Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

Getting Married...what do I need to know?

Mr_GrinchMr_Grinch Registered User regular
edited March 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
Ok, so in less than 3 months I'll be married and off on my honeymoon to Orlando, which I'm pretty excited about given I've never been outside of Europe in my life.

However the wedding thing is pretty scary. Not being married, that bit I'm looking forward to, I'm not getting cold feet. I just don't really know what weddings involve.

My girlfriend, or fiance (Still not quite used to that) has done most of the organising, I just get my credit card out and pay for things. I've organised things I know stuff about, like music, entertainment and photography but the actual layout of the day has been down to her.

So what do I do? What do I need to know? I know I've got this church thing to go to in the morning, then a short car ride and then I arrive where the meal/evening reception is. What do I put in my speech? How long should it last?

And to add further confusion I've got lots of relatives coming that I haven't seen in years, I've got a horrendous memory and won't recognise a good 75% of them. How do I establish if they're my side of the family or hers?

So come on married men and women of H&A, lend me a hand.

Mr_Grinch on
Steam: Sir_Grinch
PSN: SirGrinchX
Xbox Live: SirGrinch X

Posts

  • toolberttoolbert Registered User
    edited March 2010
    First off, you're not going to eat...at all. I had my wedding dinner at a Denny's at like 2 AM. Everyone wants to come and talk to you and before you know it, your food has been taken away by someone cleaning up the place. I got like...a little bit, but that was mainly because we did this thing where you pass around the Mic and let people talk about you.

    My speech mainly revolved around family and friends. I remember talking about how happy I was that so many people could come and how greatly appreciative my wife and I were. Then I got back at the best man for his speech. He's going to say something embarrassing, so best to get a dig back at him in some way. My speech ran for about 10 minutes, which I think is a good amount of time. I wouldn't push past the 20 minute mark myself.

    As for your relatives, it's customary to have one side be the groom's side and the other be the bride's side. That could help you a little bit. Also, I know it can be a pain, but seating charts for the reception help tons with this. You can arrange people on tables and then you'd know who's who by where they sit. Some people don't like this, but it helped me a bunch.

    Good luck, I know its a pretty stressful day.

    Spoiler:
    twitter RB DLC
  • Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Austin, TXRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Well, first you need to know that your life is over. The sun won't shine as bright. Flowers won't smell as sweet. That spring in your step and gleam in your eye? Murdered and left in a wooded area wrapped in plastic.

    As far as the actual wedding, I guess it depends on how it's been planned. From my personal experience, once it started, I didn't have to do much but stand around and look pretty. I got to the church early, kinda hung out with my groomsmaids and answered any questions. My step-sister was pretty much handling the running of it, so I just listened to her. You will need someone running things, though, just to make sure people get to where they need to be and when.

    For ours, we had our ushers get everyone seated, then the organist started and the guys filed in, then the bridesmaids. Then the bride did the walk, we did the ceremony, then the procession out. After that, we all waited nearby while the organizer herded everyone to the reception, except family, then we did all the pictures. You can try to do some before the ceremony, but if you're sticking to the don't see the bride thing, it can be a little tough. After that, the others went to the reception while my wife and I went to change. That's up to you, I guess. We then did the receiving line coming into the reception, then did the cake while the best man gave his speech. I didn't give one. Then we mingled for a little while, then did the leaving thing, and that was that.

    So I guess the best advice I can give is get someone to run it for you (can be a family member). The day is going to be a blur so it's best if you just do what you're told. But remember, it's your (and your wife's) day, so don't focus too much on everything being perfect and just enjoy it.

    camo_sig2.png
  • Monolithic_DomeMonolithic_Dome Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Mr_Grinch wrote: »

    My girlfriend, or fiance (Still not quite used to that) has done most of the organising, I just get my credit card out and pay for things. I've organised things I know stuff about, like music, entertainment and photography but the actual layout of the day has been down to her.

    Far be it from me to tell other people how to work their relationships, but this concerns me. You might want to check in with her and see if she's feeling overwhelmed, maybe walk through the day with her and make note of what's left to decide/plan/do. Is there something you can take off her hands?

    Basically I'm saying that there is a non-zero chance that she is stressed the fuck out and feels like she has to do it all by herself. Maybe not, but checking in with her might be a good idea.

