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Sometimes Poetry

24

Posts

  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    I don't know how it's done in the class, but I can see how it might be a process-learning exercise over a product-developing one. Often times beginning poets are so fixated on strangling "meaning" from a poem that they take a lot of the fun out of it. Perhaps this exercise is meant to remove authorial meaning and practice analyzation, critical thinking, and pattern assessment.

    And then take those skills over to the workshop part of class once the students start creating their own poems.

  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    Except it's an intermediate poetry class... I mentioned the possibility you've stated but honestly, I'd think something like exquisite corpse would be better suited than completely random words.

    “Hic non defectus est, sed cattus minxit desuper nocte quadam. Confundatur pessimus cattus qui minxit super librum istum in nocte Daventrie, et consimiliter omnes alii propter illum. Et cavendum valde ne permittantur libri aperti per noctem ubi cattie venire possunt.”
    vis a tergo | Blog | Twitter | Blip.fm | Dropbox
  • VanguardVanguard for the Night is Dark and Full of Big Areolas Registered User regular
    You realize all of these techniques are throwbacks to Dada and Surrealism, Quoth, right? Both games (cut-ups and EC) are great tools to get outside of yourself and make you engage with language differently. Lilnoobs hit the nail on the head; by forcing you to analyze a poem that you didn't consciously organize, it highlights the process of meaning making.

    The randomness is the point of doing a cut-up. That it doesn't always work out is part of the whole chance operation thing. However, after using this methods hundreds of times I can say it always surprises you. Having done both of these, I can say that Exquisite Corpses produce completely different results and neither is better or more appropriate for any given situation.

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  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    My defense of the teaching is just a natural reaction since I teach =p In all fairness, maybe the class is at an dead-end. That said, Wank you're invited to take my poetry class =)

  • WankWank Registered User regular
    It's just disappointing because my poetry professor last year was really great. Feels like a step backward. I don't know what this says about my narrow-mindedness or whatever, but I really do not appreciate poetry unless I can see that some measure of talent or effort went into it. I feel like any poetry, no matter how obscure, should be written with some kind of intent and should be explainable by the writer.

    @Lilnoobs: Where do you teach?

  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    Yeah, I'm going to stop harping on this except to reiterate that as a tool for jump-starting a poem, I find it reasonable, but in the manner described I continue to find it asinine. My tolerance for such things is pretty low, I confess, and I've done some experimental stuff in my time. There's just always been, you know, some kind of craft involved that doesn't rely exclusively on chance. Reader interpretation is always paramount, but I'm also trying to communicate something or I might as well just let a computer program write for me.

    Quoth on
    “Hic non defectus est, sed cattus minxit desuper nocte quadam. Confundatur pessimus cattus qui minxit super librum istum in nocte Daventrie, et consimiliter omnes alii propter illum. Et cavendum valde ne permittantur libri aperti per noctem ubi cattie venire possunt.”
    vis a tergo | Blog | Twitter | Blip.fm | Dropbox
  • VanguardVanguard for the Night is Dark and Full of Big Areolas Registered User regular
    Wank wrote:
    It's just disappointing because my poetry professor last year was really great. Feels like a step backward. I don't know what this says about my narrow-mindedness or whatever, but I really do not appreciate poetry unless I can see that some measure of talent or effort went into it. I feel like any poetry, no matter how obscure, should be written with some kind of intent and should be explainable by the writer.

    Fair enough, but this argument is really easy to debunk and pretty annoying to deal with. I'm not saying you have to like it, or enjoy this method of writing, but it has produced work that is exciting and many poets writing today are coming from the legacy of Dada and Surrealism
    Quoth wrote:
    Yeah, I'm going to stop harping on this except to reiterate that as a tool for jump-starting a poem, I find it reasonable, but in the manner described I continue to find it asinine. My tolerance for such things is pretty low, I confess, and I've done some experimental stuff in my time. There's just always been, you know, some kind of craft involved that doesn't rely exclusively on chance. Reader interpretation is always paramount, but I'm also trying to communicate something or I might as well just let a computer program write for me.

