Should I let them know I'm leaving

Gork

I work for a small consulting firm and as of late my boss has become intolerable so I have been looking for new jobs. Conventional wisdom is to not let your current employer know that you are looking but I'm wondering if I should let them know that I am planning to leave at the earliest opportunity. I'm somewhat hoping that they will find someone to replace me and let me go. Financially, I can swing this, so I'm not too worried about that. I also am not planning on using them for a reference beyond having them on my resume.

I'm really pretty miserable and I feel like I'm slipping into a depression. My boss will not stop hounding me and he's not the type to be reasoned with. I alternate between deciding to outright quit and hoping my boss will die in his sleep.

Would it be terrible to let them know? I suppose I would also be doing them a favor, since it would give them ample time to find a replacement for me instead of two weeks.

Improvolone

If you can afford for them to replace you, then quit.
Why do you feel you need to make this as best of a situation for them as possible?

Bionic Monkey

If he's making your life miserable, I wouldn't go out of my way to do him any favors.

That said, if you really don't care (and are actually hoping) if they let you go, even if you don't have another job lined up, then tell them. Beyond potentially being unemployed for an indeterminate time, it won't harm you any.

Improvolone

And man, you think its tough now? Telling them that is going to put the biggest fucking target on your back.

Iceman.USAF

I'd wait, but still give your 2 weeks when the time comes. If the guy is as much an ass as it sounds, he'll tell you to keep your 2 weeks and enjoy your new job.

Dehumanized

If you tell them, do it at the same time as you also give them your two weeks' notice.

MichaelLC

Dehumanized wrote: »

If you tell them, do it at the same time as you also give them your two weeks' notice.

Well, as the OP realizes, there's a good chance the boss will tell him to pack it up right then. And that's usually the case; if they're undervaluing/abusing him now, they'll probably think they can do without him.

I would wait until you get some interviews at least, OP, so you can gauge the market. Depends on your financial state and the desire for your skills - can you go without working for 6 months? A year?

edit: Here's our Job Thread as well.

Thundyrkatz

There is no reason to tip your hand any earlier then you need to. You may feel like it would fell great to get that weight off your back, but more then likely work will become more painful not less.

we have all been in a terrible job, and each day seems like an eternity. But i strongly suggest that you at least take a look around at the job market and go on an interview or two before you say you are quitting.

the only thing i would tell your current employer is that you will be leaving in two weeks, and its been a great experience and you appreciate the time. (its a lie, i know)

no need to burn any bridges, you never know when you will run into these people again, especially if you plan to stay in the same field.

Disrupter

Even if you financially do not mind being unemployed for a bit...you honestly do not know how long that might be in this economy.

You dont wanna put yourself in a position where you are unemployed and do not get unemployment.

What you need to do is mentally divorce yourself from the position while you look for a new job. Mentally quit, but dont actually. You dont need to let your boss or work get you down, but take advantage of a paycheck. If eventually your work suffers from this and they let you go, you will likely be able to get unemployment.

Im not sure if you could get unemployment if you tell a boss "im looking for another job" then they let you go. But find that out, because if you can, then I would definately tell them.

As shitty as it is to "take advantage" of the company by not being 100% invested in it while you look for other work, it is honestly the smartest play from your end. You get paid, you get to not really stress about the job and you get to focus on finding a new one.

Morally its a bit shady, but if your boss is that bad, its small penance for his/her actions.

bowen

Disrupter wrote: »

Even if you financially do not mind being unemployed for a bit...you honestly do not know how long that might be in this economy.

You dont wanna put yourself in a position where you are unemployed and do not get unemployment.

What you need to do is mentally divorce yourself from the position while you look for a new job. Mentally quit, but dont actually. You dont need to let your boss or work get you down, but take advantage of a paycheck. If eventually your work suffers from this and they let you go, you will likely be able to get unemployment.

Im not sure if you could get unemployment if you tell a boss "im looking for another job" then they let you go. But find that out, because if you can, then I would definately tell them.

As shitty as it is to "take advantage" of the company by not being 100% invested in it while you look for other work, it is honestly the smartest play from your end. You get paid, you get to not really stress about the job and you get to focus on finding a new one.