    As for the actual day, maybe I'm the wrong person to talk to since our wedding small and fairly low-key, but it's really not that hard. Have a plan, delegate everything you can to anyone you can, and do your best to relax.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Parental Unit RemulakRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Just listen to her

    If she wants you to be more involved, get more involved

    If she tells you that this is her day and she wants to plan more of it, back off a little

    Your most important job is to be at that altar no later than 20 minutes after the wedding starts

    Enjoy it, marriage isn't nearly as bad as they say

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    I get by on the knowledge that I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time mucking about inside of my asshole anyway
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    As it's a church wedding, do you not have a rehearsal? That usually clears up where you'll need to be walking/standing/what to do.

    I've not been to a wedding where the groom has made a speech, but if you are making one then I'd say keep it to around five minutes and don't include anything too risqué or potentially embarrassing, even if you think it's funny. My dad made a really lovely speech that lasted around twenty minutes, but he's an experienced public speaker and he was also the only person to make a speech.

    As for guests - take your cue from them. You'll probably be like a zombie anyway so they'll probably not expect you to know who they are. <img class=" title=":wink:" class="bbcode_smiley" /> But DO walk around and say hello and thank you for coming to EVERYONE. Your guests have spent time and money to come to the wedding and it's only polite that you acknowledge them. I've known people take real offense to a bride and groom who don't at least say a quick hello. I had several people tell me after my wedding that they really appreciated that I took the time to go over to every table and exchange a few words with everyone sitting there.

    Apart from all that...just go with the flow, it won't be that hard. As Sir Carcass says it really does go by in a blur. I barely remember a thing about my wedding, I was so sleep-deprived and nervous (thank goodness it was a small affair, I couldn't imagine spending a lot of money for a day I don't remember!), and from other people I've spoken to this is a fairly common experience to have.

    sharasugar_80.png sharanomsugar_80.png
  • Mr_GrinchMr_Grinch Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Mr_Grinch wrote: »

    My girlfriend, or fiance (Still not quite used to that) has done most of the organising, I just get my credit card out and pay for things. I've organised things I know stuff about, like music, entertainment and photography but the actual layout of the day has been down to her.

    Far be it from me to tell other people how to work their relationships, but this concerns me. You might want to check in with her and see if she's feeling overwhelmed, maybe walk through the day with her and make note of what's left to decide/plan/do. Is there something you can take off her hands?

    Basically I'm saying that there is a non-zero chance that she is stressed the fuck out and feels like she has to do it all by herself. Maybe not, but checking in with her might be a good idea.

    As for the actual day, maybe I'm the wrong person to talk to since our wedding small and fairly low-key, but it's really not that hard. Have a plan, delegate everything you can to anyone you can, and do your best to relax.

    She pretty much planned the wedding before I even met her, she's got a good idea of what she wants to do. However I exagerated above a bit, I haven't been completely out of the way. Generally she's happy organising everything but if she gets stressed out, or something isn't going right and she needs the florist chasing up and hassling, or something is wrong with the bridesmaids dresses, she gets me involved.

    I'm not just sat on my arse and she's doing it all, but I am staying out of the way unless she needs me (then she knows she can call on me, and does). If she needs to delegate she knows I'm more than willing to help.

    And I've just noticed joshofalltrades nicely summed up what I just typed.

    Cheers for all the advice up to now guys. I keep trying to remember how other weddings I've been to went down but they're all a blur!

    Steam: Sir_Grinch
    PSN: SirGrinchX
    Xbox Live: SirGrinch X
  • Monolithic_DomeMonolithic_Dome Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Good! Some more random advice I just thought of:

    -You know how everyone says "you won't have time to eat?" Fuck em. Eat.

    -Also, have snacks on hand. You might save the day if shit gets busy

    -We decided to replace the drunk n' sleepy wedding night fumbling with some excited and alert wedding morning nookie. I do not regret this decision.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • DeebaserDeebaser Alpha Teemo Fake Board GamerRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Mr_Grinch wrote: »
    My girlfriend, or fiance (Still not quite used to that) has done most of the organising, I just get my credit card out and pay for things. I've organised things I know stuff about, like music, entertainment and photography but the actual layout of the day has been down to her.

