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[Internet Dating] 'It built character.' - But only after you get them dates!!

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Posts

  • Fallout2manFallout2man Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Was this the first time you've met?

    You should just go to kiss her. That is what you want to do. If she turns her face or says no, shrug and move on. There is no point in not doing this very simple thing to determine if she's interested.

    Every time in my past that I've ever wondered if I should kiss a girl the answer was yes. Not to random strangers, but to people you know where you sense sexual tension/are on a date. Most of the time I didn't, but the times I did were all cool even if they said no and that answered that.

    It was the first time we met in person, yup. Sounds like I wasted a golden opportunity then, damn. I just tend to be a bit cautious when it comes to making the very first move. (I also didn't want any sort of first kiss to be made by a half-asleep me either :p) Oh well, it's not the last time we're meeting. So I guess we'll see if anything similar happens next time.

    On Ignorance:
    Kana wrote:
    If the best you can come up with against someone who's patently ignorant is to yell back at him, "Yeah? Well there's BOOKS, and they say you're WRONG!"

    Then honestly you're not coming out of this looking great either.
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Two lessons I've learned from online dating sites thus far:

    1) "There's a lot of fantastic women in the world!

    2) ...none of whom will respond to your messages!"

    2b) ...none of whom live near you!"

    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Yeah, well, that too.

    PEUsig_zps56da03ec.jpg
  • samurai6966samurai6966 Registered User
    edited May 2011
    forty wrote: »
    Two lessons I've learned from online dating sites thus far:

    1) "There's a lot of fantastic women in the world!

    2) ...none of whom will respond to your messages!"

    2b) ...none of whom live near you!"

    3) and none that have been online in a while.

    Echo wrote: »
    Yeah, some times I just want to get my farm in shape without being bothered by green explosive dildos.
  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle and you're not happy, but you're funny and I'm tripping over my joyRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Was this the first time you've met?

    You should just go to kiss her. That is what you want to do. If she turns her face or says no, shrug and move on. There is no point in not doing this very simple thing to determine if she's interested.

    Every time in my past that I've ever wondered if I should kiss a girl the answer was yes. Not to random strangers, but to people you know where you sense sexual tension/are on a date. Most of the time I didn't, but the times I did were all cool even if they said no and that answered that.

    It was the first time we met in person, yup. Sounds like I wasted a golden opportunity then, damn. I just tend to be a bit cautious when it comes to making the very first move. (I also didn't want any sort of first kiss to be made by a half-asleep me either :p) Oh well, it's not the last time we're meeting. So I guess we'll see if anything similar happens next time.

    Why were you just doing her a weird favor? Go on a real date. Both of these things show a lack of confidence.

    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Hmm, okay. First message didn't go anywhere, but a girl (ostensibly looking for just friends, but I do need that too) sent me a short and cute message, and a guy replied to one I sent on a whim tonight... at length. So that's nice for the ol' lack of confidence. :)

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • LearnedHandLearnedHand Registered User, __BANNED USERS
    edited May 2011
    Well, turns out I was wrong and the guy I thought was the Neon haired girl's BF turns out to not be and I ended up finally meeting her in person yesterday. On one hand there was a stated purpose for the meeting, in that I was helping her with some technical problems, although I was there for a while, we even went and got food, talked a lot, the thing that stood out though was that during the encounter she seemed to be touching me a lot.

    She'd need to adjust or look for something since she had a lot of cables to various devices, and we were in a bit of a small room. But not too small that it wasn't easily possible for me to get out of her way. When I asked the very first time she said she'd "tell me if I was in the way" which would imply I didn't need to generally move otherwise I'd think. There was nothing overt but I thought it was strange she would say that and then be reaching her hands over/across me, and a couple of times brush/press against me a bit while looking for something nonchalantly.

    When I left, I gave her a hug and afterwards there was this brief pause and we were facing each other momentarily. I was (and still am, haven't slept in a whiiiiiile x_x;;) tired and didn't know whether to construe the earlier as a sign she might be giving me a signal to advance, so I didn't end up going any further.

    What says the thread? Do you think her acting like randomly touching me and acting like it's no big deal means anything or is it probably just me being tired and reading too much into it?

    What on earth is this? I didn't see the previous message that you refer to. You arranged a "date" where you did IT work for her? What...I mean...I have no idea what the circumstances are here. Please provide more information.

