Things you'd like to tell people but can't

Hunter

PiptheFair wrote:

Hunter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Rankenphile wrote:

I'm sorry that I was too stupid to realize that you really liked me, back in high school. I mean, sure, you even flashed me your tits while you were in my car, and you kissed my cheek another time when I was feeling really glum, but you were dating a dude I was scared of and I was pretty fucking stupid about girls back then.

But I ain't got time to dwell on what could have been.

Man, I think all of us were that kid in high school.

What the fuck were we thinking?

Personally, I was an idiot in HS. If I met me as a teenager I would totally kick my ass.

yes

The best part is when you run into a girl you knew in HS and she's all "why didn't you ask me out, I was into you and tried to let you know". I had a girl say that to me who was freaking hot then and still is quite hot. I wish to hell I was smart enough to figure shit out like that at 17. I probably just went home and beat off to her or something lame instead of actually dating her and most likely getting some.

Man I was a fucking stupid shit.

Rankenphile

Slungsolow wrote:

the day I get an invitation to a high school reunion is the day the US Government starts putting mind altering drugs in the drinking water.

peeps fucking hate me now.

hard to imagine, I know

Jennifer

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

Faricazy

i'm all out of cantalopes

Rankenphile

Hunter wrote:

PiptheFair wrote:

Hunter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Rankenphile wrote:

I'm sorry that I was too stupid to realize that you really liked me, back in high school. I mean, sure, you even flashed me your tits while you were in my car, and you kissed my cheek another time when I was feeling really glum, but you were dating a dude I was scared of and I was pretty fucking stupid about girls back then.

But I ain't got time to dwell on what could have been.

Man, I think all of us were that kid in high school.

What the fuck were we thinking?

Personally, I was an idiot in HS. If I met me as a teenager I would totally kick my ass.

yes

The best part is when you run into a girl you knew in HS and she's all "why didn't you ask me out, I was into you and tried to let you know". I had a girl say that to me who was freaking hot then and still is quite hot. I wish to hell I was smart enough to figure shit out like that at 17. I probably just went home and beat off to her or something lame instead of actually dating her and most likely getting some.

Man I was a fucking stupid shit.

you do realize a question like that is basically an invitation into her panties, right?

Druhim

I haven't been to any of my HS reunions. I've keept in touch with most of the people I care about so why should I care what those other schlubs are up to?

Callius

Homeless wrote:

I am in high school.

I can say with relative certainty that I am a HUGE idiot.

Here's a hint... if you she shows you her tits, she probably wants you to play with them.

Hunter

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

I'll try that but I'll need you for a control group.

SCIENCE! :winky:

Slungsolow

Rankenphile wrote:

Slungsolow wrote:

the day I get an invitation to a high school reunion is the day the US Government starts putting mind altering drugs in the drinking water.

peeps fucking hate me now.

hard to imagine, I know

The real reasons I am disliked would be rather hard to explain, but it involved lots of cocaine, a police officer and a big black dude named "Oomps" who hung out at a 7-11.

Druhim

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

But then how do I find the g-spot?

Rankenphile

Druhim wrote:

I haven't been to any of my HS reunions. I've keept in touch with most of the people I care about so why should I care what those other schlubs are up to?

actually, I'm looking forward to mine, as there are a few people who I lost touch with that I completely regret not seeing any more

other than that, though, it looks to be a festival of painful memories and awkward silences

Jennifer

Callius wrote:

Damn it, woman. Divorce him, go visit the guy you really want to be with, and send me nudie pics.

stop looking at my soul.

PiptheFair

Hunter wrote:

PiptheFair wrote:

Hunter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Rankenphile wrote:

I'm sorry that I was too stupid to realize that you really liked me, back in high school. I mean, sure, you even flashed me your tits while you were in my car, and you kissed my cheek another time when I was feeling really glum, but you were dating a dude I was scared of and I was pretty fucking stupid about girls back then.

But I ain't got time to dwell on what could have been.

Man, I think all of us were that kid in high school.

What the fuck were we thinking?

