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ITT there is a lack of sister tits...

1356721

Posts

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited January 2007
    oh man this thread may need to include my story of getting arrested with "male pornography"


    give me a bit to type it up

  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    But you totally got to feel her tits up, right?

    ... oh jesus, that's gross.

    I grossed out Callius. I think my work is done here.

    And no, Callius, removing blood-soaked bandages off of my sister is not an erotic act; I'm from Texas not Appalachia.

    You didn't gross me out, really.

    I saw my sister give birth man, whatever.

    tonksigblack.png
  • Dr_KeenbeanDr_Keenbean Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    Butters wrote:
    So you are saying one can get those pictures if one were to provide scotch in return?
    I can neither confirm, nor deny, the existence of said pictures without a sampling of the wares. "A bump", if you will.

    And yeah, BEJ, I had to help her with the bandages about two weeks after the reduction. It looked like she had been broadsided by a Louisville slugger.

    But you totally got to feel her tits up, right?



    ... oh jesus, that's gross.

    No. Keep going. I'm almost done.

    PSN: Dr_Keenbean LIVE: Dr Keenbean
    Dr_Keenbean42.png
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User
    edited January 2007
    In high school, my Human Sexuality teacher filmed herself giving birth to her twins and showed it to us

    And, yeah, vaginas? No thanks

    25jyxzr.jpg
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Redeemer wrote:
    Callius wrote:
    Redeemer wrote:
    potatoe wrote:
    Redeemer wrote:
    All whores do
    you would know

    icon_teach.gif

    Change your title to "iWhore"

    I'm gonna need a little persuading

    Yeah... well... you're a whore and you're on the internet.

    tonksigblack.png
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Cowboy Fwankenstein Livin' That DreamRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Casey went from 36DD to 36C; granted, she is 5'3" so that DD was killing her back. It's actually one of those things that was very necessary because she's fairly active.

    Callius: Shucks. No vomit points today.

    darthsig.jpg
  • sarksark Registered User
    edited January 2007
    Butters wrote:
    So you are saying one can get those pictures if one were to provide scotch in return?
    I can neither confirm, nor deny, the existence of said pictures without a sampling of the wares. "A bump", if you will.

    And yeah, BEJ, I had to help her with the bandages about two weeks after the reduction. It looked like she had been broadsided by a Louisville slugger.
    what size was she/did she go to?

    I had a friend of a friend go in for a reduction and she still walked away with D-cups.

    Was it for aesthetic reasons or health/aesthetic reasons?
    i went to high school with a girl that had two reductions, and still had the biggest tits in the school. she wasn't fat either. she just had gigantic hooters.

    tron4.png
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    Redeemer wrote:
    Callius wrote:
    Redeemer wrote:
    potatoe wrote:
    Redeemer wrote:
    All whores do
    you would know

    icon_teach.gif

    Change your title to "iWhore"

    I'm gonna need a little persuading

    Yeah... well... you're a whore and you're on the internet.
    he's a terrible whore
    i have seen no nudes of him at all

    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Casey went from 36DD to 36C; granted, she is 5'3" so that DD was killing her back. It's actually one of those things that was very necessary because she's fairly active.

    Callius: Shucks. No vomit points today.

    When I say that I saw my sister give birth I'm not like "in the room and holding her hand" or some shit.

    I'm talking stretched vagina with a baby head getting pushed out the cooter type shit.

    tonksigblack.png
  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    lostwords wrote:
    This should be a crazy sister thread. I know a few of you guys have some crazy ones (Defender, Callius, etc).

    I am jealous, because my sister is a boring studious asian college girl who's only crazy is for white dudes.

    What the hell? Your sister is a boon to society! Don't be jealous of the ones who have shitty sisters.

    PS is your sister hot?

    hello massa, I jar jar binks
    I've overheard someone say "Don't say something is retarded, its not cool to make fun of retards. Just say its gay."
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    Casey went from 36DD to 36C; granted, she is 5'3" so that DD was killing her back. It's actually one of those things that was very necessary because she's fairly active.

    Callius: Shucks. No vomit points today.

    When I say that I saw my sister give birth I'm not like "in the room and holding her hand" or some shit.

    I'm talking stretched vagina with a baby head getting pushed out the cooter type shit.
    pics plz?

    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Defender wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    This should be a crazy sister thread. I know a few of you guys have some crazy ones (Defender, Callius, etc).