Morally its a bit shady, but if your boss is that bad, its small penance for his/her actions.

You can. If you are fired for any reason except abandonment (you just stop showing up physically for work) you are pretty much eligible in any state I've looked at (not many, but they all seem to have the same unemployment rules). This might change for right-to-work states but I would guess they'd have to have some pretty big cojones to fight that.

Thanatos

Do not quit under any circumstances if you can't be without income for at least six months, including assuming at least one emergency costing a few thousand dollars during that time.

Not only is it hard to find a job right now, it's much harder to find a job if you're not already employed.

ceres

My go-to answer to this question is always "no". Your company is looking out for #1, and if you don't care about the reference, you should too.

I have to ask, though... have you tried to sort this out internally? Not necessarily by interacting with your abusive boss, but by trying to go to his boss, or to HR (if he has a boss or there is an HR)? If neither of these routes exist because this is a three-person (or very small) company, you can ignore this whole paragraph; otherwise, it might be a good idea to try these things. At best your situation changes, and at worst when the next guy has to put up with it there's some prior record of this sort of behavior. If you're planning to leave anyway you have very little to lose but possibly something significant to gain.

Again, if there is no boss's boss or HR department where you work, feel free to go ahead and ignore me.

Usagi

Two things:

What Thanatos said, it's hard to find a job right now - it's at least doubly so if you're already unemployed. Stick it out until you get something better lined up.

And is there someone above Boss, like Owner or HR manager, that you'd be able to explain how uncomfortable the situation is? Barring that, have you sat down and said to your Boss that s/he's making you feel pretty inadequate and totally overmanaging? Some people just think that's the normal way of managing people and won't stop until someone pulls them aside and says Hey, quit it. Because if you don't, whoever replaces you is going to end up in the same terrible situation.

AtomBomb

You need to decide what you want to happen and then take the necessary actions based on that decision. Do not decide what you want to happen and then take actions that will put all the power in someone else's hands and hope that the end result is what you want. What if you tell your boss your looking for other work and he decides not to fire you, but instead decides to make your life as miserable as he is legally allowed until you quit? If you want to quit, quit. If you want to get fired, stop making an effort at your job. If you want to make your current job better follow Ceres's advice. If you want to keep this job while you look for another, make looking for another job your main focus and do enough at your current job so that you don't get fired.

tldr- Giving the control over your life that you have to someone that is making you miserable is a bad idea.

Gork

Sorting this out internally is definitely not an option. It's a five person company, my boss is the owner and our, "HR" is his mistress.

Yeah. It's like that.

I'll just keep soldiering on in the hopes they get as sick of dealing with me as I am of them.

bowen

Yeah just show up and do your work, don't let it bother you. Shrug your shoulders and say "I've done my best" to yourself or others.

What exactly is he doing that's bothering you? I mean if he's hounding you does he have an imaginary deadline or something? Personally I'd just confront him about it. "Do you have a deadline that you'd like me to meet or can I help you plan and accommodate time for projects?" If you're feeling crass, though I'd advise against it, you could say, "Badgering me will not make me work faster." at the end of that question.

DoctorArch

I had a miserably similar situation at my workplace a few years ago where my supervisor decided I was a threat and made my life miserable, and my boss (with whom I had a fairly good working relationship) decided to appease the supervisor instead of fixing the problem. In my situation, where I had both a good relationship with my boss and was very protected from potential retribution due to the employee handbook, I was upfront about my pursuing other jobs because I was no longer comfortable at the workplace. If you do not have both of those elements, then absolutely do not tell your current employer that you are looking for another job until you can give your two weeks notice.

Deadfall

Yeah, be the bigger person here. Keep your head down, do your work and don't say anything about it.

Meanwhile, look for a new job and then give your two weeks notice. If your boss terminates you right there and is going to be a goose about it, at least you tried. Keep your dignity, let him lose his.

witch_ie

I know that in situations like these, it can seem so much better to just quit. I suggest that, if possible, you take some time off when you're able to really think about what is best for you - unemployment and removal from that environment, or coping until you can find something better.

Knowing when you'll be able to take the time and gain some perspective will also help with the day to day until your vacation, because you'll be able to think - for that one week, I won't have to deal with this.