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'Whomp!' June 6, 2011 "Heavy Petting"

rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
edited June 2011 in Artist's Corner
So, hi. This is my comic, 'Whomp!' I'm looking for feedback on how to make my comic art kind of... I don't know. It's the 'You know it when you see it' thing, but my lines in general feel really messy, and I feel really slow and inefficient in making anything polished. Anyway, check it out, I'd like to keep posting here 'til the end of time. I'll put all new stuff in new posts down the line, as is the common procedure.

I'll start with my latest few comics with my new character, The Supercentenarian.


0018supercentenarian071.jpg

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Now I'll add a few other recent items. You can see anything else directly on my website.

0016dishagreeable070820.jpg

0017mformotivation07122.jpg

0014myfatmyfriend070320.jpg

0005disagreetoagree0618.jpg

Some of these are inked using a traditional brush pen. Others use my Wacom tablet, though I try for the same effect on both. Also you'll notice they all have a rough print feel to them. I'm really trying to capture that old newspaper printing look, as I've found KC Green to be some inspiration to me. I've begun to steer away from his style, but I still find him to be an incredible artist.

Anyhoo, have at it.

rfilyaw on
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"Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
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Posts

  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    rfilyaw wrote: »


    ...... my lines in general feel really shitty,

    ....... Also you'll notice they all have a shitty feel to them. I'm really trying to capture that old shitty look




    :^:

  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I meant them in different contexts. I'll re-edit the original.

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I was pretty pleased at how this one turned out. I wish I were funnier, but alas, it is not to be so. So, I kind of go for a more charming humor. I was pleased with the halftoning in this one, too.

    Edit: I meant to write 'Bank' in overly obvious letters on the building, but I forgot. I think it's obvious it's being robbed.

    Edit2: Also, I'm aware that the commas look like periods. I edited the font to make them more comma-like, so future strips will look right. I'm really pleased with this font, though.

    0021thekitemancometh072.jpg

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    So... okay.

    Edit: Fixed a typo.

    0022spellingbeeminus072.jpg

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    That last one was pretty good, but when I read it the first time, when I got to the seventh panel it felt like it should end there. The next 4 panels are unnecessary IMO, they are okay, but they don't add so much as detract from the comical beat you had going. The punchline is that the judge is a jerkwad, so you get that point by the 7th panel, and then the next 4 panels just sorta reinforce the same thing in a more drawn out way.

    Everything looks nice and clean, the third panel though seems like it could have been composed better. All the talking is crammed in the bottom while not much is going on in the top half.

    Also the panels angles and views are all too similar. There's no variation. It works as it is, but it coulda been better. For example a shot from behind the girl showing a massive audience or auditorium would have added something to the strip.

    I like the characters and the subject matter as its something that doesn't typically get a comic, and its just funny.

  • TauhidTauhid Elizabethtown, KYRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Looks like you hate backgrounds. I feel your pain. I suggest working hard at drawing more realistic backgrounds or devising a few tricks to fill all that empty space (vague geometric shapes or dot patterns). Just leaving them blank's not gonna cut it.

  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Tauhid wrote: »
    Looks like you hate backgrounds. I feel your pain. I suggest working hard at drawing more realistic backgrounds or devising a few tricks to fill all that empty space (vague geometric shapes or dot patterns). Just leaving them blank's not gonna cut it.

    You hit the nail on the head, sir. I'll work on that. Edit: Meant to say more on the subject. You're right that I'm uncomfortable with drawing backgrounds WHICH IS NO EXCUSE, RONNIE. DAMMIT, DUDE.
    That last one was pretty good, but when I read it the first time, when I got to the seventh panel it felt like it should end there. The next 4 panels are unnecessary IMO, they are okay, but they don't add so much as detract from the comical beat you had going. The punchline is that the judge is a jerkwad, so you get that point by the 7th panel, and then the next 4 panels just sorta reinforce the same thing in a more drawn out way.

    Everything looks nice and clean, the third panel though seems like it could have been composed better. All the talking is crammed in the bottom while not much is going on in the top half.

    Also the panels angles and views are all too similar. There's no variation. It works as it is, but it coulda been better. For example a shot from behind the girl showing a massive audience or auditorium would have added something to the strip.

    I like the characters and the subject matter as its something that doesn't typically get a comic, and its just funny.

    Thank you for your kind words. You're right, I cheated on the last one, and I shouldn't have. I usually sketch every frame, but I copy pasted the sketch (but used normal finishing lines.) As for it going on a few panels too long, I guess I'm obsessed with having a comic that's long enough to be worth someone's visit, but not just torrents of words in individual panels. I also like to drag the joke out a little longer than I should for awkwardness, but it definitely didn't work in this latest one (and I really felt it was one of my weaker works.)

