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Is my new wedding ring too tight?

poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
edited March 2011 in Help / Advice Forum
Hi

I've been married nearly 9 years and I have a 2-year-old daughter, and until recently we never felt the desire to have wedding rings.

However things have changed and last month we bought a pair and picked them up yesterday.

I've never worn a ring before, and I'm left-handed, which I imagine would make me more aware of the ring.

It goes on OK, the finger feels fine with OK circulation - no tingles or colour changes or anything. I can get it off fairly easily, though I have to twist it slightly to get it over the knuckle.

It leaves a pale mark underneath though, and I find it uncomfortable. I slept OK with it last night, but I'm aware of it and constantly wanting to fidget with it.

It's a fairly wide band of 8mm or so, platinum with a single small diamond. Here's a picture:


picsmar2011074.th.jpg

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

It's more the thin wide type than the thick rounded band some people get.

So will I get used to it? Is there anything I can do to help? If I'm just being a big baby, how can I judge well whether it's actually too small or not?

Thanks.

poshniallo on
I figure I could take a bear.

Posts

  • ceresceres Humming hallelujah in the dark Lost with a compass in the fogSuper Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited March 2011
    It took my husband several weeks to get used to wearing a ring. The thing is, it should come off pretty easily, but you don't want it sliding off on its own. If you're really uncomfortable, take it back to the jeweler for potential resizing, but I would give it another week or so of wear before you do this.

    Also, don't forget to wash under it. :P I know that seems obvious, but you'd be surprised.

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  • MrOlettaMrOletta Registered User
    edited March 2011
    poshniallo wrote: »
    but I'm aware of it and constantly wanting to fidget with it.

    I'm 1 year married, and it took me a good chunk of that before I just left the ring on my finger without playing with it. I think it's normal and something that'll pass.

    I'm not sure how I feel about it leaving a white mark under your skin though, as that implies tightness. Maybe take it to a local jewelry shop in the mall and ask to get sized/check the size of your current ring?

  • GrobianGrobian What's on sale? Pliers!Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    If you'd had it for a day, then it's normal to feel strange. You'll probably get used to it.

    For the record, I have my ring for 10ish years and I'm aware of it in that I feel naked without it and I also fidget with it a lot. But that's more due to me always wanting to find something to do with my hands while thinking and the ring is right there.

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  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Did you get sized by a jeweler or did you buy a random set that you thought fit? Jewelers size for free, they have a very simple tool for doing so. So if you haven't done that, you should!

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  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    It was made bespoke by a good jeweller - they measured me. I do worry that the testing tool was narrow but the ring is wide, and whether that matters.

    My wife has a pale mark under hers but finds it utterly comfortable.

    Hmmm...

    I figure I could take a bear.
  • mtsmts Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    could just be the inner curvature style of the band is not right for you, there are several types. I personally couldn't stand the flat edge kind. I also take my ring off all the time. i don't shower in it nor do i sleep in it.

    If you just got it you probably need to get used to it. there is also the possibility you got sized wrong or at a time of the day where you didn't have swollen fingers. I got sized when i ordered my ring and when it finally came in, it ended up being like a size or so too small. this was with getting measured by the jeweler

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  • The_Glad_HatterThe_Glad_Hatter Rogue Jpeg Jockey Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    a ring's width definately influences the fitting.
    I just fitted my wedding ring, and i was told to get a slightly bigger size than the fitting tool since my ring was wider (half a size bigger or something...)

    ozr4h81a0maq.jpg0lwmzl3bfzok.jpg
  • IcemopperIcemopper Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    poshniallo wrote: »
    It leaves a pale mark underneath though, and I find it uncomfortable. I slept OK with it last night, but I'm aware of it and constantly wanting to fidget with it.

    Like everyone else said, it takes a long time to get used to it. I wouldn't worry, but if in 2 months or so, you still have issues, head back to the jeweler and ask to get your finger sized again.

    My first ring was much too big, I could fling my wrist and it would slide dangerously close to the end of my finger, ready to fall off. I got it resized, and now I have to twist it to get it over the knuckle. It still has potential to slide off if I'm washing my hands with soap, but I don't worry anymore.


    The pale mark will be there for a while, but it'll go away. Sometimes it actually stays because that portion of the finger is getting less sunlight.


