Tell me about your Caribbean vacations, Usul

Straygatsby

Another poster's mention of vacation in another thread today sparked the realization in me that I've not had one for I don't know how long, and it's damn right time. So, being a huge fan of the terrifying crowdsourced knowledge pool of a fully armed and operational Help/Advi....[server busy try again later]...ce Forum, I ask for all of your help and experiences in taking vacations in the Caribbean. To give you some latticework upon which to grow the vines of your sagely advice, it'd be myself and my pseudolifematepartnergirlfriend of ages past. We're not breeders, but we don't mind younglings, as long as we aren't being absolutely drowned in their keening (think Disneyworld, as much as I love the place), so we'd be leaning towards more adultish resorts, all-inclusives, or locales.

We are not wealthy by any means but neither are we destitute (or particularly thrifty). I'm not interested in hostels unless they have a swim up edgeless pool overlooking a white sand beach, but I don't feast on diamonds with my fruity pebbles, either. I'd throw out an off the cuff budget of, say 3k, just to ballpark it. One upside (and the reason I'm specifying the whole of the Caribbean) is that we are currently based in Baton Rouge and New Orleans but won't be much longer, so it seems a good time to take advantage of cheap flights from these points.

I don't have any firsthand knowledge of any of the islands of any kind, so any anecdotes you have, recommendations, horror stories, etc...would be lovely. I don't know if this kind of thing will materialize, especially planned so late, but I'd love to look into it more. I'm well traveled in the lower 48 but a tiny child of the world outside of it, so any wisdom is welcome, especially when it comes to which islands/port/towns are great for a pair of 30ish quiet Americans who can handle their rum punch but no longer have any desire to witness the havoc of Spring Break.

Aurora Borealis

I've gone to the USVI several times and I loved it. I stayed with a friend there so I can't give you hotel information or anything, but I can tell you some general things.
It's the U.S., so no customs or passports or any of that.
During tourist season they serve free shots of rum at the airport.
St, Thomas is a little rougher and has a lot more people.
St. John is gorgeous and has all the best beaches. It has fewer people and most of them are rich, so everything is a that much more expensive.
I never went to St. Croix but I hear it is even quieter and mostly farms.
Cars still steer on the left, but you drive on the left side of the road.
Common road hazards include massive potholes, herds of goats, noisy chickens and the occasional donkey.
The drinking age is 18 (which partially explains why the roads are so bad) and you can buy rum everywhere. Including the gas station.
Not a big spring break destination, which I find surprising given the lower drinking age. If what you want is a private/semiprivate beaches and plenty of choice restaurants and bars, you can easily find it there.

A cultural note- You are required to say good morning or afternoon, etc,) to everyone before you talk to them, as it's very rude not to unless you are sleeping with that person.

Wezoin

Barbados is the most expensive and farthest away (probably outside your 3k budget if thats for both of you if you go all-inclusive), but as a result isn't as heavily tourist packed. The economy is still almost entirely tourism based, but it's not like Cuba, or Dominican where the entire coastline is packed with hotels.

Where to go and what type of hotel to stay in really depends on what you want to do. If you want to sit on a beach and get drunk and eat non-stop, go all-inclusive basically anywhere - all inclusives are basically the same everywhere (well, except Cuba where a 5star is more like a 2star anywhere else largely due to the lack of seasonings and spices caused by the embargo.) This is a popular option among the crowd of Americans who want to go to a foreign country but still expect everything to be exactly like it is in the US, largely because you really don't experience any of the culture other than perhaps a couple of relaxed hotel employees. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with going for an all-inclusive, it can be very relaxing, but for me the real fun in travelling is seeing the locals, going into little towns and villages.