    I am jealous, because my sister is a boring studious asian college girl who's only crazy is for white dudes.

    What the hell? Your sister is a boon to society! Don't be jealous of the ones who have shitty sisters.

    PS is your sister hot?

    Fuck you, asshole, I totally got dibs.

    tonksigblack.png
  • Tiger_ArmyGTRTiger_ArmyGTR Registered User
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    Casey went from 36DD to 36C; granted, she is 5'3" so that DD was killing her back. It's actually one of those things that was very necessary because she's fairly active.

    Callius: Shucks. No vomit points today.

    When I say that I saw my sister give birth I'm not like "in the room and holding her hand" or some shit.

    I'm talking stretched vagina with a baby head getting pushed out the cooter type shit.

    Pics or it didn't happen.

    Drunkenly pissing on a girl's work clothes is no path to a second date.
  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    Defender wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    This should be a crazy sister thread. I know a few of you guys have some crazy ones (Defender, Callius, etc).

    I am jealous, because my sister is a boring studious asian college girl who's only crazy is for white dudes.

    What the hell? Your sister is a boon to society! Don't be jealous of the ones who have shitty sisters.

    PS is your sister hot?

    Fuck you, asshole, I totally got dibs.

    This is just an idle curiosity, and you and I are both spoken for anyway. I don't think you can have dibs on idle curiosity. Did I miss a memo?

    hello massa, I jar jar binks
    I've overheard someone say "Don't say something is retarded, its not cool to make fun of retards. Just say its gay."
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    sark wrote:
    Butters wrote:
    So you are saying one can get those pictures if one were to provide scotch in return?
    I can neither confirm, nor deny, the existence of said pictures without a sampling of the wares. "A bump", if you will.

    And yeah, BEJ, I had to help her with the bandages about two weeks after the reduction. It looked like she had been broadsided by a Louisville slugger.
    what size was she/did she go to?

    I had a friend of a friend go in for a reduction and she still walked away with D-cups.

    Was it for aesthetic reasons or health/aesthetic reasons?
    i went to high school with a girl that had two reductions, and still had the biggest tits in the school. she wasn't fat either. she just had gigantic hooters.

    Yeah we had a girl like that in my school. They were fucking enormous.

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • JenniferJennifer Registered User
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    Casey went from 36DD to 36C; granted, she is 5'3" so that DD was killing her back. It's actually one of those things that was very necessary because she's fairly active.

    Callius: Shucks. No vomit points today.

    When I say that I saw my sister give birth I'm not like "in the room and holding her hand" or some shit.

    I'm talking stretched vagina with a baby head getting pushed out the cooter type shit.

    lol cooter

    Framling wrote: »
    I think he may have been some manner of hobo.
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Defender wrote:
    Callius wrote:
    Defender wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    This should be a crazy sister thread. I know a few of you guys have some crazy ones (Defender, Callius, etc).

    I am jealous, because my sister is a boring studious asian college girl who's only crazy is for white dudes.

    What the hell? Your sister is a boon to society! Don't be jealous of the ones who have shitty sisters.

    PS is your sister hot?

    Fuck you, asshole, I totally got dibs.

    This is just an idle curiosity, and you and I are both spoken for anyway. I don't think you can have dibs on idle curiosity. Did I miss a memo?

    Sad to say, but she is currently taken, so thats like double idle curiosity. Though she's just like any other skinny asian girl, so no biggie. When she's next available though, I will totally post clues on this board and set up a series of challenges that will ultimately lead to her phone number, just for you two. Kind of like Amazing Race, only there's an asian at the end.

    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    lostwords wrote:
    Sad to say, but she is currently taken, so thats like double idle curiosity. Though she's just like any other skinny asian girl, so no biggie. When she's next available though, I will totally post clues on this board and set up a series of challenges that will ultimately lead to her phone number, just for you two. Kind of like Amazing Race, only there's an asian at the end.
    are you saying she's into anal?

    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • WidepathWidepath Registered User
    edited January 2007
    I have heard that 75% of all women wear the wrong cup size .

  • Wise_aWise_a Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I love when thread titles get changed mid-topic, so that people say things about riding dirty and they are EVEN FUNNIER because I never saw the title, I just thought they were out of the blue.


  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    potatoe wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Sad to say, but she is currently taken, so thats like double idle curiosity. Though she's just like any other skinny asian girl, so no biggie. When she's next available though, I will totally post clues on this board and set up a series of challenges that will ultimately lead to her phone number, just for you two. Kind of like Amazing Race, only there's an asian at the end.
    are you saying she's into anal?

