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[Camelot]: I prefer my Medieval Sex Romps in Fantasy Settings.

KageraKagera Registered User regular
edited April 2011 in Debate and/or Discourse
Ah yes, the story of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, an illustrious tale of heroism and football.

King_Arthur_and_the_Knights_of_Justice.jpg
They have a killer O Line as well..

Wait let me try this again.

Ah yes, the story of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, an illustrious tale of heroism and hedonism.

Camelot_starz-tv-01.jpg
Dude stop squeezing my Excalibur so hard...

Starz, the bringer of such high brow fare as Spartacus: Tits and Slow Motion, is going to be premiering this new series on April 1st, which I find hilarious because who knows how they're interpretation is going to end up. The dude playing Arthur looks like a ponce, his conniving and backstabbing sister is Eva 'Fuck Me Eyes' Green, and his Merlin is none other than Henry the fucking VIII. So strap in people and get ready for Magical Tits and Blood because this shit will at LEAST be better than that fucking movie with Clive Owen.

More screencaps + trailer says I!

camelot-eva.jpg
Camelot_Starz5.jpg
guinevere.jpg

NSFW FOR SIMULATED SEX AND PARTIAL NUDITY.

Kagera on
“This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.”
“Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts."

Posts

  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I saw the preview episode after Spartacus: Gods of the Arena one week. I am considering watching it, because I'm intrigued to find out what, exactly, Morgana learned in the nunnery for all those years, but I wasn't too impressed with the plotting of the first episode. Granted, first episodes of series like this are usually a ton of set-up and often don't really deliver the goods in terms of story.

    If it doesn't impress me in a month, I'm dropping STARZ until the next season of Spartacus comes out next year.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
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  • ZeroCowZeroCow Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Here's a comparison of Camelot vs. a few other like shows that are coming to HBO and Showtime: http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/03/27/camelot-vs-game-of-thrones/

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  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I suspect I'm not the only one who, upon the first reveal of Castle Camelot, said either "It's only a model" or "It is a silly place."

    Honestly this show looks like a low-rent Game of Thrones.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
  • TastyfishTastyfish Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Is it a completely different style to Spartacus then, or a Medieval version?

  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Tastyfish wrote: »
    Is it a completely different style to Spartacus then, or a Medieval version?

    It's nowhere near as slick as Spartacus. I got some Hercules: The Legendary Journies vibes from the set construction. Since the magic has been subtle so far, there's not been much I can say in the way of FX criticisms, though.

    No blood splooge on the camera, though, if that's what you're asking.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
  • Captain TragedyCaptain Tragedy Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    It's by the the same guy who did The Tudors on Showtime (and he's also an Executive Producer on The Borgias on Showtime, which also looks very similar to The Tudors), so I assume it's mostly going to be similar to that (intrigue and soap opera-ness in a medieval setting with a semi-regular helping of European boobs).

    Anything that brings more Eva Green nudity to the screen can't be all bad, though.

  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Anything that brings more Eva Green nudity to the screen can't be all bad, though.

    This, I will admit to.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
  • TastyfishTastyfish Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Tastyfish wrote: »
    Is it a completely different style to Spartacus then, or a Medieval version?

    It's nowhere near as slick as Spartacus. I got some Hercules: The Legendary Journies vibes from the set construction. Since the magic has been subtle so far, there's not been much I can say in the way of FX criticisms, though.

    No blood splooge on the camera, though, if that's what you're asking.

    I was thinking more the wierd (ly arousing) combination of almost classical theatrical dialogue combined with the delicate sensibilities of the urban dictionary, all wrapped up in blood soaked copies of 300.

    It's definitely set out to do it's own thing then, rather than being "Medieval Sparticus".


    Not that either's a bad thing, a fantasy version of the Tudors sounds like it could be interesting though perhaps I need to watch more than one episode of the Tudors (seemed good, but our free FX subscription ran out). I do suspect it's going to suffer hard for not being Game of Thrones, but then I'm often wrong and perhaps it can glide on the wake of an interest in non-comic fantasy drama.

    And then more importantly establish the cliches that CSI Anhk Morpork can then deconstruct.

  • Witch_Hunter_84Witch_Hunter_84 Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I was able to track down the preview pilot episode online and I have to say I'm intruiged. The show is very much simply trying to do its own thing in this Arthurian retelling, and I like the fact that the magic is toned down a bit so it can be more of a character-driven drama rather than an over-emphasis on the fantasy setting.

