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Team GMT Present to you the Third Annual [Phalla]Awards! (OP Updated Again!)

GumpyGumpy There is alwaysa greater powerRegistered User regular
edited August 2010 in Critical Failures
The Third Annual Phalla Awards

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Known as the most meddlesome meddlers to ever be, the Phallites have had their hand in an incredible amount of key events that have taken place in the histories of all the species, cultures and universes ever to exist. Fabled tricksters and legendary leaders, they drop in and out of the lives of great heroes and monstrous villains in order to push their own agendas.

Years ago, the battles between Phallites caused the deaths of hundreds, waves of destruction exploding from any point of conflict. Hundreds of individuals who could play the most powerful individuals like puppets fought against each other in the most bitter battles, blind to the greater picture. It was in this chaotic situation that the great Thorgot plotted, schemed, weaving a spidery web of lies and intrigue unlike any previously seen.

In a period of days, he activated his trap. All Phallites were caught off guard, too invested in their own personal conflicts to have the force mustered to counter him. His victory was absolute.

"Phallites!" he decreed, "You have lost a sense of your original purpose, too invested in unpleasantness to realise the damage you do to yourselves, and all of reality! Thus, I have created the Phallawards to remind us all that this is a game, and not something more serious or sinister, and all those who do not attend will have the snot beaten out of them!"

And thus, every year, Phallites meet up to recognise past achievements, congratulate each other for old efforts, and learn from previous mistakes. This is the third annual Phallawards, a celebration of all that we have ever achieved!

Rules
  • Vote will close at 12 PM GMT every day for a few weeks
  • Vote in an appropriate color for each award and make it clear which award you are nominating or voting for if there are two.
  • Inactivus hungers, but we have some pretty sweet shielding over the ceremony, so don't sweat it!
  • Any direct quoting of Role PM's may result in Ears being Eaten
  • All pro board made during this game must be linked to the hosts, and they must be pretty damn great
  • This is about roasting and toasting, not flaming and shaming. Speak your mind, but don't be the rain on our glorious parade
  • All actions are to be sent to Squashua. Clarification requests should be posted in the thread or PMed to the GM (Gumpy). Mr Blarney was seen around these past few days, he probably has the vote counts for the entire award period already
  • If you received a PM, you have to participate. If you didn't receive a PM, you have to participate. If you don't participate, you will regret it!
  • We're hunting guest narrators because ya'll pretty cool dudes with the ability to put words on paper that are fun to read! Hit me up via PM's if you want to give it a go!
  • Games that are in progress may not be discussed.
Player List
    Everybody who has ever played.

Miscellaneous

These awards cover the past year. All games ending before June 3rd, 2009 are disqualified. All games ending on or after June the 3rd are eligible. All games ending after August the 7th 2010 are disqualified. All games, no matter what PA Board they were run on are qualified if run during this time period.

The list of old games can be found here
Here is a link to the previous awards.

Schedule

Week 1 (6/7 to 6/14)

Dunadan wins Most Typecast Player (Always Evil, Always Watching Award)
Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game (All according to plan Award) (Nominations)
Kay wins Most Mentally Disturbing Narration or Post (Keeping the lights on Award)
The winner of the Most Veteran Play by a New Player (Baby With a Shotgun) Award is Pigeonking!
The winner of the Best / Worst Post Restriction (They made me do it!) Award is FWD!
The winners of the Lions led by Sheep Award, for the most blatant misuse of power or authority by a Player or Group, are Dunadan, and… erm… Gumpy! In a tie vote!
Memest Meme (The Hilarious award) (Nominations)
The "Most Over the Top Player" award goes to... Fiaryn!
The "Most Vulnerable" award goes to... Daniant!
Delphinidaes is the Winner of The Best or Most Exciting or Coolest or Most Epic Role Claim or Reveal (The "IT IS I, INACTIVUS" Award)
Most Chaotic Day goes to Cake vs Pie! That wasn't even death related! What a twist!
The Award for closest game goes to Unknown Armies!
The Award for Most Helpful Player goes to Mr Blarney and Infidel!
The Award for best Duo also goes to MrBlarney and Infidel!
Rawkking Goodguy and Delphinidaes win best betrayal for arivia’s last.fm mini!
Lemminghead wins The Prettiest Princess Award for Least Offensive Player!
LaOs wins the "Squashua went away to live on a farm honey" Award for best Player who Hasn't been in a Game this Year.
Spectrum 5 win best abuse of Game Mechanics
Spectrum wins the award for the most hardcore player