    And out of curiosity, what does the text say, if you don't mind my asking?

    7nUkagJ.png
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  • HuxleyHuxley Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I've been married nearly 4 years and I still fidget with mine constantly. Also, I've never slept in it, as it would drive me crazy all night. It rests happily on my nightstand next to my phone and my glasses, and it's kind of neat to wake up every morning and put it on first thing.

    Like others said, give it a month or two. If it's still bothering you, it'll be worth the price to have it resized.

  • spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I still fidget with mine after fifteen years, but I fidget. I don't think about the ring's presence very often, though it did take a while to get used to it.

    Especially if you're not used to wearing fat rings, it's going to take some time. Just leave it on and go about your business, in a few weeks you'll hardly notice unless you get soap or hair gel or oil or something underneath it.

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  • mtsmts Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    part of the fun in wearing a ring is to fidget with it.

    its a nice quiet distraction for idle hands

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  • EshEsh Sunshine! Kittens! Rainbows! Smiles! Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    poshniallo wrote: »
    It was made bespoke by a good jeweller - they measured me. I do worry that the testing tool was narrow but the ring is wide, and whether that matters.

    My wife has a pale mark under hers but finds it utterly comfortable.

    Hmmm...

    Might be because your wife is used to wearing rings.

    "At first he thought it might be a natural occurrence - maybe a rabbit. But upon closer inspection, it was clear a knife had been used. And rabbits don't carry knives."
  • ATIRageATIRage Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Aside from ease and comfort another reason why you want to have the ring slide on or off easily is in the event that you require medical evaluation or succumb to a medical emergency. Multiple times my father would tell me that patients would have rings that were on too tight and as a result the ring had to be cut off prior to surgery. You don't want to lose your ring permanently as a result of medical requirements.

    Not all surgeries or medical issues require you to remove your ring prior to medical service, but I am not sure which ones would or would not require you to take off your ring, so to be safe make sure you can get the ring off easily, or with the help of some kind of lubricant.

  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 a.k.a. Nubmonger/Antaeus#1352, 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion Oakland, CARegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    It's all psychological. It's your subconscious telling you something.

    Kidding, kidding. Add my vote to the echo chamber of, "You'll get used to it."

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  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Just had my wedding ring sized, thought it was fairly tight when I tried it on. Jeweler showed me a trick: Put a squirt or two of windex on your finger just below the ring. If the ring's too tight, it'll still be hard to get off. If it's sized correctly, it'll slide right off. This is safe with white and yellow gold, platium, diamonds, mosenite and CZ, but he did mention never do it with silver or opal.

    He also recommended doing that any time you need to call paramedics, and get the ring off before they get there. At least around here, the number of people who lose their rings because they're too tight and have to be cut off is nothing compared to the number who lose their rings because they're properly snug and doctors just cut it off anyway because it doesn't slide off on its own.

  • lonelyahavalonelyahava One day, I will be able to say to myself "I am beautiful and I am perfect just the way I am"Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    When Ecco came to DC last january to meet me, we both got rings. Ring finger, right hand.

    I fidget with mine all the time, he doesn't even wear his.

    I have a pal mark under my ring, and the skin is a bit smoother there too.

    I take the ring off when I shower, doing the dishes, or handling raw ingredients.

    other than that, It's always on and I miss it when it's not.

    You'll get used to it, give it some time.

    Side note, gorgeous ring!!

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  • LewieP's MummyLewieP's Mummy Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I've worn my wedding ring/engagement ring for nearly 32 years now, I still fiddle with it. If I'm cold, its a little looser, if I'm hot, its a little tighter. I rarely take it off, when I do, my hand feels weird, I'm so used to a ring being there. They are supposed to be tight enough to not drop off, but not tight enough to easily fall off. If your weight goes up or down significantly, you'll need it re-sizing - I (temporarily) lost my engagement ring in a shop because it fell off when I was trying on clothes, after I'd lost some weight! I had it resized the next day.

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  • IcemopperIcemopper Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    What LewieP's Mummy said is true, your finger will change shape at times. Not the bone, but the fatty part. You should try to size it according to the bone, with just enough room to get it around that. Of course, if it is uncomfortably tight, try again.

    Also, depending on your metabolism, salty foods, among others, can swell your hands and fingers. If my wife and I eat at a restaurant or just have a salty meal, she sometimes has to take her rings off, since they get pretty tight.