    Unless you're very financially stable, you might want to get a little more involved than this. Weddings cost a metric fuckton and everyone she's planning with probably knows exactly what to say to get her to shell out as much as possible for her special day. Of course I mean absolutely no disrespect to your wife-to-be, but while planning this she needs to deal with a lot of professional salesmen that prey on emotions.

    Of course, YMMV and Congrats!

  • urahonkyurahonky Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Grinch I'll tell you what my wife told me before we got married: Just show up and be sober at the wedding. That's all you really need to do. Don't be nervous up there, everyone's looking at her anyway. :P

    Games completed recently: Dead Island: Riptide, Batman: Arkham Origins, StarCraft 2: Heart of the Swarm, StarCraft 2: Wings of Liberty, Dragon's Crown
  • badpoetbadpoet Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Mr_Grinch wrote: »
    My girlfriend, or fiance (Still not quite used to that) has done most of the organising, I just get my credit card out and pay for things. I've organised things I know stuff about, like music, entertainment and photography but the actual layout of the day has been down to her.

    Unless you're very financially stable, you might want to get a little more involved than this. Weddings cost a metric fuckton and everyone she's planning with probably knows exactly what to say to get her to shell out as much as possible for her special day. Of course I mean absolutely no disrespect to your wife-to-be, but while planning this she needs to deal with a lot of professional salesmen that prey on emotions.

    Of course, YMMV and Congrats!

    As someone who was paying for his wedding years after it (long after I divorced) due to incurring large credit card bills, I would suggest you pay for as much as you can with cash or your checking account and if there's a big expense that you can forgo or get cheaper I would do that.

    A wedding is one day. Credit card bills can almost last a lifetime.

    If your wife-to-be balks because she's had this perfect day planned for years, I would remind her of all the things you may be passing on in the future due to credit card bills for one day.

    About the day itself. You'll have a rehearsal to deal with the logistics. But, make sure your best man is paying attention so he'll help you out if you forget something in your excitement.

  • A BearA Bear Registered User
    edited March 2010
    It will go very fast.

    Arrange someone ahead of time to make sure you eat. My in-laws paid a lot for some great food--I was sure going to have some of it.

    Have fun. But not too much fun. My wedding was a complete blast. The open bar and the dance floor were used all night, even after my wife and I went off to our hotel. I drank a lot, but made sure I knew my limits.

    This is the bride's day--most of the time she is going to be the focus, so make sure she is doing ok. Also, this puts some pressure off you. But remember, you are part of the whole thing as well, so maybe don't make it all about her. Do your part.

    I don't remember giving a speech at my wedding... Is this common? Plan it out ahead, and maybe have stuff written down. Think about who your audience is, and how formal/causal your event is going to be. My reception was outdoors and "semiformal" so nobody needed flowery soliloquies.

    You are going to meet a ton of people, some you won't know. Just have some basic stock things to say about how great the whole day is and how glad everyone could come out. Keep in mind that this event is basically a huge party, with you as the host--you will be greeting everyone. There will be people there you might really want to spend time with who you wont get but minutes with.

    Your groomsmen are there to help you out if something happens. Its somehow reassuring to know you have a crew of your good friends there to back you up.

    I'm glad you aren't worried about the being married part though... because that has some surprises, I'll tell ya.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Your fiancee is probably the best person to ask about what you need to do when. Also rehearsals are important, if your fiancee hasn't planned one you might want to suggest it.

    Neither my husband or I gave speeches at our wedding but we did write our own vows. At most of the weddings I have been to the best man and maid of honor make speeches - if you are expecting this you should probably tell them. My maid of honor and my little sister both had speeches written but apparently it came as a total surprise to my husband's best man that he was expected to make a speech. I made sure we got some food. Enjoy it. Make sure you have lots of people taking pictures, my uncle and my best friend were both taking pictures in addition to the professional photographers and they got some really special shots.

    Basically have fun. And make sure you have a comfy bed for your wedding night :P

    Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
  • FallingmanFallingman Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Man... Think you have it tough? I have to have 2 weddings! I only have a week and a half to go! And I have a list of things to do in that time, and no weekends left in which to do them...

    Also, I'm nursing bruises from my Stag weekend.

    The kicker? We also have the Mother-in-law staying.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    A Bear wrote: »
    It will go very fast.

    Congratulations!

    But seriously, please don't go into debit for a wedding.