    But I've only seen the first epsiode and I'll be relying heavily on how the show fleshes out over the next few before I can decide if I'm going to follow the show. Eva Green helps though, it definately isn't a detractor in any way.
    Spoiler:

    If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten in your presence.
  • smeejsmeej Registered User
    edited April 2011
    ZeroCow wrote: »
    Here's a comparison of Camelot vs. a few other like shows that are coming to HBO and Showtime: http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/03/27/camelot-vs-game-of-thrones/
    Never even heard of Borgias. It sounds exactly like what I want, oddly enough.

    I imagine Game of Thrones will be the best, but I go where Eva Green goes.

    IT'S A SAD THING THAT YOUR ADVENTURES HAVE ENDED HERE!!
  • SkySky Registered User
    edited April 2011
    Kagera, Thanks for posting that cartoon screen shot.

    "Starz, the bringer of such high brow fare as Spartacus: Tits and Slow Motion," < LOL

    I am also interested in seeing what Eva Green can do in a tv show. The movies only show some of her talents, so I do want to see what she can do with some range available to her.

    I am curious how high the body count will get on this show....

    Whoa! James Purefoy is in it. Sweet! I dig him.

    Oh, and Daragh O'Malley, from the Sharpe's series. He's a good actor, too.

    Not a bad cast, but the lead seems... a bit green.

    Sky
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  • CantidoCantido Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I suspect I'm not the only one who, upon the first reveal of Castle Camelot, said either "It's only a model" or "It is a silly place."

    Honestly this show looks like a low-rent Game of Thrones.

    LEGO Camelot!

    EDIT = Oh wow, Eva's eyes are exceptionally Fuck Me.

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  • BobCescaBobCesca Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Joseph Fiennes is in this which meant that I had to watch the first episode. It was ok, I guess. Kind of Tudors/Spartacus thing and the guy playing Arthur so far does not impress. But I'll probably keep watching it.

  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    BobCesca wrote: »
    Joseph Fiennes is in this which meant that I had to watch the first episode. It was ok, I guess. Kind of Tudors/Spartacus thing and the guy playing Arthur so far does not impress. But I'll probably keep watching it.

    Yeah, I just can't tell if the Arthur actor's vacant prettyboy thing is just indicative of who the character is when he's tapped by Merlin, or if it's how he's going to be through the whole show.

    I mean, if he grows into a badass, then that's pretty awesome. If he continues to just be pretty and cute, then that's going to be fairly jarring.

    Anyway, Eva Green weighs as much as, like, a duck.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
  • TheBigEasyTheBigEasy Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Wow ... this is just bad. Just saw the first episode and ... it is just bad.

    Joseph Fiennes does the same overacting he did in Flash Forward, I don't care one bit about Arthur (just want to smack him up the head repeatedly) and even Eva Green is underwhelming.

    I'd rather wait for Game of Thrones.

  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Really? I had such high hopes for this.

    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • Witch_Hunter_84Witch_Hunter_84 Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    TheBigEasy wrote: »
    and even Eva Green is underwhelming.

    Lies
    Spoiler:

    If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten in your presence.
  • emp123emp123 Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I was planning on giving this show a fair run by watching the episodes on Netflix, but since Starz is now putting a 6 month (week? I forget) delay between Starz airing stuff and Netflix getting stuff I probably wont be watching this at all.

    Sorry Starz, better luck next round.

    camo_sig2.png
  • TomantaTomanta Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    emp123 wrote: »
    I was planning on giving this show a fair run by watching the episodes on Netflix, but since Starz is now putting a 6 month (week? I forget) delay between Starz airing stuff and Netflix getting stuff I probably wont be watching this at all.

    Sorry Starz, better luck next round.

    90 day wait.

    camo_sig2.png
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Tomanta wrote: »
    emp123 wrote: »
    I was planning on giving this show a fair run by watching the episodes on Netflix, but since Starz is now putting a 6 month (week? I forget) delay between Starz airing stuff and Netflix getting stuff I probably wont be watching this at all.

    Sorry Starz, better luck next round.

    90 day wait.

    Damn f'real? I thought they had some weird sweetheart deal. I see the stuff Premiering on Starz on Netflix days before.

    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • Witch_Hunter_84Witch_Hunter_84 Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Gods of the Arena was on Netflix like the day after, wasn't it? Bollucks!!

