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The Age Old Question - Settle your disputes with the opinion of the majority TODAY!

FaynorFaynor Registered User regular
edited January 2011 in Singularity Engine++
Hello everybody!!! I come to you with... a question

Once upon a time, there were three brothers. Who were also Gods. Whatever. Their names were Poseidon, Zeus, and Hades. You know the drill. They killed their dumb father and then played rock paper scissors to figure out who got what in the aftermath. Zeus got the skies, Poseidon got the ocean, and Hades got the underworld.

Now, here's where you come in

Gary and his entire family are full of idiots, and they think Poseidon got the shit end of the deal. POSEIDON CONTROLS THE OCEAN. THERE IS A TON OF COOL SHIT THERE. Hades is in the fucking basement of the Earth. It's cold and gross and probably doesn't have that great of an internet connection.

Solve my dispute, forum. And put forth others to solve! END YOUR ARGUMENTS NOT LATER, BUT NOW.

Because the majority is always right???

Faynor on
do you wanna see me eat a hotdog
·
«1345

Posts

  • SwillSwill Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    what.png

    ·
  • unintentionalunintentional Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    hades controls the power of death itself how is that not equal or greater cool-value as controlling water

    i'm out, follow me on twitter @uninten , steam is GaryMyNemesis
    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    In ages past there was but one god of strife, death, and the dead, and he was known as Jergal, Lord of the End of Everything. Jergal fomented and fed on the discord among mortals and powers alike. When beings slew each other in their quest for power or in their hatred, he welcomed them into his shadowy kingdom of eternal gloom. As all things died, everything came to him eventually, and over time he built his power into a kingdom unchallenged by any other god. Eventually, however, he grew tired of his duties for he knew them too well.

    Without challenge there is nothing, and in nothingness there is only gloom. In such a state, the difference between absolute power and absolute powerlessness is undetectable. During this dark era, there arose three powerful mortals - Bane, Bhaal, and Myrkul - who lusted after the power Jergal wielded. The trio forged an unholy pact, agreeing that they would dare to seek such ultimate power or die in the attempt. Over the length and breadth of the Realms they strode, seeking powerful magic and spells and defying death at every turn. No matter what monster they confronted or what spells they braved, the three mortals emerged unscathed at every turn. Eventually the trio destroyed one of the Seven Lost Gods, and they each seized a portion of his divine essence for themselves. The trio then journeyed into the Gray Waste and sought out the Castle of Bone.

    Through armies of skeletons, legions of zombies, hordes or noncorporeal undead, and a gauntlet of liches they battled. Eventually they reached the object of their lifelong quest - the Bone Throne. "I claim this throne of evil," shouted Bane the tyrant. ''I'll destroy you before you can raise a finger," threatened Bhaal the assassin. ''And I shall imprison your essence for eternity," promised Myrkul the necromancer. Jergal arose from his throne with a weary expression and said, "The Throne is yours. I have grown weary of this empty power. Take it if you wish - I promise to serve and guide you as your seneschal until you grow comfortable with the position."

    Before the stunned trio could react, the Lord of the Dead continued, "who among you shall rule?" The trio immediately fell to fighting amongst themselves while Jergal looked on with indifference. When eventually it appeared that either they would all die of exhaustion or battle on for an eternity, the Lord of the End of Everything intervened. "After all you have sacrificed, would you come away with nothing? Why don't you divide the portfolios of the office and engage in a game of skill for them?" asked Jergal. Bane, Bhaal, and Myrkul considered the god's offer and agreed. Jergal took the heads of his three most powerful liches and gave them to the trio that they would compete by bowling the skulls. Each mortal rolled a skull across the Gray Waste, having agreed that the winner would be he who bowled the farthest.

    Malar the Beastlord arrived to visit Jergal at this moment. After quickly ascertaining that the winner of the contest would get all of Jergal's power, he chased off after the three skulls to make sure that the contest would be halted until he had a chance to participate for part of the prize. Bane, Bhaal, and Myrkul again fell to fighting, as it was obvious their sport was ruined, and again Jergal intervened. "Why don't you allow Lady Luck to decide so you don't have to share with the Beast?"

    The trio agreed, and Jergal broke off his skeletal finger bones and gave them to the players. When Malar returned form chasing the skulls, he found that the trio had just finished a game of knucklebones. Bane cried out triumphantly, "As winner, I choose to rule for all eternity as the ultimate tyrant. I can induce hatred and strife at my whim, and all will bow down before me while in my kingdom." Myrkul, who had won second place, declared, "But I choose the dead, and by doing so I truly win, because all you are lord over, Bane, will eventually be mine. All things must die - even gods."

    Bhaal, who finished third, demurred, "I choose death, and it is by my hand that all that you rule Lord Bane will eventually pass to Lord Myrkul. Both of you must pay honor to me and obey my wishes, since I can destroy your kingdom Bane, by murdering your subjects, and I can starve your kingdom, Myrkul by staying my hand." Malar growled in frustration, but could do nothing, and yet again only the beasts were left for him. And Jergal merely smiled, for he had been delivered.

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    ·
  • FaynorFaynor Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    dan I haven't read lord of the rings can you just answer my question...

    do you wanna see me eat a hotdog
    ·
  • SwillSwill Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    seriously though, poseiden is the best

    ·
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Poseidon's resume:

    powers over water

    can command fish

    ·
  • KoshianKoshian __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2011
  • HacksawHacksaw J Duggan Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Poseidon got the long end of the stick. See: the Odyssey. Fuck with him and your ass won't get home for 20 motherfucking years.

