Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it,
follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given
their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!
Posts
if you want a place to be loud near midnight, move to a farm or a frathouse
you're in your mid 20s. It's time to start considering those around you as WELL as yourself and your friends
People DO give a shit before 12, and it's not unreasonable to. You don't know this guy, you don't know his schedule
he's asked you one time to cut the noise at 10:30 pm, and he wasn't an ass about it. Just move on and try to be a good neighbor
you moved to a house with people living next to you, surprisingly, these people also have likes and dislikes
My issue is that, in my opinion, and compared to a lot of the association, we werent being very loud at a very late time. It was like the one time we remotely crossed any line, and it was a loud-ish game at 20 minutes later then we probably should have and he reacted instantly.
He showed no signs of caring about getting off on the wrong foot or wanting to get a good relationship with me. He showed every sign of pre-judging me for being young. Keep in mind, as stated before, these neighbors gave us dirty as hell looks we moved in, and didnt smile or wave when we smiled at them, they just stared us down with nasty looks.
So, I feel like this guy already had an issue that some 25 year old could just move in next to him. And I feel like he is going to give no leeway and let things bother him a lot quicker because of our age differences.
Other neighbors are even older, but they seem nice, and though I havent spoken to them really, I have said hi and waved in the morning and what not. I got a bad vibe from this dude right away.
Imagine being 40, having to get up at 5 AM to commute to your job that starts at 7, and then getting home at 7 at night only to have a couple short hours to enjoy yourself before getting a full nights sleep, and then the young guy next door is throwing bean bags in a barrel an hour after you've turned in.
And people without a great command of the language always come off impolite, because they only know enough words to be very direct.
It's not hard to stay inside after 10 and enjoy yourself with video games, boardgames, movies, weed, alcohol, music, whatever. You chose an activity that is outside and noisy at a time of night that people with careers and families are trying to recharge for their stressful day. Weekends aren't weekends for everyone.
Not that I expect everyone else to be this way. But for me, its mainly how quickly he reacted. Honestly, before this I would have considered hanging outside up until 12 no issues. Because it never crossed my mind people were that annoyed by it.
I am going to move it inside, and am unhappy about doing so.
But thats life.
Also, some of my friends dont get off work until 10, they still work retail. So thats part of the reason we are used to hanging out late. 10-4am on weekends is the only time I get to see some of my closest friends.
Also, people keep talking about parties. I never have more then like 4 people over, is that considered a "party", should I warn my neighbors when that happens?
I hate to say it, but the opening salvo was yours.
You moved in, didn't introduce yourself and the promptly made enough noise to bug your neighbor.
This has nothing to do with him being older than you
But it has everything to do with you being a good neighbor and trying to make nice with the people who share walls with you. Stop deluding yourself that they're out to get you and stop being a pissy little brat who doesn't understand why the rules apply to him.
Maybe you didn't like his tone when he talked to you, but he was basically saying the same thing you are, which is "I plan to be here for a while, and I don't want to have to deal with shit like that at 10pm." So, he doesn't greet you when you pick up your paper, that doesn't mean you get to throw bags at wood at 10.
It looks like the game is fairly mobile, and you're an adult with a car. The neighbors kid just drives up to the middle school and plays on their court. You can move your game, he cant move his house. I understand that you are compromising more than he is, But it sounds like a minor inconvenience at best.
And he has no idea how long you're gonna go on. What's he supposed to do, wait for half an hour and HOPE that you'll stop soon, or just nip it in the bud. Just go over tomorrow, say 'hey man, sorry about last night. What's your schedule like during the week, I don't want to create animosity, and knowing your expectations would really help me avoid doing that. I know I'm new here, and I'd like to be a respectful member of this community.'
I agree with more or less everything Ceres has said - there's always somebody near you who is sleeping and you can't please everyone. Do what you need to do, if there's a complaint - apologize, relocate the activity or stop it for the evening. Which...gasp, is exactly what you did. Kudos for respecting others and fuck those who are trying to make you out to be this dick neighbor.
Good luck.
I was raised to believe 8pm was late!
I feel for you because I used to be a musician with a garage so that makes you the jam house.
I figured out pretty quick the only times you don't get yelled at for noise is 3pm to 6pm. Anything past that and people are ready to lynch you.
In my case there were two bands within one square block in high school - imagine what the neighbors thought.
