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The Expendables - August 13th, In a Fucking Theater, Where Violence Belongs

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Posts

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Preacher wrote: »
    Deadfall wrote: »
    Going on Saturday. The theater is within walking distance, so I expect at least one, maybe two six packs before the show and a nice drunken walk over.

    For me its black angus for some red meat, a couple beers and then theater time.

    Leigh is treating me to a very nice steakhouse, the movie and going to sleep thoroughly exhausted.

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Deadfall wrote: »
    Going on Saturday. The theater is within walking distance, so I expect at least one, maybe two six packs before the show and a nice drunken walk over.

    For me its black angus for some red meat, a couple beers and then theater time.

    Leigh is treating me to a very nice steakhouse, the movie and going to sleep thoroughly exhausted.

    You need to chain her up afterward so she doesn't go see eat pray love...

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Preacher wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Deadfall wrote: »
    Going on Saturday. The theater is within walking distance, so I expect at least one, maybe two six packs before the show and a nice drunken walk over.

    For me its black angus for some red meat, a couple beers and then theater time.

    Leigh is treating me to a very nice steakhouse, the movie and going to sleep thoroughly exhausted.

    You need to chain her up afterward so she doesn't go see eat pray love...

    She's going to go see it with her roommates. The upside is that I won't be going, and she will be going to The Expendables, offsetting the count by one.

  • 3drage3drage Registered User
    edited August 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    You know who needs to play the gruffest redshirt in the villain's posse? This guy.

    And if there's room, this guy.

    Don't forget Tom Savini

  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    RandomEngy wrote: »
    GaryO wrote: »
    sorry someone said AVATAR is one of the best action movies ever. What the heck are they smoking. It is nowhere near even the middle of the pack. I've lost faith in humanity, only otpion left is to take off and nuke it from orbit...

    You can argue about whether or not it deserves to be called an "action movie" but it does have awesome action scenes. Me and pretty much everyone I know think that final battle was badass.

    Anyway I'm pretty sure I'm going to see this movie this weekend. 45% is a pretty good sign given how critics generally treat brainless action movies.
    Read the bad reviews. "When it's not bad Shakespeare... it's like Soldier of Fortune magazine started making pornography."

    Seriously, what, exactly, is bad about that?

    Also, I'm going to see it tonight at midnight, with a bunch of friends, after drinking quite a bit. So, in about four hours, I'll be back with a review.

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Thanatos wrote: »
    RandomEngy wrote: »
    GaryO wrote: »
    sorry someone said AVATAR is one of the best action movies ever. What the heck are they smoking. It is nowhere near even the middle of the pack. I've lost faith in humanity, only otpion left is to take off and nuke it from orbit...

    You can argue about whether or not it deserves to be called an "action movie" but it does have awesome action scenes. Me and pretty much everyone I know think that final battle was badass.

    Anyway I'm pretty sure I'm going to see this movie this weekend. 45% is a pretty good sign given how critics generally treat brainless action movies.
    Read the bad reviews. "When it's not bad Shakespeare... it's like Soldier of Fortune magazine started making pornography."

    Seriously, what, exactly, is bad about that?

    Also, I'm going to see it tonight at midnight, with a bunch of friends, after drinking quite a bit. So, in about four hours, I'll be back with a review.


    I'm in the theater right now. Just waiting for it to start.

  • Fatboy RobertsFatboy Roberts Registered User
    edited August 2010
    To counteract my negative review from earlier, here's one from CinemaBlend's Josh Tyler. Actually, I'm not sure it's so much a review as it is a recruitment speech, but still, it's a fun read:

    http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Fathers-Don-t-Let-Your-Sons-Grow-Up-Without-The-Expendables-20065.html

  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    She's going to go see it with her roommates. The upside is that I won't be going, and she will be going to The Expendables, offsetting the count by one.
    Tell her to wait until next week. She needs to not contribute to their opening weekend box office.

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    So a Dove ad before the movie. A quick look at the crowd is making me think that feminine body wash ads may be marketing money poorly spent.

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    She's going to go see it with her roommates. The upside is that I won't be going, and she will be going to The Expendables, offsetting the count by one.
    Tell her to wait until next week. She needs to not contribute to their opening weekend box office.

    She's right next to me now so it's a wash.

