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[D&D4E] The EverDoor (The Writer's Block Special)
VanityPants
Gokai Red!Registered User regular
Gokai Red!Registered User regular
THE EVERDOOR
The planes are divided. This is how it has always been. Beyond each plane is a door. In one world it may be a brass gate, in another a round door in a hill, and in another still it may be a metal door built within a fortress.
All doors lead to the same place.
A place you find yourself awakening in now.
You may know it as the Grand Hall, or heaven. You may not have known it at all.
Either way, as you open your eyes, you are startled by the sensation. It feels as if your body is limitless. Everything is numb, nearly tingling, in that space that most mortals would recognize as the sensation between being awake and being asleep. Being a deity, feeling anything like this at all is a shock.
The sky above you is an explosion of colors. Green, blue, purple. It seems as if whoever built this world couldn’t make up their mind.
You’re lying on something hard and cold, and if you put your hand down you might feel that it is shaped like scales.
You’ll also notice that you’re not alone. There are four of you in total, all awakening at once. More importantly is the figure that hovers over the group of you. It nudges one of you first with its giant, felt beak. Then it nudges another, and takes a small peck, harmlessly.
“My oh my, dearest me,” he says in a chittering voice.
The creatures stands up to its full height. It is easily fifteen feet tall. You can see all the ripples of its feathers -- but wait, they aren’t feathers at all. It seems to be made of paper, or perhaps cardboard? A material you might not even know of. He tilts his head to an odd angle and you see the fringe of cotton sticking out between the layers of the bird.
“Whatever are we to do with you? It's not polite to leave rubbish lying about like this," he croons, looking off into the distance. If you were to follow his gaze, you'd see a long and winding path, like a hallway lined by many doors. Only there are no walls, and there's no ceiling in this hallway. Only a vast, changing sky.
What will you do?
OOC: Welcome, fellows of The Writer's Block and most welcome Observers! This is your thread. In it, you will post. Or spectate.
Out of Character conversation will be kept under a small divider at the bottom of any post, or behind a spoiler! You should post at least once per day every weekday. Do feel free to post more. If you can't post on the weekend, that's okay!
Any dice rolling will be done at: www.invisiblecastle.com -- just tell me what the results are, I trust you all. Put the dice rolls behind a spoiler, if you will, to keep the gobbledy-gook out of the main chat.
Now, let me introduce you to your classmates:
BEAST: Carlton, the God of Liquor Boobs // Lois, the God of County Law! // and Pete, the God of Line Dancing Cowboys // (To note: This is all one character. BEAST is playing a schizophrenic.)
Traikan: As DarkShadow13, the God of the Internet
LiquidDark: As Handy, the Petty God of Not Letting Things Go
Munkus: As the God of Death (Waiting to find the link to the orokos sheet.)
VanityPants on
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Posts
"What manner of place is this, Beast? Are you another agent of Li? Did the All-Father send you?
Except without the mace and the long spikes on the head. And with long cracks of glowing orange across the armor.
And it looks like I get to be the straight man this game. Wonderful.
As the feeling dawns on you, you notice the giant owl looking down on you. Its eyes are deep and endless, and it crouches low to the ground to put its face in front of yours. It takes a deep breath, and when it lets it out you feel a gust of air that nearly bowls you over.
The owl stands back up and begins to preen its feathers.
The owl takes a good long moment before it responds, with what appears to be almost a clever smile (if it was possible, and you're beginning to believe anything may be in this world) playing on his beak.
"The all-father? Haha," the creature laughs, its beak clattering together loudly as it does. "We're much higher than that, now. This is the Grand Hall, and I am the master of it. Darktalon Birdfellow. Watch your tongue when you talk to me!" He says, and raises one of his taloned feet, as if to hold up a finger in warning. "You're nothing but a mouse!"
"WTB 1 revert patch, buff darkshadow lol."
He looks around.
"Fake and gay."
Second, behold Darkshadow13!
Yes, he's Optimus Prime.
"What have you done to me, Darktalon? "
"A talking bird? What the heck? You been suckin' down the tit sauce too much, pardner?" he thought to himself.
"Not that I can remember, my mouth doesn't taste like vomit or tit sweat so I'm gonna assume that's a negative," responded Carlton.
"Lois? Anything?"
"Are we gon be on tv?" Lois cried emphatically, "This County Law? I can't see any'a them there cam-e-ras but maybe they be watchin' us from the sky? County law, county law!!!!"