    Craft isn't a fixed concept. What you call craft is only part of a much larger toolbox available to you. I also love the idea of a computer writing books of poems, but I can tell I'm very much in the minority here.

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  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    @wank Committee college in Sugar Grove, IL

    I don't suppose you know what I'm talking about though =p

    Lilnoobs on
  • EncEnc FloridaRegistered User regular
    @Vanguard
    I guess the ultimate question comes down to the purpose of poetry. Is it a means to convey some message, emotion, image, or theme? Or is it just a random collection of symbols for us to try to find meaning in.

    As an exercise, the second is fine. But for the most part, poetry that is generally lasting and largely considered more moving is the former. The same is true with any art at all. I can paint a square of color on a canvas of another color and call it art. But unless the viewer finds some emotion, message, image, or theme that resonates with them, all I've done is put a square of color on a canvas. Generally, things like this are not received well by anyone outside of the closed group that creates these kinds of works and has a specific, and somewhat artificial, set of tools to find meanings. I say artificial not to say that all meaning isn't artificial (it is), but because the types of meanings you need here are specifically designed solely for the purpose of finding meanings in this specific design. Or: they are tools built for the exercise, not those available to the passing viewer without imposing instruction upon them.

    As artists, poets should do both, and push their boundaries all the time. But to rely upon randomness and found poetry as methods in and of themselves, rather than tools to get you to inspiration, leads to the sort of perception that (as Quoth said) are the reasons we have so much dislike and distrust of the artistic community. You are building things that are inaccessible to anyone outside of your closed environment and ultimately become exclusionary and stagnant due to the lack of new perceptions.

    "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
    — Robert Heinlein
  • VanguardVanguard for the Night is Dark and Full of Big Areolas Registered User regular
    I have too many issues to respond to your post without completely derailing this topic. If you're interested, I can send my response via PM.

    Vanguard on
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  • WankWank Registered User regular
    Vanguard wrote:
    Wank wrote:
    It's just disappointing because my poetry professor last year was really great. Feels like a step backward. I don't know what this says about my narrow-mindedness or whatever, but I really do not appreciate poetry unless I can see that some measure of talent or effort went into it. I feel like any poetry, no matter how obscure, should be written with some kind of intent and should be explainable by the writer.

    Fair enough, but this argument is really easy to debunk and pretty annoying to deal with. I'm not saying you have to like it, or enjoy this method of writing, but it has produced work that is exciting and many poets writing today are coming from the legacy of Dada and Surrealism
    It's not an argument. It's an opinion. "I really do not appreciate" "I feel like" etc. I know better than to argue about poetry. :P

    That said, I'm surprised by how many poetry aficionados are coming out of the woodwork. Would any of you be interested in posting a piece or two in here?

  • EncEnc FloridaRegistered User regular
    Vanguard wrote:
    I have too many issues to respond to your post without completely derailing this topic. If you're interested, I can send my response via PM.

    Sure thing. My position is pretty polarizing, but I'm open to discussion.

    "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
    — Robert Heinlein
  • VanguardVanguard for the Night is Dark and Full of Big Areolas Registered User regular
    Fair enough.

    I'd be willing to link to work I've had published that is available online.

    I'm giving away a free copy of The Burning Wheel rulebook for free RPG Day 2013! Click here for details.
  • WankWank Registered User regular
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    I'm trying to edit my own poetry for this dang book, but I feel like I should make my own thread instead of stealing yours. Or keep begging for feedback on Twitter, you know, whatever.

    “Hic non defectus est, sed cattus minxit desuper nocte quadam. Confundatur pessimus cattus qui minxit super librum istum in nocte Daventrie, et consimiliter omnes alii propter illum. Et cavendum valde ne permittantur libri aperti per noctem ubi cattie venire possunt.”
    vis a tergo | Blog | Twitter | Blip.fm | Dropbox
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    Richard Hugo argues in Triggering Town a poem's purpose isn't for communication. He says if you wanted to communicate with someone then pick up the damn phone.
    http://www.amazon.com/Triggering-Town-Lectures-Essays-Writing/dp/039333872X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318535345&sr=8-1

    Kim Addinizio in Ordinary Genius says nearly the opposite: poetry is communication and things that don't communicate are therapy.
    http://www.amazon.com/Ordinary-Genius-Guide-Poet-Within/dp/0393334163/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1318535513&sr=1-1


    Rainer Maria Rilke in Letters to a Young Poet implores the reader to write for one's own sake.
    http://www.amazon.com/Letters-Young-Rainer-Maria-Rilke/dp/0393310396/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1318535577&sr=1-1-spell

    All are a good read.


    edit: the code is so messed up on this website I'm not going to bother to make this look pretty.