Personally, I was an idiot in HS. If I met me as a teenager I would totally kick my ass.

yes

The best part is when you run into a girl you knew in HS and she's all "why didn't you ask me out, I was into you and tried to let you know". I had a girl say that to me who was freaking hot then and still is quite hot. I wish to hell I was smart enough to figure shit out like that at 17. I probably just went home and beat off to her or something lame instead of actually dating her and most likely getting some.

Man I was a fucking stupid shit.

I'm only 21 but goddamn pretty much every story on the last 2 pages I realized as soon as I was out

it was pretty much me going "Fuck, what the fuck was I thinking?" and then just getting really pissed off and blowing something up in a game or something

Hunter

Rankenphile wrote:

Hunter wrote:

PiptheFair wrote:

Hunter wrote:

Callius wrote:

Rankenphile wrote:

I'm sorry that I was too stupid to realize that you really liked me, back in high school. I mean, sure, you even flashed me your tits while you were in my car, and you kissed my cheek another time when I was feeling really glum, but you were dating a dude I was scared of and I was pretty fucking stupid about girls back then.

But I ain't got time to dwell on what could have been.

Man, I think all of us were that kid in high school.

What the fuck were we thinking?

Personally, I was an idiot in HS. If I met me as a teenager I would totally kick my ass.

yes

The best part is when you run into a girl you knew in HS and she's all "why didn't you ask me out, I was into you and tried to let you know". I had a girl say that to me who was freaking hot then and still is quite hot. I wish to hell I was smart enough to figure shit out like that at 17. I probably just went home and beat off to her or something lame instead of actually dating her and most likely getting some.

Man I was a fucking stupid shit.

you do realize a question like that is basically an invitation into her panties, right?

I'm very happily married now, but in HS I was free to nail her all day and night. Like I said, I would kick my HS self's ass in a second if I ever met him. It's my reasoning for trying to invent time travel.

TankHammer

Hunter wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

I'll try that but I'll need you for a control group.

SCIENCE! :winky:

Seems like a flawless plan.

Slungsolow

Druhim wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

But then how do I find the g-spot?

oh, that's easy... just give her access to your checking account.

Hunter

Druhim wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

But then how do I find the g-spot?

It's a myth, like the Yeti or global warming.

PiptheFair

fuck man that cute bi girl on the bus that gave me a kiss when I was down oh and that other girl that kept trying to get into my pants who had the huge cans and goddamnit why the fuck argh rawr kwmbjnbsrjnb

Druhim

Slungsolow wrote:

Druhim wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

But then how do I find the g-spot?

oh, that's easy... just give her access to your checking account.

What's a cantaloupe going to do with access to my checking acct?

Homeless

My dick is locked in a box.

Yet I stay.

fuck

naporeon

I never really failed to pick up the signals from girls in high school, except with that one I mentioned before. And I was only a sophomore, 15, so it didn't matter anyhow.

I still feel pretty lucky, all these years laterl; older, and totally regret free. And man, high school was great practice for college.

Callius

Jennifer wrote:

Callius wrote:

Damn it, woman. Divorce him, go visit the guy you really want to be with, and send me nudie pics.

stop looking at my soul.

No.

PS: I totally expect those pictures.

Jennifer

Druhim wrote:

I haven't been to any of my HS reunions. I've keept in touch with most of the people I care about so why should I care what those other schlubs are up to?

ha ha. you said reunion(S). old person. Mine was last year. I did not go. my class sucked. I hung out with the class before me and the one before that.

PiptheFair

Hunter wrote:

Druhim wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

But then how do I find the g-spot?

It's a myth, like the Yeti or global warming.

fuck you I wanted to do this

Hunter

Kantankeris wrote:

Hunter wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

I'll try that but I'll need you for a control group.

SCIENCE! :winky:

Seems like a flawless plan.

For the record, I yell that all the time at work. Just like the guy from the Thomas Dolby song. It usually ends up with me setting something on fire or melting something someone said couldn't be melted.

naporeon

Callius wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Callius wrote:

Damn it, woman. Divorce him, go visit the guy you really want to be with, and send me nudie pics.

stop looking at my soul.

No.

PS: I totally expect those pictures.

He says this to everyone.

PS. Still waiting for a return email from them, Cal. Then, all systems are go.