    Also, you know the average temp in Orlando in June, right? Average high is 90F, so that's...carry the 1, divide by purple, add a bear...32.2C. Also daily rain showers are pretty common. Will just cloud up, downpour for 10 minutes, then be done for the day. I assume going to Disney World?

    Excision wrote: »
    My girlfriend is going down tonight!

    Steam:MichaelLC
  • CooterTKECooterTKE Registered User
    edited March 2010
    Be prepared for your face to hurt from smiling all damn day. Again you will not eat much so dont drink a lot until the whole thing is over with. Don't expect the wedding night to be this great sex thing because you both will be so tired. Also don't worry about what is going on around you as this is for your and your wife. Oh yeah practice what your vows are because it took me 3 tries i was so nervous.

  • NylonathetepNylonathetep Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    urahonky wrote: »
    Grinch I'll tell you what my wife told me before we got married: Just show up and be sober at the wedding. That's all you really need to do. Don't be nervous up there, everyone's looking at her anyway. :P

    This is great advice right here. You worry about helping her before the wedding, and then not seeing her at all the day of until the actual ceremony (probably not the night before, either). Everyone will be staring at your wife, except your groomsmen who will be eyeing up her bridesmaids... :winky:

    And for god's sake, pick up your tux at least 3-4 days before the wedding. Mine was all sorts of fucked up, and created a ton of stress as my father raced through the backass roads of Vermont trying to pick up a pair of pants they forgot to add.

    Honeymoon stuff: Make sure, when you get to Disney, that you tell them you're on the honeymoon. They'll hook you right the fuck up. You'll get a button that says "Just Married" (and maybe a "First Visit" if that's the case), and while everyone there is always nice as hell, this'll get you some special treatment. My wife and I had some extra time with Mickey and Minnie, for instance, and they put us in a bunch of poses with them. It was really cute, and pretty funny to watch the kids getting all impatient in line. ;-)

    Also, there is a Publix (I think... might be Kroger) right near the resort. Go there and stock up on stuff for the room like granola bars, fruit, and other stuff for breakfast. It'll save you a ton of money on breakfast, and our room at least had a fridge inside (we stayed at the Animal Kingdom). If you're looking for a cheap lunch or dinner, Golden Corral is right nearby too, and is an awesome buffet. In the park, I highly recommend both nice restaurants in Animal Kingdom. Jiko is a sit down fahncy restaurant with some pretty exotic dishes, including a small ostrich steak for an appetizer. Boma is a buffet with a ton of great soups and entrees that are (supposedly) African fare. The best part here is that if you like a dish, they'll give you the recipe!

    The note about the temperature is important... go to the parks as early as possible, go somewhere indoors to relax during the afternoon, and go back to the parks in the late afternoon/early evening. You'll save yourself a lot of heat exhaustion.

    steam_sig.png
    WiiU: Windrunner ; Guild Wars 2: Shadowfire.3940 ; PSN: Bradcopter
  • RUNN1NGMANRUNN1NGMAN Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    If you're having a traditional reception, talk to the caterer and have them set up a hot dog bar (or something equally random) towards the end of the night. Everyone will be pretty hammered by that point, and a random spread of junk food appearing out of nowhere is awesome. We did this at our wedding and it's become legendary. If you're not down with hot dogs, maybe chicken nuggets with lots of different dipping sauces.

  • KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Oh, if it is going to be outdoors bring sunscreen for your fiance. We spent all sorts of time planning for rain and bad weather. Then the day of our wedding it was sunny and gorgeous and I ended up with really bad sunburn on my boobs.

    It depends on the energy level/length of your reception but my husband and I were both still wired when we got back to our room. We didn't stay till the end of the reception and I don't regret that at all.

    Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    If you're having a traditional reception, talk to the caterer and have them set up a hot dog bar (or something equally random) towards the end of the night.

    He's English. Clearly it would be fish & chips, with a spot of tea.

    Excision wrote: »
    My girlfriend is going down tonight!

    Steam:MichaelLC
  • devCharlesdevCharles Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Mr_Grinch wrote: »
    Ok, so in less than 3 months I'll be married and off on my honeymoon to Orlando, which I'm pretty excited about given I've never been outside of Europe in my life.

    I live a couple hours from Orlando, and I've been there a bunch of times, so if you want some advice about that, I have some advice to offer.

