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Old [Entertainment] Thread is Old. Everyone GTFO!

QuickSnapQuickSnap Professional Beard GrowerRegistered User regular
edited April 2011 in Debate and/or Discourse
Welcome Welcome one and all to the newly recycled OP of the Penny Arcade Forums Debates & Discourse Professional Wrestling Thread! This thread is for the debating, discussing, discoursing, arguing, whining, complaining, trolling, marking, smarking, smark-marking and enjoying of the sport (itsstillrealtomedamnit.jpg) of Professional Wrestling. Or Wrasslin, if you prefer. Below the spoiler you'll find fun facts about our humble pastime and the (mostly) up to date roster of champions for the three major promotions in the United states.
WWE:
The WWE is the single largest producer and distributor of Professional Wrestling in the whole goddamn world. Don’t buy the “Sports Entertainment” spin they try and sell you; despite Ol’ Vinnie Mac’s efforts to the contrary, they are first and foremost a Professional Wrestling Company. They even have Champions to prove it.

WWE Heavyweight Champion - THE MIZ

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World Heavyweight Champion - Edge

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United States Champion - Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson) :mrgreen:

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Intercontinental Champion - Kofi Kingston

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United Tag Team Champions - The Corre (Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel)

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WWE has enjoyed the luxury of being top dog in the wrestling world for close to 12 years now, being the sole victor of the now long past Monday Night Wars. However, just because WWE is the biggest promoter, doesn’t mean they’re the only promoter.

Enter:

TNA:
Spelled out, Total Nonstop Action Wrestling is a delusional promotion founded by Jerry and Jeff Jerret (of all people). They have terrible writers and even worse management. They don't know what the hell they're doing with their talent and are for some reason unbeknownst to fans and even their own staff, stuck in a 1997’s WCW mindset (see Jeff Jerret, Vince Russo, Hulk Hogan, et al).

champs213.jpg

If I could chose one word, that wasn’t a pejorative, to describe TNA, it would be inconsistent. They really do have some grade A talent, homegrown or otherwise that, when they can get it right, make for some damn entertaing wrestling. No seriously, I’ll prove it to you:

Unbreakable 2005
Would you believe me if I told you that that match was booked by Vince Russo? True Story Bro.

Now if you want something that's a little less, I dunno, generic, you need to cross the line (lol) and step over to Indy territory!

Ring Of Honor:
Ring of Honor is the real Fuckin Deal and The Whole Fuckin Show. Arguably the biggest and most sucessful indy fed in existence. They've produced stars like CM Punk and Samoa Joe, both being successful in their respective companies. Ring of Honor is currently undergoing a little bit of a renaissance, under the even cussing gaze of Jim Cornette.

Slapping Santino Marella

Uh....yeah. The original vid I had got claimed by HDNet so that's not longer available.... So just watch Jim telling one of his trademark crazy stories.


World Heavyweight Champion - Roderick Strong

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Tag Team Champions - The Kings of Wrestling

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Television Champion - Eddie Edwards

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There's also some lovely little indy promotions out there, highlighted by our very own Psychotic One.
If you think thats cheesy then don't venture off into Indy Land. Where Invisible Hand Grenades and Hadoken's run wild!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4O7qlyZlWc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0MvM1WeLOk

<3 Kenny Omega <3
SUPAH! OMEGA! BUSTAAAAAAH!

Japan
Now what you've seen here is just a taste of wrestling in North America. If you really want to see some impressive wrestling check out some of teh Japanese promotions. This stuff is re-

WTFJapan.jpg

>_<

Once again, Japan, and listen close this time, because you're obviously not getting it:

It's supposed to be FAKE.

But no, seriously. The Japanese promotions are gonna feature some damn impressive wrestling that, 9 times out of ten, you won't see in North America. Just check out this match with Chris Hero from 2009!

Part 1

Part 2

And that's just a taste of what the Japanese scene has to offer. Observe!
NecroJumpsOffABalcony.jpgD:

What prompted that you might ask? Fucked if I know, it's freakin Necro Butcher; who really asks these kinds of questions anymore?

A few months back, Bob Saget asked the musical question What's So Funny about Pro Wrestling? His answers may astound you. Or not. But you should check it out anyways.


In other news, Mexican Luchador and masked man extraordinaire Mistico signed with WWE to great fanfare and praise in Mexico City last week. Mistico shed his familiar white mask and persona and donned a new, apparently Batman and or Kamen Rider Agito inspired blue mask and will be henceforth known as Sin Cara which means "No Face" or "Without Face" depending on the translation software that you're using. This acquisition is a major pull for WWE as Sin Cara is not only a world class wrestling but also was/is the top baby-face in all of Mexico with his popularity rivaling and possibly surpassing that of Rey Mysterio. Rumor has it that the current plan is for Sin Cara to bypass FCW all together (where he was to learn the WWE style and English) and simply be placed up on the main roster. All of this continues to follow Sin Cara's secret and everlong plan of world domination.