    That's the way I am taking it.

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • Wise_aWise_a Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Butters wrote:
    potatoe wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Sad to say, but she is currently taken, so thats like double idle curiosity. Though she's just like any other skinny asian girl, so no biggie. When she's next available though, I will totally post clues on this board and set up a series of challenges that will ultimately lead to her phone number, just for you two. Kind of like Amazing Race, only there's an asian at the end.
    are you saying she's into anal?

    That's the way I am taking it.

    I gotta say, I like where this is going...


  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Butters wrote:
    potatoe wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Sad to say, but she is currently taken, so thats like double idle curiosity. Though she's just like any other skinny asian girl, so no biggie. When she's next available though, I will totally post clues on this board and set up a series of challenges that will ultimately lead to her phone number, just for you two. Kind of like Amazing Race, only there's an asian at the end.
    are you saying she's into anal?

    That's the way I am taking it.
    wait...now are you saying you're into anal?

    I tried to write "but that" and my hands naturally wrote "butt hat", which is vastly superior in every way.
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Wise_a wrote:
    Butters wrote:
    potatoe wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Sad to say, but she is currently taken, so thats like double idle curiosity. Though she's just like any other skinny asian girl, so no biggie. When she's next available though, I will totally post clues on this board and set up a series of challenges that will ultimately lead to her phone number, just for you two. Kind of like Amazing Race, only there's an asian at the end.
    are you saying she's into anal?

    That's the way I am taking it.

    I gotta say, I like where this is going...

    ITT: double entendre

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User
    edited January 2007
    We should have a thread where everyone posts pictures of their mom

    25jyxzr.jpg
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited January 2007
    Okay, the story of the first time I was arrested.

    So I'd been out drinking and getting stoned with this chick I had been (unsuccessfully) trying to get with, and was driving to my friends' house to sleep for the night. At this point, I was basically living out of my car, but my friends and I had just self-published a childrens' book and we were going to go to the Seattle BookFest the next morning where we had bought a booth and were going to exhibit it.

    Anyway, it was late. Close to midnight. I was a bit buzzed, but not wasted by any means. I get to my friends' house and knock on the door, but it looked like they had already gone to bed so I figured "oh fuck it, I'll go sleep in my car at the park down the street". I'd been sleeping in the car off and on for over a month anyway, so it really was no big deal.

    So I get back in my car, drive down the street to the entrance of the park, and lo-and-behold there is a cop in the entrance. This is a very, very small town who never has more than two cops on duty at any one time, but the entrance to the park is right before the bridge to the Native American Reservation, so they like to camp out there and get the Indians as they are coming home from the bars. I see him before turning into the park so I jsut continue past, and he follows me. As soon as I get onto the bridge, he turns his lights on.

    Fuck.

    I slow down, turn on my blinker and pull over as soon as I'm off the narrow bridge. He sits in his car for a good long time and then strolls on up to my window. Standard procedure, "Do you know why I stopped you, license and registration, yadda yadda yadda." Then, "Have you had anything to drink tonight."

    "Yeah, I had a couple of beers a few hours ago, but that's it."

    I figured, why lie, I did have a couple of drinks, but I'm really not drunk. At all. I'm easily below the legal limit, so what's the big fucking deal?

    "Sir, I'll need you to step out of the car."

    Shit.

    I get out of the car and he asks me a few more questions, then makes me do all the stupid fucking sobriety tests. I pass most of them, except for the standing-on-one-leg thing, because I've always had shitty balance and my knee was all fucked up and had been for years due to an old injury. I tell him this as I'm doing the test, he writes some shit down, then asks me to blow into his little reader doohickey. I do, it comes up well below the legal limit (I think it was .01 or so), and then he says, "Sir, I'm going to ask you to place your hands behind your back. You have the right to remain silent..."

    Motherfucker.

    He slips the cuffs on me and starts searching my pockets. He finds a little tiny altoids tin with a bit of pot in it and continues reading me my rights.

    Motherfucker.

    Well, like I said, I was living out of my car at the time, so I had all of my papers and stuff in my back pocket. Pay stubs, things like that. All sorts of stuff, because I didn't have anywhere else to keep them.

    At this point we skip ahead. I was brought to the station, they filed the paperwork and then dropped me off at my friends' house, looking like a complete moron, because they felt sorry for me or something. Cocksuckers. I didn't have to spend the night in jail, but I still had to appear in court later for sentencing.