    1. Park food tends to be kind of overpriced and kind of not worth it. Luckily, Disney tends to let you leave at your leisure.

    2. Orlando = Urban Sprawl. Unless you're just sticking to Disney and not Universal Studios or some of the other Orlando stuff, you might want to check out renting a car that comes with a GPS device of some kind.

    3. Florida has some incredible fruits. Get some strawberries and oranges.

    4. Florida is doing its best to bring its tourism up to pre bust levels. There are tons of deals available for tourists as it has now become a subsidized market. This includes stuff like 7 day cruises out of Tampa and Miami for a couple hundred dollars a person. Florida is in the sub tropics after all. Might as well experience it.

    5. I had a British friend visit Orlando, and from what I understand, he tipped more people than is actually customary here in the US because they were pushy. 15-20% for restaurants and taxis.

    Xbox Live: Hero Protag
    SteamID: devCharles
    twitter: https://twitter.com/charlesewise
  • DeebaserDeebaser Alpha Teemo Fake Board GamerRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    If you're having a traditional reception, talk to the caterer and have them set up a hot dog bar (or something equally random) towards the end of the night. Everyone will be pretty hammered by that point, and a random spread of junk food appearing out of nowhere is awesome. We did this at our wedding and it's become legendary. If you're not down with hot dogs, maybe chicken nuggets with lots of different dipping sauces.

    This is the most brilliant idea ever.

  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    My wedding was so uncomplicated. No rehearsal dinner, no rehearsal ceremony, small wedding party, ceremony lasted about 10-15 minutes, took pictures in the afternoon (her aunt is a professional photographer and took all our pictures for free), hung out with some family for the afternoon. For the reception we had it for $500 the whole night, DJ was cheap, food was cheap, booze was cheap. Everyone ate, danced, and had fun. Long day, but soooo not as stressful as TV shows or movies would have you believe. Maybe the $20,000 weddings are stressful, but ours was dirt cheap and we paid for it all up front.

  • SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS
    edited March 2010
    Congrats Mr. Grinch. I get married in 3 weeks and am also going to Florida.

    Basically the prewife has done everything and, like you, I was in charge of providing the credit card number and music. Which I still need to finish working on.

    QlBGc.jpg
  • mjn6172mjn6172 Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    A Bear wrote: »
    It will go very fast.

    Congratulations!

    But seriously, please don't go into debt for a wedding.

    Also, you know the average temp in Orlando in June, right? Average high is 90F, so that's...carry the 1, divide by purple, add a bear...32.2C. Also daily rain showers are pretty common. Will just cloud up, downpour for 10 minutes, then be done for the day. I assume going to Disney World?

    This, this, a THOUSAND TIMES this! I live about 90 minutes from Orlando now, and I actually lived there for about 5 years right after college. Yes, it's hot, but more than that it's painfully, almost suffocatingly humid. Be prepared for that. Drink plenty of water, take plenty of rests, and if it's too damn nasty outside go back to your hotel for a few hours. Seriously, I see tourists dropping like flies from the heat, so make sure you take care of yourself.

    Other than that, have a great time on your honeymoon. If you're staying at one of the Disney hotels make sure that you tell them it's for your honeymoon. They'll give you the "Just Married" pins, and usually the staff sets up some surprises for you. Also, if you haven't done so already MAKE RESERVATIONS AT THE RESTAURANTS YOU WANT TO EAT AT IN THE PARK! Popular places fill up VERY fast, especially any character dining like Donald's Safari Breakfast. Yes, eating inside the parks is more expensive than if you eat outside, but it's also a lot of fun if you enjoy that sort of thing. Epcot, in particular, has some unique and entertaining places to eat. In fact, if you want a suggestion, try eating lunch at the Restaurant Marrakesh in Epcot. Great food, and the live music/belly dancers are a lot of fun.

    For hearts long lost and full of fright
    For those alone in blackest night
    Accept our ring and join our fight
    Love conquers all
    With violet light!
  • krushkrush Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    After the ceremony, on the plane back home from Orlando, just remember this one thing:



    She's always right.



    Get that into your head and you'll do fine.

    Congrats.

