New GOP site asking for ideas for their platform.

CommunistCow

Funniest thing since sliced bread.

Poe's law wins this site.

Some hilarious ideas include:

"Deport my dog. His English is terrible."

"I want to build Brick Ovens to extract oil from the oil shale that infests this country. We would never have to buy overseas oil again."

"Make all government employees (including Congress) ride exercise bicycles hooked up to power generators."

"We need to keep God in the classrooms. He watches over all our children and we need to spoon feed them his love from a young age. Praise be to Thor! May his mighty hammer smite our enemies!"

"Subsidize the sealing industry. I want to see it in our school lunch programs. Our kids deserve seal."

"There are too many states these days, please eliminate three."

The internet wins.

Edit:
Remember guys: No raiding (Forum rules and all). This thread is to post hilarious shit that is already on the site and to mock them horribly.

Viscount Islands

Ho boy.

FirmSkater

Why the heck does dems really been when even as they go to as if we try to look for that detail when they spend us so we can't just vote on the term that the activist will turn over at the end of the session!?

Lord Dave

hilarious

SLyM

Reading some of these are pretty great

Viscount Islands

FirmSkater wrote: »

Why the heck does dems really been when even as they go to as if we try to look for that detail when they spend us so we can't just vote on the term that the activist will turn over at the end of the session!?

I do not understand this sentence.

Darth Aardvark

FirmSkater wrote: »

Why the heck does dems really been when even as they go to as if we try to look for that detail when they spend us so we can't just vote on the term that the activist will turn over at the end of the session!?

is this a quote from the site or did you just stroke

World as Myth

this is best

"A 'teacher' told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish! And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story."

undeinPirat

humans are fish

my worldview is shattered

we are the merpeople

CommunistCow

Lady Gaga arouses me. I hear she's part man. Does that make me a democrat?

UnbreakableVow

"There are too many states these days, please eliminate three."

Glad someone on there has a sense of humor

Viscount Islands

UnbreakableVow wrote: »

"There are too many states these days, please eliminate three."

Glad someone on there has a sense of humor

Haha, really? Just go look at the suggestions. Every other one is pretty funny.

SLyM

Don't you just hate it when you get ready for bed, and just when you begin to settle in under the nice comfy sheets and fluff your pillow you realize— you kinda have to go to the bathroom?

Hells YES I DO!

Government, get on this, STAT!

World as Myth

oh god I used their handwritey font in a logo recently!

Viscount Islands

Impeach Berry Hughsane Tortillo. He keeps going against the will of the PEOPLE!! A majority of VOTES is not a majority of PEOPLE!!

???

101

and then WaM was the GOP

CommunistCow

I propose that we limit the constitution to 140 characters, for great justice.

We should limit the constituational rights of people we disagree with.

God my throat hurts from laughing so fucking hard. Can we take bets on how much of this content will be deleted and or ignored if it goes against their current platform.

I'm going to be there is a 140% chance of that happening.

Henroid

Oh this is good.

Ruby Rhod

Sue Lowden was definitely on to something with her idea of bartering chickens for health care, but why not just make chickens official United States currency? Money doesn't grow on trees, but there's no reason it can't grow in our CAFOs.

Hahaha

Viscount Islands

I mean usually the whole "Haha Republicans!" is really old, but this is really funny.

SLyM

It's like they just made the website and put up a sign to say "Troll republicans here."

FirmSkater

Unavailable

A very high volume of Americans are speaking out right now.
Please wait a moment and try again

Viscount Islands

Why is there only a tap for water in my home? There should be a system in place to pipe other commodities (soda, hamburgers) into the homes of those who can afford them. Also why do the pipes only go one way? I propose a FREE and JUST system that would allow the pipes to give as well as take. This would allow one to shove a tip back into the pipe, affectively thanking it for the burgers it has provided them.

Spudge

We should rename maracas "freedom sticks" to punish Mexico for stealing jobs from us.

Ruby Rhod

Make sure in the next Batman movie Christian Bale doesn't make that stupid voice

Viscount Islands

Lol, this website cost taxpayers $100,000. Thank you party of fiscal responsibility.

Haha, is this true?

undeinPirat

i have heard from multiple people it is tax funded

World as Myth

my god, burger pipes

MrMonroe

it's a scheme to get phone numbers and nothing more

no one is going to read these comments except other people who've shown up to troll and the very dumbest republicans

Ruby Rhod

Oh god

Repeal the US Postal Service's monopoly on mail. Allow private businesses to compete by allowing them to offer cheaper rates than the USPS.

CommunistCow

Require elected officials to get receipts from their visits to ladies of the night.

SLyM

The GOP must return to its Pro-Life principles. No longer should we allow death into this country. The USA was founded by people looking for the Fountain of Youth in the hopes of gaining immortality, and it is high time we devoted all possible resources to completing this quest.

Henroid

Viscount Islands wrote: »

Lol, this website cost taxpayers $100,000. Thank you party of fiscal responsibility.

Haha, is this true?

I live for this stuff.

FirmSkater

I like how they called it "America Speaking Out" as opposed to "speaking up" or something to that effect. Makes it sound like a bunch of people rebelling against the gub'ment

CommunistCow

Lets be join canada and become another province. That way they can teach us how to manage our banks and budget.

Sell Michigan to Canada.

Henroid

Someone is registered on the site as Ronald Reagan.

Squall

CommunistCow wrote: »

Sell Michigan to Canada.

.

alt post by anti:

MrMonroe

FirmSkater wrote: »

I like how they called it "America Speaking Out" as opposed to "speaking up" or something to that effect. Makes it sound like a bunch of people rebelling against the gub'ment

that is their target audience, yes

Ruby Rhod

Deport all Mexicans. I hate the fact that my kids speak Spanish as their first language because of their nanny. (A Swedish nanny was too expensive. Not everyone is a golf pro or member of Congress. Not that I want my kids speaking some atheist language like Swedish! Gosh, where are all the American nannies???)

Henroid

Bibles should not be used to pleasure a quim.

Viscount Islands

MrMonroe wrote: »

FirmSkater wrote: »

I like how they called it "America Speaking Out" as opposed to "speaking up" or something to that effect. Makes it sound like a bunch of people rebelling against the gub'ment

that is their target audience, yes

The young, hip Twitter crowd.