To sum it up : Read your local ordinances carefully - they are written usually so that ANYTHING is a violation by design.
Here are mine since we aren't neighbors:
Sec. 14-5. - Prohibitions generally.
(edit)
(8)
Talking, yelling, shouting, screaming, singing, or any other form of human sounds produced by any person or group of people that creates a noise disturbance.
See... that's not even in the 10pm to 6am noise section - this is just in general.
So...while carrying couches and boxes while he sits in his driveway and stares me down im supposed to walk over there and introduce myself?
Sorry, but if some guy is giving me the stink eye I am not going to feel comfortable approaching him. Is that my bad? Maybe, but its also understandable.
I am not imagining this guy giving us dirty looks when we moved in, my fiance and parents noticed it to. I could see myself introducing myself to the neighbors on the other side if I happened to see them when I wasnt in my car on the way to work, but I havent seen them out and about yet.
This other guy, it would be incredibly awkward to move in for an actual conversation at this point. It will take months of greetings from my patio or driveway and breaking the tension before I had the ability to do that.
I just dont know, like I said, he seemed agitated by us from day -1.
Though, if this guy is ever loud outside passed 10, its gunna bother me. Not because I care about the noise, but just because of the hypocracy.
Clearly not, and I highly doubt Usagi was suggesting you do it while in the process of physically moving in your stuff. After you've moved in, perhaps on the first weekend, it's nice to go introduce yourself at least to your immediate neighbors. It doesn't have to be anything big, just enough so that you know who your neighbors are and vice versa, as well as showing your neighbors that you're a nice, mature guy. The longer you wait, the more awkward the first introduction will be. Once the ice is broken, it will be much easier to shoot the breeze if you're both doing yardwork, etc. and build up a good rapport.
Honestly, even a smile and a wave while you were moving in wouldn't have been a bad idea (it's what I've done in the past).
But yeah, what Boom said.
Like im great at shooting the breeze during an interaction with purpose, but I am terrible at forced, no real point, small talk.
Especially if theres a remote language barrier, because I tend to make jokes or comments that people who english is a second language for dont quite follow.
I always figured neighbors just waited until they were in the same place and shot the breeze, not a forced, akward introduction. Im not sure I can handle that...thats on me, but...yeah...not an easy one for me.
We smiled and gave head nods with our hands full...might have been easy to miss. But they were staring at us the whole time, so...I think they saw it.
All you will accomplish with this is starting a war with your neighbor. How about acting like a mature adult, apologize, try to keep the noise down late at night, and be a little neighborly? You don't have to have each other over for tea, but a little nicety will go a long way.
Strangely I feel generationally older (I am 34 next week and they are in their twenties) and family wise behind (we don't have kids yet).
We should start a general neighbor thread in DnD.
I'm awful at small talk too, so I feel where you're coming from. However, this does have a point: establishing friendly contact with someone you will live next to for years.
But like I said, it doesn't have to be anything big. Hell, you can even give yourself a quick out. For example, "Hi, I'm on my way to run some errands, but I wanted to take the time to introduce myself..." (and then actually go somewhere). Basically give the conversation a naturally short, predefined end and you'll avoid that whole awkward situation of standing around and nobody saying anything.
When we were at school, living in a house split up into an apartment with the landlord, and a married couple with kids, we got away with alot of shit by just asking first. just being like "hey, we're 20, we dont want to interrupt you lives, tell us if were being loud." or "Hey, we'd like to throw a party, is there a weekend you'd prefer?" Or neighbors would tell us when they are going out of town and be like "throw a nice party." Its alot easier to compromise before you're doing whatever annoying thing.
Maybe you wont get so lucky, but trying to talk about it is usually better than do, apologize, repeat, as that gets tiring for everybody.
I had been watching the super long Watchman cut (so I was up) but when it ended, I heard like weird machinery and banging noises that the tv was covering up.
THEY WERE POURING THE FOUNDATION FOR THE TOWNHOUSES 45 FEET BEHIND ME IN THE DARK.
With a concrete truck and 15 people etc.
I called the cops so fast.
Sucks to think my house was probably made in the dark too.
Oh those construction workers were pissed. Supposedly if they had to stop it would have to be torn out and done over again. Thankfully the cop shared my view as "how the hell did you think this was ok!?!?!" ... as someone who has done haphazard construction type work as well I called the county and OSHA on them too.
