Debate and/or Discourse: AWESOME POST in "[Internet Dating] Travelling is really boring",

riz

riz has reported a post.

Reason:

A glorious bit of prose. Also, down with cilantro.

Post: [Internet Dating] Travelling is really boring
Forum: Debate and/or Discourse
Assigned Moderators: Elki, ElJeffe, Irond Will, jacobkosh

Posted by: Sarcastro
Original Content:

The Cilantro Gambit

So I was cruising profiles and kept seeing this one high-end match; a very smart, very cute girl, and among other things, mentions of Douglas Adams and Joss Whedon and such, and then, buried in a parenthesis I see she hates cilantro. Now folks, I goddamn hate cilantro, and I was trying to describe why. And then this happened.

Spoiler:

Cilantro Ruins Everything

I first met Cilantro in the summer of '96, where with a pandering smile and pretentious eyes he offered to infuse the butter on my steak. He seemed like a pleasent enough fellow, and the name invoked an exotic sort of consideration- like lemongrass, or long island ice tea. He was billed at that time as nouveau couture, and it was with some delight I had my first taste.

But something had gone horribly wrong. There was no exotic herb, only the taste of muddy welcome mat smeared all over my dinner. There had to be some mistake. A friend of mine happened to be on staff, and I asked if everything was alright in the kitchen, as perhaps something had spoiled, and somehow made it onto my plate. No no, I was assured, everything was just fine. But it wasn't. Cilantro; you evil bastard.

It wasn't long before he started pulling the same scam everywhere. Promises made and never kept. Oh of course sir, I'll freshen up that salsa, I'll add zip to your salmon fillet, I'll butter up that tiger shrimp, I'll ride your goddamn mango. Are you quite sure, Cilantro? Because what I think you will do, is make everything taste like it was wrapped up in an old shoe and buried in the yard for a week.

In a world where I love to discover new tastes and the spice melange of every new place, he has become the answer to every negative food question. What's wrong with this chilli soy? Cilantro. Why does this kebab taste like geriatric feet? Cilantro. Jesus H Christmas, how do you screw up a house salad? Ohhh ho ho, well played Cilantro, well played indeed. Did not see that coming. Until next time then, when the next game begins.

because thinking + Sarcastro = essay. So I sent it, well, with an intro paragraph at the end (hi, you seem pretty cool, I noticed you like three of my favorite things etc), and now I am having second thoughts. Well, first thoughts really, it was totally an impulse thing.

a) How weird is this?
b) There might be something wrong with me.

I am aware the second point is not a question.

Tox

Well played indeed, cilantro.

Anialos

If that lady does not give him all of the e-lovin's there is no justice.

OSUJumpMan

4 stars for the tale alone. another star for using it to break the internet-ice with a lady-type.

Spacemilk

This is believed to be a genetic thing possibly arising from known variation in how you taste a certain chemical. I couldn't find any solid proof of this though. But googling it shows that there are people all over the world who loathe cilantro too.

I happen to love cilantro, personally

Sparvy

Oh god yes, I wasn't getting it at first but coriander sure is horribly disgusting. I have also heard the genetic explanation, my dad can't stand it either.

Rikushix

Spacemilk wrote: »

This is believed to be a genetic thing possibly arising from known variation in how you taste a certain chemical. I couldn't find any solid proof of this though. But googling it shows that there are people all over the world who loathe cilantro too.

I happen to love cilantro, personally

I wonder if this would explain aniseed.

I don't think I've ever met a single person who was ambivalent about the taste of liquorice. You either love it or you hate it. I despise black liquorice and I think it's the foodstuff of Satan himself. Same goes for black jellybeans and Sambuca.

edit: I actually found this webpage that mimics my feelings about liquorice and I'm wondering if people feel the same way. I can't stand aniseed, I dislike carraway, I'll permit fennel, I like basil, and tarragon is one of my favorite herbs to use ever, right behind rosemary. Someone on the thread even says "Are you sure you're not talking about cilantro? You're reacting like it's cilantro."



Anyway. It's a post by Sarcastro so by definition it gets at least four stars. Definitely one of my favourite posters.

riz

Spacemilk wrote: »

This is believed to be a genetic thing possibly arising from known variation in how you taste a certain chemical. I couldn't find any solid proof of this though. But googling it shows that there are people all over the world who loathe cilantro too.

I happen to love cilantro, personally

Yeah, I've read this before. I resent nature for doing this to me. It's really difficult to avoid cilantro. That's why I loved Sarcastro's post so much, really, because you'll order something that seems totally innocuous and then SURPRISE! Stuck picking tiny bits of leaves out of your soup before you can eat. Or just not eating it because it's so well blended in. Ugh.