    Lilnoobs on
  • tapeslingertapeslinger utter Yog-Sothothery mmm, soulsRegistered User regular
    The only poetry I have written in months is zombie poetry

    But I could post some if you want :p

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  • EncEnc FloridaRegistered User regular
    My take on the argument spoilered.
    Spoiler:

    Enc on
    "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
    — Robert Heinlein
  • VanguardVanguard for the Night is Dark and Full of Big Areolas Registered User regular
    Enc, what do you make of John Ashbery? Or Ray Armantrout?

    Those are two poets whom trouble your argument a little bit and do enjoy about as much exposure as anyone outside of Billy Collins gets.

    Really though, that's not a very strong argument. Popularity has nothing to do with the strength of a poem. What you're talking about is marketability.

    That you claim you need to have a degree to make it through some of the more abstract poetry is not true. I was functionally illiterate in high school. I got to the point where I am today long before I graduated college, and the reason I can behind some of this stuff is because I read and I read widely.

    I'll give you this. People don't like being challenged. Any time art threatens what people are comfortable with, they go on the attack. It's the reason the abstract expressionists were scoffed at. It's the reason Tristan Tzara caused a riot back in Zurich when he read random words that he drew from a hat.

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  • EncEnc FloridaRegistered User regular
    Marketability and accessibility are exactly what I'm talking about. Two sides of the same coin, just depending on if you are the reader or the author. If you write in a way that no one can understand, you won't gain readership and won't convey your message. If you are not writing for readership, why are you writing then? For yourself? Because you can? These are fine, but they are exercises in doing things, not creating something for others to interact with.

    On the other side, if you are writing for readership but not with a message, you are making a puzzle. Challenging people. People like being challenged with something they can, with the tools they have, overcome. Hopefully preparing them for something greater to overcome after. When you write a cliff and tell someone who has never walked, much less rock climbed, to have at it you aren't going to gain readership or have anyone hold the act as meaningful. Even if they can climb it, if it has no meaning or message to covey, it's not a poem, but a word puzzle. You are performing a type of cryptology with a specific tool set.

    Unless you consider a crossword puzzle as the same as poetry, and then we are getting to the stage where you can call everything poetry and why have any meanings at all (because then poetry becomes the same as "reality" and all things lose applicable signification)?

    I guess what I'm saying is there is a difference between abstraction and obfuscating, and a difference between a puzzle and a poem. That difference is desiring to convey something to someone else.

    "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
    — Robert Heinlein
  • VanguardVanguard for the Night is Dark and Full of Big Areolas Registered User regular
    That's not true though. There are things that can't be reduced to a message or or a slogan or whatever. Art, any branch, can make us experience those things. That they're not immediately accessible doesn't make them the literary equivalent of a puzzle.

    You completely dodged my mention of two poets who perplex many readers, but still draw accolades, BTW.

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  • WankWank Registered User regular
    I'd like to steer this thread back on track...debating the nature of poetry is pretty Sisyphean.

    @Quoth: Go ahead and post them! In the OP I mentioned that other people can make use of the thread.

    @tapeslinger: Zombie poetry, huh? Do it up.

  • EncEnc FloridaRegistered User regular
    Spoiler:

    Spoilered because I had already written it. I'll post some of my terrible stuff to stay on topic:
    Spoiler:

    I cringe to see people read this.