Pete sighed and shook his head. Slowly he sat up. "Owl dude, what in the high hell is going on here?"
"Me? My oh my, no. You must learn some manners!" He snaps his beak, a vague immitation of snapping fingers.
The elemental suddenly feels his body twisting inside of its armor. Were he to have a mirror handy, his jaw might drop in shock.
Standing there in the hall, the Elemental turns into a 5-foot tall chicken wearing the same black armor.
"And you," he snaps at Darkshadow13. The mechanical brat is suddenly dressed all in pink, his shirt bedazzled in the shape of a unicorn, stretched over his metal chest. "Simmer down."
The owl then moves on. You notice the hallway twisting and feel for the first time that the room you're in is moving. You see the hallway curve out further down, as creatures that look like jellyfish with wings fly through the sky.
The owl straightens up, stretches its neck and snatches one from the sky. You can see the lump in his throat as the creature wiggles down. The owl swallows it whole and wipes at his beak with his wing.
"Now it seems to me," he says thoughtfully. "That the PingPong Robot Monks in EverDoor thirty-two were right! The darkness has come back to steal the power of the gods. Why he chose to steal your powers," he says and leans down in the face of the schizophrenic god. The owl's breath is foul, and if you're standing it makes you fall to your knees. "Well, maybe just poor taste. All the same, we must decide what to do-hooo!" He hoots.
He draws forth a quill and scratches something on his arm, which is already covered in a dense array of symbols and lines. He keeps his eyes fixed on the bird the while. Finally he looks down to the arm and sees the deep red scratches left behind by the pen. A look of confusion crosses his face. He stands up and stomps around angrily, staring at everyone with suspicion. "What did you do with my Keeping Track of Stuff pen? How's a guy supposed to keep track of stuff without a Keeping Track of Stuff pen? Hey, where is this place anyhow?"
He looks over at the bird. "Don't think I'm forgetting all that stuff you said," he growls, tapping the side of his head and nodding at the creature. "You think I forget those kinds of insults, you can forget it." He makes a grab for the bird, trying to pull it down to his level.
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
Darkshadow13 leans over towards Moloch and whispers quietly, "Don't feed the trolls."
As Handy reaches, he's able to seize one of the owl's prized, preened, feathers. The owl pulls back, the paper tears off in Handy's handsy hand.
The owl's eyes change from a deep black to a stunning, vibrant pink.
"How dare you!" He opens his beak wide. A ripple travels from the owl's talons to his throat. Once, twice, three times.
On the third time, something comes out like a small burp. You think it might be all over.
Then, a noxious green ooze comes out like a geyser. It hits Handy squarely in the chest, sizzling hot against his skin and dripping from him.
As the ooze drips, the hall begins to shutter and shake.
"Oh no, now look what you've done!" the owl shivers and shakes, and burps again.
The hall twists violently. You feel as if your feet are leaving the ground, like the room is suddenly going up a steep hill. Due north, you see that the black path IS suddenly arching upward. It twists right, and you have to struggle to keep your footing!
---
The rest of you: Make an Acrobatics check to stay on your feet.
I'm going to simplify things and just tell you now: If you roll above a 10, you manage to stay where you are, and can roleplay it that way.
If you get 9 or below, you're falling backwards down the hall. I'll tell you what happens to you if that's the case.
"Whoa buddy, you've got to get up pretty early in the morning to knock me off my feet. I'm the best bullrider where I comes from, my balance is su-perb."
For the moment, he clucks.
A 17.
[11,1] = 12
(I'm assuming I needed to roll, but disregard if not).
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
He manages to shout "Lame!" before face planting.
1d20+1 → [5,1] = (6)
You see in crystal clear detail the expression on Darkshadow13's face as he goes down in front of you, scrambling for footing.
The room twists again, and he's sent flying backwards through the hall.
The owl lifts up one of its massive wings, and lo, a portal appears down the hallway, black as space! Darkshadow13 falls straight into the portal. The owl claps his beak together and opens another portal at the far end of the hallway, creating a loop in the vortex.
As the rest of you steady yourselves, Darkshadow falls through an endless loop. Down the hall and through a portal in the south -- then he pops out of the portal in the north, only to go careening back into the southern portal again.
More importantly, if you look up, you'll see now that the hallway has twisted up above you to create an artificial ceiling.
You notice you're not in a hallway at all.