    Thank you both very much for your highly useful critique, it's very encouraging.

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    0023weddingdumbells0801.jpg

    Newest Whomp! strip. With new and improved backgrounds!

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Newest Whomp! strip, for your amusement.

    0024movofjoy08052010.jpg

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • CountBlackulaCountBlackula MarylandRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    These are making me laugh. That's what's important, right?

    Have you experimented at all with color?

    8JHfoFW.png Dom's Sketch Cast |Recent guests: Ashly Burch | Maki Naro | Amy T. Falcone!
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    These are making me laugh. That's what's important, right?

    That's absolutely what's important.
    Have you experimented at all with color?

    I have indeed. Up at the second and third strips I posted in the OP there was color with the halftoning (The second of the two colored ones was really bad, probably my most hated Whomp!). It's just as easy to color as it is to leave black and white, but it's definitely a preference.

    I'd wager that a healthy majority of famous comics (both web and otherwise) in the world are entirely black and white (or grayscale). This is something that I really admire and seek out actively. The film 'Ed Wood' supported his admiration as well. I am consistently impressed with how great Gunshow is and only uses grayscale with halftoning, and I think I'm going to stick with that.

    When done improperly, (the only way I know how) color can make a comic very tacky and visually loud.

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Newest Whomp!. I keep posting them here because it motivates me to keep going.

    (I'm Ronnie, that's the relevance of the strip.)
    0025theearlyyears080820.jpg

    Yeah, added color to this one. I wanted that child's drawing background thing happening, so color was not optional. I really like how it turned out, though.

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2010
    These are also making me laugh, good show!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    This one is gonna be really hit and miss, but I like it.

    'The Joke Is That I'm A Weenie'

    maweenie08102010.jpg
    Spoiler:

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • Atom JamesAtom James Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Mov the robot amuses me so :)
    I don't quite get the last one thoOMG THERE HE IS!!! D:

    Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel … with a bit of pornography if you're lucky.

    -Alan Moore
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Haha, thank you. I hope to do more with Mov. I got another non-Mov one that should be landing today or tomorrow, but I have one lined up for Mov right after that.

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    It must be your birthday, AC!

    0027heysoulbrotha081120.jpg

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • shovelkid001shovelkid001 Registered User
    edited August 2010
    I definitely like the black and white comics better which is weird because I usually skip comics if they don't have color. Your style is much better suited to black and white though. Bro hugs are good for the soul! Haha!

  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Whew, this one took a lot out of me, but I'm happy with how it came out. I think this is my best to date.

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    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2010
    I love the way you draw yourself.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I love the way you draw yourself.

    Thank you. :lol: 'His' facial hair changes with mine. In his next starring role, he's likely to have a 5-day shadow, or as I like to call it 'The unemployed cartoonist.' Also, circles are fun.

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • ParadiseParadise Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I like these too. Your characters are funny, and I like the personality that's starting to come through.

    The happiness robot is my favorite one. The idea that he notices little things that make people happy is great, and it's hilarious when he naïvely tries to replicate those little things.

  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Paradise wrote: »
    I like these too. Your characters are funny, and I like the personality that's starting to come through.

    The happiness robot is my favorite one. The idea that he notices little things that make people happy is great, and it's hilarious when he naïvely tries to replicate those little things.

    Thank you! :mrgreen:

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • Silvestri99Silvestri99 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    You've got a good feel to your comics and a common vibe that flows through all of them. Are you planning on doing any through story lines that connect them or are you just working on a bunch of different concepts ?

  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    You've got a good feel to your comics and a common vibe that flows through all of them. Are you planning on doing any through story lines that connect them or are you just working on a bunch of different concepts ?

    I think it's inevitable that at some point, I'll have recurring popular characters from whom I get more enjoyment, but I really want it to be loosey-goosey, anything goes. I like to think of Whomp! as, not so much a contiguous universe, but the insane ramblings of a damaged mind.

    The comic I'm gonna post within an hour or so is highly self-referential, and I think that is the closest I'm going to get to anything serial.

    Now, I DO very much want to do a real serial comic that isn't Whomp!. I'm still working on what style I want it to be in, and what the story will actually be. I'd like to get some more practice under my belt, but I don't think any respectable artist ever thinks he's at the level he'd like to be.

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Here's that comic y'all been hearin' so much 'bout.

    This one got a bit carried away on the self-referentiality. (I assume I made up that word, so, copyright 2010 Ronnie Filyaw. Whew, protected.)

