Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!
Up until last Thursday, I had never had a panic attack (that I know of) but I recently became worried about not falling asleep Thursday night, because that could ruin my day at PAX, and this gave me a panic attack: specifically shortness of breath. Not being able to breath prevented me from getting to sleep and you should be able to guess the loop that occurred. This happened every night at PAX. Some sleeping medication helped, but not by a whole lot.
I thought that now that PAX is over, the stress would be gone and the panic attacks would stop (god how I hoped and prayed that would happen.) but they didn't and I'm seriously terrified. Sleep is one of the most important things in my life, and I'm honestly crying about this. This is the single most horrifying thing to ever happen to me.
To give a more detailed description of what happens. Originally, when I was trying to fall asleep I'd just think about random stuff (the story from a book or a movie I saw recently, for example.) until I things started to blur together and I fell asleep. But now I worry about being able to breath, so I unintentionally take over control of my breathing, and and then I start panicing and I can't focus on something else to take mind off controlling my breathing. I can't fall asleep while controlling my breathing, and then comes the full on panic attack with the shortness of breath.
The only thing that works is to either be so out of it that I don't think about this shit (I'm guessing booze would do that) or to be so exausted or medicated that I very rapidly fall asleep (and even that's a chore not to get worked up before I fall alseep.)
I know this problem will eat my life and I totally don't know what to do. As soon as I think about sleep, the process starts. I don't think I have ever felt this terrible and scared in my entire life.