    This reminds me of a barber I had who used to sometimes brush her breasts against me as she was cutting. Maybe I should have made a move.

    Spoiler:
  • Fallout2manFallout2man Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Well, turns out I was wrong and the guy I thought was the Neon haired girl's BF turns out to not be and I ended up finally meeting her in person yesterday. On one hand there was a stated purpose for the meeting, in that I was helping her with some technical problems, although I was there for a while, we even went and got food, talked a lot, the thing that stood out though was that during the encounter she seemed to be touching me a lot.

    She'd need to adjust or look for something since she had a lot of cables to various devices, and we were in a bit of a small room. But not too small that it wasn't easily possible for me to get out of her way. When I asked the very first time she said she'd "tell me if I was in the way" which would imply I didn't need to generally move otherwise I'd think. There was nothing overt but I thought it was strange she would say that and then be reaching her hands over/across me, and a couple of times brush/press against me a bit while looking for something nonchalantly.

    When I left, I gave her a hug and afterwards there was this brief pause and we were facing each other momentarily. I was (and still am, haven't slept in a whiiiiiile x_x;;) tired and didn't know whether to construe the earlier as a sign she might be giving me a signal to advance, so I didn't end up going any further.

    What says the thread? Do you think her acting like randomly touching me and acting like it's no big deal means anything or is it probably just me being tired and reading too much into it?

    What on earth is this? I didn't see the previous message that you refer to. You arranged a "date" where you did IT work for her? What...I mean...I have no idea what the circumstances are here. Please provide more information.

    This reminds me of a barber I had who used to sometimes brush her breasts against me as she was cutting. Maybe I should have made a move.

    Probably ought to explain the whole story from the beginning then. There was this girl and despite being very far away (well, not in my opinion but she's in LA and I'm in the northmost part of San Diego county) for some reason after going over her OKC profile she jumped out at me and I felt like I had to try pursuing her. Tried to arrange some kind of a date/meetup but she said she wasn't interested because of the distance.

    I spent the next 1-2 months finding ways to keep talking to her online a bit here and there and thought she had ended up with a boyfriend. (which I later found out was not the case) I still continued talking to her off/on, and then recently she mentioned having some really bad problems with her computer and nobody she knew seemed to be able to help her so I took that as an opportunity to finally meet her in person since my previous attempt had been shot down a few months back.

    It wasn't just me fixing her computer, we also got a little dinner, and later donuts during the whole thing (I was there for a little while.) Normally I wouldn't think very much of it but because of how I regard touch (I avoid touching anyone for any reason unless I am sure they want me specifically touching them) it made me wonder if that meant anything or if I was just tired and reading too much into it.

    On Ignorance:
    Kana wrote:
    If the best you can come up with against someone who's patently ignorant is to yell back at him, "Yeah? Well there's BOOKS, and they say you're WRONG!"

    Then honestly you're not coming out of this looking great either.
  • GodfatherGodfather Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I found out an embarrassing secret today:
    Spoiler:

    0WBv0.png
  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Stealth "my dick = huge" post?

    PEUsig_zps56da03ec.jpg
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Stealth "my dick = huge" post?

    <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" /> Hey, if you can't brag to random strangers on a gamer forum, who can you brag to?

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • ThePantsAssociationThePantsAssociation Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I found out an embarrassing secret today:

    I'm a master of karate and I date supermodels.

    Don't tell anyone! It's so embarrassing!

    0877-0816-4178 Nintendo 3DS with me!
  • CervetusCervetus Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I have an embarrassing secret! My parents never loved me and always preferred my siblings.

    m i doin it rite?

    On an on-topic note, if a girl starts messaging me is the onus on her to ask for a meetup or is it expected of me as the entesticled one to do it? Obviously if I'm interested I should just go for it, but I'm wondering what's normal.

    The libertarian response to anything is, "Sure, that works fine in practice, but it doesn't fly in theory."
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Fighting the War on String Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    blatant "my dick = huge" post?

    there we go

    75trafim7bi2.png
  • So It GoesSo It Goes Do I have something on my face?Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Godfather wrote: »
    I found out an embarrassing secret today:
    Spoiler:

    I've had to tell two guys to do this

    they both expressed the same "I just thought that condoms were terrible" sentiment and were quite happy to find it didn't have to be that way

    NOPE.
  • SuperbassSuperbass Registered User
    edited May 2011
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Godfather wrote: »
    I found out an embarrassing secret today:
    Spoiler:

    I've had to tell two guys to do this

    they both expressed the same "I just thought that condoms were terrible" sentiment and were quite happy to find it didn't have to be that way

    stealth "I bone dudes with huge dicks" post?