    If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten in your presence.
  • emp123emp123 Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Yeah, Starz has jumped on the "we want more monies Netflix" bandwagon. It sucks, and I think it will probably end poorly for both the content providers and for Netflix, but theres little subscribers can do about it. I know Showtime is pissy and making Netflix wait longer because Netflix outbid it for a show. Its shitty, and content providers are freaking out since they once again undervalued a new distribution method and are now trying to recoup their perceived losses.

    camo_sig2.png
  • Gaming-FreakGaming-Freak Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Sorry, but every time I think of "King Arthur" and "Camelot" stories, it always comes back to the "He totally did his sister" bit.

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  • DragonPupDragonPup Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Well, complaints about the Starz/Netflix tussle aside, I really liked the first episode. Well, double episode, technically. I thought Joseph Fiennes was very well cast as Merlin. I reserve judgement on Arthur's actor since the show is about him going from country boy to king so it is hard to gauge him so early on.

    Speaking of Merlin, very interesting implications. Namely that
    Spoiler:

    If nothing else, Merlin is very calculating and certainly knows the importance of appearances.

    Plus, Eva Green... meow.l

    "I was there, I was there, the day Horus slew the Emperor." -Cpt Garviel Loken

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  • KageraKagera Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Sorry, but every time I think of "King Arthur" and "Camelot" stories, it always comes back to the "He totally did his sister" bit.

    If my sister was a 35 year old Helen Mirren I'd do the fuck out of her too.

    “This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.”
    “Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts."
  • Gaming-FreakGaming-Freak Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Kagera wrote: »
    Sorry, but every time I think of "King Arthur" and "Camelot" stories, it always comes back to the "He totally did his sister" bit.

    If my sister was a 35 year old Helen Mirren I'd do the fuck out of her too.

    And suffer the wrath of stares, gossip, Merlin's face-palming, and a future evil son that'll eventually and quite literally be the death of you? You sir, are brave.

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  • DragonPupDragonPup Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Starz is streaming the first episode online here: http://www.starz.com/Originals/Camelot/ScreeningRoom#/episode-1/

    "I was there, I was there, the day Horus slew the Emperor." -Cpt Garviel Loken

    Currently painting: Slowly [flickr]
  • themightypuckthemightypuck MontanaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Kagera wrote: »
    Sorry, but every time I think of "King Arthur" and "Camelot" stories, it always comes back to the "He totally did his sister" bit.

    If my sister was a 35 year old Helen Mirren I'd do the fuck out of her too.

    Now that was a good telling of the story. Nicol Williamson really nailed Merlin. I'll probably watch the latest iteration because I've watched pretty much all of them. And there are a lot of them.

    “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
    ― Marcus Aurelius
  • ArbitraryDescriptorArbitraryDescriptor Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Tomanta wrote: »
    emp123 wrote: »
    I was planning on giving this show a fair run by watching the episodes on Netflix, but since Starz is now putting a 6 month (week? I forget) delay between Starz airing stuff and Netflix getting stuff I probably wont be watching this at all.

    Sorry Starz, better luck next round.

    90 day wait.

    I'm not sure how me not watching Starz's show, while paying Netflix 3 months worth of subscription anyway, is going to teach Netflix a lesson about being nicer to Starz.

    Either way, I guess I'll be reading this thread in 90 days.

    Automata-Sg.png
  • emp123emp123 Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Tomanta wrote: »
    emp123 wrote: »
    I was planning on giving this show a fair run by watching the episodes on Netflix, but since Starz is now putting a 6 month (week? I forget) delay between Starz airing stuff and Netflix getting stuff I probably wont be watching this at all.

    Sorry Starz, better luck next round.

    90 day wait.

    I'm not sure how me not watching Starz's show, while paying Netflix 3 months worth of subscription anyway, is going to teach Netflix a lesson about being nicer to Starz.

    Either way, I guess I'll be reading this thread in 90 days.

    Oh, I dont care about Netflix being nicer to Starz (or vice versa), but if Starz wants me to watch its show its going to have to be on Netflix seeing as I cant justify subscribing to Starz for one or two shows Im mildly interested in. Party Down may have been worth it, but Spartacus and this show? Eh.

    camo_sig2.png
  • Kipling217Kipling217 Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Borgias is better. I am all for seeing Eva Green in the alltogether, but having to sit through 40 minutes of watching blond twit pretending to be Arthur is too much.

    Jeremy Irons as Rodrigo Borgia on the other hand is totally worth it.

    Also Morgana Le Fay is Arthur's halfsister through their mother. She was never Uther's daughter. Ticks me off that they tried to change that.

    Communicating from the last of the Babylon Stations.
  • override367override367 Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I'm willing to give this a chance. I found Spartacus to be someone I couldn't stand for most of that series either, but it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable series in recent memory.

