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Well, nothing really that formal though it sounds pretty rad.
Basically, I'm looking for some focused feedback on a poem. Do the line breaks work or are they too fumbling? What do you think/feel about the lines themselves and where/how the lines break?
Of course anything else is fair game, but I'm particularly playing around with enjambment a bit more.
He looked up at the night
and the night was blinded
by lamp posts scattered
evenly the black sky without a wrinkle
and his feelings of revelation as bright
incandescence, deemed everyone
including the poet next to him she
closed her fist white
knuckles a soft blue
vein stretching up
and continuing up as she raised to him
her middle finger
a bit like a student raising her hand
i have a question, i have
questions, listen to me