    Enc on
    "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
    — Robert Heinlein
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    I'm trying to edit this one now, any thoughts?
    Spoiler:

    It's pretty long and I think may read too much like a laundry list of things, which I'm not sure works as intended. But I don't know where to cut and where to add. Help? :(

    “Hic non defectus est, sed cattus minxit desuper nocte quadam. Confundatur pessimus cattus qui minxit super librum istum in nocte Daventrie, et consimiliter omnes alii propter illum. Et cavendum valde ne permittantur libri aperti per noctem ubi cattie venire possunt.”
    vis a tergo | Blog | Twitter | Blip.fm | Dropbox
  • WankWank Registered User regular
    @Quoth: I liked it! If I were to cut a stanza, though, it would definitely be the culinary one. It didn't mesh for me. I know it's lunch hour, but that stanza almost seems like an aside.

    As for smaller cuts, I would consider losing "new world foot-binding." It's clever, but it seems almost self-referential to me. I think you can give us the image of tight strides and bound feet without elaborating on it. In the same way, I'd maybe drop "Stairs encircle the shaft, unused."

    Still much better than anything I churn out. :)

  • WankWank Registered User regular
    Oh, and this is my latest poem:

    As the amniotic sack unravels among stars
    Cold gravity catches you
    Slaps your feet and
    Makes you king of a lonely universe

    Pulleys draw you up to the Milky Way’s rafters
    Over chaos stages, ready to fall
    Like a cleansing meteor on Sodom or
    As a fluttering dove on pediatric wards

    The signet ring fillets your finger
    Your blood ends up
    Stamped on infinite pages

    You roll covalent bonds on
    Flimsy tobacco paper

    You stagger along the treadmill
    That spins our dirty Earth

    All the while entropy hisses in your ear
    Suns are failing, orbits fraying
    A boy of six is sinning in Luxembourg
    But you have time—all of time
    We can do this forever

  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    Thanks, Wank. That was the stanza I was most struggling with, but I kept leaving it because of the theme. I liked it as a segue between the physical labor and the posh surroundings, as an exploration of luxury, but I couldn't think of how to really tie it in aside from the lunch aspect. I was maybe going to add something about homeless people not daring to rifle through their garbage for the scraps, but eh.

    “Hic non defectus est, sed cattus minxit desuper nocte quadam. Confundatur pessimus cattus qui minxit super librum istum in nocte Daventrie, et consimiliter omnes alii propter illum. Et cavendum valde ne permittantur libri aperti per noctem ubi cattie venire possunt.”
    vis a tergo | Blog | Twitter | Blip.fm | Dropbox
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    I like the last image Quoth, but I feel the last stanza overall gets too high and mighty for the poem.

  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    Dang, and I thought the rest of the poem needed some, uh, high and mightying. It's the bits about history, I assume, that take it to unnecessary places?

    “Hic non defectus est, sed cattus minxit desuper nocte quadam. Confundatur pessimus cattus qui minxit super librum istum in nocte Daventrie, et consimiliter omnes alii propter illum. Et cavendum valde ne permittantur libri aperti per noctem ubi cattie venire possunt.”
    vis a tergo | Blog | Twitter | Blip.fm | Dropbox
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    I think the worker drone part bothers me more than the European part.
    The worker drones swarm,
    gatherers, hunters who stalk a quick bite
    before the sun taps its watch.

    The Sun tapping its watch is interesting, but the worker drones and all that has been done and is pretty unnecessary with what you already nicely described prior to it.

    I'm ambivalent about the historical reference. I'll give it another read tonight when I got more time, but from what I remember it seemed to come out of nowhere. Are there other historical references glittered within the piece? I didn't feel a natural build up to that conclusion. Did anyone else?

    If I didn't absolutely love the last image I would say cut the last stanza and end it on the staircase. However, I'm afraid that is a bit too drastic.