    Even at its worst its better than most of what's on television, and I already have the movie channels because of the blood covenant that I forged with Charter

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  • ArbitraryDescriptorArbitraryDescriptor Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    emp123 wrote: »
    Tomanta wrote: »
    emp123 wrote: »
    I was planning on giving this show a fair run by watching the episodes on Netflix, but since Starz is now putting a 6 month (week? I forget) delay between Starz airing stuff and Netflix getting stuff I probably wont be watching this at all.

    Sorry Starz, better luck next round.

    90 day wait.

    I'm not sure how me not watching Starz's show, while paying Netflix 3 months worth of subscription anyway, is going to teach Netflix a lesson about being nicer to Starz.

    Either way, I guess I'll be reading this thread in 90 days.

    Oh, I dont care about Netflix being nicer to Starz (or vice versa), but if Starz wants me to watch its show its going to have to be on Netflix seeing as I cant justify subscribing to Starz for one or two shows Im mildly interested in. Party Down may have been worth it, but Spartacus and this show? Eh.
    I was just questioning Starz's motives, not yours. Regarding which, I hadn't realized that they were streaming the show on their website; which makes their decision make a little more sense.

    Only one episode, though. Casting is great for everyone but Arthur. James Purefoy as Lot? Hell yeah.

    But seriously, who signed off on Arthur? Maybe he'll look more the part with a beard.

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  • KageraKagera Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Kagera wrote: »
    Sorry, but every time I think of "King Arthur" and "Camelot" stories, it always comes back to the "He totally did his sister" bit.

    If my sister was a 35 year old Helen Mirren I'd do the fuck out of her too.

    And suffer the wrath of stares, gossip, Merlin's face-palming, and a future evil son that'll eventually and quite literally be the death of you? You sir, are brave.

    "Dude. HAVE YOU SEEN DEM TITTIES?"

    I mean uh...she used magic....yeah... >.>

    Anyway I kinda thought it was okay. Bieber hair man looked Bieber-y till I remembered oh shit Romans used to have that hairstyle.

    Eva Green was pretty damn awesome I thought. Vile and scornful and brilliant

    “This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.”
    “Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts."
  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Kagera wrote: »
    Eva Green was pretty damn awesome I thought. Vile and scornful and brilliant

    Right now, Eva is pretty much the only thing keeping me interested. Her character has this great [strike]rack[/strike] alien-seeming intelligence, and she's set up as more of an intellectual rival rather than a martial foe.

    In addition, Merlin and Ygraine are much more interesting when she's around.

    Really don't care much for the Guinevere plot or their vine-covered castle.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
  • KageraKagera Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Arthur's penultimate speech was an eyeroller.

    "As your king I promise my rule will be for you the people!"

    Like, I guess it's supposed to be inspiring for a bunch of medieval peasants who haven't heard of democracy before but I guess when you go from a reign that meant you could marry the woman you raped (lols no wait Ygraine saw Uther's face for half a sec and still went with it so it's all good) anything it better.

    Seriously though if Ygraine starts hitting on Merlin or something I'm gonna flip a round table.

    “This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.”
    “Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts."
  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Kagera wrote: »
    Arthur's penultimate speech was an eyeroller.

    "As your king I promise my rule will be for you the people!"

    Like, I guess it's supposed to be inspiring for a bunch of medieval peasants who haven't heard of democracy before but I guess when you go from a reign that meant you could marry the woman you raped (lols no wait Ygraine saw Uther's face for half a sec and still went with it so it's all good) anything it better.

    Seriously though if Ygraine starts hitting on Merlin or something I'm gonna flip a round table.

    Er, have you seen the "spoilers for later in the season" thing they did at the end of the premere?

    But yeah, I kept thinking "OH BAM AH! OH BAM AH! OH BAM AH!" during the speech. It was kinda hilarious.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
  • Kate of LokysKate of Lokys Registered User
    edited April 2011
    Pixels and I watched the first two episodes last night because we were bored and there was nothing else on, and oh Christ it was awful.

    There are, to my mind, two acceptable ways to treat the King Arthur story. On the one hand, you can take a realistic approach to it, treating him as a historical figure the way Rosemary Sutcliff does in Sword at Sunset, as described in her introduction to that work:
    Spoiler:

    So, that is one approach: Arthur as a 5th or 6th century warleader of mixed Roman and Celtic blood, fighting to defend the crumbling remains of Roman civilization in Britain after the withdrawal of the Legions, holding off the invading Saxons long enough for his name to be remembered.

