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So, i'm a 25 year old male, who for the last 10 years has been single for a handful of months.
I currently find myself single and feeling the familiar pang of loneliness and heartache. However, I feel that my usual way of getting over relationships of getting into a new relationship is starting to become self-destructive. I think I have co-dependency issues and that my happiness now hinges on me not only being in a relationship, but giving 110% of myself to the relationship, even to the point where I know its not good. In my mind, I feel that being in a shitty relationship is still better than being single as at least im not alone.
I want to be able to be happy by myself and wait out the whole dating scene for a bit. Unfortunately, this is such an alien thing to me that I don't know how to do it. In the past 10 years, I seem to have pushed the majority of my friends to the side in my quest to give my all to each of my relationships. I still have some who are awesome and put up with my bullshit, but they have lives of their owns - wives, houses, and several have moved out of state.
And I know that time will heal all wounds, but in the meantime - how do I reteach my brain that being by myself is not inherently a bad thing?
Some say that the Blood Angels are tainted: that they harbour a dark secret. I know this to be true. I have seen the infamous Death Company: wild-eyed and foam-mouthed berserkers who tear their enemies limb from limb, crush skulls with a single blow, snap spines and rip out inner organs. I have seen the Sanguinary Priests: the passing of blood filled chalices from lip to lip, heard their wracking lamentations of Sanguinus's death. I have watched their rituals: mighty warriors daubing their armour in the blood of their foes, heard them crying for vengeance against the enemies of the Emperor.