Oh I hate black licorice too. But not to the same degree as cilantro.

L|ama

its me im ambivalent about black liquorice

PkErthbnd

The worst thing about cilantro? When you don't know it's in something and you bite right into a piece oh god gruhbllghhgh

We have to add cilantro to some of our soups at work and I always wait for the customer to say something about how awful it is. And they eat it.

Every.

Time.

Triple B

Well I tell ya what, gents...

She better respond to, meet, and marry this man. If only to be able to tell their kids someday of how they met and fell in love because of a mutual and fiery hatred for cilantro.

Addendum: It really does taste like thoroughly tenderized, hard-boiled ass, though. Good call.

admanb

The only times I've ever said, "Sorry. I just can't eat this." were when the item in question was made with cilantro.

Rikushix

I just ate some cilantro last night out of curiosity and I don't see what's so wrong with it. It doesn't really taste like anything. Just kinda musty.

riz

Lucky.

Triple B

riz wrote: »

Lucky.

Srsly.

Most of us are tasting the cleft of a cow's hoof. You're tasting "kinda musty". You should be thankful.

Rikushix

I will admit that what I ate were most likely EXTREMELY old cilantro leaves (raided parent's spice rack while house-sitting), so maybe they were a little flavourless anyway. Hm. I will need to go out and buy some fresh cilantro to find out for sure!

I don't know about you guys, but I find that fascinating. The concept that there may be a genetic switch that makes us either love or hate something like cilantro.

Triple B

Rikushix wrote: »

I will admit that what I ate were most likely EXTREMELY old cilantro leaves (raided parent's spice rack while house-sitting), so maybe they were a little flavourless anyway. Hm. I will need to go out and buy some fresh cilantro to find out for sure!

I don't know about you guys, but I find that fascinating. The concept that there may be a genetic switch that makes us either love or hate something like cilantro.

I'm sure there isn't like, one specific DNA thingy for only cilantro. It probably effects lots of things plus cilantro. In fact, I am willing to theorize that the presence of a soul would cause one to detest cilantro, and the absence thereof leads to its enjoyment.

I also found a somewhat interesting article on the subject. In fact, there are websites solely dedicated to the hatred of cilantro.

I also hate anything to do with any vegetable that has "pepper" in the name, cannot stand raw tomatoes but love tomato products like tomato soup, and ragù, am completely infatuated with basil, and therefore find pesto to be one of life's greater food-related joys.

I might be kinda weird.

Kristmas Kthulhu

Triple B wrote: »

In fact, I am willing to theorize that the presence of a soul would cause one to detest cilantro, and the absence thereof leads to its enjoyment.

I love cilantro. It has to be that you're tasting it wrong. Or maybe I'm tasting it wrong.

But if I could choose whether to absolutely love or hate an innocuous herb, I'd go with love.

Although since I am an atheist, it could be sort of like the inverse of holy water: anathema to Christians.

Edit: Oh, and despite our differences of opinion, this still deserves 5 stars. He did actually send it before asking PA dudes about their opinions on it, right?

Triple B

or maybe you just enjoy things that taste like butt AMIRITE

EskimoDave

I do like cilantro, just the leaves though. Has a cirtusy-lemony flavour going on.

Rikushix

Triple B wrote: »

Rikushix wrote: »

I will admit that what I ate were most likely EXTREMELY old cilantro leaves (raided parent's spice rack while house-sitting), so maybe they were a little flavourless anyway. Hm. I will need to go out and buy some fresh cilantro to find out for sure!

I don't know about you guys, but I find that fascinating. The concept that there may be a genetic switch that makes us either love or hate something like cilantro.

I'm sure there isn't like, one specific DNA thingy for only cilantro. It probably effects lots of things plus cilantro. In fact, I am willing to theorize that the presence of a soul would cause one to detest cilantro, and the absence thereof leads to its enjoyment.

I also found a somewhat interesting article on the subject. In fact, there are websites solely dedicated to the hatred of cilantro.

I also hate anything to do with any vegetable that has "pepper" in the name, cannot stand raw tomatoes but love tomato products like tomato soup, and ragù, am completely infatuated with basil, and therefore find pesto to be one of life's greater food-related joys.

I might be kinda weird.

Do you like tomatoes on sandwiches or burgers?

Triple B

Rikushix wrote: »

Do you like tomatoes on sandwiches or burgers?

I do not like them anywhere