  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    She's going to go see it with her roommates. The upside is that I won't be going, and she will be going to The Expendables, offsetting the count by one.
    Tell her to wait until next week. She needs to not contribute to their opening weekend box office.
    She's right next to me now so it's a wash.
    This is what I'm saying: it needs to not be a wash. She needs to contribute positively.

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Fucking awesome.

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    It is exactly what we were hoping for. Snarky one liners. Fight scenes full of awesome. Explosions. Bad guys, good guys. Body count.

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Okay, I now have a better keyboard to type with. So the movie was awesome. The cast have an amazing chemistry and the fights are pretty over the top. Everyone gets a moment of awesome or two. There are a couple of flat notes, The Governator is kinda flat, but Stallone and Willis make up for it. Some other minor shit that you'll forget in a moment or two.

  • clownfoodclownfood packet pusher in the wallsRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    The Expendables...Before you see it, ask yourself, "did you see the last Rambo? Did you enjoy it?"

    If you answered yes to both these questions, then see this movie.

    This movie was great. Completely over the top. Gloriously over the top. And I loved the way the Steve Austin/Stallone fight ended.

    photo-4798.jpg?_r=1355437546
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    This movie was fucking terrible. Wait, not terrible, that other thing... oh, yeah, fucking awesome.

    I now understand all the bad reviews: they were written by retarded people. Though, I will say, the movie is, in fact, like what you would get if Soldier of Fortune magazine started doing pornography.

    Stallone perfectly captured the feel of an 80s action movie using a big budget and 2010 effects. If you go in there expecting that, you will not be disappointed. Everyone in the movie had some great moments, but Stallone and Statham would probably be considered the leads, along with maybe Jet Li. It was incredibly violent, with a lot of explosions, and a lot of cheesy lines. It was everything I've been looking forward to for the past few months.

    So, I guess what I'm really saying is: Qingu, you were totally wrong. :P

    Also, there's a good chance I'm gonna see it again this weekend.

  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Also, there's a good chance I'm gonna see it again this weekend.
    Take me with you.

    EDIT: The midnight showing at my theater actually had quite a fair number of women present. It was pretty cool.

  • BansheeBanshee Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Loved it. Lundgren rocked so hard.

    two of my favorite parts were
    Spoiler:

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Banshee wrote: »
    Loved it. Lundgren rocked so hard.

    two of my favorite parts were
    Spoiler:
    Spoiler:

  • DeadfallDeadfall Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Dammit. I'm going to have to excuse myself from this thread until Saturday because the anticipation is brutal.

    BKqtjKy.jpg
    xbl - HowYouGetAnts
  • BansheeBanshee Registered User
    edited August 2010
    I want a
    Spoiler:
    flag in my room.
    Spoiler:

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • HounHoun Jump In Save the WorldRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Protip: Never have children. Because then you'll read threads for awesome movies on the internets that you won't get to see until the DVD release.

    :P

    camo_sig2.png
    Steam: DigitalArcanist | PSN: DigitalArcanist | NNID: DigitalArcanist | Backloggery: Houn
  • QinguQingu Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Well, looks like I'll be seeing this. Inshwillow in the same state I saw Avatar in.

    You guys better be right!

    Oh, very important: does the camera shake around a lot? As in Inception? Because if it does I'm not going.

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Qingu wrote: »
    Well, looks like I'll be seeing this. Inshwillow in the same state I saw Avatar in.

    You guys better be right!

    Oh, very important: does the camera shake around a lot? As in Inception? Because if it does I'm not going.

    A little shaking in the fight stuff but not like it's being held by Michael J. Fox, no.

  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Shaky cam is only needed when dealing with people who cannot fight. These fuckers know how to throw down!

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  • Fatboy RobertsFatboy Roberts Registered User
    edited August 2010
    The camera is really damn shaky during the action sequences, and is augmented with a pretty choppy editing style, too.

    It's why I'm a little curious as to how this is "classic 80's action." The action in this film has very little in common with 80's action. late 90's DTV action, sure.

  • CanadianWolverineCanadianWolverine Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Hmm, not sure if anyone shared this yet, a silly ad/interview with Stallone I found amusing:

    http://www.youtube.com/expendables

    steam_sig.png
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    The camera is really damn shaky during the action sequences, and is augmented with a pretty choppy editing style, too.

