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ITT there is a lack of sister tits...
Posts
give me a bit to type it up
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You didn't gross me out, really.
I saw my sister give birth man, whatever.
No. Keep going. I'm almost done.
And, yeah, vaginas? No thanks
Yeah... well... you're a whore and you're on the internet.
Callius: Shucks. No vomit points today.
i have seen no nudes of him at all
When I say that I saw my sister give birth I'm not like "in the room and holding her hand" or some shit.
I'm talking stretched vagina with a baby head getting pushed out the cooter type shit.
What the hell? Your sister is a boon to society! Don't be jealous of the ones who have shitty sisters.
PS is your sister hot?
Fuck you, asshole, I totally got dibs.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This is just an idle curiosity, and you and I are both spoken for anyway. I don't think you can have dibs on idle curiosity. Did I miss a memo?
Yeah we had a girl like that in my school. They were fucking enormous.
League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
lol cooter
Sad to say, but she is currently taken, so thats like double idle curiosity. Though she's just like any other skinny asian girl, so no biggie. When she's next available though, I will totally post clues on this board and set up a series of challenges that will ultimately lead to her phone number, just for you two. Kind of like Amazing Race, only there's an asian at the end.
That's the way I am taking it.
League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
I gotta say, I like where this is going...
ITT: double entendre
League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
So I'd been out drinking and getting stoned with this chick I had been (unsuccessfully) trying to get with, and was driving to my friends' house to sleep for the night. At this point, I was basically living out of my car, but my friends and I had just self-published a childrens' book and we were going to go to the Seattle BookFest the next morning where we had bought a booth and were going to exhibit it.
Anyway, it was late. Close to midnight. I was a bit buzzed, but not wasted by any means. I get to my friends' house and knock on the door, but it looked like they had already gone to bed so I figured "oh fuck it, I'll go sleep in my car at the park down the street". I'd been sleeping in the car off and on for over a month anyway, so it really was no big deal.
So I get back in my car, drive down the street to the entrance of the park, and lo-and-behold there is a cop in the entrance. This is a very, very small town who never has more than two cops on duty at any one time, but the entrance to the park is right before the bridge to the Native American Reservation, so they like to camp out there and get the Indians as they are coming home from the bars. I see him before turning into the park so I jsut continue past, and he follows me. As soon as I get onto the bridge, he turns his lights on.
Fuck.
I slow down, turn on my blinker and pull over as soon as I'm off the narrow bridge. He sits in his car for a good long time and then strolls on up to my window. Standard procedure, "Do you know why I stopped you, license and registration, yadda yadda yadda." Then, "Have you had anything to drink tonight."
"Yeah, I had a couple of beers a few hours ago, but that's it."
I figured, why lie, I did have a couple of drinks, but I'm really not drunk. At all. I'm easily below the legal limit, so what's the big fucking deal?
"Sir, I'll need you to step out of the car."
Shit.
I get out of the car and he asks me a few more questions, then makes me do all the stupid fucking sobriety tests. I pass most of them, except for the standing-on-one-leg thing, because I've always had shitty balance and my knee was all fucked up and had been for years due to an old injury. I tell him this as I'm doing the test, he writes some shit down, then asks me to blow into his little reader doohickey. I do, it comes up well below the legal limit (I think it was .01 or so), and then he says, "Sir, I'm going to ask you to place your hands behind your back. You have the right to remain silent..."
Motherfucker.
He slips the cuffs on me and starts searching my pockets. He finds a little tiny altoids tin with a bit of pot in it and continues reading me my rights.
Motherfucker.
Well, like I said, I was living out of my car at the time, so I had all of my papers and stuff in my back pocket. Pay stubs, things like that. All sorts of stuff, because I didn't have anywhere else to keep them.
At this point we skip ahead. I was brought to the station, they filed the paperwork and then dropped me off at my friends' house, looking like a complete moron, because they felt sorry for me or something. Cocksuckers. I didn't have to spend the night in jail, but I still had to appear in court later for sentencing.
So a few days later I'm in with my lawyer, who happens to be my brother's father-in-law. He's going over the police report with me and points something out.
"What is this?"
Right there on the police report is a little blurb about me "trafficking male pornography".
Oh jesus, I had forgotten about that.
Well, those papers in my back pocket? Well, in there was a copy of a photo from a few months ago. We were at this party with a bunch of family friends and my older brother got so drunk he passed out in his chair. My friends' dad thought it would be hilarious to hang a kielbasa out of his fly and stick it in my brother's mouth and take a picture. Har-dee-har-har. Well, I had that picture in my pocket when the cop searched me. He saw it and started freaking out.
"Oh jesus christ..."
"It's not what it looks like, it's just my brother and he..."
"I don't want to hear about it!"
"No! He was just drunk and he..."
"I said I don't want to hear about it!"
FUCK!
Well, I explained it to my lawyer, who got a good laugh out of it. I wasn't charged with trafficking porn, which I don't think is even a crime, but there it was on the police report.
Rankenphile. The Gay Porn King of Middle Of Nowhere, Washington.
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My girl sure used to. Until I got a hold of those puppies and told her wtf was up.
I'm like a titty connoisseur.
So did that discourage you from the male porn genre, or are you still into it to this day?
I dabble.
Here and there.
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Buns 'n' Ammo
League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
Well if one defines "Male Prono" as one without women then yes.
lol, we didn't even get a reputation. The book was a pretty spectacular failure. We did everything ourselves, including printing up thousands of books. And we did every single step of it wrong, pretty much. The book was rather poorly written (but spectacularly illustrated by my friend Nate), was printed full color, full bleed, hard-bound and oversized (the most expensive way possible), and was too tall to fit in most bookshelves so lots of stores never carried it. We never had a distributor for the first six months so most bookstores wouldn't carry it, and then when we finally did get a distributor, our cut of the sales was less than it cost us to print so we were selling them for a loss.
So, yeah. Not too worried about that whole thing. Oh well, it was worth it for the experience.
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yeah. I had searched for the last time I had posted it, but it must have been a long fucking time ago because it didn't show up in any of my search results.
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Like, legally, though.
you forgot the subgenre "ewww gross"
and the vintage stuff
aka "huge bush"
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