Friend is about to be a dad! Need help!

illgottengains

So my friend called me yesterday and told me that he and his girlfriend are going last evening to induce labor of their baby. He asked me if I could come be there for him. I'm just not sure exactly what I'm supposed to do here, I guess. I've never had a kid so I can't really relate to what's happening here very directly. I guess I've taken a sort of older brother kind of role with regard to my friend and I'm fairly certain he is going to look to me for some kind of guidance here... wtf do I do?

admanb

He probably just needs something stable to grasp in a time of change. Just be the friend you are.

Blake T

Man. Just shoot the shit with him.

The biggest problem (from what I have learned from other fathers) is that while they are attending the birth they feel absolutely helpless cause they aren't having the baby.

Sir Carcass

Yeah, mainly just be there to keep him company. When they induced my wife, it was basically a lot of waiting around, an hour of terror (c-section), and then a large whirlwind of blurry memories. After the baby is born, just going with him to grab lunch or something is a nice bit of sanity.

Improvolone

Talk about anything he wants to, go buy him some food or something.
Don't talk about baby unless he wants to.

Druhim

yeah, when my best friend Mike called to let me know his wife was at the hospital and about to deliver I stopped by and hung out with them both, then went car-seat shopping with Mike
I just hung out with him and we chatted
you know, I was a friend

so just be, you know, a good friend

ExpiredHero

Improvolone wrote: »

Talk about anything he wants to, go buy him some food or something.
Don't talk about baby unless he wants to.

This! Especially in the coming weeks. We have a 7 week old baby and my family, her family, neighbours, everyone under the sun asks after the baby at every conversation.

Sometimes it is just nice to have a chat with a mate about <insert hobby / sport / something> rather than another "baby" conversation.

Djeet

Bring a backup camera if you have one, some stuff to pass the time (magazines, video games, etc.), snacks or drinks that are better then you can get in the hospital vending machines. Also make sure he knows you're there to do things or get things for him is he needs that. Bring some cash to pay for parking in case you need to exit and re-enter to get stuff.

mts

if its anything like the movies he wants you to walk in the room in the middle of delivery at the same time the baby is crowning so you are embarrassed.

just be there for support. he might even ignore you, which is fine so bring a book or something

illgottengains

Thanks for all the advice folks! I think I was just freaking out a little bit. All this baby business really isn't my cup of tea.

Improvolone

You have nothing to freak out over.

Wicked Uncle Ernie

Dads (being one myself) don't get really hit with the weight of the whole life changing bit until after the baby comes. I'd say most new fathers are in a pretty good state of shock. Best thing you can do is have fun with him. He's likely gonna get all gooey over the new kid, and your going to be looking at a snail with arms and legs, so just nod and pat him on the back, or some such.

The stress involved here is incredible, I'd say it's approximate to boot camp, but less hostile. Do whatever you usually do, have fun.

Oh, yea, running for food will make you a god to them, i was STARVING afterwards.

Improvolone

Wicked Uncle Ernie wrote: »

Dads (being one myself) don't get really hit with the weight of the whole life changing bit until after the baby comes. I'd say most new fathers are in a pretty good state of shock. Best thing you can do is have fun with him. He's likely gonna get all gooey over the new kid, and your going to be looking at a snail with arms and legs, so just nod and pat him on the back, or some such.

The stress involved here is incredible, I'd say it's approximate to boot camp, but less hostile. Do whatever you usually do, have fun.

Oh, yea, running for food will make you a god to them, i was STARVING afterwards.

On a similar note, be there for his wife if he wants to leave. Walking across the street for a burrito was so freaking needed. I had to get out for a bit.
His freedom to just go get a burrito are about to disappear.