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Tales from the Dish Pits

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Do you work in a kitchen? I've been working in a dozen different restaurants, bars and bistros over the past half a dozen years, and if there's one thing you accumulate en masse aside from burns, scars, and foreign swear words, it's war stories. That one time the work experience kid almost fell in the deep fryer, or the chef chopped a finger off and kept working his whole shift anyway, or you got so pissed off with a waiter that you got into a full on fist fight right in front of the customers. So what about you fine people? Share your tales of woe.

E Flat on
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Posts

  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User
    One time I wanted to work in a kitchen, but then I remembered I like having a regular social life

    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase It's all in the game though, right?Registered User, ClubPA regular
    At first I thought this said "Tales From the Peach Pit" and I got excited it was an old school 90210 thread.

    Now I'm disappointed.

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  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    At first I thought this said "Tales From the Peach Pit" and I got excited it was an old school 90210 thread.

    Now I'm disappointed.

    I'm going to grow my sideburns just in case.

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  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    I have worked in a kitchen for several years

    it is not as zany as advertised

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase It's all in the game though, right?Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Hunter wrote: »
    At first I thought this said "Tales From the Peach Pit" and I got excited it was an old school 90210 thread.

    Now I'm disappointed.

    I'm going to grow my sideburns just in case.

    I'm always a partial shave away from being sideburned.

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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    waiting is about the most accurate movie ever made in re: working in a restaurant

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    waiting is about the most accurate movie ever made in re: working in a restaurant

    So Dane Cook is not funny no matter what job he's doing?

    Sammy_11Feb2012-2.jpgSammy_bath2_Feb2012-1.jpg
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    I've considered working as a cook, but then I remembered I enjoy cooking and doing it as a job would make me hate it so much.

    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    BYToady wrote: »
    I've considered working as a cook, but then I remembered I enjoy cooking and doing it as a job would make me hate it so much.

    Tonight you wanna make a fine meal?

    Too bad fry up some chicken strips for the kids and slop some more sauce on that steak.

  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    BYToady wrote: »
    I've considered working as a cook, but then I remembered I enjoy cooking and doing it as a job would make me hate it so much.

    depends on where you work

    most places I'd say it's not so much "cooking" as it is "following simple instructons repeatedly"

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  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    I love to cook and even wash dishes. I get some deep thinking going on and use it to unwind from all the bullshit.

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  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood What happened to you? The Blue RouteRegistered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    waiting is about the most accurate movie ever made in re: working in a restaurant

    yep

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  • AwkoAwko Registered User regular
    I used to work as a general kitchen hand/dish pig until I got a job out on the floor/behing the bar.

    Thinking about going back to washing though, don't have to deal with people and once you're in the zone, it's pretty calming

  • redheadredhead Registered User
    my summer job since i was 16 has been to work in the kitchen for this one place up the woods

    first few years were hella scrubbing/repetitive chopping/a little cooking, then last year i was made a supervisor and it was even more of all of those (when something goes wrong at that place, it ain't the cheap labor that's gonna volunteer to work 4 extra hours to get shit out on time, it's the cooks who are actually getting paid) plus the joys/stresses of supervising and actually having responsibility

    will probably be head cook this year because so many people aren't coming back haha oh boy fuck me

  • CorporateLogoCorporateLogo Registered User regular
    Tales from the Punchbowl

    Also dishwashing in an old folks home weren't so bad for a high school job, I must say

  • AwkoAwko Registered User regular
    This is every kitchen ever
    Spoiler:

  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    It was always so difficult to not eat all the food on customers plates when I worked as a dishwasher. I always had to remind myself that they all have HIV.

  • WeaverWeaver Cap'n NEW CRUNCH CITYRegistered User regular
    This could just go in the jobs thread.

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  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=116773
    "As a clarification, this doesn't mean you can't talk about certain topics. The "science thread" is locked, but if you find a really interesting science article and you want to talk about it, make a thread and talk about it. Just don't make it a "put all science things in here" thread.

    Different topics get different threads. We're trying to break up how ugly this forum operates, not trying to prevent you from discussing what you want. It'd be nice not to have to rely on megathreads at all in due time."

    Larlar's word is Lawlaw.

  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    Campion wrote: »
    It was always so difficult to not eat all the food on customers plates when I worked as a dishwasher.

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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  • CampionCampion Registered User regular
    PEOPLE THROW OUT SO MUCH DELICIOUS FOODS IT IS NUTS! They will literally take a bite and that's done and no they won't take it home throw it out.

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Hunter wrote: »
    At first I thought this said "Tales From the Peach Pit" and I got excited it was an old school 90210 thread.

    Now I'm disappointed.

    I'm going to grow my sideburns just in case.

    Why don't you already have sideburns?

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    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
  • AntimatterAntimatter The First Mechanized Ninja Repent!Registered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    At first I thought this said "Tales From the Peach Pit" and I got excited it was an old school 90210 thread.

    Now I'm disappointed.

    I'm going to grow my sideburns just in case.

    Why don't you already have sideburns?
    he's careful with inflammable materials

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  • vermiculturevermiculture Registered User regular
    In college i used to wash dishes and it was probably the best job.