  • SuperbassSuperbass Registered User
    edited May 2011
    But seriously condoms are awful.

  • MyDcmbrMyDcmbr Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Superbass wrote: »
    But seriously condoms are awful.

    Stealth "I have an STD" post?

    Steam
    So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Cervetus wrote: »
    I have an embarrassing secret! My parents never loved me and always preferred my siblings.

    m i doin it rite?

    On an on-topic note, if a girl starts messaging me is the onus on her to ask for a meetup or is it expected of me as the entesticled one to do it? Obviously if I'm interested I should just go for it, but I'm wondering what's normal.

    I personally would say yes, it's on you. But not in a "you're a dude" sense so much as the order of messaging indicated. Her messaging you first (how I'm reading this, anyway) means she's interested in you, but she might not be sure if you're interested back or just replying to be polite, etc.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • DeaderinredDeaderinred Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Well, turns out I was wrong and the guy I thought was the Neon haired girl's BF turns out to not be and I ended up finally meeting her in person yesterday. On one hand there was a stated purpose for the meeting, in that I was helping her with some technical problems, although I was there for a while, we even went and got food, talked a lot, the thing that stood out though was that during the encounter she seemed to be touching me a lot.

    She'd need to adjust or look for something since she had a lot of cables to various devices, and we were in a bit of a small room. But not too small that it wasn't easily possible for me to get out of her way. When I asked the very first time she said she'd "tell me if I was in the way" which would imply I didn't need to generally move otherwise I'd think. There was nothing overt but I thought it was strange she would say that and then be reaching her hands over/across me, and a couple of times brush/press against me a bit while looking for something nonchalantly.

    When I left, I gave her a hug and afterwards there was this brief pause and we were facing each other momentarily. I was (and still am, haven't slept in a whiiiiiile x_x;;) tired and didn't know whether to construe the earlier as a sign she might be giving me a signal to advance, so I didn't end up going any further.

    What says the thread? Do you think her acting like randomly touching me and acting like it's no big deal means anything or is it probably just me being tired and reading too much into it?

    What on earth is this? I didn't see the previous message that you refer to. You arranged a "date" where you did IT work for her? What...I mean...I have no idea what the circumstances are here. Please provide more information.

    This reminds me of a barber I had who used to sometimes brush her breasts against me as she was cutting. Maybe I should have made a move.

    Probably ought to explain the whole story from the beginning then. There was this girl and despite being very far away (well, not in my opinion but she's in LA and I'm in the northmost part of San Diego county) for some reason after going over her OKC profile she jumped out at me and I felt like I had to try pursuing her. Tried to arrange some kind of a date/meetup but she said she wasn't interested because of the distance.

    I spent the next 1-2 months finding ways to keep talking to her online a bit here and there and thought she had ended up with a boyfriend. (which I later found out was not the case) I still continued talking to her off/on, and then recently she mentioned having some really bad problems with her computer and nobody she knew seemed to be able to help her so I took that as an opportunity to finally meet her in person since my previous attempt had been shot down a few months back.

    It wasn't just me fixing her computer, we also got a little dinner, and later donuts during the whole thing (I was there for a little while.) Normally I wouldn't think very much of it but because of how I regard touch (I avoid touching anyone for any reason unless I am sure they want me specifically touching them) it made me wonder if that meant anything or if I was just tired and reading too much into it.

    the way you explained it here sounds like you don't know what "not interested" means and she really needed her computer fixed.

  • SuperbassSuperbass Registered User
    edited May 2011
    MyDcmbr wrote: »
    Superbass wrote: »
    But seriously condoms are awful.

    Stealth "I have an STD" post?