If you go to a hotel that isn't all-inclusive you'll find that there is probably a restaurant in the hotel that means you can grab a last minute meal if you want to eat at the hotel, but can still go into towns and eat there without feeling as though you are wasting money (thinking "well we could eat at the hotel for free.") If you are going this route you should do a bit of research beforehand. This requires things like figuring out
1) the political climate and if its safe to go into towns (Jamaica is pretty iffy right now politically, pretty dangerous. Most places in the Caribbean I wouldn't advise going off on your own or staying out at night - a couple got mugged by a man with a machete on a beach in Barbados while I was on the same beach.) If you go somewhere that isn't on the verge of revolution and stay to fairly well populated you should be fine.
2) things to do, where are the good beaches? where are the best restaurants? what is the local food like (maybe if they have a national dish)? are there any good tours?

Another thing to keep in mind if you go the non-all-inclusive route is that food tends to be very expensive in the Caribbean. As a result you will want to keep as much of your budget as possible for other expenses. Example: President's Choice Macaroni Cheese (Canada: 2 boxes for $0.99, Barbados: 1 box for $9.99) Not all food is this expensive, fruit is very cheap, chicken, fish and goat tend to also be cheap. It is mostly highly processed foods, or anything that has to be imported that is expensive. Which brings me to my next suggestion, if your hotel room has a kitchen area, throw some sachets of Sidekicks or other non-perishables in your suitcase so you can have a few cheap meals if you want to save money or find that you don't like the locally available food.

Barbados -
Batsheba/Cattlewash are the beaches the locals tend to go to - Bathsheba is more coral and rough, Cattlewash is more sandy and calm. If you get a chance to go to these beaches, they will be a lot less crowded. There are plenty of beachhouses you can rent right on the beach in Cattlewash.

Island Safari Tours - Get loaded into the back of a pickup with sideways facing seats in it, go see all of Barbados's sights, and get loaded up on as much Rum Punch (or pop) as you can drink. They take you into lots of little villages and you have a chance to buy things in local markets with the security of a largish (about 8 people + the local driver) group, drivers are pretty hilarious too. I think its about $70/person, but takes up the whole day, they'll pick you up and drop you off wherever you want. Very good deal.

If you're on a beach, try buying some Ackees, they are delicious local fruits which, from what I understand, are only in Barbados. There is another fruit by the same name that is grown in Africa and the rest of the Caribbean apparently.

The Jolly Roger is also a great time, although may be a bit party-ish if you're looking to avoid the spring break crowd - its a giant pirate ship that goes out to sea full of booze and comes back almost empty of it.

Atlantis Submarines - Submarine rides down to the bottom of the ocean, not too pricey either. Lots of fun and very interesting.

There are cruise ships that will take you out to swim with wild sea turtles for a fee, or if you don't mind a short (5 minute) swim you can follow them out from a beach and swim with the turtles for free. They attract them by baiting the water with lettuce. When I was younger I swam down and had one pull me by holding onto its shell, they are absolutely massive.

The wildlife reserve is also a cheap way to spend a couple hours, and is plenty of fun. Just hold on to your glasses and hats because monkeys will steal 'em.

Other plusses:
Entire island is surrounded by coral, so no sharks
Chefette is deeeelicious, fast, and cheap. Roti's aren't that bad for you either. (Little known fact: the only country McDonalds ever failed in was Barbados, because Chefette dominated the market. (update: Actually they apparently just failed in Jamaica in 2005 as well))
Flying fish is incredible.

Aaand I'm spent.

Straygatsby

Thanks very much to both of you. That kind of information is the what I was looking for. Sifting through the vast internet dump site of travel information is a nightmare (it's even worse than trying to find legitimate medical advice online!). Barbados and the Virgin Islands were both in our heads when we first birthed the idea, and it was strictly at pie in the sky stage, so all this is a great help.

I'm going to keep gathering intel, so if any of you have more stories and really want to put off opening that next file on your desk, feel free to share! I need to go investigate an all inclusive in Montego Bay that a buddy of mine went to last year. He said it was a little ratty, but that it was cheap and the beach enormous.

Anyway, at this point in this post, *I'm* the one who's avoiding work, so...thanks again!