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Familly troubles
Jean
Heartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered User regular
Heartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered User regular
Some background info first : My mother is 64, my father is 66, I am 26. I am the only children from their marriage.
Something very troubling happened Saturday Night. Slightly past midnight, my mother call me. Her words were : YOUR FATHER IS DYING, COME RIGHT NOW. Such urgency in her words, such sadness... coupled to the fact her usual bedtime is 9pm and she never calls that late....
Obviously, all that made me panicked beyond words so I came to their house as fast as I could.
I found my father in his bedroom, very much alive. He have obviously seen better days, but he wasnt in any immediate danger of dying.
Age is very much catching up to him. His hair is whitening and thining. He had a very bad cough for 2 stragith weeks that wont go away. His work is stressing him a lot.
It's however obvious than he's not on the verge of death. Of all people, my mother should be the first to realise this. I dont think the details are relevant but she was on death doorsteps back when I was a child... she knows what its like to be almost dead, to put it bluntly. My father's health is nowhere as bad as hers was.
I spent the night at their house. In the morning it was like all that drama never happened. I spoke to both of them since then.. no mention of Saturday's night. I lacked the courage to broach the subject first.
I feel like I should be fucking pissed at my mother for making me panic like that yet ... I cant.
I only have question hauting me. WHY? Why did she do this?
It's the first time she ever called me at such a late hour. It's the first time she ever said my father's like was in danger. Pulling something like this is not in her habits. AT ALL.
What's going on? Why the panic?
i've kept all that inside since it happened but I cant hold it no more....
Something very troubling happened Saturday Night. Slightly past midnight, my mother call me. Her words were : YOUR FATHER IS DYING, COME RIGHT NOW. Such urgency in her words, such sadness... coupled to the fact her usual bedtime is 9pm and she never calls that late....
Obviously, all that made me panicked beyond words so I came to their house as fast as I could.
I found my father in his bedroom, very much alive. He have obviously seen better days, but he wasnt in any immediate danger of dying.
Age is very much catching up to him. His hair is whitening and thining. He had a very bad cough for 2 stragith weeks that wont go away. His work is stressing him a lot.
It's however obvious than he's not on the verge of death. Of all people, my mother should be the first to realise this. I dont think the details are relevant but she was on death doorsteps back when I was a child... she knows what its like to be almost dead, to put it bluntly. My father's health is nowhere as bad as hers was.
I spent the night at their house. In the morning it was like all that drama never happened. I spoke to both of them since then.. no mention of Saturday's night. I lacked the courage to broach the subject first.
I feel like I should be fucking pissed at my mother for making me panic like that yet ... I cant.
I only have question hauting me. WHY? Why did she do this?
It's the first time she ever called me at such a late hour. It's the first time she ever said my father's like was in danger. Pulling something like this is not in her habits. AT ALL.
What's going on? Why the panic?
i've kept all that inside since it happened but I cant hold it no more....
"You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
Jean on
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As for your panic, you're realizing your parents are mortal and won't be around forever.
I mean, we can speculate, but you should really talk to her about this. If they've been together so long, it's possible that she's really troubled about his health, or about hers, or about theirs. Do they have life insurance? Plans for what one will do when the other dies? None of that is very pleasant to think about, but it was a strange incident. It's obviously bothering you, and maybe something is bothering her too.
As Esh said, just talk to your folks about it; there's absolutely no reason not to. No need to make a big deal about it even, a simple "Man, last night was crazy. Nearly gave me a heart attack, mom! *chuckle* What was that all about?" would suffice.
I would talk to her about it. Don't skirt around the issue either, be honest but gentle. You definitely need to address this issue with her, though, if only for her sake.
My mother told me she feels terrible for making me worry and cry like that. She promised to never do that again. She barely even tried to defend what she did Saturday's night..She was very relieved when I told her I wasnt mad at her, just confused as hell. I have no reason to doubt her sincerity.
My parents are still very much in love and my mother is terrified at the tought of loosing the love of her life.
My father has been stuck with the same horrible cough for 2 weeks now yet he refuse to go see the doctor. Nothing my mother or I will say can make him change his mind I fear even tough he's shooting himself in the foot by being that stubborn
My advice would be to keep on broaching the topic of a doctor's appointment to diagnose the cough before it get worse (hopefully it is something mild). I realize that he might not want to know something's wrong but it's better knowing than having something serious sneak up on you.
Steam: CavilatRest
Have you asked your father to visit the doctor, for your mom's sake? Having the same cough for two whole weeks sounds bacterial, and he may need a course of antibiotics. Let him know that he owes it to his wife, his kids, and himself to make sure his health is in order.
Of course they do. My father say he dont want to wait, than by the wait he get an appointement he'll already be better. I suggested going to a private clinic (my parents have more than enough money to afford that) but he was very unreceptive to that suggestion.
I have 2 possible causes in mind : Either his smoking past is catching up to him (he stopped smoking when my mother got pregnant with me but he did smoked for 20+ years prior that) or it's caused by stress. Only a qualified doctor could diagnise for sure what's going on in his body tough.
Unless it becomes a pattern, I guess you can only hope it's lesson learned?
This is the first thing i thought of. Might also be alzheimers or some other neurlogical disease, it happens as people get older. Im not saying send her off to a home or freak her out by telling her to go to the doctor, but it might be worth it to kind of keep an eye on her to make sure she isnt acting strange. If it is something like that, catching it early is beneficial, as there are treatment options available.
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