    7nUkagJ.png
    SteamID:Icemopper PSN:Icemopper
  • ATIRageATIRage Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    To be more on point with my post: I have a band that I wear at times (My SO and I have been together for a long time but we won't get married, but we have rings). My ring was sized for my finger, but then I lost weight and the ring slips off at times. You don't want that situation, i've nearly lost the ring several times because it came off after washing my hands in a public restroom. Now I leave my ring in the shower, where I know it will stay until I can get a better fitting ring. You don't want that :D

    You'll get used to wearing your ring, playing with it, and it will likely expand or contract depending on temperatures (my experience was that if the ring is cold you'll feel the ring being tighter, but in warmer weather the ring will be looser as the metal expands). Eventually you'll get used to it being there and you won't be consciously wondering about the ring (i've found myself playing with my ring without even realizing it because its fun to fidget with my ring).

    If you don't like the fit, it normally isn't too much of an issue to have a ring resized, the only thing is that if the writing on your ring encompasses the whole ring then a resizing will likely maim the writing on the ring.

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    mts wrote: »
    part of the fun in wearing a ring is to fidget with it.

    its a nice quiet distraction for idle hands

    I tap mine all the time, being titanium. TapTapTap-Tap....TapTapTap-Tap...TapTapTap-Tap.*

    Could be the angle of the edge as I think someone said, but yeah, I have to check now to see if it's on - usually take it off at night.

    *
    Spoiler:

    Excision wrote: »
    My girlfriend is going down tonight!

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  • PantsBPantsB Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I've been married since October and I still fiddle with it. The skin under it is definitely effected but I don't think mine is too tight. Its almost like a callus. So I'd say your experience is typical. Generally guys don't wear jewelry much so suddenly wearing a ring 24/7 is just an adjustment. I'm definitely more used to it than I was in the first few weeks and I usually don't realize I'm wearing it now.

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    Spoiler:
  • Bionic MonkeyBionic Monkey Registered User, ClubPA
    edited March 2011
    Yes, you'll get used to it. I have a similarly thick ring, and was super aware of it initially, but eventually the tissues underneath basically got squeezed out from underneath the ring, alleviating the pressure, and restoring full flexibility of that finger.

    The pale band on your finger is normal, and eventually when you take the ring off, you'll notice an obvious indentation where the ring sits. This, again, is normal, and if for whatever reason you stop wearing the ring in the future, your finger will return to normal as well.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I agree the pale band is perfectly normal. My wedding ring is actually a half size too large and I still have a white band despite its being loose.

    If you were to ever replace your ring, or buy another ring to wear, I'd definitely recommend getting a comfort fit ring (the ones that are curved on the inside). This makes a huge difference. My wedding band was comfortable from day one, and I hardly ever take it off, whereas other, non-comfort-fit rings I own I hardly ever wear.

    sharasugar_80.png sharanomsugar_80.png
  • MidshipmanMidshipman Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Icemopper wrote: »
    And out of curiosity, what does the text say, if you don't mind my asking?

    At first I thought it was the same text as on Sauron's ring, but on closer inspection it's just the alphabet in cursive.

    midshipman.jpg
  • IcemopperIcemopper Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Midshipman wrote: »
    Icemopper wrote: »
    And out of curiosity, what does the text say, if you don't mind my asking?

    At first I thought it was the same text as on Sauron's ring, but on closer inspection it's just the alphabet in cursive.

    Ah, looks like we have a winner. I mistook the i and j for a y with an umlaut and figured it was foreign. :oops:

    7nUkagJ.png
    SteamID:Icemopper PSN:Icemopper
  • samturdosamturdo Registered User
    The pale mark is because the sun doesn't hit that part of the finger anymore. If it was because of lack of circulation the mark would be red.

  • samturdosamturdo Registered User
    If u have a ring with a stone in it it's important that it doesn't spin.

  • NosfNosf Registered User regular
    I never wore jewelry before I got married; I got a simple white gold band and it took about a month to get used to. I still pull it off now and then (do not work out with your ring on, especially if you do free weights) or when I game and get sweaty mittens.

    PROTIP: Do not take it off and put it in your SCUBA bag and lose it in there for 6 months, that's a real hassle.

This discussion has been closed.