    Actually stealth "I got baby mamas in multiple ZIP codes" post

  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Fighting the War on String Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    oh condoms are awful for sure

    unwrapping
    application of lubricant
    possibly losing the boner
    oh shit you put it on backwards
    ohgodohgod what if it breaks

    don't get me wrong condoms are the most amazing invention in the world but damn if they're unsexy

    75trafim7bi2.png
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    oh condoms are awful for sure

    unwrapping
    application of lubricant
    possibly losing the boner
    oh shit you put it on backwards
    ohgodohgod what if it breaks

    don't get me wrong condoms are the most amazing invention in the world but damn if they're unsexy

    You know what's super unsexy? Babies and or STIs

    WRAP IT UP

    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • kaliyamakaliyama Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Malkor wrote: »
    oh condoms are awful for sure

    unwrapping
    application of lubricant
    possibly losing the boner
    oh shit you put it on backwards
    ohgodohgod what if it breaks

    don't get me wrong condoms are the most amazing invention in the world but damn if they're unsexy

    You know what's super unsexy? Babies and or STIs

    WRAP IT UP

    False dichotomy: just get texted.

    fwKS7.png?1
  • CorvusCorvus Caw? VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    riz wrote: »
    Cervetus wrote: »
    I have an embarrassing secret! My parents never loved me and always preferred my siblings.

    m i doin it rite?

    On an on-topic note, if a girl starts messaging me is the onus on her to ask for a meetup or is it expected of me as the entesticled one to do it? Obviously if I'm interested I should just go for it, but I'm wondering what's normal.

    I personally would say yes, it's on you. But not in a "you're a dude" sense so much as the order of messaging indicated. Her messaging you first (how I'm reading this, anyway) means she's interested in you, but she might not be sure if you're interested back or just replying to be polite, etc.

    I had women who initiated the conversation ask me out first, it sort of goes 50/50. But really, there is no "onus" I think, rules and expectations are silly, if one person wants to ask the other one to meet, they need to just do it.

  • SuperbassSuperbass Registered User
    edited May 2011
    Malkor wrote: »

    You know what's super unsexy? Babies and or STIs

    WRAP IT UP

    You can acknowledge that condoms are important and necessary while still also being honest about how fucking bad they suck

    because they suck real bad


    Although I will say that those Trojan Ecstasy condoms are actually pretty good. Closest thing I've ever experienced to not noticing I was wearing a condom.

    stupid-sexy-flanders1.jpg

  • DeaderinredDeaderinred Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    you can still get std's with them on, not the serious ones though, just the ugly ones.

    no its not a stealth post.

  • BagginsesBagginses __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2011
    Corvus wrote: »
    riz wrote: »
    Cervetus wrote: »
    I have an embarrassing secret! My parents never loved me and always preferred my siblings.

    m i doin it rite?

    On an on-topic note, if a girl starts messaging me is the onus on her to ask for a meetup or is it expected of me as the entesticled one to do it? Obviously if I'm interested I should just go for it, but I'm wondering what's normal.

    I personally would say yes, it's on you. But not in a "you're a dude" sense so much as the order of messaging indicated. Her messaging you first (how I'm reading this, anyway) means she's interested in you, but she might not be sure if you're interested back or just replying to be polite, etc.

    I had women who initiated the conversation ask me out first, it sort of goes 50/50. But really, there is no "onus" I think, rules and expectations are silly, if one person wants to ask the other one to meet, they need to just do it.

    You must let her see the fire in your eyes. Words come later, it is the scent that first speaks of love. Women roar, then they hurl heavy objects and claw at you. You read poetry, and duck a lot.

  • ArgiveArgive Registered User
    edited May 2011
    PRO TIP: Putting in your profile "I don't date outside my ethnicity" is a MASSIVE turn off, even if you happen to be white like me.

  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Same here, but in fairness there's the possibility she just has a really bigoted family or location and doesn't want to clash with them. It may not be representative of her actual views re:race+ethnicity.

    PEUsig_zps56da03ec.jpg
  • SuperbassSuperbass Registered User
    edited May 2011
    Same here, but in fairness there's the possibility she just has a really bigoted family or location and doesn't want to clash with them. It may not be representative of her actual views re:race+ethnicity.

    I feel like that's not much of an excuse.

    "Oh my family is just super racist and I let their bigotry determine my actions."

    Like, it's a couple steps up from horrible to awful.

  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I'm not sure that's what I was saying. Actually, I'm absolutely certain it isn't.

    Look, people break up/don't get together for different reasons. Sometimes it's an actual matter of, "I don't like you" or whatever. Other times, though, it's simply a matter of, "A relationship with you would be too difficult for me at this time, so no."

    For a less controversial example, consider long-distance relationships. Can they work? Yeah, sure. Do some people avoid them because of the difficulty? Absolutely. Does that make them terrible people? Not in the slightest.

