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Awkward Moments [Shibby casting dark magic all up in here]

ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-ExorcistAdam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
edited July 2010 in Social Entropy++
633518901894979165-Awkward-Moments---Theres-no-real-way-to-get-around-them---Motivational-RPG-Poster.jpg

Awkward moments, they fill our lives like spices onto a turkey. Sometimes they act merely as the foundation for a great moment, a hilarious joke or a memorable experience. Sometimes they are encased in sorrow and pain though.

Come together SE++ and share your most awkward moment you have experienced. Taste what others bring to table with their stories and let us all grow fat on the tales of terror to be told.

Fill our collective stomachs!

Zonugal on
Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
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Posts

  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I'll begin with a story of my most awkward moment. In the 8th grade I broke my femur in a hurdling accident during a track meet and had to be brought to the hospital. After the surgery I was held for an additional day before being released but within that day I experience my most awkward moment.

    Because of my supposed weakened state I had to use a urine bottle and apparently the staff felt that was too much difficulty so they sent assistant. In the door walked a nurse to assist me in urinating into a bottle. But instead of gentle, female nurse they sent the tallest, angriest black man I had ever seen (think Me'Shell from Dodgeball for a fair resemblance).

    He walked over to my bed, grabbed my penis with much force and shoved it into the urine bottle. But because of fear, stage-fright or whatever it may have been I was unable to urinate. And so for four minutes this male nurse held my penis while looking down upon me with furious eyes. I felt disappointment like none before.

    Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
    Centipede Damascus
  • World as MythWorld as Myth Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    your sig is an awkward moment

    kQwcZLJ.png
  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Just wait till you see it in person, it draws the eyes with all the majesty of a dumpster fire.

    Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    That story was amazing. I had some stories to share, but they are no where near as good as that one.

    Zonugal, this is a bad thread, because I think you already won it.

  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
  • crwthcrwth IDIOT NEWS Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    i avoid awkward moments by never talking and generally blending into the background

  • FishmanFishman I find your inability to differentiate between 'corruption' and 'feminism' disturbing Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Who said that?

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • AntimatterAntimatter Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Every time this happens:
    Dad: MAN UP, FOR GOD'S SAKE! You aren't a girl, be a man!
    Me: (I'm transgender, you fucker, but I can't fucking tell you)

  • ZonugalZonugal Freelance Bio-Exorcist Adam Maitland's Model TownRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Koshian I imagine every day for you is like a Don Knotts film.

    Beetlejuice_sig.jpg
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    all my awkward moments are too numerous to count

    and have been pounded into oblivion through drinking so that i don't have to relive them

    but i assure you, if there is a way to fuck something up, i've figured it out.

    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Brodo FagginsBrodo Faggins Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I had a friend in college, a white chick that was pretty hefty. Us and our group of friends were invited to a Queen-themed party, in which the partygoers were encouraged to dress like a Queen song.

    I got there before her, and as expected, there were plenty of people dressed as bike riders, fat-bottomed girls, and murderous queens (killer queen).

    My friend arrived, and I pointed at her butt.
    "Oh, did you come as a fat-bottomed girl too?"
    "No, I'm not in costume".

    She still makes fun of me for it to this day.

    9PZnq.png
  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Fishman wrote: »
    Who said that?

    It was crwth, being creepy and sulking in the background again.

    Get him, boys!

    if we're too far behind / and really out of time / is there another world they plan to find?
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig~medium.jpgsteam~tinythumb.png
  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Koshian I imagine every day for you is like a Don Knotts film.

    what're those like?

    I'm really only familiar with don knotts in the andy griffith show :V

  • B.C.B.C. Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    In the second grade, my teacher called everybody in the class into the group circle. This means it was activity time or that some one had something to share.

    Up stands the girl who is known to have a crush on me. She proceeds to read a love poem out loud, then walks over to me and hands me a rose.

    All the children immediately start pointing and laughing at me. I run from the room crying.

    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Every time this happens:
    Dad: MAN UP, FOR GOD'S SAKE! You aren't a girl, be a man!
    Me: (I'm transgender, you fucker, but I can't fucking tell you)

    god, I can't wait for you to be able to move out for college

    this stuff is hard enough without having to deal with your dad's crap :(

  • AntimatterAntimatter Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Koshian wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Koshian I imagine every day for you is like a Don Knotts film.

    what're those like?

    I'm really only familiar with don knotts in the andy griffith show :V

    ReluctantAstronaut.jpg


    (Me too, Kosh)

  • Muse Among MenMuse Among Men Suburban Bunny Princess? Its time for a new shtick Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Zonugal wrote: »
    I'll begin with a story of my most awkward moment. In the 8th grade I broke my femur in a hurdling accident during a track meet and had to be brought to the hospital. After the surgery I was held for an additional day before being released but within that day I experience my most awkward moment.

    Because of my supposed weakened state I had to use a urine bottle and apparently the staff felt that was too much difficulty so they sent assistant. In the door walked a nurse to assist me in urinating into a bottle. But instead of gentle, female nurse they sent the tallest, angriest black man I had ever seen (think Me'Shell from Dodgeball for a fair resemblance).

