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[The Sheryl Crow Role-Playing Game IC/OOC] Hard to make a stand

13

Posts

  • HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    IF WE REALLY WANT TO MAKE ASSES OF OURSELVES AND PUT ON A SHOW TO REMEMBER I BETCHA I COULD DO VOCALS AND ALSO WRESTLE THAT POLAR BEAR DURING A KEYTAUR SOLO

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  • KayKay Registered User regular
    "The problem here is that guy with the long brown hair and the sorta timid look to him makes me want to give him some cocoa and tell him everything'll be okay." Kim then nods towards Mikael. "I don't think I could destroy Toki Wartooth of Metalocalypse fame and not want to kill myself afterwards."

  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    "Dude, he's from Opeth. Opeth is just Rush for people who want to like metal. It's closet prog rock."

  • KayKay Registered User regular
    Kim bristles in response. "Are you dissing one of Canada's finest exports? I mean, Rush are right up there with Alanis Morisette, Bryan Adams and, uh, are way better than Celine Dion. Anyhow, prog's pretty cool. Technically, it's some of the most interesting out there."

  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    Bmb pats Kim's shoulder. "Don't worry, no one can tell you're Canadian. Lots of Canadians live full, meaningful lives! I mean like without caretakers and everything!"

  • HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    I GREW UP ON METAL THE DUDE HAS SKILLS AND RESPECTS OTHER GUYS WHO DO. WHY HE'S SLUMMING WITH FUCKING REZNOR I HAVE NO IDEA.

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  • KayKay Registered User regular
    Kim's drumsticks come out, and are jabbed at Bmb's gut, and not lightly, either. "Don't you patronise me," she retorts, before folding her arms to glare at her opposite, bird-throwing number. "I got respect for Trent. Guy developed a lot over the years, kept his stuff fresh and different. Anyhow."

    The red-head reaches out to grab the flier, and turns her back on Reznor, Mikael, Trasha and Ke$ha. "We gonna get this $10, enter the battle, and totally own our way to opening for Sheryl?" She chews her gum some more, and blows a bubble whle tapping her foot to illustrate her impatience.

  • HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    MAN I HAVEN'T DONE A GIG FOR TEN BUCKS SINCE THE EARLY 80'S. KINDA FUNNY. AND OPENING FOR SHERYL CROWE IS A LOT BETTER THAN CLOSING FOR HER. WE DID THAT ONCE AT A MUSIC FESTIVAL AND EMPTIED THE PLACE HALFWAY INTO THE SET.

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  • ShinyoShinyo Registered User regular
    I whole heartedly endorse/adore this thread and everything it stands for.

  • RingoRingo Registered User regular
    Stowing the keytar away, and dialing down the effects, Gaga regards her supposed counterpart coldly from under then brim of her fedora.

    "Ke$ha? I'm insulted, Trent. I would've prefered to triumph over someone with actual talent. Or at least sex appeal. Can she even talk, or does she need to lipsynch that too?"

    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
    AUGMENTOS - Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • simonwolfsimonwolf Registered User regular
    Reznor cackles and shakes his head, tutting his finger at the bear-straddling Gaga.

    "Don't you see," he says, "My band has been specifically designed to counter any advantages you could bring to the table. My mastery of the industrial will easily out-perform any shouting that Rollins can throw out. Ke$ha's out-performed you, Gaga, by having the biggest selling song of the past year. Michael here will bring some accessibility to the melodic death metal elements we'll blend into our performance. And Trisha..."

    His eyes gleam for a second, his wicked grin increases even further in width.

    "... is a girl drummer."

    The group pose together as the fog machine spurts out another burst, billowing around them and accentuating their smug sense of superiority.

    "I bet you don't even have a name for your band yet," he continues as the group unposes, "Perhaps another passe video game reference, Pine?"

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  • KayKay Registered User regular
    Kim wracks her brain for a moment, concentrates real, real hard, and then grins nastily as a lightbulb literally pops into being and glows with a bright, triumphant light.

    "Yeah, we've got a name for our band," Kim says, her grin growing ever wider. It's almost creeping off the sides of her face now. "But we'll talk about that in a moment. You've got one girl drummer, huh? Well, we've got one, too." Here, she brandishes her drumsticks. "And we got a guy drummer, also. We've got a MATCHING PAIR, REZNORBITCH!"

    She takes a stick in each hand, and holds them tightly, her knuckles whitening at the intensity of her iron grip.

    "We..."

    The red-head shows her teeth in a rictus grin.

    "Are..."

    Beads of sweat show up on her forehead.

    "THE CROW RIDERS!"

