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Gatorade and its many flavors (other flavors too I guess)

MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
edited November 2010 in Social Entropy++
So. While in the drink aisle of our local supermarket, my dad and I noticed that a few of the Gatorade bottles had no identifiable flavor name, no descriptors of flavor like "Berry" or "Orange" or anything that could be remotely identified as a taste adjective. Since it was a sale of 4 for 5 bucks, I shelled out a Lincoln and got four of the worst offenders with regards to flavor name, to see if we could come up with better flavor names.

We couldn't. Oh well.

The culprits:

Cool Blue

Glacier Freeze

FROST Glacier Freeze
(as opposed to the normal variety listed above)

Frost Riptide Rush

Once we got home from the store, after putting away our other groceries, we sat down with little plastic cups (along with my younger sister, who also wished to join in) and began our tasting.

We started with

COOL BLUE

LOOK:
Now, while three of these are blue, this one is the darkest of the three, with a slight bit of cloudiness.

SMELL:
It doesn't smell offensive at all, almost like very sweet fruit. There is a decided hint of blue raspberry, but it's mostly subdued by the sweet smell.

TASTE:
The flavor remains strangely constant throughout the entire time it is in the mouth, leaving with the same sweet fruit taste it arrives with, and leaving absolutely no aftertaste whatsoever. A bit surprising in that respect, but certainly not bad.

OVERALL:
It isn't bad at all. I'd pick it up and drink it if it were offered.

Then we moved on to

GLACIER FREEZE

LOOK:
This is a lighter shade of blue, about on par with windshield wiper fluid, but entirely clear. Foreshadowing perhaps.

SMELL:
Acrid. Bitter. Not good. BAD. But we all agreed to taste these flavors, and so... bottoms up. As a note, the smell remained in my cup for the remainder of the tests. It just would not go away.

TASTE:
Well... where it is in your mouth doesn't taste THAT bad. When it LEAVES your mouth, the horrible bitterness attacks, making your mouth almost burn. The aftertaste remains for minutes afterward, only being forced out by the arrival of something else. And even then some of it lingers on the back of the tongue.

OVERALL:
Only insane people could drink this and enjoy it. Or people who like really bitter things. I've had soap in my mouth that tastes better than what I would have confused for

FROST GLACIER FREEZE

LOOK:
The shade of blue is identical to the non-Frost variety, but this is cloudy, making me think even more of windshield wiper fluid. As a precaution I poured much smaller servings to myself and my father, as my sister had dropped out after the bitterness of Glacier Freeze.

SMELL:
Mostly bitter, but there is that sweet fruit smell from Cool Blue to ameliorate the evil bitterness from the standard Glacier Freeze.

TASTE:
It tastes nothing like it smells, surprisingly enough, tasting mostly of salt (which is the sixth listed ingredient on the bottle). There is barely a bit of assorted fruit but overall not nearly as bad as I had expected from the non-Frost sibling.

OVERALL: I don't particularly like it, but it isn't flagrantly offensive like the original version.

FROST RIPTIDE RUSH

LOOK:
Like Frost Glacier Freeze, this is cloudy, but instead of a light blue, this is a dark purple color, making one think immediately of grape.

SMELL:
Shampoo. No, seriously, this has the same soapy smell that the cheap VO5 shampoo I use when I don't have anything better has. Plus a bit of grape.

TASTE:
Diluted shampoo and cheap grape kool-aid, essentially. Then further diluted another three times. Since it mostly tastes like water, it isn't nearly as offensive as, say, Glacier Freeze.

OVERALL:
Frost Riptide Rush is passable, mainly because it doesn't taste horrible. It SMELLS bad, but is far far tamer than it smells luckily.


Why do I post this? Because I feel that people need to be warned before they become curious and buy Glacier Freeze on a whim like I did. It wasn't worth it. The other three aren't terrible, and I think I might even like Cool Blue

But then again it is fucking gatorade. it isn't meant to be drank just cause.

Spoiler:

MechMantis on
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