Week 2 (6/15 to 6/22)

Best Writing By a Host or Co-Host (The Bestselling Novelist Award) goes to Edcrab
The bonus award for Most Hilariously Complicated or Confusing Phalla goes to The Montauk Project!
Every single role PM in American Media Phalla wins the "You're a Demon from the pits of hell and your ability is Vote Manipulation" Award for best Role PM!
Most Innovative Game Mechanics (The well its really a tabletop wargame award) goes to MrBlarney
A Duck! wins the PHALLA WENT ANOTHER YEAR WITHOUT BEING COMPLETELY ABOLISHED award for best mod or admin.
Best Team (The Bros forever award) goes to the Spectrum 5 (But... Which one?!?!)
Infidel wins the MY NAME IS OZYMANDIAS, LOOK AT MY SIG YE MIGHTY AND DESPAIR award for best avatar/sig combo for his avatar/sig that used TRANSFORM!
Most influential player (The Best Example award) goes to B:L!
Arivia wins the "OKAY TURNS OUT I FORWARDED THE MAFIA LIST TO THE VIG, SORRY GUYS" award for biggest hosting blunder for the extended delay of last.fm 2.
Best Host (The why does he do these things for us award) goes to BLARNFIDEL!
The winner of Most Improved Player (The "sniff... They grow up so fast... Now to mafia kill him day 1..." Award is KAY!
The winner of the "Jack of All Trades" Award is KIME!
Best Player (The Victorious award) goes to... Burnage and Infidel?!
Final Phallantasy Tactics and Fate/Stay night tie and share the "IT'S JUST LIKE EPISODE 5 WHERE BAXTER SHOOTS MARLEY" award for the phalla that stayed truest to its host material.
Best Game, Mini (That was a blast award) goes to Left4Dead and Rolling Green Hills
Burnage wins the "I WISH I HAD MORE GUNS FOR ALL THIS KILLING I GOTTA DO" award for the most underpowered special for playing a muse with the power of suicide in last.fm 2, literally just existing so the mafia could kill him for a power upgrade.
Best Game, Main (Hats off to you award) goes to Persona:a
Gumpy wins all other awards. All of them





Bonus Awards (in some order and timeframe according to whim)
Will be announced in the previous days narration!

People Who Will Be Narrators List
  • Gumpy (The Best)
  • Edcrab (The Writer)
  • Burnage (The Horror)
  • Daius (The Darian)
  • you?? (The You?!)

Questions I have for you

Are we missing anything critical that should be represented here? Of course not! We're great! (Tell us anyway)

The awards will follow last year's model. Nominations will occur one day. Any nomination which is seconded will be available for vote the next day. Please provide a link (if applicable or available) to give people a more informed choice.

Do you want to narrate a night? Of course you do. PM me.

Gumpy on
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Posts

  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited August 2010
  • BurnageBurnage Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Nothing will possibly go wrong.

  • GumpyGumpy There is always a greater powerRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Today we're accepting nominations for Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game (All according to plan Award), two lime votes will successfully nominate your Blunder and/or Meltdown!

    We're also voting in Pink for the Bonus Award: Most Typecast Player (Always Evil, Always Watching Award). Vote for him/her in Plum!

    Perimare_zpsfcce2f1c.png
  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Yes! finally something my game list can be put to good use!
    Gumpy wrote: »
    Today we're accepting nominations for Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game (All according to plan Award)

    I nominate samurai for his performance on the mafia boards in arivia's last.fm mini

  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I actually don't know who to give my lime vote to...any suggestions, guys?

    Oh, but I do know who's getting the bonus award! kime, because his legacy must live on!

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  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Alegis wrote: »
    Yes! finally something my game list can be put to good use!
    Gumpy wrote: »
    Today we're accepting nominations for Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game (All according to plan Award)

    I nominate samurai for his performance on the mafia boards in arivia's last.fm mini

    Hahahaha

    Oh man

    Thanks for reminding me of that

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  • AriviaArivia Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Eee! Phalla awards!

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  • romanqwertyromanqwerty Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Alegis wrote: »
    Yes! finally something my game list can be put to good use!
    Gumpy wrote: »
    Today we're accepting nominations for Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game (All according to plan Award)

    I nominate samurai for his performance on the mafia boards in arivia's last.fm mini

    Seconding Samurai so hard!