    As she screams, Kim raises both hands and her face to the skies.

    "And we're here to make you SCREAM and think about SHERYL and stuff!"

    "ONE!"

    Drumstick crash.

    "TWO!"

    White-knuckle grip.

    "THREE!"

    A WALL of SOUND!

    "FOUR!"

    Kim then says, as an aside to Henry. "You know, like that song in The Crow soundtrack that you didn't write and stuff. But made relevant."

  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    "... oh. Yeah, like the album cover could have like, viking zombies right? And they're riding on crows and like, throwing goats. Like, they're like, 'Hail Odin!' you know?"

  • HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    THAT'S PRETTY STANDARD METAL TYPE SHIT BUT A LITTLE MUCH.

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  • RingoRingo Registered User regular
    "Do people even buy albums anymore? All my stuff sells on itunes. Same with mute girl, and Reznor."

    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
    AUGMENTOS - Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    Bmb crosses his arms across his chest with a smug smile. "Oh, I wouldn't know about all that. My material is too underground."

    After nodding with satisfaction at himself, he pauses.

    "Wait, where are we going to get $10? I have ... a dollar and two dimes right now."

  • RingoRingo Registered User regular
    "We could beat it out of these chumps. Unless..."

    Gaga sizes up said chumps, "You spent all your money renting that fog machine, didn't you Reznor?"

    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
    AUGMENTOS - Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • simonwolfsimonwolf Registered User regular
    "Wrong again, little metal dude," announces Reznor, before Gaga has a chance to speak, "I called in some favours with Arcade Fire and ensured that all your money would be replaced with Canada dollars! Worthless, worthless Canada dollars!"

    Before anyone can say that's impossible, the metal dude pulls out his money and is shocked to discover a gold coin and two smaller ones, with some old lady in a tiara's head on the back of each.

    Reznor and the rest of the crew start laughing madly, but when Gaga questions their own financial situation, they go white.

    "W-well," stammers Reznor, "Fog machines are expensive to hire, you see, and not to mentioEVERYONE BAIL!"

    On command, the group runs out the door, Trasha flipping everyone a double bird before picking up the machine and chasing after her band into the open air outside the auditorium.

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  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    Black metal boy looks frustrated at the financial realization, and then smirks at Lady Gaga. "Where's your ninety-nine cents for iTunes now?"

  • RingoRingo Registered User regular
    Gaga dismounts the bear. "It's true," she says with a sigh. "All of my money is tied up in various charities, rockstar parties, and fish deliveries for Fame. And I can't borrow anymore money from my parents."

    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
    AUGMENTOS - Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    "Okay, but let's put our heads together. There must be a solution. 'It's just a question of eliminating obstacles,' like Sheryl said."

  • KayKay Registered User regular
    "All my dollars were Canadian anyhow," Kim admits, panting at the effort of her opening yell.

    She looks at her drumsticks, then tucks them back in her skirt. "I really don't want to play drums y'know."

  • RingoRingo Registered User regular
    Gaga looks expectantly at Rollins. "Let me guess, you spent all your money on tatts and beer?"

    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
    AUGMENTOS - Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    I DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL. AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, BEING A PUNK ROCK LEGEND DOESN'T PAY AS MUCH AS YOU'D THINK

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  • RingoRingo Registered User regular
    "So we're broke then." Gaga pouts for a moment.

    "Surely we could find a way to earn the cash together? Otherwise this isn't much of a band."

    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
    AUGMENTOS - Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • KayKay Registered User regular
    "Kill two birds with one stone," Kim suggests, "And go busking. We should probably get better first, though. Otherwise people will be paying us to shut up."

  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    "Where can we go practice? That, uh, doesn't require money?"

  • KayKay Registered User regular
    Kim looks from face to face. "There are four of us."

    She thinks on this for a moment. "That's enough to do the dance, but I don't think we want to. I say we either set up here, and stick around until we're told to move, or go take over some space at the..." She bites on her lip. "At the... Whuuuuu. Uh. Whuuuuuu. Why. Emmmmm."

    The effort on her face is obvious, and sweat starts to break out on her brow. "Cee Ay. Or we just take a subspace route back to my apartment and practice in the living room with a captive audience. An american taught me how."

  • HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    I CAN DO PUSHUPS SO HARD IT BREAKS THE LAWS OF PHYSICS
    Spoiler:

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  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    Spoiler:

    Henry drops and gives the band 20 with such force that it actually opens a tear in spacetime.

    "Okay Kim, you're sure you can get us there? Don't accidentally take us to Antarctica!"

  • KayKay Registered User regular
    "I don't trust that rift," Kim says. "Let him find his own way there. I'm going this way."

