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[BLANK WHITE CARDS] Role play party, you are the subs, I am the dom

simonwolfsimonwolf i don't carei'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
edited January 2011 in Critical Failures
ONE THOUSAND BLANK WHITE CARDS

So wait what is this crap

Remember that game, Calvinball? It's pretty much exactly like that, except online and with Photoshop.

Huh. Go on.

One Thousand Blank White Cards is a card game. Every player gets five cards. They go around one at a time, drawing one card and playing one card on their turn. Play continues until the deck runs out. A really simple concept, I know, but it gets a little more complicated/insane, so bear with me.

The trick in the game is that, generally, you're writing the cards, because the majority of cards in the deck are blank. You can do pretty much whatever you want with a card - make up a rule, destroy rules, modify rules, give people titles, make horrible and unreasonable demands, give points, anything you really want. Here's an example from a game that I was in:

cardwangville.jpg

Note the important elements: a title, an image, and what the card does. These are the three things that are pretty much required in every card, but things can get a little stranger as time goes by:

BITCHES.jpg

Or even

006Edcrab_DodgyComicBookPhysics.jpg

Or possibly

319Hylianbunny_RamonaFlowers.jpg

Listen I think you're getting the idea.

Wait hold on this isn't making sense

That's the intention, yes.

Why are we doing this

To win, of course! Kind of.

Cards will often hand out points, cards, glorbnaks, evil ex-boyfriends, etc. This is perfectly alright, but a true player of One Thousand Blank White Cards knows the point is to be funnier than all the other fuckers playing this game. If you make people laugh, you're winning. If you don't make people laugh, you're a loser and will never be cool, ever.

you can't tell me what to do, you're not my real dad

I am now, baby.

I'm running the game, my powers are boundless and unconstrained by the cards of players. I reserve the right at any time to ruthlessly remove anyone from play for not posting a card within 24 hours of their turn, or if they are terminally stupid. I am a loving dictator.

so how do I sign up

Register your interest in here, and PM me with five cards you have made to be included in the deck. I'll be accepting the best five people to apply. Let's go for it!

simonwolf on
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Posts

  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    WITNESS THESE, LAWS OF INFALLIBILITY:
    I. Laws May Not Be Altered By Players.
    II. My Word Is Law.
    III. You MUST Play A Card Within 24 Hours Of The Start Of Your Turn, Or Your Turn Is Forfeit.
    IV. Forfeit Two Turns, You Will Be Replaced.
    V. Any Card Requiring A Player To Do Something Will Have A Deadline Of That Player's Next Turn And Not Sooner.
    VI. Every card does exactly what is says on the card. You may not errata a card in your posts. If there is a dispute, refer to Law I.
    VII. Spectators are welcome as long as they post in italics.


    Law 5 has been created to prevent the game from sputtering when we had to wait for everyone to decide whether or not they were traveling widdershins before the game could continue. You may complete any tasks prior to your turn coming round with no penalty.

    As an additional side note, I will be intervening in the game with special cards when I please if I feel the game needs a gentle nudge.

    Blank White Cards in Your Hand Look Like This:

    blank.png

    USE THIS CARD AS A TEMPLATE (ERASE THE TEXT). ALL NEWLY MADE CARDS MUST BE 300x400!

  • Abysmal LynxAbysmal Lynx Registered User
    edited November 2010
    It's time for this Vice-President to become President. Maybe I'll get a chance to bust out the cards I made for the first game but never used. Expect my cards soon.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited November 2010
    Simonwolf you are a glorious person

    Expect my cards soon

    bigbosssig.png
  • EvilBadmanEvilBadman DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I was totally going to start a game of this soon, but then I wanted to play Gamma World. As such, I am definitely playing this.

    FyreWulff wrote: »
    I should note that Badman is fucking awesome
    XBL- Evil Badman MD; Steam- EvilBadman; Twitter - EvilBadman
  • samurai6966samurai6966 Registered User
    edited November 2010
    I'm in. Even BLOPS can't hold me back.

