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Mass Effect: I get it, you hate Belarus

PharezonPharezon Struggle is an illusion.Victory is in the Qun.Registered User regular
edited June 2011 in Singularity Engine++
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takyris wrote: »
Shabooty wrote: »
taky, paragon needs more veiled threats

"Tali, great news! You'll never guess what I did today! I found a new homeworld for the drell! Yeah, those guys were really suffering out there in the galaxy without a homeworld to call their own, and it turned out that a lot of them were having, you know, health complications as a result of having to live somewhere that wasn't really a good native environment for them. It took some work, but as soon as I found the beautiful, peaceful, completely habitable planet, I knew the drell had to have it. The only drawback is that it's got that weird amino acid chirality that the turians have, so all the food will be backward. It's okay, though. The drell are still pretty happy. And the hanar have made me an honorary paragon! I kind of thought that was a different IP, but it turns out that if they love you enough, they do it, too!"


"Man, Tali, today was the worst. You remember how I didn't kill the rachni queen? Well, she was back, all ready to lay about a zillion eggs and help fight the Reapers, but she didn't have a homeworld, so I had to go fight on this planet that had been totally overrun by Loki mechs. I'm pretty sure the ol' omni-tool is all worn out from overloading synthetics all day, but the rachni finally have a homeworld of their own. It doesn't have the climate the rachni prefer -- it's constantly sunny, about 75 F during the day, gorgeous sunsets, oh, and the weirdest thing is that it's completely hypoallergenic, no bacteria or harmful irritants at all. I know, right? Who makes a planet like that? I dunno if the Lokis killed everything or what, but man, the thought of killing that many robots just to help somebody get a homeworld... whodathunk?"


"Hey, T-Zor! How's it going? You're never gonna guess who was on the phone? WREAV. Man, I don't even like the krogs much, and after putting down Wrex on Virmire, I thought they'd never be my friends again, but it turns out that if I get them a homeworld, they can leave their horribly irradiated home planet, and they'll totally be my friends! I have no idea why I'd want psychotic box turtles with shotguns for friends, but maybe they'll come in handy. So I was thinking, right, and stop me if this sounds crazy. You remember how you guys lost your homeworld to the geth? What if I blew up all the geth and then let the krogan move in? They'd be my bros and stuff, and maybe you guys could tell them where the best places to grow food are and stuff, since you used to live there and all. Hey, Tali McNally, that shotgun is for missions only, girlfriend. You shouldn't point that thing at people, even as a joke--"


Pharezon on


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