    It's why I'm a little curious as to how this is "classic 80's action." The action in this film has very little in common with 80's action. late 90's DTV action, sure.
    Have you never seen a shaky-cam movie before? Like, seriously? Because while there was a little of that in The Expendables, it's really very little, and I'm honestly curious as to how someone who is trying to make a run of it as a semi-professional movie reviewer comes at it from a point of such ignorance...?

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Thanatos wrote: »
    The camera is really damn shaky during the action sequences, and is augmented with a pretty choppy editing style, too.

    It's why I'm a little curious as to how this is "classic 80's action." The action in this film has very little in common with 80's action. late 90's DTV action, sure.
    Have you never seen a shaky-cam movie before? Like, seriously? Because while there was a little of that in The Expendables, it's really very little, and I'm honestly curious as to how someone who is trying to make a run of it as a semi-professional movie reviewer comes at it from a point of such ignorance...?

    So are we talking shakey cam like Early jet li in america here, or bourne supremecy fight scene?

  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Or Batman Begins. I fucking hated the fight scenes in that movie. Who hit who, with what, and how? Don't know, couldn't see shit between shaking and fucked up quick cuts. I guess Bruce hit him since hes still standing?

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  • Fatboy RobertsFatboy Roberts Registered User
    edited August 2010
    No, Than. I've never seen a movie with shaky cam in it. C'mon.

    It's closer to Bourne Supremacy/Batman Begins, but the editing is so much more haphazard that it amplifies the jittery effect. Nolan and Greengrass used fast cuts, yeah, but Stallone is really hacking the shit out of his action sequences here. Which is really weird, considering how much more calmly he pieced together his Rambo sequences. The action in that movie is a lot more assured/impressive than what he did here.

  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    No, Than. I've never seen a movie with shaky cam in it. C'mon.

    It's closer to Bourne Supremacy/Batman Begins, but the editing is so much more haphazard that it amplifies the jittery effect. Nolan and Greengrass used fast cuts, yeah, but Stallone is really hacking the shit out of his action sequences here. Which is really weird, considering how much more calmly he pieced together his Rambo sequences. The action in that movie is a lot more assured/impressive than what he did here.
    The shaky cam is nowhere near The Bourne Supremacy or Batman Begins. Like, not even close.

  • Fatboy RobertsFatboy Roberts Registered User
    edited August 2010
  • QinguQingu Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Please resolve your loggerheads objectively.

    I refuse to see this movie if it is as bad as a Christopher Nolan or Bourne movie in the shaking department.

    since I would rather kill myself than vomit, my life depends on your ability to resolve this disagreement.

  • Fatboy RobertsFatboy Roberts Registered User
    edited August 2010
    I guess we rock/paper/scissors for it, because I can't figure out how I'm supposed to convince Than he doesn't remember the movie the way I remember the movie. That's a losing proposition. He remembers it as being not very shaky. I remember it as being shaky as Batman Begins.

    It's really the editing/geography of the action sequences that kneecaps the main point of the movie's existence, though. The camera jumping around isn't so bad in comparison to how haphazardly the action is edited.

  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Qingu wrote: »
    Please resolve your loggerheads objectively.

    I refuse to see this movie if it is as bad as a Christopher Nolan or Bourne movie in the shaking department.

    since I would rather kill myself than vomit, my life depends on your ability to resolve this disagreement.
    Thomamelas is with me, you should note.

  • Fatboy RobertsFatboy Roberts Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Also note, I'm ignorantly trying to make a go of it as a semi-professional reviewer. :)

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Bro!Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I really didn't find it jittery. There is a bit of wobble during a couple explosions but it wasn't like some guy was running with a handycam. And I do agree that there was some editing during some of the fights that was just kind of poor. From a technical perspective it's not a great movie. There are editing issues, a couple of pacing issues and god they could have done better with the soundtrack, along with some other minor stuff that is wrong. I was aware of that after I left the theater and before I made the posts above. I just think the movie works despite those things and is still a fucking awesome experience.

  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic I've Done Worse Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    This movie is not brain friendly.

    Also, Stallone needs to learn that he shouldn't have people talk for more than let's say two minutes without somebody punching somebody.

    Still, was pretty entertaining in a bing-bang-boom kind of way.

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