    The other approach, of course, is the Malory, the high medieval fantasy of giant-slaying and Grail-seeking and jousting, and also T.H. White's Sword in the Stone, that "glorious dream of the Middle Ages as they never were, but should have been." Not at all historical, this, but a magnificent work of fiction and mythology, in which Arthur is made king by destiny and magic with the aid of the wizard Merlin, and assembles a Round Table of knights who ride around saving maidens for chivalry and Christ.

    Camelot is basically a hopelessly confused mess of a show that tries to incorporate elements from these two very different presentations of Arthur, and ends up just shitting all over both of them. It looked like it was going for the more realistic approach: the armor was leather and chainmail, not Gothic plate; the hill-fort of Uther and the fortified farmstead of Ector were appropriately rustic; the general level of technology seemed fairly low (ie, sheepskin hides thrown over a horse's back instead of a rigid leather saddle).

    Then they ride up to a fucking medieval castle, and claim "lol it's an old Roman ruin." The Romans didn't build bloodyfucking castles. They built square walled forts, of varying degrees of size and permanence, but they didn't go in for spire turrets and fifty-foot walls and three-storey vaulted cathedral ceilings.

    Really, everything about it was just sloppy and awful. Merlin spends fifteen minutes ranting about improving their defenses and protecting the king at all costs, then on coronation night, nobody thinks to check the happy peasants for weapons when they come in? Nobody thought it was a little odd that people were bringing shields and spears and swords in to a celebration? Nobody figured that it might be a good idea to, I don't know, keep a guard posted by the front gate? There's a reason why hosts required guests to leave their weapons at the door back then.

    Why are the traditional legendary names used for most of the characters - Guinevere, Merlin, King Lot of Orkney, Gawain - but Lancelot is turned into fucking Leontes? Did they just think it sounded cooler, or what?

    Why hasn't anyone, in hundreds of years, thought to maybe approach the Sword of the Gods (lol) from *above* it, rather than climbing up a goddamned waterfall? Seriously, get on a damned horse, ride a few miles off to the side where the slope lessens, get up on the ridge, ride along it to the river, pick up the sword.

    Why was Kay appointed Marshall of England when England didn't even exist as a concept at the time? Saxons were invading and occupying the east, the Picts were pushing down south from the Wall, the west was held by only slightly Romanized Celtic tribes, and while the center of the island was still predominantly Romano-British, once Rome pulled out it pretty much dissolved into petty kingdoms.

    For that matter, who's the enemy here? The Saxons and Picts haven't even been mentioned, and the only conflict going on seems to be between Arthur and his sister. Who, exactly, do the people need to be protected from? Why does "England" need a gleaming blond postmodern democratic king, exactly?

    Why does Merlin wear a goddamned cable-knit sweater coat and boots with metal eyelets, when neither of those things existed in Britain until centuries after the Norman Conquest? How does Morgan manage to buy clothes from Hot Topic?

    Why is Ulfius a black dude?

    I'm not completely incapable of suspending my disbelief: I loved Gladiator, even though it had plenty of historical inaccuracies, and I'm cool with the idealized, non-historical fantasy of medieval presentations of Arthur. (Though I will always love Artos the Bear the most). But when Pixels and I watched Camelot, we both kept up a running commentary about how fucking ridiculous all of it was. (Pixels: "Hey Morgan, you should show the wolf your tits, then he'll help you." One minute later: "Oh, come on. Really? I was kidding.")

    If we end up watching more of it, it will be purely to make fun of it.

    I'm here to tell you about voting. Imagine you're locked in a huge underground nightclub filled with sinners, whores, freaks and unnameable things that rape pit bulls for fun. And you ain't allowed out until you all vote on what you're going to do tonight [. . .] So you vote for television, and everyone else, as far as your eye can see, votes to fuck you with switchblades. That's voting. You're welcome.
  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I thought the episode "Guinevere" was really terrible. I honestly could not care less about the Arthur/Guinevere thing (he's a cock on two legs and she's an idiot) and, again, the only thing worth watching was the parts with Morgan, because at least there's some mystery there in what her actual plan is.

    The bandit attack on Guinevere's home was pretty inexplicable, too. Like, they're stealing everything, but they just let the residents ride away on expensive horses? They aren't going to bother to ransom the bride-to-be of the king's champion? Why didn't Arthur decide to take a stand against banditry and ride out against the tiny force of scumbags? Oh, right, he was too busy trying to figure out how to shag Guinevere and make face-time with his obviously evil half-sister.

    Gary Gygax wrote:
    ''The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.''
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