    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I love the Forgotten Realms' mythos so much you guys.

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    ·
  • HacksawHacksaw J Duggan Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Faynor wrote: »
    dan I haven't read lord of the rings can you just answer my question...
    I hope this is a fake post.

    ·
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    all gods had it rough

    having to constantly pay attention to humans and animals and their stupidity

    i can't deal with that shit for a day, let alone forever

    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Faynor wrote: »
    dan I haven't read lord of the rings can you just answer my question...
    I hope this is a fake post.

    it could be but also jack isn't that big a nerd

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
    services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane
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    ·
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    so what is the question

    I'm very confused by this

    ·
  • SassoriSassori Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I think Poseidon's old lady is pretty crazy though.

    Piss her off and she will pull a Lorena Bobbitt on you.

    ·
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    so what is the question

    I'm very confused by this

    did any of those three gods have a rough deal and if so, which one(s)

    ·
  • PharezonPharezon Struggle is an illusion. Victory is in the Qun.Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Faynor wrote: »
    dan I haven't read lord of the rings can you just answer my question...
    I hope this is a fake post.

    I hope this is is a fake post.

    jkZziGc.png
    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    fake posts all the way down

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    ·
  • unintentionalunintentional Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    so what is the question

    I'm very confused by this

    when zeus, poseidon, and hades divvied up god-domains, which one got owned the most?
    Zeus obviously won because he's like King of the Gods and stuff

    poseidon obviously got owned because who the fuck likes the ocean, it's basically a big garbage can at this point

    i'm out, follow me on twitter @uninten , steam is GaryMyNemesis
    ·
  • HacksawHacksaw J Duggan Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Faynor wrote: »
    dan I haven't read lord of the rings can you just answer my question...
    I hope this is a fake post.

    it could be but also jack isn't that big a nerd
    But he's a ginger. All gingers are nerds. Just look at Keith.

    ·
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    several fake posts later

    ·
  • crwthcrwth IDIOT NEWS Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    i dunno man

    hades was voiced by james woods

    ·
  • Virgil_Leads_YouVirgil_Leads_You Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Man I loved BG
    Good Post Smart Hero

    Steam Amazon Wishlist, what!? 3DS 4012 4146 9468
    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Faynor wrote: »
    dan I haven't read lord of the rings can you just answer my question...
    I hope this is a fake post.

    it could be but also jack isn't that big a nerd
    But he's a ginger. All gingers are nerds. Just look at Keith.

    do i have to

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
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    ·
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    so what is the question

    I'm very confused by this

    did any of those three gods have a rough deal and if so, which one(s)

    well Poseidon got a lot of inclement weather and Zeus just turned into a goose and raped a lot of really easy human women

    Hades got millions of damned souls to command as he pleases

    I don't see why this is a particularly difficult decision

    ·
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    I love the Forgotten Realms' mythos so much you guys.

    but R.A. Salvatore is a hack

    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Tossrock wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    I love the Forgotten Realms' mythos so much you guys.

    but R.A. Salvatore is a hack

    he didn't invent it

    there's plenty of other FR stories & mythos that he didn't write

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
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    ·
  • unintentionalunintentional Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    so what is the question

    I'm very confused by this

    did any of those three gods have a rough deal and if so, which one(s)

    well Poseidon got a lot of inclement weather and Zeus just turned into a goose and raped a lot of really easy human women

    Hades got millions of damned souls to command as he pleases

    I don't see why this is a particularly difficult decision

    see this is what I'm saying but FAYNOR thinks that hades got owned

    i'm out, follow me on twitter @uninten , steam is GaryMyNemesis
    ·
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    like i said

    all 3 of them had to deal with us and animals

    so they all had it pretty rough

    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    but really you guys the novels set during The Time Of Troubles were so awesome

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    ·
  • WeaverWeaver From here, I can see seven seasRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    I just cooked way too much oatmeal

    hCpR4ri.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
    ·
  • ProjeckProjeck Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    ladies

    m6eoUgQ.jpg
    ·
  • HacksawHacksaw J Duggan Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Faynor wrote: »
    dan I haven't read lord of the rings can you just answer my question...
    I hope this is a fake post.

    it could be but also jack isn't that big a nerd
    But he's a ginger. All gingers are nerds. Just look at Keith.

    do i have to
    Yes.

    ·
  • WeaverWeaver From here, I can see seven seasRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Hercules because he always has to deal with a punk know it all kid

    hCpR4ri.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
    ·
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Faynor wrote: »
    dan I haven't read lord of the rings can you just answer my question...
    I hope this is a fake post.

    it could be but also jack isn't that big a nerd
    But he's a ginger. All gingers are nerds. Just look at Keith.

    I would but the glare is blinding

    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    CD where did those images come from

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
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    ·
  • Cilla BlackCilla Black Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Smart Hero did you play the NWN2 expansion Mask of the Betrayer? It would be right up your alley.

    ·
  • ProjeckProjeck Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    ladies

    m6eoUgQ.jpg
    ·
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    CD where did those images come from

    a picture I found on the internet

    tumblr_lf06ojKuRa1qcvyfeo1_500.jpg

    ·
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Smart Hero did you play the NWN2 expansion Mask of the Betrayer? It would be right up your alley.

    No I haven't picked up NWN2 I shoulda during the holiday sale but I didn't

    oh well :(

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
    services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane
    Secret Satan Wishlists: Regular List Coffee Stuff
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    ·
  • B.C.B.C. Registered User regular
    edited January 2011
    Goddammit Projeck.

    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
    ·
«1345
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