  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    If you're having a traditional reception, talk to the caterer and have them set up a hot dog bar (or something equally random) towards the end of the night. Everyone will be pretty hammered by that point, and a random spread of junk food appearing out of nowhere is awesome. We did this at our wedding and it's become legendary. If you're not down with hot dogs, maybe chicken nuggets with lots of different dipping sauces.

    I'm so stealing this.

    "Adios, mofo" -- TX Gov Rick Perry (R)
  • LaPuzzaLaPuzza Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Congrats!

    There are 2 keys to a successful wedding. You've got the first one down: get out of the bride's way prior to the wedding.

    The other, and equally important, point is to get a great best man.

    There are hundreds of things that a great best man will do for you. For example, you know all that stuff that the bride wants you to do that she never told you because you're supposed to magically know? Your best man talks to the maid of honor and tells you those things. Priest wants to renegotiate his fee while you're supposed to be having your first dance (this one happened to me)? Give your best man the checkbook and go dance with your wife . Can't find that relative that your mom demands be in one of the pictures? Best man goes in search while you knock out the other pictures. DJ tries to take over your wedding? Best man, whether by threat or bribe or stolen mic, to the rescue.

    Drunk relatives, interference between exes, toasts, managing your other members of the wedding party, the list goes on forever.

    Pick the most responsible of your closest friends/family. Buy him a beer and tell him that he's your best man. When he says he's honored and would love to do it, say that you're relieved because you really need his help.

    The night before my wedding, my best man and I were out drinking after the traditional dinner. Afraid that I'd be hungover the next day, he kept stealing my scotch and shooting it when I wasn't looking. That's the guy you need in your corner.

    If I didn't know LaPuzza wasn't a spambot I would think that was a spambot post.
  • Mr_GrinchMr_Grinch Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Cheers for the advice guys, I tend to do a lot of my forum browsing on an ipod touch at work so I've held off replying to this thread till now I'm home (I can only really skim read on that thing):

    Someone mentioned GPS, I've got that covered, mainly because I don't trust my map reading/directional skills. I'm pinching my parents GPS as they got the Florida maps not too long back. Silly question but does a UK car cigarette adapter work in an American car? I assume it's the same voltage.

    Again, above was mentioned best man. I've got an awesome best man and FOUR ushers (I think they're called Groom's men on the other side of the pond?), they'll do whatever I tell them because they get awesome suits out of it and free drinks. Not to mention they're all my best friends. But it's mainly the drinks thing.

    Disney - We'll let them know it's our honeymoon but we're not actually stopping in a disney hotel, we looked at prices and what not and for the same price were able to get a Villa and Car hire for the same as a room in Disney. Sure it's our honeymoon but we still want to be fairly frugal, anything we save is going towards a deposit for a house. We also get a villa with a swimming pool, a small games room (Air Hockey will cause an early divorce no doubt) and enough room to sleep 9 people. Plenty of different rooms ;)

    The hotdogs idea sounds great, we've got something similar that I absolutely insisted on. I'm very well known from my friends for BBQs, I love having them and put them on WHATEVER the weather. Rain? Pah, won't stop me. Winds? They just help with the flames. Snow? A trifle, it melts on my grill. In fact....
    Spoiler:

    So with that in mind I insisted on having a BBQ in the evening. The venue is putting on some pretty huge grills to help cater for 120 people. Should the weather be shit (likely in the UK), they'll cook it in the same style and just serve it inside. So that should be food covered and give people something to do/talk about.

    All the other advice (about Florida too, I really didn't know what to expect) is very much appreciated, and it's nice to know plenty of you made it through the experience alive :)

    Steam: Sir_Grinch
    PSN: SirGrinchX
    Xbox Live: SirGrinch X
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I'd like to add that, whatever chores/running around/driving you may need to do on the day, don't underestimate how long it may take you!

    We were up at 6 am and the wedding wasn't until 2 pm. We thought we'd have plenty of time...and suddenly it was 1:20 pm and we hadn't even made it home to get changed! My husband and I had precisely fifteen minutes in which to get dressed, style hair and do my make-up and my sister's make-up...that is the only regret I have from the day. I looked a wreck!

    sharasugar_80.png sharanomsugar_80.png
  • A Dabble Of TheloniusA Dabble Of Thelonius Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    GungHo wrote: »
    RUNN1NGMAN wrote: »
    If you're having a traditional reception, talk to the caterer and have them set up a hot dog bar (or something equally random) towards the end of the night. Everyone will be pretty hammered by that point, and a random spread of junk food appearing out of nowhere is awesome. We did this at our wedding and it's become legendary. If you're not down with hot dogs, maybe chicken nuggets with lots of different dipping sauces.

