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the wife has three great attributes: intelligence, a swiss army knife and charm

bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
edited February 2011 in Singularity Engine++
it's valentines day and as such i want to hear about how wonderful your missuses (and misterers) are.

this weekend i was thinking about a new television. i had been humming and hahing for a while and i was humming and hahing in this particular store and i saw a few LED screens that were cheap, and after a bit of compromise over energy efficiency we decided on one. it seemed like a bargain and it was big. i was happy.

as the salesman was printing out the receipt or whatever i made a passing comment about a smaller version of the same brand tv, and how it was on special for an insanely low price.

"why don't we buy it, then?"

"but i want the big one, i like the big one."

"why don't we buy it as well. for like the bedroom, or something. it's energy efficient, too!"

"..."

so we walk out of the store with two brand new LED televisions

i am the luckiest man alive

bsjezz on
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Posts

  • KochikensKochikens Lovely-Cuddle-Blanket-Stephen-Fry-Awesomer Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    pretty great

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited February 2011
    who gets married

    marriage is for fags

    2j6t7Sk.png
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  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    whippy I heard you have rad wedding invites

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited February 2011
    I do! have you seen them?

    2j6t7Sk.png
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  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    pfft i'm not married

    islandsig_zpslbuqorr3.jpg
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  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    this is the first valentines day in like 10 years that I will spend single

    luckily valentines day has never been a big deal

    ps whippy, bogey showed me your wedding invite thing, it is boss as hell

    nipplessig.jpg
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    who gets married

    marriage is for fags

    Only in some states.

    headthrown.jpg
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
    ·
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I only read half the post and thought it was about vibrators. Now I'm kind of disappointed.

    ·
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    If he had written it as "hemming and hawing" there would have been, perhaps, less confusion on your part.

    headthrown.jpg
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
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  • Big Red TieBig Red Tie for christ's sake look out where yr goingRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    i'm so lonely

    3926 4292 8829
    Beasteh wrote: »
    *おなら*
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  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Well, apparently there's a huge 2-for-1 vibrator sale, so that might help you out.

    ·
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    who gets married

    marriage is for fags

    you wish





    (me too)

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  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2011
    My wife made me a giant chocolate cake last night for Valentine's Day, as it always tastes better after 24 hours in the fridge. It'll be the dessert to a meal of Beef Wellington with dauphinoise potatoes tonight.

    I am spoiled and it is awesome.

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin. His father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister. Lego. They're all made of fucking lego.
    ·
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I'm wearing silver sixpence cufflinks my girlfriend got me for V-Day. Also the tie she got me for my birthday. I'm a showcase for her awesomeness.

    Another successful post, thanks to the power of Spacestar Ordering™!
    ·
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2011
    Also my wife flicked me in the balls with a tea-towel last night which I'm still feeling this morning.

    She laughed for about an hour afterwards.

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin. His father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister. Lego. They're all made of fucking lego.
    ·
  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited February 2011
    :roll:

    2j6t7Sk.png
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  • DubhDubh Michael L Lunsford drew this Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Valentine's day has always been the day of my brother's birth, and nothing else because I'm a loser who can't time his small relationship intervals within the February range.

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  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2011
    :roll:

    :rotate: ?

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin. His father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister. Lego. They're all made of fucking lego.
    ·
  • Big Red TieBig Red Tie for christ's sake look out where yr goingRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Dubh wrote: »
    Valentine's day has always been the day of my brother's birth, and nothing else because I'm a loser who can't time his small relationship intervals within the February range.

    hey, same here except i have no relationships it's just my brother's birthday

    3926 4292 8829
    Beasteh wrote: »
    *おなら*
    ·
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I have made no plans with ponygirl for today because I work all day and also I only met her a few days ago and man that'd be pretty presumptuous!

    Dubh wrote: »
    Rane is the future of ancient greek tradition
    ·
  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Raneados wrote: »
    I have made no plans with ponygirl for today because I work all day and also I only met her a few days ago and man that'd be pretty presumptuous!

    oh, c'mon You know she secretely wants you to do something anyway. Some small gesture even.

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

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  • Mr. ButtonsMr. Buttons Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    yep, basic bouquet, single flower, a McGriddle.. something that says "I think you're neat"

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  • Viscount IslandsViscount Islands [INSERT SoKo HERE] Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I've never been sad on Valentine's Day in previous years because I was single and by god I refuse to start now.

    I want to do with you
    What spring does with the cherry trees.
    ·
  • DeaconBluesDeaconBlues __BANNED USERS
    edited February 2011
    marriage is for fags

    Not in my America!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    My girlfriend is awesome, if imaginary

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  • GatsbyGatsby ElsewhereRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I wanted to get my girlfriend a chocolate bouquet and tell her "this is my display of confection for you"

    But I just went and got her half a dozen roses, strawberries and cream tea plus oatifix face wash and vanilla scrub from Lush.

    And she got me a pocket book of Oscar Wilde quotes which is so brilliant!

    Steam ID
    Friend Code: 2766 - 9202 - 0140
    ·
  • Mortal SkyMortal Sky queer punk hedge witchRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    My right hand is nice, but I prefer my left

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  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Is this the thread I need to place an order in for a super intelligent robot wife?

    bO0v7.png
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  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Macro9 wrote: »
    Is this the thread I need to place an order in for a super intelligent robot wife?

    Not too intelligent Macro

    Don't want her thinking for herself.

    ·
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I think I fucked up last night, and this girl isn't as interested in me as she once was.

    I'm also freaking out because she hasn't called or texted back since last night. Oh SE++, I'm a bit worried.

    Spoiler:
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  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Just bought myself a red velvet cupcake and am plotting my shopping tomorrow for discount candy. Happy Valentine's Day, SE++! kisses and hugs for all! xoxoxo

    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
    ·
  • SeriouslySeriously ˈpɛrɪ ˌdɒt Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Raneados wrote: »
    I have made no plans with ponygirl for today because I work all day and also I only met her a few days ago and man that'd be pretty presumptuous!

    Actually I had a friend once who had a first date on Valentine's Day and that turned out really well for him!


    I mean

    the relationship sure as shit didn't but the date did!

    X2nusG2.png
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  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Got the wife a thing of chocolate and a gift card for a massage. I made my own Valentine though - when you open it there's a drawing of a unicorn with a rainbow coming out from behind it that says "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This Unicorn Poops Rainbows Just for You."

    I think she'll find it romantic.

    steam_sig.png
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  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    this year like every single year i am spending valentines single

    SOMEONE FUCKING DATE ME

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  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Beasteh I will date you

    let's run away together

    ·
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Beasteh wrote: »
    this year like every single year i am spending valentines single

    SOMEONE FUCKING DATE ME

    Good until June 5 2012

    ·
  • Susan DelgadoSusan Delgado Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    My guy is so great and spoiled me this year... it feels really nice to have someone that does nice things because they want to, not because they think they have to.

    Go then, there are other worlds than these.
    ·
  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    i have a feeling i passed my sell by date a long time ago

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  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    my girlfriend is dying her hair purple, ostensibly for me, for valentines

    I took her out to the melting pot

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  • zen-zen- Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I got my girlfriend a card which says 'we make one hell of a pear' and there's a picture of a pear on it

    I am literally the best boyfriend ever

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