk, she shouldn't take it.

Jean Claude Van Calm

I think the real problem is that you are not ninja enough to protect your woman.



Tazers are a no no you don't want someone touching you when you pump 30,000 volts into their penis.

I'd say your best bet is just pepper spray it's simple and effective, I wouldn't carry anything on me that could be used to kill me. When the adrenaline is pumping people tend to flip out so if they get ahold of a gun or knife or tazer that belongs to me after I intended to use it on them, they'll probably kill me. As compared to pepper spray where if they somehow wrestle it from me I"ll just have burning eyes and be raped.

moniker

Rather then train her in fencing (although that would be pretty neat) or a martial art just have her train on a treadmill. Can't rape what you can't catch.

GoodOmens

Kaharz wrote:

Most campuses usually have a volunteer security escort for students who have to walk a ways to their car at night.

I'd like to jump on the "me-too" bandwagon here. This is the best advice available. Another option is to make a deal with one of your friends; maybe he escorts her a few nights a week in exchange for pizza and beer on Friday, something like that. Or offer to help his GF out when he's not available. I don't have statistics to cite offhand, but AFAIK the most effective way to deter attacks is having two or more people in a group. Obviously, it helps if your friend looks like Brock Lesnar, but it's not necessary.

BabyJune

I would like to point out that blaming it on the media, or saying 'this doesn't really happen' is naive. Statistically, yes, probably nothing will happen to her. But it does happen, and you should be aware of it. I'm at a state school in Mass, and we have multiple instances of rape every year. One year was particularly bad, with at least one occuring in broad daylight in a fairly heavy traffic area. After that, security was stepped up, and women demanded a safer campus.

That said, I think the walk-safe programs suggested so far are a good idea. So is pepper spray, just make sure she understands how to use it and is confident enough to do so; cell phone is also a good idea. And, yeah, walking confidently is a big thing. Attackers tend to go for insecure, quiet, distracted people. If you're likely to put up a fight, it's not worth it. So be ready to put up a fight.

Vooshvazool

I know that at least at my school, the police department runs a self-defense training program for women only, and there are self-defense classes run by the uni that we can take for credit. worth looking into?

bone daddy

Whoever mentioned running hit at least one nail on the head, though. Too many people wind up in bad situations they could have avoided because instead of taking off when they smelled trouble they didn't want to look like an ass and played it cool. Sensible shoes are always a good idea if you think you might be walking in an unsafe area and can't avoid it.

Premier kakos

As far as protection and such goes, safe walk programs are great and most even go off campus. At least every college I have been to has a safe walk that is more than willing to go off campus. Also, stay to well lit areas and such.

As far as self-defense, I would just carry a stun gun or something similar. Only use it in the case where you are getting raped. Any other case, just do what the fucker tells you to do. It's not a good idea to try to attack someone who is trying to steal your money, because he very well might have a gun and such.

bone daddy

It's also worth mentioning that gunshot wounds are not as lethal as most people believe they are. Unless you are shot in the chest or the head, if there is a hospital within a reasonable distance and you get medical attention right away, you will very likely survive. Most people are also not good shots when it comes to targets which are booking it in the opposite direction. And there's not much point to chasing someone down the street shooting at them unless the whole point was to kill them in the first place, in which case you're far better off running away than you were standing there. If, however, you get into a car with someone, you are very, very likely going to die, and most people would be hard-pressed to miss at point blank range.

Premier kakos

You wanna take the chance over $15 and your driver's license? Regardless of how likely you are to live (and that depends a whole lot on the caliber of the gun and such), you shouldn't even risk it. Dancing with death is a dangerous proposition.

bone daddy

In case you didn't notice, we're discussing more than simple robbery here. If you let someone threaten you into a car with a gun, your chances of ever being heard from again are not very good. Hell, the chances of someone finding your corpse aren't very good, when it comes down to it.

Xenogear_0001

Psycho_Chipmunk wrote:

and

I wouldn't recommend this unless she were fending off zombies.

Honestly, though, a stun gun/tazer seems like the best solution. It completely immobilizes it's target, and there's a good chance they'll shat themselves if you get 'em with it enough times. Let's see a rapist try something with a pant full of his own excrement. Surprisingly, they do have dignity. And let's not forget the cod-scorching capabilities of said defensive tool. Not only could she prevent her own rape, but likely the rape of future victims!

Senjutsu

Deusfaux wrote:

any links for canada? most of this stuff you cant jsut get, like a pistol or whatever...

Wait, she's here in E-Town? Coming off UofA campus?

You could just tell her to relax, cause fuck all ever happens around here (campus is by far the safest area in town), but why not just tell her to make use of Safewalk?