    I'm so stealing this.

    Taco bar!

    TuckSig.jpg
    Steam - Talon Valdez : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk
  • SelnerSelner Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    toolbert wrote: »
    First off, you're not going to eat...at all. I had my wedding dinner at a Denny's at like 2 AM. Everyone wants to come and talk to you and before you know it, your food has been taken away by someone cleaning up the place. I got like...a little bit, but that was mainly because we did this thing where you pass around the Mic and let people talk about you.

    My speech mainly revolved around family and friends...

    Actually, make sure you eat at some point. Especially if there is going to be drinking involved at the Reception.

    I was at one wedding where the groom was helped to his room to pass out, in the middle of the Reception. Don't be that guy :) .

    Me and my wife actually had two bridesmaids stage an "intervention" while we were doing the rounds at the Reception. There were basically "you must eat your dinner!".

    And one Reception hall we looked at actually said they arrange with the caterer to allow the bride and groom (and wedding party) to have a bit of dinner "back stage" before they are introduced at the Reception.
    I thought that was a great idea.

    And what's this about a speech? I didn't give a speech at my wedding. Best man, maid of honor and the wife's parents said something. I think my only "speech" was a couple words I said at the Rehearsal Dinner.

  • RUNN1NGMANRUNN1NGMAN Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Selner wrote: »
    toolbert wrote: »
    First off, you're not going to eat...at all. I had my wedding dinner at a Denny's at like 2 AM. Everyone wants to come and talk to you and before you know it, your food has been taken away by someone cleaning up the place. I got like...a little bit, but that was mainly because we did this thing where you pass around the Mic and let people talk about you.

    My speech mainly revolved around family and friends...

    Actually, make sure you eat at some point. Especially if there is going to be drinking involved at the Reception.

    I was at one wedding where the groom was helped to his room to pass out, in the middle of the Reception. Don't be that guy :) .

    Me and my wife actually had two bridesmaids stage an "intervention" while we were doing the rounds at the Reception. There were basically "you must eat your dinner!".

    And one Reception hall we looked at actually said they arrange with the caterer to allow the bride and groom (and wedding party) to have a bit of dinner "back stage" before they are introduced at the Reception.
    I thought that was a great idea.

    And what's this about a speech? I didn't give a speech at my wedding. Best man, maid of honor and the wife's parents said something. I think my only "speech" was a couple words I said at the Rehearsal Dinner.

    At my wedding we had a sort of "VIP" room for the wedding party, where everyone could stash there stuff, and there was food for everyone there.

    We also didn't have a head table--we just sat with everyone else. This made it a lot easier to eat because we weren't the focal point during dinner and it was harder for people to interrupt us.

    I didn't get any cake though, so we ended up eating our top layer the next day :)

  • LaPuzzaLaPuzza Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    We didn't have tourble getting to the food - we were sent through the line first and ate while the line was forming. Also, we did lunch at the church beforehand with the wedding party.

    Drinking: I managed to have a few, but my wife only had a glass for the toast. 5 guys in tuxes makes it much easier to sneak away as the groom than being the girl in the white dress.

    If I didn't know LaPuzza wasn't a spambot I would think that was a spambot post.
  • illiricaillirica Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    One other thing I'd add is that you should not be afraid to tell people what YOU want to do on your wedding day. You know all those folks you've spent these three months hiring... YOU hired them. They're there to do what you want, not what they want. Keep in mind that these things may not necessarily coincide.

    When my husband and I got married, I remember that our photographer (who was really very good) kept wanting to do more pictures, more pictures, drive to different locations for more pictures, etc. We had chosen to do the pictures between the ceremony and the reception (don't know what you're planning) and eventually we just had to tell her enough. Everyone was tired and really sick of pictures, so we had to make the call that it was time to stop, even if she wanted to keep taking more pictures.

    So, for people like the photographer, the DJ, whoever you're having, just remember that they're there to make you happy, not to make you miserable, and if you want them to do something differently, it's okay to go tell them so.