Slungsolow

Druhim wrote:

Slungsolow wrote:

Druhim wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

But then how do I find the g-spot?

oh, that's easy... just give her access to your checking account.

What's a cantaloupe going to do with access to my checking acct?

I thought you were using a derogitory term for an italian girl.

PiptheFair

Jennifer wrote:

Druhim wrote:

I haven't been to any of my HS reunions. I've keept in touch with most of the people I care about so why should I care what those other schlubs are up to?

ha ha. you said reunion(S). old person. Mine was last year. I did not go. my class sucked. I hung out with the class before me and the one before that.

unky dru is 40

lostwords

Druhim wrote:

Slungsolow wrote:

Druhim wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

But then how do I find the g-spot?

oh, that's easy... just give her access to your checking account.

What's a cantaloupe going to do with access to my checking acct?

Buy flowers and chocolates for slutty watermelons behind your back

Slungsolow

It's kind of hard to not see the signals when a girl sneaks into the boy's locker room to watch you shower.

TankHammer

Jennifer wrote:

Druhim wrote:

I haven't been to any of my HS reunions. I've keept in touch with most of the people I care about so why should I care what those other schlubs are up to?

ha ha. you said reunion(S). old person. Mine was last year. I did not go. my class sucked. I hung out with the class before me and the one before that.

Dru's like in his 40s and hangs around the malt shop with all the young kids so he can stay hip and score from the girls with daddy issues.

Also: I'm still pretty bad at picking up girls' signals. My last one let me know by saying "Oh I put too much moisturizer on my hands, would you like to share some?"
I'm not fucking joking.
I love her.

Jennifer

Druhim wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

But then how do I find the g-spot?

Well if you are the rare breed that looks for it then the cantalope is not for you my friend. you acutally need a vagina for that.

Hunter

Slungsolow wrote:

It's kind of hard to not see the signals when a girl sneaks into the boy's locker room to watch you shower.

Why didn't she use the peep hole like the football coach?

Slungsolow

Hunter wrote:

Slungsolow wrote:

It's kind of hard to not see the signals when a girl sneaks into the boy's locker room to watch you shower.

Why didn't she use the peep hole like the football coach?

actually my gym teacher used to watch the whole class shower every day. he called it hygiene 101.

the example above applied to my jr year prom date sneaking into the boys locker room to ask me out.

Jennifer

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Druhim wrote:

I haven't been to any of my HS reunions. I've keept in touch with most of the people I care about so why should I care what those other schlubs are up to?

ha ha. you said reunion(S). old person. Mine was last year. I did not go. my class sucked. I hung out with the class before me and the one before that.

Dru's like in his 40s and hangs around the malt shop with all the young kids so he can stay hip and score from the girls with daddy issues.

Also: I'm still pretty bad at picking up girls' signals. My last one let me know by saying "Oh I put too much moisturizer on my hands, would you like to share some?"
I'm not fucking joking.
I love her.

oh I know all about dru. we go waaay back. he knows things about me. him and callius are my peeps.

TankHammer

Jennifer wrote:

Druhim wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

Kantankeris wrote:

Jennifer wrote:

girls are nothing but trouble.

Thanks for the insider information Jennifer, but seriously, where else can we get a vagina? I'd like to hear the answer for that.

I hear that if you drill a hole in a cantalope and warm it in the microwave you can get a similar affect.

But then how do I find the g-spot?

Well if you are the rare breed that looks for it then the cantalope is not for you my friend. you acutally need a vagina for that.

I don't get enough verbal feedback from cantaloupes, sorry. Maybe the future will have the answers I seek.

Jordyn

what if my penis is bigger than a cantaloupe?

Callius

Uh, dudes... I'm pretty sure Jennifer knows how old Grandpa over there is.

Darth Waiter

Danielle, I had the most amazing crush on you. And then I found out that you rolled around naked in latex paint for your senior art exam and tried to get me to see it but were too nervous. What. The. Fuck. How could you have been as nervous as me? We talked everyday for three years! Why couldn't you say anything?

We would have had the most good-looking kids. I shit you not, woman.

naporeon

Jordyn wrote:

what if my penis is bigger than a cantaloupe?

[obligatory "your sig makes this better" comment]