    Kim shoulders her guitar and backpack, and produces a doorknob from the pocket of her track top. She then opens a door in midair, and gestures into the doorway.

  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    Bmb glances between Henry's push-up portal and Kim's bedknobs and broomsticks portal, flips a coin, and follows Kim through the newly-created doorway.

  • RingoRingo Registered User regular
    Gaga grabs Henry's hand and leads him and Fame through the door.

    ceres wrote: »
    I'm just going to go ahead and lock this thread before I feel any worse about humanity.
    AUGMENTOS - Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    Black Metal Boy looks around the apartment. "Heyyyyyy, a drum kit!"

  • HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    HOPEFULLY I DIDN'T RIP REALITY TOO BADLY. THAT COULD HAVE CONSEQUENCES LATER. IF YOU'VE GOT A MICROPHONE HERE THAT WOULD BE GOOD. I AM PROBABLY LOUD ENOUGH TO SING OVER THE BAND BUT I'M FEELING THE NEED TO WRAP THE CORD AROUND MY HAND IN LIKE A PAINFUL KIND OF WAY.

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  • KayKay Registered User regular
    Kim guides the group (sans Henry, it seems?) along a short corridor through sub-space, and to another adorned with a stylised, grinning face. It looks like someone's sharpied glasses and a goatee on it.

    Once through, they end up in the living room of Kim's apartment, and yes indeed, there's a drum kit in there. The hi-hat's been knocked over, and the double-kick setup on the bass has had the beaters have been replaced with a hammer (wrapped with firm cushioning) and a huge lollipop (without cushioning), but it looks like a fairly decent kit overall.

    "You don't need a microphone, but sure. There are a couple in that box by the consoles," she says flatly, gesturing towards the TV and games stuff. "I think the best one is the Rock Band mic. People haven't tried eating that one as much as the others."

  • simonwolfsimonwolf Registered User regular
    As the rift in time and space closes, the heroic band found themselves in the apartment, complete with its strange smells and kit-bashed drum kit. It was certainly a sight to behold, if by "sight" you mean "slightly uncomfortable room". Still, it was better than no band space at all, and the crew could certainly find themselves putting a stalwart showing of their unified talent together... if only they believed in their own talents.
    Spoiler:

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  • descdesc 1969 in the sunshine Registered User regular
    Bmb plops himself onto Kim's old drum stool and spins himself in a few circles to adjust the height down. Whipping out his own drum sticks, he taps a few hits on each drum before noticing the unorthodox bass pedal arrangement.

    Throwing the devil horn handsign to Kim in respect (hammer of Thor style bass dude!) he begins warming up with a few quick blast beats as everyone tunes their insruments and selects keytar patches and such.

    Tak! Tak! Taka taka taka taka!

  • HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    I'M JUST GOING TO WRAP THE CORD AROUND MY FIST UNTIL I CAN'T FEEL MY FINGERS... YEAH, THAT'S IT. ONE. TWO. I'LL TALK OVER THE DRUMS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS THEN YOU TWO PLAY GUITAR AND... DO WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU DO.

    PRESIDENT'S DAY

    EXIT WOUNDS

    CRAWL THROUGH TO FREEDOM

    AND GO FUCK YOURSELF

    HHHRRRRAAAAAAAAAA

    Spoiler:

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  • KayKay Registered User regular
    Kim watches Bmb get into position, then throws up the horns in response before kneeling down in front of her guitar case.

    "I guess I go with bass then, if Ms Stuffmewith Germanotters is on keytar, eh," she mutters to herself with a vague frown on her face. She opens the case, and inside is a bass. And a can of mace.

    She slides the strap over her shoulder, plugs into a convenient amp, and checks her tuning. Check check.

    Kim then flexes the fingers of her right hand, letting the bones crackle and pop as she strains them, before placing her left gently on the giraffe-like neck of her Thundercrank.

    Experimentally, she strums out the first few bars to 'Every Day is a Winding Road', before catching the machine-gun thrum of a beat that Bmb is slamming out. As Henry starts to scream in that rantacular manner of his, Kim's foot starts to tap. Her head starts to nod.

    She ignores the scent of wet bear (like wet dog, but hairier) in her apartment's living room, and puts her fingers to the thick metal strings.

    What pours forth from her none-too-tender ministrations is a bit of Skunk Anansie, a little Northern Exposure, and a whole lot of RAGE Against the Machine. I guess there's a bit of Sex Bob-omb's golden years, and a smidgin of Shatterband, but hey. Kim Pine puts out some Fat Bass Steaks, and dear god, there's a lot of meat on them.
    Spoiler:

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