    Echo wrote: »
    Yeah, some times I just want to get my farm in shape without being bothered by green explosive dildos.
  • Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    If I was any good with photoshop I'd be in this like a Seething Octopus on Blu-Ray. As I'm not even remotely competant at it though, I'll just have to be a spectator. Make me proud all of you.

    Damn.I just had amazing ideas for cards too. I guess we'll never see a Mechaloctopus or a Betterfree card. *WINK*

  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Hooray

    We've got four people expressing interest and two sets of cards submitted, so I'm hoping we'll get one more within the next day or so, that way we can kick this game into high fuckin' gear.

  • psolmspsolms Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    consider this interest. 5 cards, says you?

    damn it fab. now if i put my mechaloctopus in, people will think it was your idea.

  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Yes, like it says above, you make five cards as your sign-up and PM them to me, and I will determine the best five people (also the most hilarious people) to join the game.

    Of course if we only get five people to sign up, I will just have to murder all of you.

  • Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    psolms wrote: »
    consider this interest. 5 cards, says you?

    damn it fab. now if i put my mechaloctopus in, people will think it was your idea.

    8-)

  • psolmspsolms Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Five interested parties and three sets of cards submitted, "oh god", "we're getting close"

  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    3 cards finished

  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    And finished. Sign up.

  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Okay, we now have five people who have submitted cards!

    Everyone now has twenty-four hours to submit cards before I close sign-ups and start the game.

    edit: shit now we have six people who have submitted cards, might have to expand the player limit from five to six

  • Abysmal LynxAbysmal Lynx Registered User
    edited November 2010
    The more the merrier. I've already got new ideas for cards brewing.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited November 2010
    I got my cardin' gloves on

    Gonna card you all so hard

    bigbosssig.png
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Well I went and got surprise drunk on a Tuesday night and am currently on the train home from some Japanese bar with a cute girl who I made awkward passes at, but is there any other kind.

    Our lucky winners are also the only people who sent in cards, the sexy people hereafter known as Abysmal Lynx, Daius, EvilBadman, psolms, MrBlarney, and the ever-sexy Alegis.

    Opening hands and turn order to be sent out/posted in the next hour or so.

  • EvilBadmanEvilBadman DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    simonwolf wrote: »
    Well I went and got surprise drunk on a Tuesday night and am currently on the train home from some Japanese bar with a cute girl who I made awkward passes at, but is there any other kind.

    Our lucky winners are also the only people who sent in cards, the sexy people hereafter known as Abysmal Lynx, Daius, EvilBadman, psolms, MrBlarney, and the ever-sexy Alegis.

    Opening hands and turn order to be sent out/posted in the next hour or so.

    For the players, our decent into madness will begin shortly.
    For our GM, the alluring distractions from the game already have.

    FyreWulff wrote: »
    I should note that Badman is fucking awesome
    XBL- Evil Badman MD; Steam- EvilBadman; Twitter - EvilBadman
  • Abysmal LynxAbysmal Lynx Registered User
    edited November 2010
    Man, I'm looking forward to this. There's nothing quite like the first hand.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    GAME START

    PLAYERS
    Daius [0 points] <
    YOUR TURN
    Alegis [0 points]
    Abysmal Lynx [0 points]
    EvilBadman [0 points]
    psolms [0 points]
    MrBlarney [0 points]

    You have twenty-four hours after the beginning of your turn to post a card. Summaries will be posted when I can. Unless there is a major hold up, continue playing until the end of a round, but play ceases as soon as the last player finishes their turn, and does not begin again until I have posted a round summary and sent out everyone's new cards/dealt with any major shenanigans.

    Some early clarification:
    Any die rolls, coin flips, or other random allocation will be done by me.

  • DaiusDaius Registered User
    edited November 2010
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Daius decides that this thread needs a lot more D&D all up ins, and changes the thread title to reflect this sudden change in system. Apparently everyone needs to roll a character to dicuss as part of the out of character discussion, which is a perfectly acceptable course of action.

    All characters must be made by your turn in the next round, if needs me.

    PLAYERS
    Daius [0 points]
    Alegis [0 points] <
    YOUR TURN
    Abysmal Lynx [0 points]
    EvilBadman [0 points]
    psolms [0 points]
    MrBlarney [0 points]

    Globals:
    • Thread is now a DnD OoC thread.