SinCara.jpg

In WWE news, last week on RAW, two very important things happened: One Übermensch and all around good guy John Cena cut a rap battle promo/rebuttle directed at The Rock based on comments that The Rock made towards John Cena the week before. The promo style having not been seen on WWE TV in almost as long a period of time as The Rock is also now a top selling rap single on iTunes thanks to Cena's devoted, loyal, and utterly psychotic Ceanation.

Rap Battle Bitches!

While Cena's verbal chops were impressive, he still sadly remains second best to WWE's premier Rap Master, William "OG" Regal.

Regal Freestyling on yo ass!

Showing up R-Truth

The Rock is expected to respond to Cena tonight on RAW.

Also on RAW last the voice of the WWE and all around bane of people's RAW Watching Experience Micael "cocksucker" Cole gave an in-ring interview with Jerry "The King" Lawler. Cole was as big of a dick as you might expect when given a microphone and live airtime. The King however met Cole's pointed questions with all the manner and poise you would expect from such a decorated ring veteran: he verbally castrated Cole and subsequently challenged him to a Match at Wrestlemanina 27.

KingMad.jpg

Michael Cole is also expected to respond to night on RAW.

Your savior, Chris Jericho is going to be on the next season of Dancing with The Stars, which is awesome if you like that show or love Chris Jericho. Another reason Chris Jericho is awesome is little gems like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvwC7gIr7UU

And lastly, this:
Shadowen wrote: »
Chris Jericho's final WCW match was 7/21 in Peoria, IL in a tag match teaming with Eddie against Kidman and Mysterio. Before the match, Jericho said that if he got pinned he'd leave WCW. Misterio than said everyone already knew it was his last night in WCW. (After the match) all four hugged in the ring. There were fans in near tears, as was Jericho. Kidman started a Jericho chant. Jericho said that he was overwhelmed by the response, but he still thinks that Peoria sucks

This, gentlemen, is why Chris Jericho is the best heel ever.

Couldn't have said it better myself Shadowen, couldn't have said it better myself.

We're 34 days out from Wrestlemania 27 in Atlanta, GA bitches! Who's flyin, who's buyin, what is gonna happen on the road to Wrestlemania?!

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QuickSnap on
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Posts

  • NiryaNirya Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    I want Cena to start the show on the mic, then Miz to come out to talk, then the Rock to come out.

    3 way promo to start Raw. This is what I want.

    Nirya on
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  • QuickSnapQuickSnap Professional Beard Grower Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    It's what everybody wants. But nobody will get. :(

    QuickSnap on
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  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Jericho on dancing with the stars? Awesome, even though I hate that show and he's a bigger star than most of the losers they get.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • QuickSnapQuickSnap Professional Beard Grower Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Preacher wrote: »
    Jericho on dancing with the stars? Awesome, even though I hate that show and he's a bigger star than most of the losers they get.

    He was a bigger star than most of the losers they had on Singing with the Stars. Of which I would note that Jericho was the only decent singer on that show and he got kicked off first round. That show would get the ax mid-season I believe. Thank you Fox.

    QuickSnap on
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  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    QuickSnap wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Jericho on dancing with the stars? Awesome, even though I hate that show and he's a bigger star than most of the losers they get.

    He was a bigger star than most of the losers they had on Singing with the Stars. Of which I would note that Jericho was the only decent singer on that show and he got kicked off first round. That show would get the ax mid-season I believe. Thank you Fox.

    Well its not fair as Jericho was actually in a band, but singing shows aren't always about talent or anything really. And dancing with the stars is not actually about dancing, see Palin, Bristol.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Awesome OP, well done.

    I will watch the fuck out of Dancing With the Stars. Still sad Downfall didn't continue, I loved seeing replica water get thrown off the side of a building!

    Amikron Devalia on
  • DoomSong8DoomSong8 Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    That is a truly excellent OP.

    DoomSong8 on
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  • MaximumMaximum Registered User regular
    edited February 2011
    HHH gonna show up tonight too right? Have a feeling this week It'll be 90 minutes of promos and 30 minutes of wrasslin.

    Who am I kidding, it's that way every week.

    Maximum on
  • ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning LoserdomRegistered User regular
    edited February 2011
    Though I hesitate to criticize the OP of a person generous enough to quote my own dumb self (which itself was admittedly making an observation while quoting someone else's quote), the Cornette promo video in the Ring of Honor section is no longer available due to copyright claim by HDNet Fights.

    Shadowen on
  • Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Speaking of Cornette, everyones favorite ranting and raving in podcast format, Who's Slamming Who, is over for the time being. Jimmy boy is tired of just yelling about TNA and WWE fucking up every week so he's taking some time off.

    I know, I know, don't all start crying at once!

    http://whosslammingwho.podomatic.com/entry/index/2011-02-25T06_52_55-08_00#

    Amikron Devalia on
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Corvus on
    :so_raven:
  • LockedOnTargetLockedOnTarget Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    So ROH is going to run a ppv the firday before WM AND the saturday before WW.

    A bit ballsy. I'll probably get both.