You're on the scaled back of a dragon, and you can see his face straight above you, nearly 100 feet in the air from the sheer length of him.
It's at that moment of seeing his face that he flips and turns, and the lot of you tumble from his back (including DarkShadow), tossed into the pitch.
You're falling so steadily that it almost feels as if nothing is happening, until you notice the clothing whipping around and see no ground in sight.
"You foooools!" You hear the Owl cry, though you can't see where he is.
" CLUCK!" (Darktalon!)
Darkshadow13's voice screeches an insensitive wail as he zips past the rest of the group repeatedly before being hurled into space.
"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
As he is a construct, Darkshadow13 does not need to breathe.
"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
This goes on for a while.
"If we're going to be slamming into the earth at a thousand miles an hour we may as well figure out whatever we can beforehand," he shouts, trying to cant his head just right so that his words are not simply ripped outward and upward, away from the group. "The last thing I remember is...is...hey, you," he says, knocking on Darkshadow13's metal cranium, "You want to stop screaming for a sec? I swear, you're worse than my sister Soundra, and she's the goddess of Making a Big Stink About Things."
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
Something hits Darkshadow13 on the head.
"Wut?"
He turns towards Handy, flailing about as he tries to maneuver himself without anything to brace against. When he sees Handy, Darkshadow13 pauses for a moment, then shrugs.
"Fucking Space Owls, how do they work?"
"What? No lasso you stupid bird? There goes my hopes of bundling us all together like sticks."
"Just grab onto them," yells Carlton over the whistling wind. "Right here." He says as he reaches for their chests. All the breast grabbing over the years has strengthened his boob grabbing fingers.
Lois just wondered when they'd be on tv, her little mind couldn't fit much else at the moment.
You're falling through the void, clinging desperately to one another. Jellyfish swim by lazily through the sky as you pass. Endless amounts of colors pass you by. Colors you never thought existed. Red. Orange. Blorange. After a few minutes it may even feel boring.
That is when you first notice him. A small man in a complete orange space suit, helmet on. He swims gracefully along with you, chasing after a jellyfish. He curses when it evades him again, pulls a small gun and shoots the jellyfish down.
And that is when he notices you. He seems to stop swimming, and start falling along with you, calmly.
"Oh, hello there, who is this?" He says with a perfect Italian accent.
"My name is ...
GENTLEMAN BUTTONS"
He says as he removes his helmet.
"I don't usually see you around these parts. How are you on this fine Flibbertyday?"
"Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong!"
You're not completely sure that he speaks chicken.
But for a moment, you see something glint in his eyes -- that he might like to see you on a dinner plate sometime.
The look passes and he shakes his head. "Oh, I am ever so sorry." He says and snaps his fingers. Before the group, Moloch's feathery form changes and he loses his cluck.
Moloch is now a large cat in a suit of armor.
"There, that's much better, isn't it?"
He turns his keen eyes to Darkshadow13, then. He pauses and strokes his whiskers.
"New Gringle dialect? Heavens, but you must be straight from the upper eighth sector! Glinklao ni paw paw shew wii?" He asks and laughs as if he's part of some inside joke with Darkshadow13, now. "I never thought I'd find someone from back home! Plao pew, she woo. Won't you come to my home with me? Falling can be ever so tiresome."
He extends an armored paw toward Gentlemen Buttons and begins to purr carefully. "Rrrrrrowrrrrrrrrrr." (You will change me back to my Elemental form. You will tell me where I am. You will get on your knees and beg me to be merciful!)
"KK."
Then he looks over at Moloch's display.
"Cat fight, someone take pics!"
At the second insistence, something changes in Gentleman Button's eyes -- softens, relaxes.
"Yes, sir, of course, sir, right away, sir," Mister Buttons mews quietly. He paws at his face cutely, and Moloch is transformed back into his superior form. Mister Buttons cowers.
"Will you let me show you to my home for a spot of tea to make up for all of this trouble? I'm sure someone as powerful as you would like to stop falling."
"Yes! I wish to stop falling this instant!" He looks at Darkshadow13 briefly, adding "And make that nuisance shut up!"
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
Floating now in the void, the surroundings become clearer. Colors bloom like flowers, and then wilt. Stars shoot through the sky quickly and dim.
The cat looks at Handy, thinking.