    I'm not defending racism or racists. I am, however, defending the people who have to deal with them on an everyday basis.

    PEUsig_zps56da03ec.jpg
  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I think it's more calculated than that. If you don't date outside of your "race," then don't. Making a statement about it puts it in a different category, though.

    It's like saying "I don't date fat people" in your profile (only, obviously, worse). It's shallow and unnecessary. You can still choose to only date people of a certain height/weight, but being explicit about it just tells people "I'm a shallow person so even if you fit my criteria you should be aware that I'm shallow." I agree with Argive that even if I fit any of these "criteria" I wouldn't be interested in messaging the person.

    And, of course, that's different from statements that are clearly just preferences, rather than absolutisms.

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • Gandalf_the_CrazedGandalf_the_Crazed Vigilo ConfidoRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Agreed, it doesn't need to be stated. And as I previously stated, it's a major turn-off for me just like it is for Argive.

    PEUsig_zps56da03ec.jpg
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Fighting the War on String Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    that's a bit of a stretch. 99% of people put that in their profile because they're racists, I have a hard time imagining a family that gets put out when people don't declare their racism in dating profile

    75trafim7bi2.png
  • CorvusCorvus Caw? VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Putting any negative statements in your profile is a red flag. Whenever I saw a profile that went on about what the person didn't want, my first thought was "this is a bitter, negative person who would not be any fun at all"

  • LearnedHandLearnedHand Registered User, __BANNED USERS
    edited May 2011
    I've also seen this phenomena on a few black women's profiles where they say they're looking for white guys. It's very off-putting. I've also seen some Asian women who put in their profile that they're looking for white guys. One even said that her goal in life is to have a mixed-race baby. Good looking gal, actually but clearly not much going on upstairs.

    I've also occasionally seen black women say that they're looking for black men. And very rarely I have seen Asian women saying that they're looking for Asian men. I don't know exactly why but these things don't bother me. In fact, I find it refreshing.

    White women looking for white men and actually stating it in their profile is redneck idiocy. But black and Asian women saying that they're looking for respectively black and Asian men...it doesn't strike me as a problem. Indeed, it's nice to see. Perhaps logically, there's a conflict here but I suppose one factor is that it seems fairly rare to see black or Asian women expressly stating their preference for men of their own race.

    And it is a time saver. Why message somebody who absolutely will not be interested? You see this with Muslim women virtually all the time. They'll put in their profile, "Only Muslim men". Personally, I appreciate the warning. Why waste my A-material on somebody with religious preferences? And I'm not interested in religious folk anyway.

    You also see "Christians only" once in a great while. And for these people, even though I'm not religious, I'd be okay with sending them a message. I was raised Catholic so should qualify. And I don't think (at least in Europe) that they're looking for somebody to go to church with and discuss religious issues. I think it's generally just code for "No Muslims". But that doesn't offend me like the "I only date white guys" does.

    So maybe I'm all turned around about stating race and religion preferences on your profile. Logically, it should either be good or not. I can't see why it should vary depending on the race/religion of the writer and whether they're looking to date people from their own or a different race/religion.

    Spoiler:
  • samurai6966samurai6966 Registered User
    edited May 2011
    Honestly, if I see a profile that says "I'm looking for X race" then I'm not interested. I'd love to believe we as a people would be more mature than to be worried about race. But I guess as long as we have stereotypes and morons, we'll have racism.

    As far as religion is concerned, I understand why you want to date someone of the same believes as you, depending on how strong your believes are, but I've dated a Catholic, Atheist, and Wiccan and I things went pretty good even after we broke up. Except for the Catholic. But those uniforms...

    Echo wrote: »
    Yeah, some times I just want to get my farm in shape without being bothered by green explosive dildos.
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    You can consider it just another piece of useful information in their profile. Better she puts up a flag to point out that she has those kinds of beliefs so you don't have to waste your time and find out later. Meanwhile, racist dudes can get on that shit.

    That sounds terrible, but it reminds me of when dumb girls apply to my guild and say something about how they're a cute gamer grrl in the "Anything else we should know?" section. Your gender/level of flirtiness/e-whore status do not belong on an app for a raiding guild, but the fact that you think that's something appropriate/useful to mention does indeed tell me something I need to know.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • MyDcmbrMyDcmbr Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I want a cute gamer grrl. :(

    Steam
    So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
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