  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    So I can play either a card or make one with a blank card?

    god I don't know how to make a DnD character. uhhhh

  • Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Does the D&D rule pertain to spectators as well?

  • psolmspsolms Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    grrr... Warlocks of the Peninsula is always money hungry jerks. This new blank card builder is teh worst.

    anyways, heres my character.

    Gary, level 1
    Gnome, Warlord
    Commanding Presence: Inspiring Presence
    Birth - Among Another Race: Among Another Race (Dragonborn)
    Background: Birth - Among Another Race (Among Another Race (Dragonborn))

    FINAL ABILITY SCORES
    Str 14, Con 11, Dex 10, Int 18, Wis 10, Cha 16.

    STARTING ABILITY SCORES
    Str 14, Con 11, Dex 10, Int 16, Wis 10, Cha 14.


    AC: 18 Fort: 13 Reflex: 15 Will: 14
    HP: 23 Surges: 7 Surge Value: 5

    TRAINED SKILLS
    Intimidate +10, Diplomacy +8, History +9, Athletics +6

    UNTRAINED SKILLS
    Acrobatics -1, Arcana +6, Bluff +3, Dungeoneering, Endurance -1, Heal, Insight, Nature, Perception, Religion +4, Stealth +1, Streetwise +3, Thievery -1

    FEATS
    Level 1: Improved Inspiring Word

    POWERS
    Warlord at-will 1: Commander's Strike
    Warlord at-will 1: Opening Shove
    Warlord encounter 1: Coordinated Offensive
    Warlord daily 1: Lead the Attack

    ITEMS
    Adventurer's Kit, Short sword, Light Shield, Hide Armor, Hand Crossbow, Crossbow Bolts (60)

  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Alegis wrote: »
    So I can play either a card or make one with a blank card?

    god I don't know how to make a DnD character. uhhhh

    Yes that is correct.
    Does the D&D rule pertain to spectators as well?

    I am pretty sure this is a D&D OOC thread now.

  • samurai6966samurai6966 Registered User
    edited November 2010
    D&D sucks. I want robots in my fantasy world. :winky:

    Echo wrote: »
    Yeah, some times I just want to get my farm in shape without being bothered by green explosive dildos.
  • Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I'm Durk the Half-Dwarf (You never see half-dwarves)
    Str: 2
    Con: 2
    Wis: 2
    Dex: 2
    Int: 2
    Cha: 700
    I charm the pants off of everything. Literally.

  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Generator time.

    Walter, Male Human Wizard 1
    Neutral Good

    Strength 5 (-3)
    Dexterity 11 (+0)
    Constitution 12 (+1)
    Intelligence 16 (+3)
    Wisdom 15 (+2)
    Charisma 15 (+2)
    Size: Medium
    Height: 6' 0"
    Weight: 150 lb
    Total Hit Points: 5

    Quarterstaff [1d6/1d6, crit x2, 4 lb., two-handed, bludgeoning]

    Feats:

    Animal Affinity
    Persuasive
    Scribe Scroll [free to wizard]
    Bluff Cha 5.5 = +2 + 1.5 + 2 [persuasive]
    Climb Str* -3 = -3
    Concentration Con 1 = +1
    Diplomacy Cha 3.5 = +2 + 1.5
    Disguise Cha 4 = +2 + 2
    Escape Artist Dex* 1 = +0 + 1
    Forgery Int 4 = +3 + 1
    Gather Information Cha 2 = +2
    Handle Animal Cha 5 = +2 + 1 + 2 [animal affinity]
    Heal Wis 2 = +2
    Intimidate Cha 5.5 = +2 + 1.5 + 2 [persuasive]
    Jump Str* -3 = -3
    Listen Wis 2.5 = +2 + 0.5
    Ride Dex 2 = +0 + 2 [animal affinity]
    Search Int 3 = +3
    Sense Motive Wis 3 = +2 + 1
    Use Magic Device Cha 3 = +2 + 1
    Equipment:

    Weapons / Armor / Shield (from above)
    Soap
    Spellbook x1

    Despite his high int and wis, this forger didn't get how to 'wash his hands clean'

  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I play 34542322.png

    and I flip a coin that has a head unlike these stupid yen coins

    you'll have to trust me that it just landed heads because I am a pretty cool person

  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Alegis decides to leave his coolness to the flip of a coin, forgetting that I already said that all coin flips will be dealt with by the GM! Fortunately, I also land on heads, so his coolness is guaranteed.

