Consensus seems to be the general approach of the middle left one. Do you dig that kind of font, as well, or should I swap in another and stick with that general design?
Work is a bit heavier this week so I might shirk working on this some; I gotta cough up 4ish hours of adventure game dialogue about lake ecosystems by Friday.
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited July 2010
If you go with the middle left more, the O stops my eye from reading "ver"- I'm not sure why but maybe someone else could pitch an idea to make Over read more like one word.
So I am aware the chain makes this really unbalanced, but it is another direction.
The watch really needs to be in here, I feel, and I'd like to suggest some flames/fire somewhere, as well, but it ends up looking real over-ornate when I wedge both in.
Hmm, have you thought about decreasing the size of the chain links? Initially it read to me as some kind of bizarre ball and chain. Took me a few seconds to piece together that it was a watch.
To build on the "thinner chain" idea, perhaps you could also make it longer, weaving through or encircling the entire logo to help with balance. Also, pocketwatch chains usually end with some kind of T-bar or loop device, which will give you more ink to work with.
Small nitpick: 4th panel, the dialog in the bottom half of the bubble looks centered slightly to the bottom and right. But man I love that STOP OR I'LL SHOOT panel with the shotgun. It rules.
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited July 2010
My only problem is a kind of logic one: if the place is up in flames, would what I presume is the owner hold people at gunpoint inside the burning building?
My only problem is a kind of logic one: if the place is up in flames, would what I presume is the owner hold people at gunpoint inside the burning building?
Hmm. You may be onto something.
My feeling on it was he hears trouble, runs out of his office with his shotgun, goes holy shit and just reacts, since on top of the fact that the building's catching rapidly on fire this guy appears to be menacing a patron and, at this point, apparently barring her escape.
Seems that Miss Dauterive would find it good business to keep the house owner on her side.
From traditional westerns -- well, The Shootist at least -- the bartender/owner always shows up after the fight with a double-barrel shotgun. It's what they do. They clean up.
The fires may give him pause, but I'm seeing him as wanting to protect his #1 contributor of kickbacks.
One could also interpret it as him having familiarity with the outlaw (from the wanted posters). He could just want him to get out before he deals with the secondary yet important issue of the whole fire thing.
Also, I love this new page. My only comment would be that her pose in frame 1 may be a little awkward, mostly because it feels like her shoulders are forward in a way that doesn't make much sense for someone recoiling. I really like her pose and expression in the last panel, though.
Well if my establishment was already up in flames, and not just beginning to burn, than the first thing on my mind would be who am I going to point this shotgun at.
Agh. Help, gang. I'm having some kind of block where I can't decide between two equally dull and obvious layouts for page 12!
Apologies for the extreme roughness of these thumbnails. I think the only key thing that might not come through in them, though, is an amount of focus on the coins on the table as Hunter makes a show of paying for his drinks despite, you know, fire.
I like the first because the lower angle, central placement, and wall-breaking agrees with the fact that Hunter has all the power in this scene. Even though that dude has a shotgun, he's not calling any shots and should be a small figure in the corner. Mizz Dauterive is defeated and similarly off to the side. I'm not getting that same feel from the second layout.
I wasn't thrown off by the flip in panel 2 -- you're still technically within the 180 rule there -- but maybe not go with a complete turnaround... maybe 120 degrees or so?
An idea: If you want to focus on the coin, instead of dropping it, how about if he flips it in the air? It can land with a *ching* in the second panel. If you turn the angle in the second panel a little less, the coin's flight arc could go directly from the launch in panel 1 to landing on the table in panel 2. Hard to say if that would work without looking silly.
I like the first because the lower angle, central placement, and wall-breaking agrees with the fact that Hunter has all the power in this scene.
Agreed, panel 1's composition in your first direction has much stronger narrative connotations. The first frame in your second direction is a lot more vanilla, in a "here's a scene" kind of way.
So I am aware the chain makes this really unbalanced, but it is another direction.
The watch really needs to be in here, I feel, and I'd like to suggest some flames/fire somewhere, as well, but it ends up looking real over-ornate when I wedge both in.