    0029nocountryforoldthou.jpg

    Oh no he didn't!

    (Major Edit: I can't believe I forgot to color the tables. Half were brown and the other half white. I always miss something. Also, I deepened the halftoning as per Fletcher's advice in a below comment, with which I agree wholeheartedly. So, refresh if you don't see the latest image.)

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2010
    This is honestly my new favorite. You hear that Fletcher? Popularity's a fickle bitch!

    No, but seriously, these are great.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • FletcherFletcher Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    This is honestly my new favorite. You hear that Fletcher? Popularity's a fickle bitch!

    ouch, my pride! :(

    these are really good though

    please keep making them!

    i reckon the texture-y shading could possibly be done with slightly larger halftone or something

    it could just be me, but my eyes kinda hurt of i look too closely, like it's stuck halfway between a deliberate texture pattern and jpeg artifacting

    regardless i really like the drawing and the humour is juuust right

  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Fletcher wrote: »
    This is honestly my new favorite. You hear that Fletcher? Popularity's a fickle bitch!

    ouch, my pride! :(

    these are really good though

    please keep making them!

    i reckon the texture-y shading could possibly be done with slightly larger halftone or something

    it could just be me, but my eyes kinda hurt of i look too closely, like it's stuck halfway between a deliberate texture pattern and jpeg artifacting

    regardless i really like the drawing and the humour is juuust right

    You know, just yesterday I was thinking of how jealous I was about your work and how much people love you. Thanks a ton, Fletch.

    And you say the halftoning should be heavier? That's interesting. I've been debating whether my halftone has been too heavy and offputting to people, so I've been going with something lighter. But now I know that's not the case, so I'm going back to my old style, thanks again!

    (Oh, also, POKERRRRRRRR. Love your strip.)

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Aren't YOU the lucky ones!

    It's a new Whomp!, y'allz.

    0030strangethingsareafo.jpg

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2010
    Recursion in my webcomic?! Well played. The best part of what you're doing with this comic is how well they look simply in B&W, which would make printing them relatively cheap but highly effective.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Recursion in my webcomic?! Well played. The best part of what you're doing with this comic is how well they look simply in B&W, which would make printing them relatively cheap but highly effective.

    Thanks Mister! Love the new avatar. (Your picture, not the movie.)

    Unnecessary side note:
    Also, thank you all for forgiving me for the copypasta frames, despite the fact that it was indeed intentional, for anyone who wasn't sure. Anything with a curve was definitely redrawn using the old lines as a guide, but a lot of the time machine is copy pasting, which is obvious. It was to illustrate the identical nature of the events as they occurred each time.

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • MabelmaMabelma Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I must say, I love your style. The first few comics weren't all that great but after a few of them you started to pick things up and the new ones are great. I like the B&W style you got going on but maybe you could some colors here and there. Keep up the great work though, looking forward to more of them.

    Have some time, check out my blog
  • squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    These are great, but I agree with Fletcher on the halftones. The moiré pattern really hurts my brain.

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  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    squidbunny wrote: »
    These are great, but I agree with Fletcher on the halftones. The moiré pattern really hurts my brain.

    I'm sure it's a preference thing, since I like it so much, but I just wonder if there's anything else I can do to texture it in a way that doesn't make it look cliche. Just plain grayscale is really trashy, but I don't want to lose the lack of color.

    Anyone have any suggestions? Or does anyone else other than me actually prefer the halftoning?


    Edit: What do you people think of this?

    whomp30b.jpg

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • MabelmaMabelma Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I myself think that looks a lot better but it's all on your hands.

    Have some time, check out my blog
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2010
    I don't know, on one hand I like it, on the other hand I'm not so sure.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • rfilyawrfilyaw Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I don't know, on one hand I like it, on the other hand I'm not so sure.

    What might you do in my position Mister? You have a strong sense of color. How could I most utilize the scale that is gray with great tact and allure?

    ErEX7tY.jpg
    "Daddy knows what he needs, and it's Fart Patrol." - Justin McElroy
  • VeromVerom Registered User
    edited August 2010
    These are great, totally adding your site to my little list of comics. I both like that you use the halftones, but at the same time, it can start to bug my eyes while I'm reading the text, I think the texture works a lot better

  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2010
    I'm awesome help!

    I think you've got the right idea. I like the original moire patterns, but I completely understand where it's painful to the eyes after a while. I'd recommend trying the same pattern, but increase it's size here and there. As in, don't use it uniformly for the whole comic. Try a larger version of the moire pattern for large surface areas, like the ground.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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