Edit: Saw your post about it, but it doesn't matter because you're quite wrong, as Safewalk's boundaries extend far past just 'on campus':

To the east, 91 Street (the Faculte St. Jean).
To the south, 72 Avenue and the University farm.
To the north and west, the North Saskatchewan River (we don't know how to swim!).
On the LRT, to any station and within three blocks. We also take the bus to Michener Park residence.

Corvus

canadian fire arms laws:

http://laws.justice.gc.ca/en/C-46/41140.html

I'm not reading through all that, but it might be useful info. You can actually carry a concealed weapon, if you get the appropriate licence, which I very much doubt your girlfriend could get.

cael

Get her to wear sneakers and get her to take up running.

They can't bone you if they can't catch you.

Andrew_Jay

Xenogear_0001 wrote:

Honestly, though, a stun gun/tazer seems like the best solution. It completely immobilizes it's target, and there's a good chance they'll shat themselves if you get 'em with it enough times. Let's see a rapist try something with a pant full of his own excrement. Surprisingly, they do have dignity.

I heard somewhere that if the victim does this; craps or pees in their own pants, it will completely turn-off any attacker and that it is actually a good tactic. And if the rapists insists on going ahead, lets face it, you didn't stand a chance anyway if you're up against someone that determined/fucking insane.

xeroismygod

Safe walk programs, buddy system, or securitty escort. Have her plan her walking routes out in well lit high traffic areas. Never use short cuts. Walking confidently helps alot as you don't appear to be an easy target.

As far as tazer/stun gun it will have to be kept in a purse or backpack. Not exactly an easy reach when a confrontation will occur very up close. If she walks with keys in hand a key chain mounted can of pepper spray or mace will work well due to easy access but if kept in pockets, backpack, or purse same accessability problem.

Worms

In all seriousness I'd avoid the guns, RPGs, knives, swords, axes, cannons or crossbows - your best bet is some basic self defence and the ability to run like hell. If you have a weapon then its likely to get used on you - if the person is stronger they can easily get it out of your hands, and most gun-related injuries (note: not talking military) are accidents - the person shoots a friend by accident or even themselves. It happens.

There are various tricks - you don't need to be strong. I'm not. Open palm, straight to the nose - do that the right way and their nose goes right into their brain. Fragged.

Also the ears - cup your palms, slam them down on the ears - it forces a lot of air into them. Do that the right way and you can disorient and disable someone - the ears deal with balance.

Finally you have the genitals - a quick knee to the groin will perturb a lot of people. Follow that with a liberal dash of running like hell, add a touch of screaming as loud as you fucking well can (one of those screecher alarm things can work wonders) and there you go.

If your girlfriend wears shoes with those big heels then tell her to take them off when she runs, but not to throw them away - you can probably hit someone over the head with one of them. Sounds silly and hardly as glamerous as going all Uma Thurman and pulling out a katana to chop his head off, but its better then nothing and I don't know what your laws are like - we can get a lot of trouble if we use more than 'equal' force (i.e. if they have a baseball bat you can't use a Vulcan cannon).

gazamc

There are alarm things you can get, which look exactly like a big sharpie. Take the cap of and push a button and it wails like you wouldn believe, alerting people in quite a large radius, and possibly deafining somebody if you hold it next to their ear.

Corvus

Richy wrote:

psych71 wrote:

I'm fairly sure tazers and the like are illegal in Canada.

I don't know what "the like" include for you, but just to be clear, pepper sprays are perfectly legal. Like I said earlier, my dad got one for my mom last year. We live in Québec, and he doesn't have any kind of special permit or anything.

Yeah, I think pepper spray is fine to buy, though I believe it is usually sold as "animal repellent" and I'm not sure of its legality as a self-defence weapon. By the like I meant tazers and other types of stun guns that use electricity to disable a person.

Tigress

Everyone pretty much said what I wanted to, so I'll just add a little here to flesh things out.

First of all, if your girlfriend is ever raped, it's probably not going to be "the dirty man in the bushes." 85% of all rapes are "date/acquaintence" rapes. In other words, she's going to know her attacker. Which just makes it easier for you to avenge her honor. :wink:

Guns are generally a bad idea. Not only can they be taken away and used against you, but most colleges ban their existence on campus. Some consider possession of a firearm on campus an offense worthy of expulsion.

Tasers are an iffy area, since they are the equivalent of carrying a live wire in your hand and can seriously fuck someone up. You may want to check with the laws in your area before getting her one.

Mace is a cheap, hurty solution and can be obtained at most places that sell weapons. (I love BudK.)I also highly encourage the martial arts route, which will teach her self-defense and get her some exercise. You can even volunteer to go with her.

I would recommend learning some knife-fighting, since you can carry a knife in most places that don't allow guns, but it carries the same stigma that guns do. Unless you are prepared to look someone in the eye and kill him, you're wasting your time and money.

Most importantly, tell your girlfriend that if a guy honks at her, for the love of God, don't respond. Even to tell the lech to fuck off. That only encourages the asshole to keep pestering her.