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My couch is a goddamn Tesla coil

Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
edited December 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
My girlfriend and I got an excellent couch a while back. It is pretty huge, stylin', comfortable, and has a large sectional piece that is sort of triangular. It's great.

However, the microfiber of which it is made is apparently produces spectacular levels of static. Just now I went to the bathroom and went to flip the light on - and there was very audible CRACK and my finger was briefly numbed after a jolt of pain. Actually, it's still tingly.

This happens regularly. Using a blanket on the couch results in a terrifying chain of crackling, popping static bursts that directly contravene the desired comfort provided by blankets on the couch.

My girlfriend has tried a spray bottle of water, as suggested by a google search, with no success. We've tried the static guard spray, which smells horrible, seems threatening chemical, and had no real effect.

Does anyone have any solutions for this, hopefully before malevolent electrical imps make us into another mysterious case of spontaneous human combustion?

Evil Multifarious on
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