    PLAYERS
    Daius [0 points]
    Alegis [0 points] Pretty Cool
    Abysmal Lynx [0 points] <
    YOUR TURN
    EvilBadman [0 points]
    psolms [0 points]
    MrBlarney [0 points]

    Globals:
    • Thread is now a DnD OoC thread.

  • psolmspsolms Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    would it be too OotS to have it so that Gary is always pulling pranks on Walter?

    cause if no one minds, I kinda want to go in that direction.

  • MrBlarneyMrBlarney Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Oooh, I'm hating this game already. I have no idea what kind of character to make (and with my eye for correctness, you know I will be spending way too much effort on building a character that will never see any use) and the cards that I submitted for the game are far too conventional for the types of shenanigannery that occur in the forum format. What the hell.

    chirisigtext.png
  • psolmspsolms Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    just you wait blarney. just you wait.

  • Abysmal LynxAbysmal Lynx Registered User
    edited November 2010
    http://4e.orokos.com/sheets/2735

    Hey guys, can you please stop hitting on my character just because she's female. It's starting to get a little weird.

    82292686.png

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • EvilBadmanEvilBadman DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    ====== Created Using Wizards of the Coast D&D Character Builder ======
    Derpdaherp level 1
    Elf, Monk
    Build: Centered Breath Monk
    Monastic Tradition: Centered Breath

    FINAL ABILITY SCORES
    Str 11, Con 10, Dex 20, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 8.

    STARTING ABILITY SCORES
    Str 11, Con 10, Dex 18, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 8.


    AC: 19 Fort: 12 Reflex: 16 Will: 14
    HP: 22 Surges: 7 Surge Value: 5

    TRAINED SKILLS
    Acrobatics +10, Athletics +5, Perception +10, Stealth +10

    UNTRAINED SKILLS
    Arcana, Bluff -1, Diplomacy -1, Dungeoneering +3, Endurance, Heal +3, History, Insight +3, Intimidate -1, Nature +5, Religion, Streetwise -1, Thievery +5

    FEATS
    Level 1: Unarmored Agility

    POWERS
    Monk at-will 1: Five Storms
    Monk at-will 1: Steel Wind
    Monk encounter 1: Drunken Monkey
    Monk daily 1: Masterful Spiral

    ITEMS
    Monk Unarmed Strike, Cloth Armor (Basic Clothing), Adventurer's Kit, Ki Focus
    ========================================================================

    @Abysmal: Since we are all D&D characters, please solve the Tomb of Horrors. Thanks in advance.

    49596255.png

    FyreWulff wrote: »
    I should note that Badman is fucking awesome
    XBL- Evil Badman MD; Steam- EvilBadman; Twitter - EvilBadman
  • simonwolfsimonwolf i don't care i'd rather sink -- than swipe right for bradRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Abysmal Lynx decides that he'll help Layton get some more puzzles, in return for some delicious Pictarats. EvilBadman decides that he likes his cards the way he likes his Franknfurters - transexual. From here on out, all the cards are now reversed in gender, until some dudes take pictures of themselves wearing women's clothing.

    All players must PM Abysmal Lynx a puzzle to solve by start of his next turn.

    PLAYERS
    Daius [0 points]
    Alegis [0 points] Pretty Cool
    Abysmal Lynx [0 points]
    EvilBadman [0 points]
    psolms [0 points] <
    YOUR TURN
    MrBlarney [0 points]

    Globals:
    • Thread is now a DnD OoC thread.
    • All cards are now the reverse of their listed gender until we see some dudes in women's clothing.

  • psolmspsolms Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    upto11.jpg

    medly medly medly medly meeeeeeeee! meeeeee! me me me meeeee medly meeeeee!

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