    Lilnoobs on
  • WankWank Registered User regular
    Why do I bruise easily
    Sweat so much
    Bruise so easily
    Sleep so much
    Hate myself
    Love you
    Feel dizzy
    Crave salt

    Why am I so tired
    Always tired
    Always hungry
    Not losing weight
    Single
    Still single
    So ugly
    So angry
    So dizzy

    Why is my eye twitching
    My period late
    My hair falling out
    Why is my tongue white

    Why can’t I lose weight
    Get pregnant
    Sleep at night
    Why can’t dogs eat chocolate
    Why can’t I get a job
    Get wet
    Find a job
    Why can’t we be friends

    Why don’t we just dance
    Why don’t we do it in the road
    Why don’t people like me
    Why don’t you love me

    Why should I buy an iPad
    Why should I go to college
    Why should I believe in God

  • WankWank Registered User regular
    Oh hi poetry thread
    Yes, the Grim Reaper asked the Devil to tell Father Time

    To let you know you are a sputtering carbon sack

    A dirty fleshy thing

    And you will be over soon

    Very soon



    So do not worry about the cramps

    In your vein-webbed hands

    Or the modulated click-clack

    Of your ankles on the morning stair



    Soon you will be ash, and maybe

    You will inhabit some small pocket of memory

    Deep under the syntactic sea

    But pressures are feral down there and

    You will not last

  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    Wank wrote:
    Oh hi poetry thread
    Yes, the Grim Reaper asked the Devil to tell Father Time

    To let you know you are a sputtering carbon sack

    A dirty fleshy thing

    And you will be over soon

    Very soon



    So do not worry about the cramps

    In your vein-webbed hands

    Or the modulated click-clack

    Of your ankles on the morning stair



    Soon you will be ash, and maybe

    You will inhabit some small pocket of memory

    Deep under the syntactic sea

    But pressures are feral down there and

    You will not last


    Cool. Maybe try extending some of the metaphors.

    Like, for the first stanza, instead of being "over" think of a way you can transport that feeling by extending what someone might do with a sack or dirty fleshy thing (I don't know how I feel about dirty fleshy thing). What do people do with a sputtering sack or a dirty fleshy thing once they are through?

    I understand the last stanza with ash, but maybe since ash is so expected and used you could play around with other ideas? So you have this idea of the sea and pressure and pockets in the last stanza. What lives in those things? What of those things what we might become?

    Lilnoobs on
  • WankWank Registered User regular
    What do you think of this?
    Yes, the Grim Reaper asked the Devil to tell Father Time

    To let you know you are a sputtering carbon sack

    A dirty fleshy weight

    And you will be cast over soon

    Very soon



    So do not worry about the cramps

    In your vein-webbed hands

    Or the modulated click-clack

    Of your ankles on the slimy deck



    Soon you will be jetsam, and maybe for a while

    You will inhabit some small pocket of memory

    Deep under the syntactic sea

    But pressures are feral down there and you

    Will not last

    Wank on
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    I think a title could seal the deal. Also I love the word "jetsam" more than is reasonable. I don't know if it works there but by golly, that is a fun word.

    “Hic non defectus est, sed cattus minxit desuper nocte quadam. Confundatur pessimus cattus qui minxit super librum istum in nocte Daventrie, et consimiliter omnes alii propter illum. Et cavendum valde ne permittantur libri aperti per noctem ubi cattie venire possunt.”
    vis a tergo | Blog | Twitter | Blip.fm | Dropbox
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    Wank wrote:
    What do you think of this?
    Yes, the Grim Reaper asked the Devil to tell Father Time

    To let you know you are a sputtering carbon sack

    A dirty fleshy weight

    And you will be cast over soon

    Very soon



    So do not worry about the cramps

    In your vein-webbed hands

    Or the modulated click-clack

    Of your ankles on the slimy deck



    Soon you will be jetsam, and maybe for a while

    You will inhabit some small pocket of memory

    Deep under the syntactic sea

    But pressures are feral down there and you

    Will not last


    So I'm now picturing something a little Davy Jones-ish. We are all sailors on a ship.

    Is this poem in the voice of Father Time?