    As far as the next few months, just try to be patient with your wife-to-be. She's probably under a lot of stress with all the planning. You would not believe how many seemingly insignificant decisions need to be made. When she's had a long session of deciding what font should be used on the napkins, be there to reassure her that everything will be just fine - because it will. And seriously, in five years, you're gonna have no friggin' idea what font was on those napkins, even though it took like 45 minutes to decide beforehand.

  • Mostlyjoe13Mostlyjoe13 Thanks Gort! The Dream RealmRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Grinch, I know you think you trust your Map skills, but this is Orlando we're talking about. Especially the I-4/Disney exchanges. Cthulu's colon has fewer twists and wrong turns. No, seriously. Your real best bet? Take the shuttles servies if they are offered. Plan plenty of rest stops in the parks. You will be walking. Lots of walking. Get water bottles with carry straps.

    The parks themselves have interesting events you can take part of if you go at good times. Epcot has a great breakfast that happens just after the Park opens, but before the World Showcase does. Go to Norway (the fake one) and get yourself a nice Breakfast! Keep an eye out for Speed Pass stations. You can pre-reserve times in line and avoid hours of standing around. Espcially since your going during Tourist Season. Sorry. June-August is the worst time of year to hit the parks. Do one park a day and don't try to do everything or you will kill yourself.

    Odd tidbits. Everyone goes counterclockwise at Disney World. (Something about Future World.) Go clockwise early on and get your Speed Passes. Disney World also has a nice rail line that will take you around the outside of the park. Use it. Don't rely on the Monorail. Ride it once, but during heavy tourist season it breaks down a lot. Disney offers busses. Very nice. Do Disney World during the week, Animal Kingdom/Epcot/Disney Studio during the weekends. The crowds work in these cycles. If you want to go into Orlando proper. DO: Hit south International Drive. The resturants there are nice. Avoid North International Drive, it's a dump. DO: Enjoy the Malls, we have plenty. Avoid Orange Blossom Trail, it's not exactly tourist friendly. If your driving DO use the toll roads as they are clearly marked. Avoid trying the backroads for shortcuts. Again, Cthulu's Colon issue going on there. Locals handle it okay, outsiders often get horribly lost.

    The other thing is that Florida is in the sub-tropics. Expect rain at 3-5pm daily. And it's going to be Tropical style rain. Heavy. The parks have places to hide, but the rain can run from 1-2 hours at a time.

    It's been stressed before but: MAKE RESERVATIONS AT THE RESTAURANTS YOU WANT TO EAT AT IN THE PARK!

    No honestly. Save yourself the headache. Oh, and Heaven Help you if your going to hit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal. It's going to be a madhouse.

    Oh personal favorite park for food? Epcot. I love to have Dinner in Japan. But reservations fill up fast. Get them in around 10-11 am or the day before if you can. Nothing like a little Saki and grilled meat eh? Also, all the parks have convience phones righ at the entrances and at bathrooms/rest areas around the park. These phones connect to guest relations. They'll do the reservations for you!

    steam_sig.png
    PSN ID - Mostlyjoe Steam ID -mostlydeadman
  • zktzkt Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Have you guys never seen a single episode of Married with children???

  • EWomEWom Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I had to pay pay 100% of my wedding myself.
    It cost me Seventy Five US Dollars.

    Courthouse marriage for the motherfucking win.

    My advice to you is to make sure she doesn't get wrapped up in the idea that she's going to have a perfect wedding. I don't know what its like in Europe but in America there's this idea that you have to spend 10x what you make in a year for your wedding, or you fail at life, and should just kill yourself and make room for people who are willing to do that.

    That's not true at all, and people who believe are actually the ones who need to be put down.

    The simpler she keeps things, and you keep things, the happier you she and you will be. I guarantee things will go wrong and not be exactly how you/she wants them, and thats going to happen no matter what. So the more elaborate and fantastic the wedding is, the more there is that has a chance to fail horribly. Keep that in mind.

    The best piece of advice I can give though, is you said you are in charge of the music, make sure the DJ/Band knows that under no circumstances is The Chicken Dance, Thriller, or YMCA to be played.

    I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. - Thomas Jefferson

    The goal of our founding fathers was freedom. The goal of our current politicians is control.
Sign In or Register to comment.