    He walked over to my bed, grabbed my penis with much force and shoved it into the urine bottle. But because of fear, stage-fright or whatever it may have been I was unable to urinate. And so for four minutes this male nurse held my penis while looking down upon me with furious eyes. I felt disappointment like none before.

    Amazing.

  • B.C.B.C. Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    My grandfather died a week ago, so I had to get cleaned up for the funeral.
    I walk into the Cost Cutters, and find out this hot chick covered in tattoos is gonna cut my hair for me.

    We start making small talk to pass the time, and then she asks me why am I getting my haircut if I hadn't in such a long time. Without even thinking about it I replied, "My grandfather died, I am going to his funeral."

    "Oh."
    "Yeah"

    We didn't talk much after that. I am bad at conversations.

    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Once when I was talking to a girl I liked I made an extravagant hand motion!

    Unfortunately because I'd recently had a little accident this involved the stitches in my elbow splitting open and a huge red stain blossoming throughout my sleeve in a goddamn volcanic eruption of blood.

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • jaziekjaziek Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    crwth wrote: »
    i avoid awkward moments by never talking and generally blending into the background

    crwthster bluth

    Steam ||| SC2 - Jaziek.377 on EU & NA. ||| Twitch Stream
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    this is still my very most awkward moment as of yet
    Nuzak wrote: »
    this lady at the hospital has terrible terrible cancer, and her doctor was in the room asking about how she was

    i was about to ask her if there was anything i could do for her, water her flowers, etc., when her doctor told her her temperature was fine, and she responded, 'well at least i am not dead!'

    and my big mouth joked 'yet!'

    and then everyone looked at me and i walked out of her room and out of the hospital

    it has not been topped since, and i'm thankful for that

  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    Urgh. Stalkers are the fucking worst, good luck with that

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino omfg Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    once when i was in grade school, there was a girl who recently moved to town and enrolled at our school. she moved around a lot because her dad was a commercial airline pilot.

    she was a pretty chill person for 7th grade. so naturally many of the parents in town warned their sons she was a massive slut :/

    so of course later that year, i'm at a common friend's birthday party, and somehow we get to talking about this girl. i of course blurt out that "my mom says [girl] is a total slut!"

    i immediately hear crying behind me. guess who juuust walked in to the room.

    i'm hopefully less of a jerk today.

    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009 | HELLO THERE, SATAN!
  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
    kinda related though:

    the other day my dad told me that he doesn't like me wearing skinny jeans and shaping my eyebrows because people might think I'm gay

    ehehehehehehehehe

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    Urgh. Stalkers are the fucking worst, good luck with that

    like, I have heard neither hide nor hair of this guy or my ex in close to 4 years

    a ton of crazy bricks have just hit me in the head

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    Urgh. Stalkers are the fucking worst, good luck with that

    at least wait until i'm out of earshot edcrab, jesus

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Koshian wrote: »
    kinda related though:

    the other day my dad told me that he doesn't like me wearing skinny jeans and shaping my eyebrows because people might think I'm gay

    ehehehehehehehehe

    WHOOPS.jpg

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • SoaLSoaL fantastic Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    pip instead of reading this story i just read your signature


    it was a good post!

    DKFA7.gif
  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Nuzak wrote: »
    Edcrab wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?

    ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages

    I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up

    we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch

    this has been an awkward week

    Urgh. Stalkers are the fucking worst, good luck with that

    at least wait until i'm out of earshot edcrab, jesus

    Oh come on as if I'm talking about you.


    Christ that guy has ears like a bat. A bat.

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    my sig makes all of my posts finely crafted pieces of art

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    finely crafted piece of fart

    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    where's the piece of art that is literally a dog shit so i can say that it is comparable to the art of a pippost

  • SoaLSoaL fantastic Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    the ol' mushroom slap, eh?

    DKFA7.gif
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino omfg Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.

    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009 | HELLO THERE, SATAN!
  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.

    Hell no this was the girl who gave terrible, terrible head. Few people might recall her actually

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Edcrab wrote: »
    The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument

    ...man I am such a classy guy.

    did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.

    ed is a pretty smart guy i think

    smart guys don't let obsessively deranged people near their genitals

    it makes people think they like them, and that is the last thing they need

    edit: apparently i'm wrong

    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Tossrock wrote: »
    "Ok here's a real embarrassing story, I was fucking this super hot chick at a party right? Well I'm a virtuoso with my cock, and on her eighty second orgasm she moaned loudly enough for the rest of the house to hear, so they all came running in! I stood up and everyone saw my twelve inch dick! Ho boy, was my face red (mostly from exhaustion though, because we'd been having sex for four days already)"

  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    My whole life is an awkward moment

    oh god

    cursed with an amazing memory for every slight thing I have ever done + over-thinking things + basing my self esteem on the opinion of others = most awkward person I know

    sharasugar_80.png sharanomsugar_80.png
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