First I want to say I really love the colors you use and the design of the flames. You really know how to make flames pop and you're not afraid to emphasize that fact, very cool.
I won't lie though, this logo is bothering the crap out of me. You have the right instincts concerning the chain. I go to O, then I go to the R because the chain leads me right over the ve (ironically enough.)
I have one suggestion. Perhaps make the O a ring of fire with gears inside of it to symbolize the clock? Who says it has to be literal, logos often aren't. You could possibly do a similar thing with the first letters in the other words.
I'd play around with it a lot more. It's going to define your product after all, put as much time as you can into it.
I really like the dynamism of Hunter coming out of the frame in the first example. Plus composition-wise it's just a more dramatic beat for his exit. Though it might steal the thunder of him coming face to face with Vane in the last panel.
If you stick with the first one, you could probably avoid the flip effect by drawing his exit from a 3/4 view.
I liked having more panel diversity in option 2, but the more I looked at it the more I felt like I was getting panel diversity at the expense of angle/composition diversity. Option 2's first panel feels kind of samey.
In the name of pressing on I'm going with the first one, because I also like how de-emphasized everyone but Hunter is in it. Breaking the 180 rule is vaguely bothersome, but when I shift panel 2 to 3/4 it doesn't look any more clear, IMO, and I'm having some trouble emphasizing the coin as well when I have to shift the table elsewhere in the shot.
You'll have to let me know once I finish it if it looks too broken or not.
I won't lie though, this logo is bothering the crap out of me. You have the right instincts concerning the chain. I go to O, then I go to the R because the chain leads me right over the ve (ironically enough.)
I have one suggestion. Perhaps make the O a ring of fire with gears inside of it to symbolize the clock? Who says it has to be literal, logos often aren't. You could possibly do a similar thing with the first letters in the other words.
I'd play around with it a lot more. It's going to define your product after all, put as much time as you can into it.
Yeah, that logo was kind of a forced iteration; it's my least favorite of all of them so far. I might give a ring of fire a shot when I get back at it.
I like the first thumbnail, and if you're worried about the 180 degree flip from panel 1 to 2, you could do panel 1 as it is (because that's an awesome as hell first panel) then panel 2 could be a side profile shot of his stride out of the burning bar (medium close up style to pull it in) and the last panel could be an over the should shot as you have it, but his pov, which would successfully keep the flow of the point of view spinning 180 and also pull your reader into his pov for the startle of seeing the lady. (I assume startle?)
It forces your reader to share in his reaction by giving them the same view as him.
Also, if you wanted to do a 1 oclock, 3 oclock, 6 oclock pov progression of panels, switch hands that he secures his hat with, so his hand doesn't obscure the face in the turn.
This is all of course if you are really weary of the 180 rule, I personally like it very much as is in the first set up.
Hey squiddy, if you've got some time you may want to give this podcast a listen on logos.
It looks like you have your process down, but the more info the more better, right?
Oh yeah, sorry about that. I'm so used to fast forwarding past their lead-in I didn't even think about it.
They talk about what they're doing and what shows they're going to and don't actually hit the topic until about ten minutes in. Do yourself a favor and skip all that chatter. It's as boring as a day job.
Hey squiddy, if you've got some time you may want to give this podcast a listen on logos.
It looks like you have your process down, but the more info the more better, right?
Hoooooly shit. The third logo they have there is completely undecipherable. There's an E in there, and either an R or a retarded P, but wow. Jesus Christ.
Soooo, pages 12 and 13 are in simultaneous development; I'll post 'em soon. Laterally, I've gotta put together a sample cover and am trying to decide on a direction. Disregard placeholder logo.
I like both, although I might prefer the first one since it shows both the main characters and their faces, whereas in the second one you only see John's face. The second one is still good, but the first one would probably be better as the cover for a first issue.
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Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
No, actually I agree more with Mustang
Work is a bit heavier this week so I might shirk working on this some; I gotta cough up 4ish hours of adventure game dialogue about lake ecosystems by Friday.
The watch really needs to be in here, I feel, and I'd like to suggest some flames/fire somewhere, as well, but it ends up looking real over-ornate when I wedge both in.
Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
Small nitpick: 4th panel, the dialog in the bottom half of the bubble looks centered slightly to the bottom and right. But man I love that STOP OR I'LL SHOOT panel with the shotgun. It rules.
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Hmm. You may be onto something.
My feeling on it was he hears trouble, runs out of his office with his shotgun, goes holy shit and just reacts, since on top of the fact that the building's catching rapidly on fire this guy appears to be menacing a patron and, at this point, apparently barring her escape.
I'd love for someone else to weigh in.
From traditional westerns -- well, The Shootist at least -- the bartender/owner always shows up after the fight with a double-barrel shotgun. It's what they do. They clean up.
The fires may give him pause, but I'm seeing him as wanting to protect his #1 contributor of kickbacks.
Also, I love this new page. My only comment would be that her pose in frame 1 may be a little awkward, mostly because it feels like her shoulders are forward in a way that doesn't make much sense for someone recoiling. I really like her pose and expression in the last panel, though.
Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
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Apologies for the extreme roughness of these thumbnails. I think the only key thing that might not come through in them, though, is an amount of focus on the coins on the table as Hunter makes a show of paying for his drinks despite, you know, fire.
I wasn't thrown off by the flip in panel 2 -- you're still technically within the 180 rule there -- but maybe not go with a complete turnaround... maybe 120 degrees or so?
An idea: If you want to focus on the coin, instead of dropping it, how about if he flips it in the air? It can land with a *ching* in the second panel. If you turn the angle in the second panel a little less, the coin's flight arc could go directly from the launch in panel 1 to landing on the table in panel 2. Hard to say if that would work without looking silly.
I'd say go with what's cooler here, so, the first one. It'll look more intelligible once you work it out properly, anyway.
Agreed, panel 1's composition in your first direction has much stronger narrative connotations. The first frame in your second direction is a lot more vanilla, in a "here's a scene" kind of way.
Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
The first panel on that page is brilliant though.
First I want to say I really love the colors you use and the design of the flames. You really know how to make flames pop and you're not afraid to emphasize that fact, very cool.
I won't lie though, this logo is bothering the crap out of me. You have the right instincts concerning the chain. I go to O, then I go to the R because the chain leads me right over the ve (ironically enough.)
I have one suggestion. Perhaps make the O a ring of fire with gears inside of it to symbolize the clock? Who says it has to be literal, logos often aren't. You could possibly do a similar thing with the first letters in the other words.
I'd play around with it a lot more. It's going to define your product after all, put as much time as you can into it.
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If you stick with the first one, you could probably avoid the flip effect by drawing his exit from a 3/4 view.
I liked having more panel diversity in option 2, but the more I looked at it the more I felt like I was getting panel diversity at the expense of angle/composition diversity. Option 2's first panel feels kind of samey.
In the name of pressing on I'm going with the first one, because I also like how de-emphasized everyone but Hunter is in it. Breaking the 180 rule is vaguely bothersome, but when I shift panel 2 to 3/4 it doesn't look any more clear, IMO, and I'm having some trouble emphasizing the coin as well when I have to shift the table elsewhere in the shot.
You'll have to let me know once I finish it if it looks too broken or not.
Yeah, that logo was kind of a forced iteration; it's my least favorite of all of them so far. I might give a ring of fire a shot when I get back at it.
It forces your reader to share in his reaction by giving them the same view as him.
Also, if you wanted to do a 1 oclock, 3 oclock, 6 oclock pov progression of panels, switch hands that he secures his hat with, so his hand doesn't obscure the face in the turn.
This is all of course if you are really weary of the 180 rule, I personally like it very much as is in the first set up.
It looks like you have your process down, but the more info the more better, right?
Check out Art & Story 142 – The Big Logo.
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They talk about what they're doing and what shows they're going to and don't actually hit the topic until about ten minutes in. Do yourself a favor and skip all that chatter. It's as boring as a day job.
Hoooooly shit. The third logo they have there is completely undecipherable. There's an E in there, and either an R or a retarded P, but wow. Jesus Christ.
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The main problem, i think, is that they all seem ripped from the 90's.