"Well, I suppose we could have tea here, though my oh my, I do prefer the comforts of my own home," he says, licking at his paw. "That is, of course, if my Lord would allow it. No, no! You must not tempt me. It will be as my lord wishes," Gentleman Buttons nods firmly and bows his head to Moloch.
"Should we return to my abode for some Earl Grey?"
The cat mews for a moment and Moloch regards the others with them.
"What? What of them!? I don't know who the hell they are. You could let them fall for all I care."
Moloch pauses for just a moment...
"You are humans right? You could worship me, right?" Moloch flicks a piece of stardurst off his armor.
"Sounds like a solution to me."
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
"Oh heavens, what a terrible fate. Falling for all eternity, surely! Come, master, I'll take you all for tea."
Gentleman Buttons regards Handy, nodding. "It's easy to make friends in the void. I understand. Also easy to lose them, best to keep hold tight! Now, the fifth star on the left," he says, and begins to ... for lack of a better term, swim through the cosmos.
If any of you try, you'll notice that you can actually swim through the sky.
Gentleman Buttons takes you all to what looks to be an asteroid feel. He settled on the fifth largest in the cluster. You notice it's strangely empty, but comfortable enough. He shows you to his house, a squat thing built of cardboard boxes.
Inside there is a quaint table, a dash of milk in a bowl set near the door. It smells like cat litter.
"Won't you have a seat? I'll get the tea started." He gestures to the table and hurries into the kitchen.
OOC:
Also: I'm driving home tomorrow, so that's a 5 hour chunk of my day taken up. I may be unable to post then (Thursday) -- but I'll try my best to put something up when I get in, make any replies I need.
RP as you'd like!
But something was wrong this time...his will was being resisted somehow.
Perhaps this was the final fate of Sluigoth?! But...no. No...how could Sluigoth be turned into that many people?
Moloch, faced with a new mystery, quickly decided that blaming Li was the answer.
He would know more when he met the Earl but for now...
He turns to Handy, "You are human, but beyond my grasp. Why?"
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
Darkshadow13 searches for a monocle, ignoring the rest of the group as they banter and talk.
He glances occasionally at the bowl of milk in the corner, and cautiously sniffs the air a few times.
"Sophisticated cat is sophisticated, but cardboard cat house is made of cardboard. And smells."
The cracks along Moloch's armor glow a bright orange. "Stop that! Stop saying those...things! What infernal language are you speaking!?"
@oldmanhero .programming .web comic .everything
You've taken your seats at the low table in Gentleman Button's living room. It's a cozy, if small, house. There are apples on the table in a burlap sack, tied up with a length of rope. A small bed is in the corner with what would seem to you to be a more realistically sized cat sleeping atop one of the pillows. A fireplace is at the far wall. Fine tapestries decorate the cardboard fixtures.
"Oh dear, oh dear, the lid on this teapot seems to be stuck. Just a minute, fine fellows!" The Gentleman calls from inside the kitchen. You hear more china rustling, then the sound of something popping.
Just when you might be thinking of getting annoyed at the wait, the roof of the small house begins to shake. It only shakes for a second before it's ripped completely off.
Peering in over the new sunroof are four huge, armored giants. They have long, spindly legs and big hulking heads, with no bodies to speak of. Their eyes are nothing more than red pinpoints in their bronze bodies. They seem to survey the scene before resting their gaze on you. They step within the walls of the house to confront you, now, and make strange clicking noises as they do.
Just then, the kitchen door bursts out and Gentleman Buttons marches in. He's carrying a china plate with a fancy teapot in one hand and a sharp knife in the other. He has a mean glint in his eyes, which are now black as pitch. You notice without any difficulty that there's something ... different about the Gentleman now. He caresses the teapot closely and meows loudly at you.
"Make your peace with the dirt, petty deities! ROLL INITIATIVE!" And it is a voice unlike any you've heard before -- it certainly isn't Gentleman Buttons. It's as if a frog is in his throat and is croaking out his short replies.
----
OOC:
Sorry to keep you waiting. Without further wait, let's get to the action!
I have a map all ready and I'll put up an image of it as soon as the initiative results are up!
Darkshadow13 hesitates a moment before reacting, muttering to himself, "Why did he say 'Roll Initiative'? I mean uh..." he glances at the rest of the group for a moment, before continuing more loudly "lol metagaming, I thought this was an RP server."
The cracks in Moloch's armor erupt in bright crimson. "I knew it! The Earl was another one of Li's traps!"