    Edit: Now i understand what inspired this and makes it seem a little less harsh.

  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I hear a voice it the distance

    It calls...

    I RETURN


    Addition:

    Also, I might as well spin kime a PM so he doesn't miss getting his award.

    Unnecessary. kime hears all, you cannot hide

    By the way, when are the next sign-ups going up?

    3DS Friend Code: 3110-5393-4113
    Stream - Offline
    Battle.net ID: kime#1822
  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    maybe for most hilarious single blunder the guy who PMd his entire mafia rolePM to his friend Fabulous (who forwarded it to Infidel and me) in Gumpy's Spectrum Phalla.

    'Can you give me some tips on what to do?'

    May 25 02:35:05 <Alegis> oh my what did fabulous do
    May 25 02:41:29 <Infidel> oh wow
    May 25 02:41:32 <Infidel> wtf hahaha
    May 25 02:41:37 <Infidel> uhhh
    May 25 02:42:24 <Alegis> What the fuck indeed
    May 25 02:42:35 <Infidel> that looks legit mafia

  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    kime wrote: »
    I hear a voice it the distance

    It calls...

    I RETURN


    Addition:

    Also, I might as well spin kime a PM so he doesn't miss getting his award.

    Unnecessary. kime hears all, you cannot hide

    By the way, when are the next sign-ups going up?
    Holy. Fucking. Shit.

    YOU HAVE RETURNED

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  • AriviaArivia Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Edit: Now i understand what inspired this and makes it seem a little less harsh.

    I was going to link this! :P

    Samurai6966 but for this glorious shitfit, not the one in last.fm 1. Seriously, take a look: pretty exquisite.

    Hm.

    Do we have a spare mini spot?

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  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Alegis wrote: »
    maybe for most hilarious single blunder the guy who PMd his entire mafia rolePM to his friend Fabulous (who forwarded it to Infidel and me) in Gumpy's Spectrum Phalla.

    'Can you give me some tips on what to do?'

    May 25 02:35:05 <Alegis> oh my what did fabulous do
    May 25 02:41:29 <Infidel> oh wow
    May 25 02:41:32 <Infidel> wtf hahaha
    May 25 02:41:37 <Infidel> uhhh
    May 25 02:42:24 <Alegis> What the fuck indeed
    May 25 02:42:35 <Infidel> that looks legit mafia
    Are you serious? Can you post that message? Because that person is so getting my vote.
    Spoiler:

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  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Although in Lucedes' faction mini I remember sending a PM to the wrong person ... of an enemy faction.
    Twice

    'Hey Lawinator is your enemy you should kill him.

    To: LAWINATOR'
    post messag-WHAT NO OH SHI-message sent

    TheRoadVirus
  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Arivia wrote: »
    Do we have a spare mini spot?
    D&D&P finished today, Transmet might be finishing today as well. This is taking up the main spot, so after Transmet there'll be zero minis running.

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  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Well, with kime back I guess there's no need for Akiyama anymore. Say hi to my new avatar!

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  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Are you serious? Can you post that message? Because that person is so getting my vote.
    Spoiler:

    This was the PM we got from SirFabulous
    Spoiler:

    had to dig through a couple proboards to find the right one
    so many proboards that game

  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    That is the best. Too bad I have to wait for Fab to get on here so I can vote...

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  • AriviaArivia Registered User
    edited August 2010
  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Well it's extermatott who did the first forwarding. But jesus the whole 'you may be mafia target now because I told them you would be in my group' was quite a clusterfuck message to get

    gonna vote in Plum for Maximus

    Always Inactive

  • AriviaArivia Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Arivia for always drunk

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  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    You should be drunk more often. It's hilarious. :P

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  • InfidelInfidel Heretic Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Oh hay.

    Heading out to write an exam in a minute, saturday morning exams are a sin.

    TwitchTV channel: OrokosPA OrokosPA
    Play D&D 4e? :: Check out Orokos and upload your Character Builder sheet! :: Orokos Dice Roller
    The PhalLounge :: Chat board for Critical Failures IRC! :: #CriticalFailures and #mafia on irc.slashnet.org
  • ronrabronrab Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Only the power of PHALLAWARDS was able to bring back kime!