They literally were out there with one big work light. You couldn't be safe working in a construction site like that.
Well now you've just pissed off the mafia and they're going to make your life hell. (oh god I'm just kidding that would be terrible)
This is unbelievably helpful, even if your neighbors are also in their early 20s, you never know what they're up to. I used to have a job where I had to be up at 6am in order to get there on time, and the very first week we moved in our neighbors came over to ask us about what times were good for them to have parties and how noise-sensitive we were. They were probably the best neighbors I've ever had in an apartment situation, and it took a whole two minutes of interaction on both our parts to make sure we were friendly to each other.
Hello Satan! | Steam | Tumblr
The funny thing is that no one else called the cops! Sure they were out there staring dumbfounded and pissed off.
I would hope if i am being murdered or something they would get involved
Doing something like that will accomplish several things:
1. Get to know all your neighbors
2. Let the guy know there's no hard feelings
3. Give you an opportunity to apologize and perhaps ask if there's times he'd be amenable to outdoors activity
At least, this is what I would do. Keep in mind, I've lived my entire life either in the country (where hearing hunting gunshots at midnight isn't uncommon) or in college dorms (where hearing drinking parties across the hall at 4 AM was pretty standard) so I'm not an expert on suburbia. But it seems to me like a party like that would help everyone get to know each other a little better.
That's been my understanding as well. During college I lived in a nicer neighbourhood than most, with my friends, we just went up to our close neighbours and said "Hey, just so you know, we'll try to keep it down for the most part, but is there a certain time you'd like us to quiet up by? We're students, not animals." And eventually settled on 10-10:30, even though some other neighbours didn't care, or said things like midnight or 1am.
Being courteous first means you don't have to deal with that kind of shit later, and means you can always say "Well you said to keep it down after X, and it's X minus 30, sorry, we didn't think you'd mind."
Edit: A big barbecue type deal, especially if you've got some friends that come over often, is a great idea like Terrendos said. They may be older, even significantly older, but there's no reason you can't be friendly. Plus, there's always the chance you'll meet another fan of whatever team(s) you like, and will be able to hang out with them for games sometimes. Or even a fan of your rival, and get to have that good natured neighbourly banter about games.
our last neighbours decided to play loud, loud techno at 3am. our building manager yelled at them, called them stupid, called them animals, it was wonderful. they were seemingly running a brothel, turned out.
I thought I was the only person who had no idea what that means.
In this situation the path of least resistance is probably the way to go. Yeah it sucks you can't do what you want at 10:30 on a friday but remember it being a Friday doesn't make it more acceptable than on another weekday, a lot of people work Saturdays.
He lives on as cheezburger grease in our hearts.
I would say that part of the problem also stems from a couple (or more) guys outside just bullshitting and chit chatting. I think it's fairly common knowledge how loud people can get in the process of playing competitive games. Even moreso when they've had a few.
What you should do is go to your neighbour during the day and apologize again. Try to get to know all your neighbours and you'll know when you can more easily get away with stuff like bags at 10:30.
They had this down stairs neibhor who was a bitch. Playing Rock Band at 8? Too loud because of the drum pedal, blender at 10:15, threatened to call the cops, ice fell off the roof, they were dropping stuff on her porch on purpous. She always called the cops out, who where generally nice because John and his wife are nice and good people. They tried everything to make this lady happy but she always bitched and complained about every little thing and made outragous demands of them (my pipes are broken so you running water may case leaks in my ceiling, can you not use any water for 3 days?).
This guy came out and asked nicely if you could stop being loud. It could be worse. I lived in a college town in a house full of other college aged guys, I worked 2 jobs and went to school. I had 90 hour work weeks on top of school, there was a party at every neibhors house and in my own every weekend. It sucked. I am glad I am in the adult world now that I am in college again. Welcome to that adult world. Don't be a douche, be reasonable, just quiet it down.
Now if this guy is all "YOUR GAME OF RISK IS TOO DAMN LOUD" then yeah hes a jerkass. Otherwise, maybe keep it down.
I think this is the sort of behavior we should be ridding the OP of, not encouraging. He doesn't need to think "Hey, I'm kinda on good terms with my neighbors, I can go back to my bad behavior now."