    I used to get drunk before work, and then nonsensically argue my way up to the main cooking line where I would prepare steaks for people. At that point in time I had not eaten meat in something like 6 years, but I felt more than qualified to cook it for other people.

  • YoSoyTheWalrusYoSoyTheWalrus Registered User regular
    Awko wrote: »
    I used to work as a general kitchen hand/dish pig until I got a job out on the floor/behing the bar.

    Thinking about going back to washing though, don't have to deal with people and once you're in the zone, it's pretty calming
    Spoiler:

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  • redheadredhead Registered User

    i have never seen these before and i like them

  • YoSoyTheWalrusYoSoyTheWalrus Registered User regular
    They are good

    that one is my favorite

    e pretty sure it is about me specifically

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  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    The best part of working at a golf course restaurant kitchen the summer after grad was the fact that the manager was filthy old man and the wait-staff were all smoking hot 18 year old, and younger, girls.

    Raneados wrote: »
    so what SPECIFICALLY is the problem with my hole?
  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle sometimes a boy just needs to get out of the house and meet some girls Registered User regular
    I'm glad I don't work in a kitchen anymore.

    As we said at Godfathers, we were a number not a name. But Pizza Hut was the besssssssttttttttttt! So it all depends on management.

    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.
  • Goose!Goose! I'm jumpin' IN! Wraaugh!Registered User regular
    Pretty sure there's a jobs thread.

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  • DaricDaric Registered User regular
    There is no such thing as sexual harassment in a restaurant job

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  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    Goose! wrote: »
    Pretty sure there's a jobs thread.



    Why don't you go post in it?

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  • CrashmoCrashmo Registered User regular
    Waiting is pretty good

    Really hits the marks in a lot of places about working in a restaurant

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  • YoSoyTheWalrusYoSoyTheWalrus Registered User regular
    Ruckus wrote: »
    The best part of working at a golf course restaurant kitchen the summer after grad was the fact that the manager was an excellent businessman and the wait-staff were all smoking hot 18 year old, and younger, girls.

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  • DaricDaric Registered User regular
    I've never seen anyone purposely mess with someone's food, but that's about the only thing that was different.

    Also, we talk about sex pretty much non-stop all day at work.

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  • GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff Registered User regular
    I have worked in many restaurants over the last few years. I do enjoy it. Washed dishes, prep work, salad stations, line cooks...

    Last summer, the kitchen job I had been at for about a year and a half at that point... hoo boy. Sketchy management. The head chef and I got along incredibly well so I stuck it out for him and because, despite the shoddiness of the administration, we did our job well and enjoyed it.

    Well, the head chef left, and so for about 3 weeks I was dumped on with all the responsibilities. I did the orders for EVERYTHING, when I had never done it before. Was going entirely on what I had seen the head chef do and what I knew we usually got on shipment days. Not fun though. At all. It all ended up with me quitting and telling the restaurant manager I hated the job and never wanted to come back.

    Now I wash dishes and help with dinner services at a high-end old folks home. The head chef and sous chef are guys I worked with at another restaurant a few years back. That's one great aspect about working in kitchens, you start to know people and soon enough you can get a job almost anywhere in a city because you know people. It's great.

    edit: Yeah, Daric, that's how it is at all the good jobs I've been at too. Normal conversations are for pussies.

    http://strngrinastrngland.tumblr.com/ - My Tumblr / http://twitter.com/#!/dirtylonghair - My Twitter / GT: GreasyKidsStuff
  • TankHammerTankHammer Extreme Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    Campion wrote: »
    It was always so difficult to not eat all the food on customers plates when I worked as a dishwasher.

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    I waited tables in a sushi/pan-asian cuisine place for awhile in college. I used to eat leftover sushi from customer's plates all the time. When you work in a restaurant being concerned about "germs" in your food seems hilariously trivial and downright pointless because you get to see how food is handled during preparation.

    The sushi was pristine compared to anything else you could be eating and because of the care taken to make it and arrange it on the plate you could always tell if it had even come into contact with so much as a chopstick.

    I ate so many different kinds of sushi that I'd never have ordered myself by eating what my customers left on their plates.

    Flying fish roe (the gelatinous mass of orange pearl-like eggs they excrete) was the least-appetizing thing I ever ate by doing that. It tasted like little cysts filled with sea-water.

    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | 2zivq6q.jpg JoeJRicc
  • GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff Registered User regular
    Here's a poll question: How many times have you pretended a food item is your dick? Be honest.

    If I had a nickel for every time somebody walked out of the cooler with a giant beef tenderloin swinging around from their crotch, I'd be retired.

    Or making masturbating motions with a carrot. As you peel it. Fuck kitchens are weird places.

    http://strngrinastrngland.tumblr.com/ - My Tumblr / http://twitter.com/#!/dirtylonghair - My Twitter / GT: GreasyKidsStuff
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    TankHammer wrote: »
    When you work in a restaurant being concerned about "germs" in your food seems hilariously trivial and downright pointless because you get to see how food is handled during preparation.

    this

    makes me wonder about the quality of restaurants where you worked

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