    LockedOnTarget on
  • QuickSnapQuickSnap Professional Beard Grower Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Shadowen wrote: »
    Though I hesitate to criticize the OP of a person generous enough to quote my own dumb self (which itself was admittedly making an observation while quoting someone else's quote), the Cornette promo video in the Ring of Honor section is no longer available due to copyright claim by HDNet Fights.

    Oh bloody hell. It is isn't it? Alright, I'll have to find another Cornette rant/promo vid as a place holder. Got my pick of the liter there.

    ~Edit: This will do.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26uu4-0kxjA

    QuickSnap on
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  • Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Corvus wrote: »

    You got Diving Elbow Drop!

    Amikron Devalia on
  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Attention WWE: This is how you book a ten minute comedy-heavy tag match.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ToVtQwS3rM

    PwnanObrien on
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  • LouieLouie Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Jericho's gonna be on Dancing with the Stars. Weird.

    called it.

    Louie on
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  • Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    That Cornette vid is priceless, had never seen that one before. I can totally picture Santino not giving 2 fucks about the boogey man rolling up on him too.

    Amikron Devalia on
  • LockedOnTargetLockedOnTarget Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Cornette is an asshole but he's a smart asshole who knows good booking.

    LockedOnTarget on
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    making me go find the new thread without linking it. what kind of nice guys are you.

    lonelyahava on
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Sheamus just got buried.

    Sweeney Tom on
  • Psychotic OnePsychotic One The Lord of No Pants Parts UnknownRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Its right about now that Lawler misses the days of the Spanish Announce Table and its magical attraction for Superstars to crash through.

    So is Trips is Burying HHH does that mean Taker is going to bury Kane :(

    I was really hoping for one final be all end all of Taker and Kane. And retire one or both wrestlers. If rumors are true, and they rarely are, theres always next year. Long as Takers knees and Kane's post match recovery don't become a bigger issue.

    Psychotic One on
  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    3482d12.jpg

    PwnanObrien on
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  • Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Derp derp Bourne

    Zen Vulgarity on
  • FyreWulffFyreWulff YouRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2011
    Layers and layers of continuity

    FyreWulff on
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Holy shit, Sheamus must have really pissed off Dunn.

    He didn't even last a minute against Bourne.

    Sweeney Tom on
  • Psychotic OnePsychotic One The Lord of No Pants Parts UnknownRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Fuck Yeah! Bourne is back! To bad Punk is too busy to do a proper Bourne vs Punk vengance feud.

    Psychotic One on
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Premature thread title is premature.

    Sweeney Tom on
  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Fuck yes! Bourne is back and that shooting star was amazing!

    PwnanObrien on
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  • ChillyWillyChillyWilly Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Sheamus must have really made someone mad. That was a terrible dose of double burying. At least it looks like they're not making him wear that ridiculous cape/crown combo anymore. That's one step in the right direction.

    ChillyWilly on
    PAFC Top 10 Finisher in Seasons 1 and 3. 2nd in Seasons 4 and 5. Final 4 in Season 6.
  • Andy JoeAndy Joe We claim the land for the highlord! The AdirondacksRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Good way to get the Nexus members a little individual exposure

    Andy Joe on
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  • MagellMagell Detroit Machine Guns Fort MyersRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Sheamus must have really made someone mad. That was a terrible dose of double burying. At least it looks like they're not making him wear that ridiculous cape/crown combo anymore. That's one step in the right direction.

    Sheamus wearing the Wizard King outfit was awesome. I thought it was weird that HHH destroyed him so thoroughly and weird that the face beats a heel that's already been beaten up, but it's all good to see Bourne back in the ring.

    Magell on
  • VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    DO NOT PUNT HIM IN THE SKULL

    Variable on
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  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Holy shit! They mentioned
    noface_640w.jpg

    PwnanObrien on
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  • Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Andy Joe wrote: »
    Good way to get the Nexus members a little individual exposure

    By burying them one by one? O_o

    Amikron Devalia on
  • Andy JoeAndy Joe We claim the land for the highlord! The AdirondacksRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Andy Joe wrote: »
    Good way to get the Nexus members a little individual exposure

    By burying them one by one? O_o

    Losing clean to Randy Orton is not being "buried."

    Andy Joe on
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  • Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    He looked like shit, had barely any offense, and was punted in the skull.

    You don't think its going to get sillier the next 3 weeks?

    Amikron Devalia on
  • BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I think one of them will (cheat to) win and be in Punk's corner

    the other two need to be free to be in a tag titles match

    Balefuego on
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  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien He's right, life sucks. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Cena's promos are like listening to a Will Smith diss track.

    PwnanObrien on
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  • Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    That makes sense, I guess you really can't have them going over super orton.

    edit: Cena's gay bashing gimmick, as mentioned in the last thread, is wearing pretty thin now, they really should switch it up a bit, if only for one week.

    Amikron Devalia on
  • Lord Of The PantsLord Of The Pants Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    "In a meet and greet in Sydney, Australia, Chae (Nitro girl) was asked if she was dating Kevin Nash. She said that she was. Kevin Nash a few weeks back on TV said he was going out after the show to 'eat a little Korean' so I guess that publicly puts one and one together"


    :winky:

    Lord Of The Pants on
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