    Maybe instead of "soon" (3 times in the poem) again you can be more direct, considering the voice of the speaker. I imagine the Devil, the Grim Reaper, or Father Time to be very sure of themselves one way or another. These characters are flat, but I suppose giving them complications might make it interesting, which is pretty much what interesting movies, plays, or poems about them has done (e.g. Paradise Lost). I'm starting to digress a bit.
    Soon you will be jetsam
    You are jetsam, and maybe
    some pocket of memory, deep
    under the syntactic sea, will be yours
    for a while, but pressures are feral down there
    and you will not last

    Lilnoobs on
  • WankWank Registered User regular
    Thanks for the looks, guys. I am notoriously bad at making titles. Here is today's offering:
    Step out of the plane into a wall of solid heat
    A blast from a smelter’s furnace that will scoop the chub from your cheeks
    Like a back-alley plastic surgeon
    And make you a thing of childish wires
    It will bake your winter-bleached skin into leather brown
    But not yet

    Thick rubbery flip-flops that MK’s don’t wear
    So neither will you
    Hair in a sweaty mop that will be buzzed off
    Welcome to the most beautiful cult

    Scalding sand threaded with goatheads that stick in your feet
    Until the callus sets in
    Smells of burnt pigeon and sweat, always sweat
    Flies flicking around broad dark faces remind you
    That you will always be the nassaru

    Forbidden orchards full of snakes, hiding
    A crumbling stone stable from the French occupation
    Transplanted acacia in thick-smelling cascades
    Dust storms that fill the sky with dark rusty clouds
    Send you scurrying into a cockroach-owned bathroom
    Wash out your eyes with water while the cheap florescents
    Sputter on, sputter off

    The pool fills on Sundays, a beach on baked blue tiles
    Greasy samousas splattered in ketchup
    Coke in warped glass
    Adults throwing dice and playing cards in the straw-hut shade
    Leaving us free in the cool water with chewed styrofoam
    Water scorpions
    Goggles with twisted straps

    The pool is an icebox at night, a cold glossy black
    That turns us solemn under the surface
    We glide and scrape our bellies on the bottom
    Pretending to be aquatic monsters
    Wavery orange lights lick our faces when we come up
    The adults are gone

    We’re small interlopers on the work of God
    Cheerful in our parents’ gravity well
    We listen to acoustic guitar and praise the Lord
    We play Lions and Hyenas in fierce giddy riots outside the church
    Dashing over chipped concrete and up rusty stairs

    Everything there smelled old, I know that now
    But I didn’t know then what age smelled like

  • WankWank Registered User regular
    What's this? A sestina?
    What happened was out of my hands.
    Know that before you snarl and spit,
    Peering through smoked glass
    On blackened bone,
    The scattered signature of flame.
    I never intended him to burn.

    The sun had rubbed itself red like a burn
    And fallen through the skyline's clumsy hands.
    In darkness the streetlamps sputtered their weak flame.
    Passers-by’s chins were capped in frozen spit.
    Yes, the streets were cold and old as bone.
    The building showed an abandoned floor through its glass.

    The concrete was bare; the only light spilled from fragile florescent glass.
    Dropsheets and supplies spoke of remodeling money to burn,
    And in the center: the piano, its smile obsidian and bone.
    I approached it as a hunter, petrol can in my hands.
    The missive from this morning was stamped and sealed by spit.
    The missive from this morning said it would cradle a good flame.

    The pianist's arrival had the jolt of an old flame
    In an unexpected restaurant, making you spill champagne from your glass.
    I wanted to explain to him, but could not spit
    It out. He seated himself and my face began to burn.
    From cufflinked sleeves like pale spiders came his hands
    And the first six chords replaced the marrow in my bone.

    "For a while," I said, to this man of flesh, ambrosia and bone
    "You may play for a while." While I prepared the flame
    Whispering out from the Zippo, cupped bright in my hands,
    The pianist soared and swooped with heart to shatter glass,
    With furious contortions that must have made his fingers burn,
    With fever gouged into his brow and trickling from his lips as spit.

    But my position is official and the piano was a spit.
    He skewered himself against it, untempted by each bone
    I tried to throw. And so I parted the strings and began the controlled burn.
    He played faster and more furiously against the flame,
    Even as the pedals glowed the color of blown glass
    And the flames licked and sniffed after his dancing hands.

    "You don't have to finish it," I implored through bone-white hands
    Webbed across my guilty mouth now dry of spit, unheard through mime’s glass.
    But he played on and on and succumbed to his flame, and so he did burn.

    Wank on
  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    Sestinas can go rot in hell.

  • WankWank Registered User regular
    Lilnoobs wrote:
    Sestinas can go rot in hell.

    :(

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