  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    You should be drunk more often. It's hilarious. :P

    Also how about that media phalla game where no one started masoned of the village

    'CAN I TRUST MY MASON BUDDIES?'


    how the hell did you survive the vote for 3 days

  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    It was a game with factions, so I assumed everyone was masoned. Obviously, not a very good assumption.

    ...wait, does any of this have anything to do with drunk Rivs?

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  • AriviaArivia Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Drunkrivs staging a break-in into mass effect phalla was pretty good.

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  • Romanian My EscutcheonRomanian My Escutcheon Two of Forks Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Gumpy wrote: »
    Today we're accepting nominations for Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game (All according to plan Award), two lime votes will successfully nominate your Blunder and/or Meltdown!

    Orange Soda, for fooling the Village into voting out a Vanillager in Tron Phalla.
    We're also voting in Pink for the Bonus Award: Most Typecast Player (Always Evil, Always Watching Award). Vote for him/her in Plum!
    Arivia wrote: »
    Arivia for always drunk

    Seconded.

    Gotta watch out for those tables. :P

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  • TeucrianTeucrian Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Is it bad form to nominate yourself?

    Teucrian for not knowing what team he was on for the last three days in Dunadan's musical chairs phalla. Illiteracy is a terrible thing.

    Oh, and I'll second Alegis's suggestion of Maximus.

    Edit to add musical chairs link: http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=122715&highlight=musical+chairs

  • Rawkking GoodguyRawkking Goodguy Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    sir fabulous for the above, well-discussed blunder. I'm fairly certain both him and extermatott need to be nominated so we can have a great vote-off between them, but I personally think sir fabulous's blunder was even more hilarious (or annoying since it made infidel's behavior even more vague as he got a role that wasn't even in the original game design due to it).

    Edit: NOTHING TO SEE HERE

  • KayKay What we need... Is a little bit of PANIC.Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I am observing. You can trust me, I'm as good as confirmed (good)!

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    3DS FCode: 1993-7512-8991
  • adventfallsadventfalls Why would you wish to know? Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Extermatott for the lolz.

    Also, can we suggest awards? Because I think I have a few ideas.

    NintendoID: AdventFalls 3DS Code: 3454-0237-6080
  • Rawkking GoodguyRawkking Goodguy Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Also, can we suggest awards? Because I think I have a few ideas.

    Gumpy sort of implied that in the OP, in his Gumpish sort of way.

    On that note, grudgiest grudge better well damn be a bonus award! Even if I think this was already discussed on IRC a while ago.

  • samurai6966samurai6966 Registered User
    edited August 2010
    While I do hope to win this award, I can not take it without showing Without showing Orange Soda's Explosion that does make my rant a hissy fit. Orange Soda

    Echo wrote: »
    Yeah, some times I just want to get my farm in shape without being bothered by green explosive dildos.
  • adventfallsadventfalls Why would you wish to know? Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Sent some award ideas to the Gumpster. Hopefully we'll see some of them?

    NintendoID: AdventFalls 3DS Code: 3454-0237-6080
  • REG RyskREG Rysk Lord Rageface Rageington Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Extermatott for Spectrum. There is no other choice.

    Also, my bad on that Lucedes mini Alegis!

  • BurnageBurnage Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    While I do hope to win this award, I can not take it without showing Without showing Orange Soda's Explosion that does make my rant a hissy fit. Orange Soda

    How did that post not get infracted?

  • samurai6966samurai6966 Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Burnage wrote: »
    While I do hope to win this award, I can not take it without showing Without showing Orange Soda's Explosion that does make my rant a hissy fit. Orange Soda

    How did that post not get infracted?

    Because I just infracted SkyCaptain on accident and I really didn't want to do it again. And everyone else didn't seem to want to.

    Echo wrote: »
    Yeah, some times I just want to get my farm in shape without being bothered by green explosive dildos.
  • Dunadan019Dunadan019 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Burnage wrote: »
    While I do hope to win this award, I can not take it without showing Without showing Orange Soda's Explosion that does make my rant a hissy fit. Orange Soda

    How did that post not get infracted?

    everyone was too busy celebrating to click the report button.

  • CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes Rule Capital WastelandRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Man, everyone's talking about things that happened before I got here.

    I guess I'll just vote for INNS on the last day of the Blackest Night Phalla

    And here I thought Kime had returned from the grave just to vote for this.

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