    So a few days later I'm in with my lawyer, who happens to be my brother's father-in-law. He's going over the police report with me and points something out.

    "What is this?"

    Right there on the police report is a little blurb about me "trafficking male pornography".

    Oh jesus, I had forgotten about that.

    Well, those papers in my back pocket? Well, in there was a copy of a photo from a few months ago. We were at this party with a bunch of family friends and my older brother got so drunk he passed out in his chair. My friends' dad thought it would be hilarious to hang a kielbasa out of his fly and stick it in my brother's mouth and take a picture. Har-dee-har-har. Well, I had that picture in my pocket when the cop searched me. He saw it and started freaking out.

    "Oh jesus christ..."

    "It's not what it looks like, it's just my brother and he..."

    "I don't want to hear about it!"

    "No! He was just drunk and he..."

    "I said I don't want to hear about it!"

    FUCK!

    Well, I explained it to my lawyer, who got a good laugh out of it. I wasn't charged with trafficking porn, which I don't think is even a crime, but there it was on the police report.

    Rankenphile. The Gay Porn King of Middle Of Nowhere, Washington.

  • Dr_KeenbeanDr_Keenbean Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Widepath wrote:
    I have heard that 75% of all women wear the wrong cup size .

    My girl sure used to. Until I got a hold of those puppies and told her wtf was up.

    I'm like a titty connoisseur.

    PSN: Dr_Keenbean LIVE: Dr Keenbean
    Dr_Keenbean42.png
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    hahaha, great story rank :^:

    So did that discourage you from the male porn genre, or are you still into it to this day?

    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited January 2007
    lostwords wrote:
    hahaha, great story rank :^:

    So did that discourage you from the male porn genre, or are you still into it to this day?

    I dabble.

    Here and there.

  • Whipstitch ZombieWhipstitch Zombie Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited January 2007
    So did that ruin your reputation in the children's book publishing industry

  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    "Male" pornography is, like, in a special category?

    Buns 'n' Ammo

    hello massa, I jar jar binks
    I've overheard someone say "Don't say something is retarded, its not cool to make fun of retards. Just say its gay."
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Good story, would read again.

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • KovakKovak did a lot of drugs married cher?Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    rank that story was just as good the second time

  • PataPata Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Defender wrote:
    "Male" pornography is, like, in a special category?

    Buns 'n' Ammo

    Well if one defines "Male Prono" as one without women then yes.

    Spoiler:
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited January 2007
    So did that ruin your reputation in the children's book publishing industry

    lol, we didn't even get a reputation. The book was a pretty spectacular failure. We did everything ourselves, including printing up thousands of books. And we did every single step of it wrong, pretty much. The book was rather poorly written (but spectacularly illustrated by my friend Nate), was printed full color, full bleed, hard-bound and oversized (the most expensive way possible), and was too tall to fit in most bookshelves so lots of stores never carried it. We never had a distributor for the first six months so most bookstores wouldn't carry it, and then when we finally did get a distributor, our cut of the sales was less than it cost us to print so we were selling them for a loss.

    So, yeah. Not too worried about that whole thing. Oh well, it was worth it for the experience.

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited January 2007
    rank that story was just as good the second time

    yeah. I had searched for the last time I had posted it, but it must have been a long fucking time ago because it didn't show up in any of my search results.

  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Defender wrote:
    "Male" pornography is, like, in a special category?

    Buns 'n' Ammo

    Well if one defines "Male Prono" as one without women then yes.

    Like, legally, though.

    hello massa, I jar jar binks
    I've overheard someone say "Don't say something is retarded, its not cool to make fun of retards. Just say its gay."
  • SlungsolowSlungsolow Registered User, ClubPA
    edited January 2007
    I'm sure in some states they make a distinction between the different types of pornography beyond "kiddie" and "fucking awesome".

    fuck your forums, fuck your administrator and fuck dynagrip for getting away with the long troll.
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Slungsolow wrote:
    I'm sure in some states they make a distinction between the different types of pornography beyond "kiddie" and "fucking awesome".

    you forgot the subgenre "ewww gross"

    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited January 2007
    lostwords wrote:
    Slungsolow wrote:
    I'm sure in some states they make a distinction between the different types of pornography beyond "kiddie" and "fucking awesome".

    you forgot the subgenre "ewww gross"

    and the vintage stuff

    aka "huge bush"

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